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Colin’s first reaction to what Bradley dubbed his Epic Beard of Awesomeness™ (which everyone else called The Dread Pirate Fuzz or What The Hell Is He Thinking by turns) had been to snort Pepsi through his nose like a hysterical five-year-old (which he didn’t recommend—that hurts) and laugh until he cried. Being the drama queen he so obviously was, Bradley had naturally taken this as a personal slight and made a good show of his displeasure by storming past Colin (who’d practically collapsed against the doorway of his flat under the weight of his hilarity), fetching a beer from the fridge, plopping down on the sofa, and turning up the telly loud enough to drown out Colin’s laughter with the sound of the Doctor thwarting another Dalek invasion. He kept darting indignant looks in Colin’s direction out of the corner of his eye. The boy knew how to sulk. And Colin fell for it. Every. Damn. Time.
At some point during that first week of filming, Colin was convinced that the producers gave into desperation and developed some sort of immunization against the horrors of The Bradley James Pout of Doom (likely related to The Care Bear Stare). Naturally, because he was just that unlucky, everyone had probably rushed to receive said immunization while Colin had been abandoned to his co-star’s charms and bad French television. So, yeah. No immunization for him.
With the full force of those wide, pleading blue eyes set on him, Colin was utterly without resistance. Unsurprisingly, that was what turned a minor dilemma into a full-blown angstfest, complete with threats from Angel and Katie and actual tears from more than one make-up artist. Had he been able to hold his ground and explain to Bradley how utterly ridiculous he looked right off the bat, maybe the situation could have been cleared up with very little fuss that same day (that is, Colin might have managed to bribe Bradley with sex or Buffy or both in exchange for a shave). But, well. The battle was lost the moment Bradley’s pink lips took on that puffy, sullen jut and... Ahem. Yes.
After tackling Bradley to the floor and frantically frotting against him all the while nipping (only with annoyance, really!) at the scruff on his face, Bradley had become convinced that the power of his Epic Beard of Awesomeness™ compelled Colin to whole new levels of lust. No amount of denial or pleading could persuade him to believe otherwise.
It was a nightmare.
Not only did the facial hair itch and make Colin want to sneeze when they kissed, but he was also developing rashes in unspeakable places. The last time he’d gone to the doctor, he’d even had to ask for a special cream to help with the irritation—and hadn't that been a joy to explain!
“You like it,” Bradley would scoff anytime Colin complained. “Don’t lie.”
Following two months of perpetual frustration, Colin threw his hands up in the air and realized he’d have to pull out his trump card. Desperate times, desperate measures, yada yada. His pride was a small price to pay to have his beautiful, clean-shaven Bradley back. Begone scruffy pirate guy. Begone.
“You win,” Colin said.
“Huh?” Bradley said.
“I’m willing to negotiate.”
Bradley’s expression scrunched up in that absurdly cute way it always did when he was confused. “Negotiate?”
“Yes,” Colin nodded curtly. “If you shave off your beard, I’ll do that thing.”
Bradley’s eyes went wide and glossy. And Colin knew he’d won.
An hour later found Colin with his knees hooked over Bradley’s shoulders and a blissfully smooth cheek rubbing against they both shivered and moaned toward completion. “Say it again,” Bradley was whispering in his ear. “Say it again.”
So Colin did, feeling happy and ridiculous and a little silly for having been so reluctant to say it before, especially since it had always been true: “I love you, you great idiot,” he laughed, “I love you!”
Several (delightfully sweaty) hours after that, Colin was propped up on one elbow and running his fingers down Bradley’s soft cheek with a small frown.
Bradley caught his fingers with a smirk. “I told you that you liked the beard,” Bradley said, smug. “You miss it don’t you?”
“Shut up,” Colin huffed, chagrined.