Archive of Our Own

Yoohyeon couldn't sleep.

Her room seemed cold, condescending even, as the dull rings of raindrops hitting the pavements outside bounced off the walls. She pulled her fuzzy captain america character blanket up to her chin, one that Siyeon bought for her on her Thailand trip and despite only being two weeks into September, Yoohyeon felt a rushing chill of air swirling around her room. Must be the air-con. Nope, she'd turned it off before going to bed.

The digital clock on her nightstand read 2:16 AM in angry red letters. Yoohyeon wasn't sure how long she had been sloshing around her sheets for, but she figured it must've been hours. It felt long. Her room had a way of making her feel incredibly small and unprotected, despite her having slept in her for more than 2 years now.

And as if God was laughing at her inability to shut off her internal reeling, the doorbell rang.

Great.

Yoohyeon ignored it the first time, because whoever thought it was a good idea to show up at her doorstep in the middle of the night wasn't going to enjoy her sympathy. But then the doorbell rang a second time, a third and finally by the time the fourth one rang, Yoohyeon was already on her toes unwillingly dragging herself to her door.

She huffed. If this was Dahyun promoting her furry convention again, she was going to shove a lamp down her ass.

Praying for herself to hold on to the last bit of sanity left in her, Yoohyeon pulled open the door preparing herself to scowl at whoever was behind it.

Except it was only Minji behind the door, a wet, shivering Minji in the empty hallway of her unit.

And Yoohyeon can never scowl at a wet and shivering Minji.

"Jesus, Minji, come on in." She quickly ushered the girl inside. Minji made her way to her living room without a word, still shivering. Yoohyeon rushed to hand her a towel. The older girl took it quietly.

"Wait, I think you should change."

Despite not having enjoyed a wink of sleep after another hurricane of assignments and deadlines, Yoohyeon ran all over her apartment in her half asleep state searching for the most decent pair of pyjamas she could provide the older girl. Finally after throwing her wet clothes in her laundry, Yoohyeon sat down next to Minji on the couch.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She began softly. She began to worry a little, considering how Minji never entered her apartment without verbally screaming "yeet" to announce her presence. And Yoohyeon was pretty sure she had only ever known that Minji.

Just not the one before her.

"Minji, did something happen?" She asked again, a little firmer this time yet still as soft as the first one. Minji looked, dare she say, vulnerable if you will and Yoohyeon could feel her worry amplifying. Before she could push her question again, Minji answered.

"I broke up with Seonwoo."

"Oh." Yoohyeon didn't know what to say, frankly. "I'm guessing it didn't go very well?"

"Oh Yooh, if only you knew."

She didn't mean to push any emotional button with her question or anything but Minji was there, already sobbing away in her arms. Yoohyeon rubbed small circles on her back, trying her best to come up with words to comfort the older girl.

"Hey, it's okay." Yoohyeon hated how that was the best she could come up with.

The temperature shifted. Somehow it got even colder in her living room with Minji sobbing soundlessly on her shoulder and Yoohyeon trying her best to coax her. Minutes seemed to pass by like hours, both women saying nothing for the next 15 minutes or so.

"Yoohyeon?" Minji started.

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you won't freak out or get angry." Minji finally looked at her in the eye, in a way Yoohyeon could not decipher.

"Just- Just promise me." Minji didn't look like she was looking for any other answer so Yoohyeon ended up saying "Promise."

"I'm pregnant."

                                *******

A lot of things seemed to change after that.

Minji was over at Yoohyeon's a lot (not that she was not before), in fact a lot more that the latter ended up giving her a spare key in case she visited when she was out having classes or studying. She also found herself nagging less often when Minji raider her fridge at 2 in the morning, scooping a little more rice in Minji's bowl when they had dinner together, waking up a little earlier so she could fix a decent breakfast for Minji before she went to work since the latter tended to run on caffeine more often than not-even if that meant drooling off in the last row of her econ lecture.

It was the little things-barely noticeable yet still a huge shift in what and how they used to be around each other, their friendship counted.

A lot of things changed. And a lot still did not.

College was, in Yoohyeon's opinion, a piece of white hot metal shoved up your ass kept intact with a clamp. Whatever that meant.

The endless drone of lectures kept flooding in as expected, assignments and deadlines issued endlessly on top of more assignments and deadlines and before she knew it, Yoohyeon had slipped into the painful heaven of a caffeine induced lifestyle. Being an arts major meant more shit from the professors than usual, and she found herself balling her fists to prevent herself from physically delivering a lunch across their faces.

Her social life was neither a failure nor a thing to be proud of, Yoohyeon was friendly-in fact she was well liked in the campus and had somewhat of a decent reputation. She kept to her small circle most of the time though-Ha Sooyoung and Park Chaeyoung were the biggest pair of losers she'd seen in her life and together, they were just as a mess as any college kid would be in their crisis years.

The trio had known each other since freshman year in highschool, when they were all friendless losers in the social hierarchy who eventually came together due to their similarities and went to the same college in hopes of having each other's backs throughout the hell that was college, now they learned that it was only an excuse for them to be together.

They were parts of the little reasons Yoohyeon even stayed in college, otherwise she would've easily dropped out after that one horrible experience in the form of her first econ class. Not that she would admit it out aloud.

And of course, Minji was there too.

"I wanna drop out."

Minji frowned at her sudden remark, looking up from her bucket of mint ice cream (yuck, in Yoohyeon's opinion) in her arms. "What makes you say that?"

"College is exhausting," Yoohyeon answered from the floor, long limbs sprawled all over the place. "The professors are shit and all we learn in lectures is how to sneak in weed and cheat sheets during tests so we don't fail the year."

"Were you expecting something else?"

Minji asked with part sarcasm and full time earnesty that Yoohyeon could not bring herself to answer. The older girl and always had a way with words while Yoohyeon was more often tongue tied and stutter speeched-having a painfully awkward personality did not help either. Minji was one of the leading editors for a high end magazine for a reason, she mused.

"No? I mean," She sat up to run a hand over her face. "I had always known college would be shit but I just didn't expect this level of disaster. It's just hard, you know? Sometimes, the lines kind of get........ blurry."

"Hey, look at me," Minji commanded softly. Yoohyeon obeyed. The older girl let go of her bucket and joined her on the floor. She gently tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "It's okay to feel like that. We all have our limits. What's important is that you don't spiral and get back on track in the right way and learn from the experience. You just need to believe in yourself a little more, Yooh."

Yoohyeon stayed quiet, soaking in her words. The nightly pre October heat invaded her living room, creating an even chaotic medium for her thoughts to clutter about. Her and her 3 cans of Red Bull that she had downed just before starting her literature assignment-on the floor sprawled about like the hopeless case that she was.

And Minji's hands in hers.

"If I survived through college with a journalism major and an asshat for a boyfriend and still be alive to have a decent job, I think you can absolutely make it."

Somehow the world seemed a lot less shitty when Minji was around.

                             *******

Around some time in December, Minji moved in.

It wasn't a big decision for neither of them, considering how Minji was practically living in Yoohyeon apartment by then. All it took was another one of their movie nights (which, from which moment on Yoohyeon had failed to observe, had turned into mandatory sleepovers) and Minji munching on her fourth churro to randomly throw out her card. "Yooh, I wanna move in with you."

It was funny how Yoohyeon didn't even need to think of a response. Taking a bite out of her own churro, all she replied was a simple "Okay."

It wasn't like there was any other answer beside it anyway.

Living with Minji was like raising a hamster-except the hamster was in the form of a fully grown 23 year old working woman of the society who wouldn't stop talking to her rilakumma collection every night before bed for reasons Yoohyeon had no intentions of knowing. She was mature and responsible-some things that Yoohyeon never quite found herself possessing and moving in with Minji was like living with her parents all over again, except it was much more liberating and emotionally welcoming.

"For the love of Louis's child, Yoohyeon, please do the fucking laundry."

But there were other issues too.

"Yoohyeon, your sports bra is poking my ass from between the couch."

Yoohyeon wasn't too sure if she should come to face with it.

"Yoohyeon, you're breathing too loud. I can't focus on my work."

Minji cared for everyone around her. In fact, she was a little too selfless than necessary.

While Yoohyeon had always been one to preserve her affections for specific people in her life-her social life explains, but Minji? Minji smothered. She showered and spoilt everyone with love and care and delicacy-strangers or not, everyone who had come in contact with her atleast once knew her as the literal embodiment of sunshine, and they weren't even exaggerating to begin with.

Maybe that was why Yoohyeon fell in love with her that one evening-warm summer winds dancing away in the air above their figures as they sat side to side on the rooftop of their apartment building sipping the vodka that Minji somehow managed to score at a lower price from a college kid.

The purpose had been to blow off stress initially, Yoohyeon had a big paper coming up and Minji had been working on one of her articles for an important upcoming issue but they had somehow ended up getting more hammered than necessary, and the topic had diverged into somewhere between Taylor Swift lesbian conspiracy and Sooyoung almost getting punched on the face for flirting with one of the sorority sisters.

"I personally feel that we shouldn't give a fuck about life," Minji stated.

Yoohyeon chuckled. She was still quite a little sober compared to the older woman who had began groping the air for obviously drunken reasons. "And why's that?"

"It's a waste of ATP. You don't even get shit to happen the way you want when you give half a fuck. Sooyoung doesn't give a fuck, Seonwoo doesn't give a fuck, you don't give a fuck. Why should I?"

By then, Yoohyeon knew it was all nonsense Minji had just spewed, yet the mention of her ex boyfriend caught her a little off guard. They had never actually brought him in any of their previous conversations after the night Minji had broken up with him. It was like an implicit agreement-to never speak of the bastard's existence again despite being the father of the child Minji was carrying.

But of course, Yoohyeon didn't comment on it. Not that it was place to do so.

"What makes you think I don't give a fuck?" She asked instead.

"You kicked the balls of that asshole Chaeyoung was dating and ditched your date with Yubin to try out the new froyo place with me, I think that speaks for itself."

"You meant to say that I'm just sweet." Minji punched her on her the shoulder while she only laughed. The winds blew again and Minji scooted closer to her.

"I think you should stop drinking," Yoohyeon said quietly, referring to her pregnant state.

"I live a fucked up life, Yoohyeon. The only way I can deal with it is if I fuck up my senses just as badly so I don't feel how messed up I am inside." Minji took a swig and leaned against her shoulder.

She nestled against the crook of her neck, her lips making contact with the skin there as Yoohyeon visibly tensed. "Though, you're right. You're really sweet."

Yoohyeon found herself a little breathless after that.

                                   *******

The café was noisy.

But Bora was noisier.

"So this dude ended up getting a blue eye because Siyeon yeeted her electric guitar on his face for greasing me up. Sigh, I love her."

"If that's what having a girlfriend is like, I don't want one," Yoohyeon scrunched her nose at the deadly bitterness of her coffee. Bora liked to forget her sugar and cream order for no reason.

"You're just pressed you don't have a girlfriend," Bora tched. Before Yoohyeon could roll her eyes again, she began waving excitedly behind her.

"BARK."

"Oh god."

Yoohyeon ran a hand over her face. Siyeon could be seen making her entrance just as excitedly, throwing herself to her girlfriend's arms as she reached their table.

"Woof, woof, baby."

"Are you two serious?" Yoohyeon groaned.

She had known Bora through Minji and Yoohyeon hadn't known from which moment one they had started hanging out from, but Bora was fun to be around and a good friend in distressful times so Yoohyeon eventually found herself befriending her. Siyeon automatically came into the scene as Bora's sickeningly loving girlfriend.

"So you walked 3 blocks to buy Minji a bar of Snickers at midnight? Damn."

"Why couldn't you do that for me when I was craving burritos?" Bora sighed.

"You have limbs. And you're not carrying a child." Yoohyeon took another sip of her coffee and grimaced. Honestly, she just wanted to do something with her hands at that point.

"Whipped, bro. You're whipped as fuck." Bora shook her head.

"I mean, that's what girlfriends are for, right?" Siyeon said.

Both Bora and Yoohyeon looked at her in confusion. Siyeon threw her hands up in defence. "What? It's about time you two got together."

"We're not together," Yoohyeon replied a little too awkwardly than she would've liked.

"Relax, I'm just messing with you." Siyeon laughed good naturedly. "I saw you guys shopping together at IKEA so...."

"Right," Yoohyeon played with he fingers.

"You two would make really cute parents though."

That was the last straw before Bora swept away all awkwardness by launching into another topic of how one of Siyeon's bandmates was trying to zip up his pants and instead fell off the stage of the bar they were performing on.

"You two would make really cute parents."

                            ********

By the time Yoohyeon returned home, it was 7 in the evening and all she had in mind was a long, hot shower before crashing on her bed until Minji woke her up for dinner. The older girl wasn't home, she had told her that she was working late. Yoohyeon kicked off her shoes at the entrance to make a beeline for the bathroom.

"Yoohyeon!"

"Jesus Christ, Mom!" Yoohyeon half yelled.

"I've been waiting all day to talk to you. Sit down." Her mother gestured to the couch. Yoohyeon sighed and followed. There goes her plans.

"How'd you even get inside? You don't have a key."

"I have my ways, shush." Yoohyeon rolled her eyes. Her mother did a once over of her living room before speaking. "You didn't tell me you had a roommate."

"She just moved in-"

"Why's she pregnant?"

"Wha- How'd you know?" Yoohyeon stared at her mother dumbfounded. The said woman crossed her legs over the other and sat up in a way as if she was asserting dominance over the conversation.

"Oh please, I found a bunch of probiotics in her drawer."

"You went to her room??!"

"I just wanted to see what kind of person my daughter was living with, apparantly not a decent one," her mother scoffed.

"Mom, you're supposed to respect people's privacy. Mine included," Yoohyeon groaned. "And what do you mean? Minji's more than decent."

"Is she married?" She ignored her question. Yoohyeon wanted to slam her head against the coffee table.

"No? Ugh, why would she be married? She's only 23."

"Getting pregnant before marriage, my, my, children these days-"

"What do you want, Mom?" Yoohyeon didn't care if she was being rude any longer, she just wanted her mother out of her apartment as soon as possible. She's had a long day anyway.

"I don't think you should be close to someone like her. She sounds hideous." Her mother cleared her throat seeing that Yoohyeon was glaring at her. "You're distracting me. We were going to talk about more important things."

"Please just get to it quickly." Yoohyeon grew exasperated. Her mother cleared her throat loudly once more, and Yoohyeon didn't suppress the urge to roll her eyes once more.

"We want you back home."

                                   *******

The week was long. A painful stretch of days and a mountain of assignments that wouldn't stop biting her in the ass no matter how long she sat in the library.

The week was long. Atleast for Yoohyeon.

And she hadn't slept like a normal person for as long as she could remember.

Which was why she was sleep walking her ass to the nearest convenience store at 2:09 in the morning. All because Minji was craving banana milk and melona.

Yoohyeon was dying, in a sense. The walk back to her apartment from the conveniences store seemed like an airport runway all of a sudden, despite it being barely a 2 minute walk from her unit. And finally there she was, after pressing the wrong door twice and somehow ending up in Dayhyun's unit where the girl agressively barked at her for disrupting their furry ritual, stumbling her way into Minji's room where the older girl sat cross legged typing away on her laptop.

"I told you you didn't have to run for me."

Yoohyeon shrugged off her cardigan to throw it on one of the nearby chairs and placed the eatables on Minji's table.

"It's fine. You should eat well for your uh, baby and uh, yourself?" She stumbled awkwardly.

Minji giggled and ushered her to her bed. "Come on, lie down with me."

Yoohyeon scooted awkwardly on the older's bed whilst Minji put away her laptop. They lied down side to side, Yoohyeon keeping her hands straight on her sides, as if the whole situation had transfigured her into a log all of a sudden.

"Why do you look like you're being held at gunpoint?" Minji giggled.

"Sorry," Yoohyeon blushed. She shifted a little and placed her hands on her stomach instead. Minji nuzzled on her side.

"You still look captive, Yooh."

The said girl laughed dryly, attempting to sound not as nervous as she could. Minji reached for the lamp on the nightstand and turned it off.

"You're not eating?"

"My appetite retreated. I'll eat in the morning." Even in the dark, Yoohyeon could make out her shit eating grin. Twinkling eyes and all. She rolled her eyes.

Neither spoke a word for a while, choosing to lie quietly engulfed in the darkness, Yoohyeon mentally warring with an apocalypse inside her head as Minji placed one hand across her stomach and nuzzled close to her neck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

"Minji?"

"Yes, captive?"

"Listen, I have something to tell you." Yoohyeon willed herself to face Minji. And Jesus Christ, had Minji always been this pretty? The Seoul skyline outside the window of her room seemed to refract itself from the ceiling to her sharp features, making her look impossibly unreal.

Yoohyeon gulped. It was going to be harder than she had figured.

"I'm going to be in Incheon for a while."

"What?"

"Your father passed away yesterday. We need you in the funeral."

"Wait, what?"

Yoohyeon didn't dare look Minji in the eye. The weight in her chest made it impossible for her to do so.

" Mom ," Yoohyeon began firmly, clearly exasperated with the conversation. "I'm going to be there for dad's funeral. Without question. But you can't force me to leave everything here and move back to Incheon again. It took me so long to get to where I am. Please understand."

"The company is without an heir, Yoohyeon." Something about the way her mother spoke gave her the impression that she would not be able to twist the argument in her favour.

"We let you study here, paid for this apartment only because your father was insistent, he had always been overly indulgent anyway. Without him in the game, the family inheritance is in danger. Your brother is a raw scum who can't handle property for his life and your sister's still in high school. Your father gave you those shares for a reason. He wanted to make sure his successor was someone close and trust worthy. The bloodline needs you, Yoohyeon."

Anger and disappointment seeped faster into her heart than it ever did before, if not betrayal.

"The board has decided. It has to be you."

" Mom , I can't."

"I know this sounds very sudden, but hear me out," Yoohyeon attempted to sound as firm as she could be, despite harbouring a storm inside her head. "My father passed away yesterday and I have to be home for his funeral and-"

The words rolled around her tongue, not quite ready to complete her sentence yet. Minji turned to look at her in the dark and Yoohyeon swore she could practically see galaxies in her eyes. They twinkled with confusion and worry, the little swirl of brown that complimented her perfect little face so well.

"........I figured my family might want me there for a while after you know, everything." Yoohyeon bit the inside of her cheek.

It was half a lie. Not nearly as bad, she convinced.

"Of course you should go, your family needs you." Minji sounded genuinely concerned that a tiny part of Yoohyeon burned with shame and guilt.

"Don't worry about things here, I'll keep the place clean." Minji smiled down at her. Something inside Yoohyeon clenched painfully.

"Sure you will." She was going to regret a lot of things about that answer later.

Minji dozed off peacefully in Yoohyeon's arms after that. Yoohyeon never found herself falling asleep that night.

"It's all wealth and glory, Yoohyeon. You have nothing to lose."

"It has to be you."

"You're sure you've packed everything?" Minji did a double check over her bags and Yoohyeon resisted the urge to cry at how attentive the older girl was.

"Everything, Minji. Don't worry," she reassured.

"Travel safely, okay?" Minji adjusted the scarf around Yoohyeon's neck. "I'll miss you."

"I miss you already." Yoohyeon felt an overwhelming urge to cry

And it was the longest hug of her life.

Yoohyeon waved at Minji from the car her mother sent until she could no longer see her.

                                  ********

The funeral was as grand as any corporate mogul's could be, her family and the whole company extended mourning her father's death in more lavish ways than possible. Yoohyeon loved her father, without question, he had done things that she would always remember him for.

But did she feel genuinely connected to him? Yoohyeon would stutter answering that question.

She would rarely actually talk about it, but Yoohyeon did grow up lonely, and apart from being smothered with all that she'd wanted from a young age and more-she was lonely. And that lonely child Yoohyeon had been once grew up into a conflicted version of herself wherein the present day Yoohyeon problems bugged her more often than she would've liked.

"Hey, you okay?" Sooyoung sat down next to her.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" Yoohyeon stretched in her funeral one piece. God, rich people clothes are so stuffy.

"Dude, what's gotten you so snappy?"

"I'm not snappy."

"You told the priest the funeral was taking too long, yelled at the organiser for the colour of the curtains and told Chaeyoung her dress looked like garbage."

Yoohyeon groaned aloud. The whole ceremony felt a lot less like a funeral and a lot more like a circus where she was the clown. The amount of people who had come up to her with business propositions or ulterior motives of eating off her potential position as the heir, that Yoohyeon did not want to discuss. She had enough of courtesy and the day was overall just as shitty as she'd figured.

And Yoohyeon was sick of feeling like an outsider when she should be the last person feeling that way.

"Sorry I'm just having a shitty day," she sighed.

"If this is about your mom, I completely understand." Sooyoung crossed her legs. "She's been talking off Chaeyoung for almost," she checked her watch. "An hour now. Poor girl just had an ear surgery too."

"I don't know, Sooyoung. She's been really pushing this inheritance thing, and I know Dad would've ideally liked for me to take over but I just can't leave everything back in Seoul and build a new life here, you know? It took me so long to get to where I am-college, my major, you guys and, and-" she trailed off.

"Minji?" Sooyoung continued for her.

"Yeah, Minji, I guess."

Sooyoung placed a hand over her shoulder and rubbed it comfortingly. "You don't have to stay here if you don't want to, you know." A gush of cold night wind swept by and Yoohyeon shuddered in her tiny one piece. "I mean, you've practically had a life back there. There's people who genuinely love having you around, and I think it'd be wasteful to just leave it all behind and just- you know, root yourself here to please people you obviously don't want to please."

Yoohyeon thought about it. She really did. No matter how long and intensely she tried to figure out an answer, it was always the same.

A pleasant life back in Seoul with her friends and Minji surrounding her, leaving everything behind for her blood to crumble in pieces, or a wealthy life of responsibility and power from her roots where she could have everything she wanted within her reach without having to lift a finger?

"Besides, Minji's back home, isn't she? She would hate for you to leave so suddenly."

"The corporate world is a dangerous place, Yoohyeon. One misstep and the next moment you'll be enslaved and entitled to the name of another big name in the industry. You wouldn't want that for your family, do you?"

The family inheritance was huge. Countless people thirsted for the ultimate position, rivals looking for an opportunity to sabotage her family and their only empire that her father had built manually over the years.

Would she be selfish this time too?

"You wouldn't want to disappoint your father, would you?"

"Dude, your mom's so weird," Chaeyoung made her entrance from the door connecting Yoohyeon's room to the porch. "She kept asking me if I have a boyfriend and when I told her that I'm a lesbian she kept asking me to speak Lebanese because she thought I said I was Lebanese."

"It has to be you."

She knew what to do.

                                    *******

Yoohyeon didn't go back to Seoul for a while.

She stayed in Incheon just as her mother would've liked-running over meetings, brushing up her knowledge of business management and learning from the trusted ones as she clawed her way back to where her father sat. Her brother and the corporate rivals hated her just the same-she didn't care particularly, her only focus was on rebuilding and furnishing what her father had already built, even better if possible.

Family life turned out exhausting soon enough, manipulative relatives offering bribery in exchange for a little more power and control from her side, more and more of veiled courtesy and less of genuinety. Her mother was no exception. It was a never ending cycle of attempts to exploit her status and her obvious inexperience into obtaining a share of their own. Bunch of animals as they were.

The only reason that kept her going was her little sister-17 year old little but not so little Gahyeon who was possibly the only genuine person Yoohyeon could count on at the moment. Even though half sisters, the two had always been close and tight knitted as kids and Yoohyeon found out soon enough that they hadn't changed at all. Not one bit. Gahyeon offered moral and emotional support when needed and despite growing up in a corrupted and power hungry household, Gahyeon was still as sweet and humble as she could be. Yoohyeon thanked the skies for giving her a Gahyeon.

And just like that, 5 years have already gone by.

The process was grueling. A painful cycle of suppressed emotions on Yoohyeon's side and lesser and lesser mercy from the business and her family. College soon felt like a distant memory as Yoohyeon successfully managed to cut off every other person she had contact in Seoul, except Sooyoung and Chaeyoung.

Sooyoung had been gravely upset when she first made her decision and Chaeyoung, even worse, had a violent crying session just as she heard the news. Yoohyeon felt a wave of guilt wash over her internally, feeling just as disappointed in herself. Which was why she made sure to reassure her friends before they left for Seoul.

"Don't worry, the Parks are still tied in business with us, remember? We'll see each other often," she told Chaeyoung.

"You better be," Sooyoung remarked before driving off.

And Minji.

Minji was overall a tough topic for Yoohyeon. She never really did go back, called her to tell her something atleast or even tried to at that point. She changed her number, deactivated her old twitter account and ignored all Sooyoung and Chaeyoung's nagging to contact her. Something took over her, and Yoohyeon felt an overwhelming fear that she would remain strung to her feelings for a long time. Ones that Minji didn't even reciprocate.

That maybe, she would never be over Minji at all.

Which is why she felt an unfamiliar bundle of nerves settling in as her chauffeur drove her car through the bridge over Hangang on the way to a business meeting with an investor.

Yoohyeon was rarely ever nervous. Large businesses meetings? Lavish ass parties thrown in her name? A presentation to the Lotte CEO? She could go over those without breaking a sweat.

But this was different. She was finally back in Seoul after 5 years, half a decade of grinding and pushing herself to climb to the top and finally, finally returning to the place where it had all been uprooted.

Yoohyeon felt nervous.

Vivid memories of her and Minji's late night snack trips to the banks of Hangang lulled over her mind continuosly as her car passed through the long stretch of the landmark river. She couldn't help thinking, did Minji think of her too? How was she raising her kid? Has she found someone else already?

The questions bugged her until the car stopped in front of a building, a skyscraper to be exact. The one where she would be meeting he investor. Yoohyeon took a deep breath. Focus, she recited to herself as she rode up the elevator with her assistant to the investor's office.

The meeting wasn't as nearly as bad as she thought it would be. It was pleasant, in fact. Much more pleasant than the ones where she had to sit for hours dealing with old men cranking up argument after argument instead of signing the fucking contract.

Handong was by far the most interesting investor she'd had so far. Having made her breakout in the Korean market as of recently, the Chinese woman was an entrepreneur true to her job, sophisticated, gracefully unassuming and alluring. Seductive, even.

Yoohyeon had heard one too many rumours of the older woman luring men in the industry into her viscous traps, unusually well calculated moves for a person clearly unfamiliar with the roots of Korean entrepreneurship. More so a woman. There was even one rumour of how she punched her ex husband for cheating on her before immediately divorcing him.

But Yoohyeon was there for business and business only, and she planned to keep it strictly that way.

The woman was dangerous, hard headed and unapologetically strategic, the kind that Yoohyeon was determined to ally. Handong was difficult, the hard to impress type and businessmen and women alike had busted their asses trying to land business with her.

Which was why Yoohyeon was both confused and surprised when Handong signed the contract only 15 minutes into the briefing.

"You're worth investing my time on," she said simply. Yoohyeon frowned a little at the double meaning.

She kept her thoughts to ponder over for a later date upon seeing Handong give her one of her signature smirks. "I look forward to working with you, Kim Yoohyeon." Yoohyeon felt queasy at the way her name rolled off the woman's tongue.

Her doubts were confirmed soon enough as she was going over the documents on her way back home. At the edge of the paper was written in a loopy hand, a series of numbers and a flirty 'call me' above it. Yoohyeon shook her hand. Really, on an official document?

She put away the stack of papers after that. Her thoughts cluttered. Seoul outside was making it hard for them to be organised. She leaned her head against the window. The sun could be seen retreating in the horizon from where she sat, her car passing through the stretch of Hangang in swift motion. It was not doing. She needed a break.

"Mr.Lee?" She called out, her voice coming out heavier than intended. "Please turn back around. I want to be somewhere."

Yoohyeon's heart seemed to retreat to its old days just like the car did back into the city. Seoul looked beautiful, and she wanted to be a part of it for a little longer.

                                      ******

Yoohyeon felt like passing out.

Her vision warped in and out of itself and her head spun. The drink in front of her seemed distorted from its original shape, Yoohyeon sighed. She was starting to regret this.

The old dude next to her had been trying to strike up a conversation with her since she sat down and was now launching into a merry session of vaping (she doesn't even know anymore) after she shut him down that made her feel nauseous as fuck.

Maybe visiting the bar from her college days in her age wasn't all that liberating as it seemed. Or even nostalgic.

The atmosphere was getting to her. The jazz track from the speakers sent a biting headache implanting itself at the back of her eyeballs, and everything, everything began to feel blurry. Like her own life. Yoohyeon mused half heartedly at the metaphor.

She gave the room a once over, lazily playing with the rings around her fingers. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Well, except her. Nobody seemed to give a fuck.

"I personally feel that we shouldn't give a fuck about life."

Yoohyeon winced at the memory. Maybe she shouldn't have drunk in the first place.

She just didn't want to feel lonely dammit.

And as if the gods were mocking her frail state, her eyes landed on a stranger at the far corner of the room. She seemed equally as bored, occasionally swirling the glass in the left hand, and Yoohyeon empathised with her. She wasn't the only one feeling lonely. They made eye contact.

A familiar bubble of nausea and nerves washed up her throat as she witnessed the stranger stand up from her seat and make her way towards her. Yoohyeon swallowed hard. Her mind blanked out in he boozed state, and suddenly she found it hard to breathe.

And finally, the pretty stranger stood before her. Jet black hair, navy blue suit, low cut blouse, oh wow-

"Long time no see, Yoohyeon."

Yoohyeon swallowed even harder.

"Hi, Minji."

                                       ******

"So, uh how are you?"

Yoohyeon was going to die of awkwardness. Lord, if you love me, save me.

"I'm fine," Minji replied. There was an icy edge to it that made Yoohyeon want to sprint out of the car straight back to Incheon. "You?"

"I'm fine. Too." She instantly regretted sending her own car away. She felt stuck.

"What brings you back to Seoul?"

"I had a meeting with an investor," she replied truthfully. Honestly, the insides of Minji's KIA seltos was starting to squeeze the air out of her lungs.

"For the global partnership?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"My cousin's a manager."

"I see."

Somehow the conversation itself was making her more on edge than she already was-the normality and casualty of it. All that shouldn't have existed in the first place, not when they hadn't seen each other in over half a decade.

Yoohyeon had so many questions. How was your kid doing? What have you been upto? Do you still live in our apartment? Are you promoted to chief editor yet? How long has it been since you dyed your hair back to black? Did you think of me-

"Do you wanna go to my place?" Minji asked instead.

Yoohyeon didn't have much of an option anyway. "Sure."

The drive to Minji's condo (yes, she lived in a condo now) was long. Yoohyeon learned, Minji had moved out of their previous apartment just 3 months after she gave birth, coinciding with the period in which she was promoted to chief editor.

"It was easier to leave things behind that way," she simply said.

Yoohyeon felt the sting in her words. It was a well deserved jab.

The way up to Minji's condo in the elevator was even more tense, if that was possible. Yoohyeon saw the older girl's reflection from the smooth metal doors. Minji looked a lot more calm than when she had seen her last. Like she had gone through a phase. Minji looked.......changed.

But then, Yoohyeon hadn't seen her in a while either.

"Sit," was the first thing Minji said as they entered her living room.

Yoohyeon obeyed, quietly and carefully taking a seat on the plush leather couch as if any slight mismovement would rip the leather apart. She felt a little sketchy, feeling unfamiliar and shockingly small in Minji's luxurious condo despite living in a place thrice as large.

"Where's your kid?" Yoohyeon played with the tips of her newly dyed hair, evidently awkward in the new setting.

"She's having a sleepover at Siyeon's," Minji answered simply as she took out two wine glasses from the cabinets. "Whiskey?"

"Sure." Yoohyeon felt an itch down her throat all of a sudden. She did not remember her plain white blouse being so warm out.

Minji sat down next to her soon enough, handing her her own glass of the fancy alcohol. Ironic, Yoohyeon mused, she couldn't even have dreamt of having a mouthful of Jack Daniel's back in her college days in spite of all the money she could've easily weaved out of her parents. All she remembered drinking in college was the cheap vodka Sooyoung sneaked in with her classic Pringles tumbler trick and the occasional whiskey that Chaeyoung managed to steal from her older cousin's collection, if she was even lucky that was. Which honestly, wasn't very often.

Good, old days.

"Why'd you leave, Yoohyeon?" Minji broke the ice.

And God, would Yoohyeon love to have the answer to that right then. She swallowed a little, still tongue tied as ever, as if she hadn't already grown out of her awkward personality in college and went on to become a corporate mogul.

"You remember the day I told you I'd be in Incheon for a while?" She began quietly.

Minji took a sip. "Yeah."

"Well," Yoohyeon tried to suppress her nerves as best as she could. "My mom came over that day and talked to me about how the family business needed a successor in place of my dad, and that the board had meetings and stuff like that. She told me I was voted so...."

She shifted in her seat, clearly growing increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation. "I didn't want to, Minji. I really didn't want to leave it all here and move back to Incheon, but- but it's a bloody world out there- my family needed me. If I turned my back on them, God knows someone else would have to eventually take over and snatch everything that belonged to us. And I didn't want to be selfish."

"You know that doens't excuse your actions, Yoohyeon," Minji replied sharply. For someone who was confronting a trail from years ago, she looked a little too calm and Yoohyeon didn't know if she should be concerned. "You should've atleast told me something. You know I would've understood. Do you even know how disappointed I was?"

"You said you didn't want to be selfish. Well, you ended up being selfish anyway."

Yoohyeon flinched a little at how right it sounded. It was the icy stab that she needed, a big slap across her face that numbed and woke her up simultaneously.

Maybe she had made a big mistake cutting off Minji completely. Maybe it was all a bad move from the start, trying to run away from her feelings when in fact, she was in that deep. So deep she fell in love with the last person she'd expect to reciprocate.

"I missed you so much, Yoohyeon," Minji's voice cracked near the edge.

"I missed you too." All the whiskey she had downed before the conversation turned intense seemed to rise up her throat once more, subtle but burning a tenfold than how it did before. And suddenly, her Louis Vuitton blouse felt too warm, her throat too dry and Minji was too close, too close to her liking-

How the fuck did she even get this close?

All it took was a little shove of courage, and their lips touched. They melted, moulded, crashed, collided and sent jolts down Yoohyeon's spine. Heat crawled up her cheeks as she closed her eyes and leaned in further creating a perfect rhythm-just the two of them that moulded into and completed each other perfectly.

A sea of emotions drifted between them, it all felt so close yet so far. As if they were making up for the lost apologies and sentences in between the years they spent apart, mumbled and sloshed in together in a pair of lips.

Just when it was about to get real, Minji pulled away. "Wait, we can't do this." She scooted away from the younger girl in a swift motion, as well f she had just committed a horrible crime.

"Why not?" Yoohyeon dared herself to ask, sick with the frustrations and regrets pent up over the years, gnawing over the thoughts of "what could have been" had she not detached herself completely from Minji's life.

"Because," Minji put her head over her palms and sighed. "Because, Yoohyeon," her whole body shook.

It was then Yoohyeon knew she made a big mistake.

"I got back together with Seonwoo."

                                    *******

"Chairman Kim?"

"Miss Kim, we're in a meeting."

Yoohyeon spluttered out of surprise, clearly sleep deprived and zoned out. Doing a quick drool check, she sat up straight. "Sorry."

"As I was saying, we are planning to launch a fashion line for furries who are specially interested in committing full time into being a furry-"

Mother of Jesus. If there was one thing Yoohyeon hated about being the chairwoman of a multi national company other than being the chairwoman of a multi national company, it was the long ass meetings. Counting all the trash that they discuss in there, even more. Not to mention how Dahyun had somehow found her after all those years Yoohyeon spent thinking the girl became visually impaired after chewing on a furry toy and sent a representative to promote her portfolio. Again.

Yoohyeon would rather watch Doyoung chew on his nails for an hour.

"Alright, alright, I'll think about it," she cut it short. "Thank you for your presentation, Jeongyeon."

By the time she came up to her office on the top-floor, Yoohyeon had practically turned into a corpse. Not only was she sleep deprived, she was also emotionally drained. The previous night didn't go well, obviously. Yoohyeon reached Incheon half past 2 in the morning, not a lot of words were exchanged when she left Minji's condo-just an awkward "bye and a "thank you."

Yoohyeon hated it all. The anger, regrets and the frustrations that bubbled on the surface as she woke up alone in her empty bedroom and it all felt so raw. She hated herself for loving, for following on, and most importantly, for even hoping that she could enjoy a happy ending.

It sucked, all of it. All Yoohyeon wanted to do at the moment was sleep it away until her assistant woke up her up for another shitty meeting.

The only thing stopping her however, was a child lurking in the hallway connected to her main office. Of course.

She frowned. What's a child doing here? "Hey," she called out softly. "You're not allowed here."

The kid in question, who looked barely 5 years old and no taller than a paper cabinet pointed her tiny little finger in her direction. "You." Yoohyeon frowned deeper. "Me?"

The child power walked to where she was and extended her palm. "Coffee, please."

Yoohyeon almost found the urge to laugh. She crouched down to meet the child's level and smiled a little. "What are you doing here? Are you lost?"

The child didn't budge, only pouted with a frown on her little face. "Coffee," she repeated.

"You want me to buy you coffee?" Yoohyeon asked, a little confused herself.

The child nodded vigorously. She grinned a little, her front milk teeth poking out and eyes twinkling a little. Yoohyeon sighed. It wasn't like she had anything better to do anyway. "Alright, let's get you your coffee."

For a child who had somehow managed to show up on the top floor of the building which was reserved for her main office only, the one Yoohyeon was with at the moment was not even fidgety. She walked quietly alongside her, her tiny fingers finding its way to Yoohyeon's somewhere along the journey to the Starbucks next to the building.

"One latte, please."

The child whined incoherently, shaking Yoohyeon's left hand with hers. "What? You don't like it?"

She shook her head. Yoohyeon gave her a tight lipped smile. "Well, I can't help it. You're too young to drink the hard stuff."

Watching a child half fumble and half drink coffee from a Starbucks cup wasn't the most boring thing she's done all day, Yoohyeon concluded. It was interesting, in fact. Because the one in front of her, wasn't typically like all the kids she'd seen her employees bring to the office. She sat quietly, fumbling with the all too large cup in her little hands and didn't seem to mind Yoohyeon's presence one bit.

"Too sweet," she complained with a look of distaste.

Yoohyeon smiled a little, finding the kid intriguing. "Hey, I forgot to ask, what's your name?"

At the question, the child stopped drinking and reached to the back pocket of her jeans. She pulled out a notepad and a pencil and proceeded to scribble something on it. Yoohyeon watched patiently, albeit a little confused with the child's antics. After she was done, she pushed the pad towards the woman. Yoohyeon took a glance at its contents.

Hyuji .

"Your name's Hyuji?" She asked, not quite feeling the rare name.

The child shook her head. Yoohyeon, although confused, did not ask further. It wasn't like it was going to matter anyway.

"Why are you using this notepad? You could've just told me."

'Hyuji' now pulled the pad towards her and began writing again. Yoohyeon waited this time around too, though still not understanding the child as yet.

mi mom tell mi tu uswe

Yoohyeon frowned once more, not understanding the poorly spelt sentence or the meaning behind it. "What?"

"Oh god, there you are."

Just then, a lady quickly made her way to their booth from the entrance. Out of sheer business instinct, Yoohyeon stood up. The child in front of her quietly took a big gulp out of her cup.

"Chairman Kim, I am so sorry. She was just with me when I was photocopying some papers and the next moment I turned around she wasn't there!" She frantically explained.

"It's fine. Chaeyeon, right? She was lurking around my main office and suddenly asked me to buy her coffee so I brought her here," Yoohyeon chuckled.

"Oh no, no, no, you're not allowed to drink coffee. Your mother's going to kill me!" Chaeyeon quickly separated the cup from Hyuji's hands. Hyuji whined aloud.

"Hyuji's not your kid?"

"No, I'm just babysitting her for the day. Her mom's on a business trip to Jeju." Chaeyeon scooped up little Hyuji in her arms. "And by the way, it's not Hyuji. It's Hyunjin. She gets it wrong sometimes."

Huh.

"If you don't mind me asking," Yoohyeon watched as Chaeyeon tucked away the notepad and pencil in now Hyunjin's back pocket. "Why does she use a notepad?"

Little Hyunjin squirmed in Chaeyeon's arms. Chaeyeon tucked away a stray piece of hair on the child's forehead and smiled sadly. "Hyunjin's autistic, actually."

"Oh." Things took a quick turn.

"She was born prematurely and weighted only 2 kilograms at birth. The doctors said it wouldn't really affect her health but months later, we found out that she had developed autism and that she needed medical help. I guess you could say she developed a little later than most kids."

"Home, go," Hyunjin spoke again from the crook of Chaeyeon's neck. The said woman patted her back reassuringly. "We're going soon enough, baby."

"The notepad is just because she has trouble communicating with people. It's not really a good idea since she can't write very well yet but it's the next best thing and the doctors asked her to try it. Her mom wants it too."

Yoohyeon felt a rushing empathy for the child. Somehow the fact itself made Hyunjin more special, she thought. "Well, if she needs anything, tell her mom I'm always willing to help. Hyunjin's a sweet kid."

"Thank you, Chairman Kim but really, her mom's probably going to decline. She's kind of hard headed," Chaeyeon said genuinely. Hyunjin dozed off quietly in her arms (how, with all the caffeine, Yoohyeon doesn't even know). "Now, let's get you home, little athlete. Thank you, again, Chairman Kim!"

Yoohyeon could only smile at the sleepy wave Hyunjin gave her from Chaeyeon's shoulder on the way out.

                                  *******

vsco bitch: aight now listen up lil shits

milf bank: ah shit here we go again

pan: your ' sksksksk'ness called?

vsco bitch: i hate u both

vsco bitch: anyways im bringing my gf tonight

vsco bitch: y'all better not be embarassing me or shit

milf bank: lmao try us bitch

pan: try us bitch (2)

vsco bitch: why am i still friends with u two

pan: who's sooyoung's hag ass bringing this time

milf bank: excuse me

milf bank: you've been 40 since u were 10 stfu

milf bank: a friend <3

pan: "a friend <3"

milf bank: your single ass could never

milf bank: chae's been in my bathroom for an hour now

milf bank: i forgot to tell her i ran out of toilet paper lol

vsco bitch: bitch-

vsco bitch: i will dip your greasy ass face in a pile of shit

milf bank: dem calm them cranky tits

vsco bitch: MY TITS ARE CALM

pan: bitchass is sex deprived lmaoo

vsco bitch: how to be friendless

The company party wasn't a big deal. Well, atleast to Yoohyeon. Some people liked to wear Chanel scents and tailored suits to those events and prepare lines for a good kiss up to so called corporate gurus but God forbid Yoohyeon would choose a Fresh Off The Boat marathon over a shitty fancy ass gathering anyday.

Maybe she was just raised up that way, maybe it was her finally growing out of all the wealth and glory shit-Yoohyeon grew tired of her own life soon enough. Like a bystander in her own play, watching idly as it all proceeded without her. Like an outsider within her own game.

The bustling of the hall did nothing better for her. Yoohyeon had a hard time fitting in with those people, despite only being another one of them. The only problem was, she didn't want to be like them.

She watched the party progress in one corner of the hall, bored out of her mind. Sooyoung had been next to her the whole time before she got dragged away by "friend <3" towards the restrooms. And Chaeyoung was nowhere to be seen. The rest was history.

"Hello, Chairman Kim."

Great, now another headache. Yoohyeon sighed internally and turned around with the best smile she could plaster. "Hello."

And oh boy, she wasn't prepared for a surprise.

Jeon Seonwoo smiled down at her with the biggest grin possible, and Yoohyeon swore her blood stopped flowing for a second.

What the fuck is his ass doing here?

"I saw that you were alone so I decided to give you company."

"Of course," Yoohyeon replied without a hint of anxiety. Which was ironic, because her brain rolled a hundred gears at a time trying to remember anyone named Seonwoo in her thousands employeed company with over 5 branches across the country. As if.

"I'm from the marketing department, by the way," Seonwoo informed her. The marketing department, of all places.

"Ah, I see." Yoohyeon wanted to yeet. How the fuck does one act when the boyfriend of the girl you kissed last night tries to strike up a conversation with you?

"Why are you alone, Chairman? It's your party." Oh please, I know you ditched Minji on her birthday party to make out with that obnoxious thot 6 years ago.

"I'm a little tired, I guess," she lied through her teeth. Maybe yeah, she was tired of the dude's shit.

"I understand. Running a multinational corporation can be demanding. I absolutely look up to you for being so persistent."

Lucky for you, I don't bring personal grudges to my business or I would've fired your ass out of my company long ago if I'd known.

Personal grudges, because Yoohyeon remembered never being fond of the guy or anything associated with him. Seonwoo had always been a little too seedy for her liking, and pray to Virgin Mary's second child, but Yoohyeon's still remembered the time back in one of Bora's parties when he tried to woo her when he was still with Minji. More than 5 years later, Yoohyeon still felt the itching urge to dislocate one of his milk teeth.

"Ha, ha." Maybe if she pretended to be awkward, he'd leave her the fuck alone.

"The marketing managers are such a pain in the ass. That Chaeyeon girl especially keeps rambling about some shit like a clown."

Scratch that, she NEEDED to separate his head from his body.

"Chaeyeon's the nicest and the most competent manager I've had to date. What do you mean?" The fact that the big bag of seed didn't even recognise her after all those years made her want to commit to her deeds more.

Seonwoo's phone rang aloud just then, succesfully saving his ass from a free dental transplant from his boss. Yoohyeon sighed internally, relieved to be getting rid of him finally.

"What the fuck?" was all he said before his expression soured.

Oh, for a fist to wipe out his front row of teeth.

"Fuck you, honestly," he said before hanging up.

Yoohyeon rolled her eyes. God, please just leave. Seonwoo turned to her with an apologetic smile (not). "I'm sorry to cut this conversation short but something urgent came up. Please excuse me."

"Sure," she internally heaved a sigh. Men were generally not a pleasant part of her life but Seonwoo? Yoohyeon just wanted him to fuck off as soon as he possibly could. Not only because of her personal distaste for the guy, but also for more reasons that Yoohyeon could not really bring herself to elaborate as of now. Deep wounds remained opened and unhealed.

The party was boring. Yoohyeon even regretted giving her consent to the organisers. People came and went, it was her status and power that they came for, and Yoohyeon was well aware of that. She would've easily chosen over that sick lifestyle anyday, if she even had a choice that is.

Her thought train was disrupted when the beginning notes of Illuminati Confirmed began drifting from her pocket (Sooyoung had her phone for FIVE minutes). She sighed and picked it up, only to hear Chaeyoung's demonic screeching ring across her drums.

"YOOH, YOU NEED TO HELP US."

Yoohyeon flinched about a metre away from her phone. "Oh my god, what is wrong with you?"

"ME AND JENNIE WENT TO THIS BATHROOM STALL TOGETHER AND SOMEONE LOCKED US FROM OUTSIDE,  HELP," Chaeyoung continued screaming.

"Why were you two in a stall together-" Yoohyeon palmed her forehead and signed. "You know what, never mind, just- have you tried calling Sooyoung?"

"I HAVE, BITCH IS IGNORING MY CALLS."

She started walking to the exit of the hall with the phone still in her hand. "Alright, which restroom is it?"

"THE ONE NEAR THE GALLERY, HURRY!"

That was pretty much how Yoohyeon found herself in the passageway connecting the gallery and the main hall. Apparently, she was not familiar with the building of the company she owned. Yoohyeon cursed herself seeing the same  picture of her late father on the wall near hall. AGAIN. She grumbled under her breath and took another turn.

And God bless her chaos fuelled ass, it led her to the "RESTROOM" sign hung around the corner and Yoohyeon could almost cry. Her heels clanked loudly against the marble floor as her feet carried her towards it hurriedly. Upon reaching the handle, she flung the door open.

"Chae? You there?" She called out.

"Who?"

Yoohyeon retreated a little. "Oh, I'm sorry-"

Oh.

"Yoohyeon?" Minji turned around.

Something curled inside her gut.

"Minji, hi..." She willed herself to say. And before her mind could black out, the first thought that came to her mind was-Minji looked like a mess.

"Hey," the older woman sniffed a little, discarding a tissue to a nearby bin.

"Are you- Are you okay?" Yoohyeon asked carefully.

There was a slight lull before her answer. "No."

Albeit a little taken back by the bluntness, Yoohyeon asked slowly again,"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Minji inhaled in and out before running a hand through her hair. She looked up from the floor below them, directly making eye contact with the woman before her and for a brief while, it was as if they were back to their versions of themselves half a decade ago.

Oh and how things have fallen apart since then.

Maybe if I hadn't been such an asshole, Yoohyeon concluded sadly.

"Please just take me home."

"Okay."

                                     ********

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me anything?"

Silence drifted. It continued pouring outside, tiny droplets racing down the windshields in an angsty fashion. Suddenly, the air from the aircon felt too cold and too loud for the silence.

"I'm fine," was all Minji said before unlocking her side of the door. Loud patters of droplets on the pavement outside deafened the silence, taking over the lull as if preventing the two women from connecting any further. Like the common string of communication was  snapping from both sides.

Yoohyeon was only ever scared of the last part.

And at that moment, she thought, would it be so selfish of her again to want Minji in her life still?

"It's Seonwoo, isn't it?" She asked begrudgingly.

"Thanks for the ride, Yoohyeon."

Watching Minji's silhouette disappear had never been more hurtful, even more so than the last time Yoohyeon left. It was a blurry sight in the night, not because of the rain or her tears but because of the ache rooted deep inside Yoohyeon's heart that simply refused to let go.

It was the most horrible sensation she'd felt. And she's had a rough life.

It still ached dull in her chest after about a month later.

Work was demanding, and Yoohyeon could not find a better excuse for herself to emerge in it, not allowing any of her shitty feelings to get in the way of her business. She still kept in touch with Sooyoung and Chaeyoung back in Seoul, despite the distance and their own busy lives the trio couldn't find a way to break themselves apart.

Which was why Yoohyeon was currently driving her way to Seoul after work to attend Sooyoung's dance studio opening. The latter had kind of gotten big in her own realm and even landed herself big contracts from big names, which Yoohyeon was absolutely happy for, if not for how lost she felt in the crowd.

Sooyoung had her 3rd studio opened this time, and it was a party. Of course. Well, not exactly a party but more of a get together with friends and acquaintances, as per Sooyoung herself announced. Dozens of dance people with their dance friends taking excitedly about dance stuff and god forbid, Yoohyeon stuck out like a sore thumb in her work clothes. The good thing? She wasn't the only one.

"I wanna go home." Chaeyoung leaned her whole weight against the adjacent wall.

"I second that," Yoohyeon swirled her solo cup in her hand. Really, Sooyoung? A high school setting? It just made her feel like a hag amongst other hags.

"I'm sorry I'm making you guys go through this," Sooyoung looked genuinely sorry. "You can go home if you're feeling uncomfortable. I won't mind."

Both Yoohyeon and Chaeyoung looked at each other and then to Sooyoung who looked like she was standing trial for a crime she hadn't commited.

"Nah, we're okay," they answered in unison.

"I can't believe we lied." Chaeyoung aggressively downed her orange juice. Yoohyeon especially told her not to drink since the restroom fiasco (that a janitor thankfully gave an end to after Yoohyeon forgot to go back). Girlie downed 2 bottles of vodka that she sneaked in that night and Chaeyoung had the tolerance of a 27 month old.

"Well, we wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, do we? Unless you want her to start acting dramatic afterwards."

"God, please no," Chaeyoung replied, eyeing the huddle of dancers Sooyoung was talking to. "She's in her element."

"She is," Yoohyeon answered, eyeing the same.

A loud fleshy grumble followed soon just then. Yoohyeon gave Chaeyoung a "really?" look whilst the latter laughed dryly.

"I'm just going to be in the restroom," she said.

"Again? This is like your 4th time since we got here."

"Even my bladder is a disappointment, I know," was the last statement Chaeyoung made before disappearing into where the restrooms were.

And thus, Yoohyeon was left alone to be fed to the big bad dance predators. She grew bored once more, leaning against the wall behind her with the plastic cup I her hand. She must've looked like a loser definitely, she knew that and Yoohyeon wouldn't have thought twice about bolting had it not been for Sooyoung.

Goddamn dance people.

Yoohyeon took it back in almost a mili second, because God hated her and she's a sad loser in a party with a crowd she clearly doesn't belong to so the divine being decided to fuck around with her once more and placed Kim Bora right at the corner of the room in yet another huddle of dancers. Worst case, she was staring straight back at her.

She must've looked like a deer caught in the headlights because Yoohyeon averted her eyes quickly just as she made eye contact with the older woman. She prayed, oh god she prayed prayed Bora hadn't recognised her or walked over to where she was because who was she kidding? Yoohyeon looked and sounded like a loser at the moment and Bora just happened to be Minji's super glue stick platonic girlfriend.

"Hello, Yoohyeon."

"Hello, Bora." Oh my god.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Bora casually leaned against the wall next to her.

"Yeah." What is she going to do? Interrogate me? Embarass me in front of everyone for being an asshole? Wring my neck alive??

"I can't believe you're still the same after all these years." Bora actually smiled. Yoohyeon wondered if it was just another cover to knock off her front row of teeth.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused.

"I mean, you're still standing alone in a party?" Bora pointed out, amused.

"Right," Yoohyeon admitted, embarassed. She never had peace in any of Bora's college parties anyway.

"So I heard you're one of Sooyoung's friends?" Bora fiddled with the edge of her cup.

"Yeah, I didn't think we'd stick out this much, though," she admitted bashingly.

"I saw," Bora laughed a little. Yoohyeon wondered if the woman ever wanted to her nose.

"Minji's here, you know."

Yoohyeon whipped her neck in her direction so quick she almost suffered a whiplash. Bora noticed and laughed again. Except it was the windshield version this time.

"She is?"

"Yeah, you should go talk to her."

Yoohyeon frowned. Bora gave Minji's first boyfriend in highschool a nose bleed with a mop (yes, a mop mop) for being shitty to her so she wondered, why was she being so nice to her?

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She couldn't help it.

"Minji told me everything, you know," Bora began, swirling the disgusting liquid in her cup. "And Sooyoung's kind of my direct junior so we're together at work a lot."

"Oh."

She's going to punch you now.

"I was really mad at first, to be honest." Bora turned to look at her. Yoohyeon couldn't look at her after that statement. "I thought you were a really shitty person for leaving without an explanation and Minji- she took it the hardest, you know? It was like her support system collapsed out of nowhere and she was really, really hurt you left her in the dark without a word. It was just....unfair."

Please just punch me now.

"But I realised afterwards that I can't really blame you, you had your own reasons to leave. Although a little explanation would've made you a less horrible person," Bora paused to place her cup on the table nearby.

"I actually want to punch you right now."

Please, if only I could do that to myself.

"But I can't do that." Yoohyeon turned to look at her, surprised. "You were my friend, Yoohyeon. Horrible or not. And you were actually a good friend when you were around so I'd be an asshole if I embarassed you here in front of everyone tonight."

Yoohyeon's face burned with shame.

"Point is," Bora continued. "Minji's having a hard time right now. If you're genuinely sorry, go be there for her. Make yourself someone she can lean on again."

                                   *******

The lot outside was dead quiet despite all the noise inside the building. Yoohyeon loitered ungracefully like a fool near the LP store in the adjacent building. Bora simply said Minji was "out in the parking lot". Turned out, her dumbass forgot to ask which part of "out in the parking lot."

Fantastic, she thought as she took a sip of the boba she bought approximately 10 minutes ago from the boba place nearby. Yoohyeon wanted to yeet by then, because milf hunting into the night was definitely NOT what she drove 3 hours to Seoul for.

"Hello."

"Bitch-"

She almost spilled the hot liquid on her hands as she flinched. Yoohyeon looked down to see a tiny figure holding out its hand to her. A familiar one, to be exact.

"Hyunjin?"

"Baba?" Hyunjin pointed to the cup in her hands. Yoohyeon looked at it briefly and back to the child.

"You want boba?" Hyunjin nodded. Just as she was about to kneel to match her level, Yoohyeon came to her senses. "Wait, wait, wait, why are you here alone? Where are your parents?"

"Mom suck," Hyunjin pouted. Yoohyeon didn't know if she should laugh or not.

"Okay, so where is she right now?"

"Me no more daughter," Hyunjin tutted as if she had a choice and Yoohyeon couldn't help but chuckle at the child's antics. "Coffee no more for Hyuji says. Stupid cow."

"Is that why you're asking for boba?" Yoohyeon asked, still very amused with the child.

"Mm hm. She-"

"Hyunjin? Kim Hyunjin!!"

Yoohyeon didn't have to guess twice to know that it was Hyunjin's mother that had just called, seeing as how the child immediately hid behind her legs.

She just wasn't prepared for a shocker.

"Thank God, I've been looking everywhere-" Minji stoped dead in her tracks seeing her. Yoohyeon shifted her gaze to the ground and awkwardly cleared her throat.

"Hyunjin, your mom's here," she tried to gently pry the child away from her legs.

However, Hyunjin only mumbled incoherently and clung tighter to her. Minji noticed this and crouched down to her level. "Come on, let's go home."

"You go," the child waved her mother away. The said woman let out a deep sigh and tried once more." Mommy's tired, Hyunjinnie. Let's go home."

"You say no to coffee," Hyunjin said bitterly before suddenly grabbing Yoohyeon's free hand. The woman looked at her in surprise and before she could say anything, Hyunjin had already made up her mind. "Let's go, Yooyeon."

"Go where....?" The woman asked, confused as she let herself be dragged by the child to god knows where.

"To have fun with Hyuji."

Minji quietly followed behind. Yoohyeon heard a sigh and nothing else from her as the trio walked to wherever the child led them. Well, except for Hyunjin who was incoherently babbling some  Nirvana lyrics from the 90s. God, why does a even child know Nirvana lyrics-

"Cha cha!"

Turned out the god knows where was a little playground near the studio where Hyunjin immediately took claim of upon getting a glimpse.

It had been almost 15 minutes and Hyunjin had forgotten to give even an ounce of her attention to Yoohyeon as she busied herself talking to herself around the monkey bars. This led to the two adults being seated awkwardly on one of the benches nearby.

"She's having fun by herself, isn't she?" Yoohyeon broke apart the silence.

"She is. Hyunjin always knows how to." Minji smiled watching Hyunjin cosplay all characters of Peppa Pig by herself. "She's kind of special."

"Yeah, I noticed." Yoohyeon smiled too. The silence made her sentimental in ways that made her feel both empty and serene at the same time. She looked sideways to Minji, who seemed to be grinning ear to ear upon just watching her daughter chew on something at the distance (how she was alarmed at the sight, Yoohyeon did not know). Something about that motherly smile made her feel warm inside, in the most non weird way possible. It was the kind that she saw frequently back when they were still living together.

And Yoohyeon would never admit it out aloud, but she was in love.

Minji's eyes seemed to be filled with galaxies, and Yoohyeon was the one drowning in them. Time started and collapsed where they sat-the air both tensed and relaxed in the same loop as Yoohyeon felt her heart squeeze itself in its place.

How amazing it would've all been without the regrets.

Then, her eyes fell on her wrist.

"Wait, what happened to your wrist?" She asked, concerned.

"Oh, well," Minji pulled down her sleeve to hide the plaster on her wrist. "It was an accident."

Yoohyeon was not convinced. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Yoohyeon didn't push after that.

"Yoohyeon?" The older woman called.

"Yeah?"

"I'm moving to Tokyo with Hyunjin."

Yoohyeon almost suffered another whiplash turning her neck. Minji just sat there, staring straight ahead. Yoohyeon failed to catch the look of melancholy in her eyes.

"Wha- Why?" It came out shakier than she'd expected.

"I got an offer with the company's branch there. I thought it would be better for Hyunjin's treatment too. Maybe start a new life or something." Minji did not look at her.

Silence drifted. The winds blew quietly, minding about their own business as the two figures sat motionless in the middle of an unfolding tension. The only noises heard being that of Hyunjin's mindless spluttering in the background.

It persisted, the silence-condensing into a steady tension that both women were reluctant to address.

"What about Seonwoo?" Yoohyeon hated herself for derailing.

"We broke up again," Minji sighed. Yoohyeon fought the urge to say anything else. "It's exhausting, being with him."

"Then Hyunjin?" She didn't know if she should be relieved or not.

"We're already in trial for parental custody. I guess you could say I don't really want Hyunjin around him."

"Oh." Yoohyeon found it hard to contain her emotions. Minji never looked at her in the eye. It was beginning to feel like the night in her condo all over again.

"The night I dropped you off- was it because of, you know?"

"I told him I wanted to go home because I wasn't feeling well. He got mad and started yelling at me for no reason. We kind of had a rough fight." Minji looked void, an endless black hole that simply swallowed however pain it felt without a trace-leaving nothing but an empty shell to dwell upon. And Yoohyeon hated it, every part of it. She missed when she used to see Minji actually smile, when things were how the way they were.

It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Why was the world so fucking unfair?

"I'm sorry." She felt the need to say it.

There was an underlying meaning to it that both women understood, and it explained the silence as neither willed themselves to go past the pain it caused them both.

"I know," Minji replied.

"I never intended to hurt you, I swear. There was just so much on my plate back then, you know? I just- I don't even have an excuse this time." The familiar clench in her chest felt painful, and it choked the air out of her lungs.

"I love you."

"That's funny," Minji laughed dryly. She visibly swallowed, as if bearing the weight of her own words. "Because I've been trying to say that to you for years."

Yoohyeon never cried harder after that.

Her tears stung. God, they stung and how it all just hurt, it hurt so much. And Yoohyeon would never forgive herself for fucking up.

All those years spent apart without a trace of Minji in her life, the storms weathered without knowing when it would all end-all of them crumbling down in the form of her trembling shoulders and endless, endless stream of tears that equalised the intensity of the ache in her chest.

"I'm sorry too." Minji's lips trembled too. "I'm so, so sorry....."

It was unfair. All of it.

Yoohyeon knew she would never forgive herself that night the moment she witnessed a waving Hyunjin in the arms of a still trembling Minji disappear from her sight into the night.

Away from her life.

Minji gave her a verbal confirmation.

i got your no from bora thru sooyoung

my wrist,,,,it wasn't an accident

seonwoo did it

Yoohyeon cried in front of the COEX until the cops knocked on her window.

                                     ********

"God, fucking finally."

Yoohyeon let out a deep sigh and stretched. Her main office up in the sky of the 15 floored building seemed a lot more quieter than it usually was. Maybe it was the way her life had been progressing uneventfully well these days, or just the simple thought of it.

"You're such a picky ass business partner. I wonder why I even do business with you sometimes," Handong tched.

"Excuse you, you were the one complaining about one of the directors having a flat ass." Yoohyeon shrugged on her coat.

"Flat asses don't deserve rights." The older woman stood up and prepared to leave.

"I am so glad we never got together." Yoohyeon gently closed the door to her office and proceeded towards the elevators alongside Handong.

"Please, you have no idea." The older woman snorted.

The duo clambered down the numerous floors patiently, Handong occasionally jabbing Yoohyeon with reamarks that the younger woman would just roll her eyes upon. Soon enough, they made it down to the parking lot where they eventually separated ways.

"See you Monday, then?" Yoohyeon said, entering her car.

"If you even survive that long, that is."

They drove away separately after that. Yoohyeon drummed her fingers against the steering wheel, along to one the 1975 track playing in the background. Seoul was nice, even nicer now that she lived in it and although her home and her business were still miles away from where she was, it still all felt the same to Yoohyeon. Home.

Buildings swept past quickly as she flew past the city's streets. Structure after structure, each passing one making her more and more nervous than she already was.

It was Janaury. And her heart was frozen.

-3 years ago

"I can't do this with you right now," Minji ran a hand through her hair.

"Why not?" Yoohyeon was tired of it all, going after someone she just could not have.

Yet there she was, feeling remorseful and played at the same time.

"I'm a mess, Yooh . You don't want me."

The mention of the old nickname gave her an ache that spread all over system.

"I'd always want you anyday."

And they never stopped crying, both of them.

"Ha," Minji remarked dryly, harshly wiping away her tears.

"I'm serious."

"Listen," Minji took a deep breath. "I just- I need time for myself, okay? I need to get away from things for a while. Everything's been so.....messed up. I just don't think I can do this right now."

"Then, I'll wait." Her words came out more determined than expected. "I'll wait for you."

"Yoohyeon, you don't even know if I'll ever come back."

"I can take a risk, can I?" Yoohyeon looked at her in the eye.

For the last time.

"I'll trust you this time."

It was Janaury. And her heart was frozen.

Pre February winter was a bite in the spine. Yoohyeon pulled her coat closer to her body, silently witnessing officials and people alike walk hastily across the terminal.

Contrary to her calm demeanor, her nerves scratched from inside. It was the moment, finally, and Yoohyeon felt like her heart would jump out her throat any minute. Her hands shook inside her pockets. The first stream of people exited past. Then, the second and the third.

"Yooyeon!"

It was all it took for the said woman to grin from ear to ear . Hyunjin's high pitched voice rang across the reception no sooner after tackling her into a hug.

"It's so good to see you again," Yoohyeon whispered.

"Me too," the now 8 year old said into her hair.

Then, she came right after. Yoohyeon had barely detached herself from Hyunjin before Minji tackled her, squeezing her into the tightest hug she was ever met with.

Soft sniffles followed soon. All the warmth and pain and yearning that followed and pended over the years poured out as they cried endlessly in each other's arms.

And oh, how warm Minji felt in her arms.

It was all Yoohyeon felt in between her tears.

"Hyunjin's doing better," Yoohyeon remarked.

"She's been receiving therapies and stuff ever since we moved to Tokyo." Minji laid her head against Yoohyeon's. "I'm really glad she's taking it well."

Sounds of waves crashing on the white sand drifted across the place, seagulls quaking in the sunset as the two women lazily watched Hyunjin play with the sand. The biting winter air still blew, and Minji snuggled closer to the younger woman as Yoohyeon yelled at Hyunjin to not go near the water.

"I missed you so much," she simply said from the younger's shoulder.

"And I missed you too." Yoohyeon silently thanked Hyunjin for asking them to drive to the beach.

"I'm sorry for making you wait," Minji apologized.

"I told I'd wait, didn't I?" You're here, and that's all it matters."

It was the perfect still-the sounds of the beach serenading the sunset and Hyunjin's tiny giggles all melting into one perfect heaven that Yoohyeon's heart yearned for all those years.

Most importantly, Minji was there with her.

"Everything will be alright from now on," she assured, lacing Minji's hands in hers. The sun dipped low in the horizon.

"Yooh?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you too."

Yoohyeon couldn't help her smile and kissed her instead.

It was January. And her heart was frozen.

Until Minji thawed it.