Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I felt a pulling force throughout my body. The ground under me was cold and everything around me was dark. I felt scared as I heard metal parts hitting each other vigorously. I knew I was moving, but I didn’t know where to. I didn’t know where I was, but I knew I was trapped. I tried to move around, I tried to stand up, but the pressure didn’t let me. I kept falling back. I felt metal bars under my finger tips replacing the walls and some kind of barrel like items hitting my back as I was inspecting the place. It felt like a cage at first, but my eyes weren’t helping me and it did make me less confident about my findings.

I felt a loud crashing sound as I stopped moving along with the cage. It was quiet for some time before some kind of doors opened up above me. I heard voices, but I couldn’t see anything as my eyes took longer to adjust to the sudden brightness falling up on me.

“It’s a girl!” I heard a male’s voice coming from above followed by a few gasps. I felt a loud thump and a boy jumped down right next to me. As my vision started to come back properly a skinny looking blonde boy stood in front of me with a confused expression. “Hey!” He greeted me and held out a hand to help me up. I pushed his hand away and stood up on my own.

“Where am I?” I asked confused but my voice sounded angrier then I wanted to let it.

“We will explain everything in time, but it’s quite a long story, so let’s get out of here first.” He replied and held his hand out again. I looked up and saw a bunch of teenage boys looking at me like I was the newest attraction in a circus. Like a baby lamb in the zoo. It didn’t make me feel comfortable at all, therefore I decided to decline his help again. I stood up on one of the barrels to get in eye level with the ground. I saw a wide green area in front of me. I placed my hands on the edge of the concrete that circled around the cage and pushed myself up to get out of it. The boys standing in front of me made space for me to get out before even asking them to do so. I saw the blond guy grabbing one of the other boys’ hands and being pulled up to the ground. “Well, that’s a way to do it too.” He said chuckling happily.

“Please do explain.” I asked as I looked around and I saw nothing but trees, wooden buildings of some sort, animals kept closed off behind a fence, and huge concrete walls all around the place.

“It’s called the Glade.” He said simply as if I was supposed to understand.

“The what?” I asked back looking around.

“The Glade.” He repeated and it annoyed me.

“Well, guess what, I understood the first time as well. I simply wanted a better explanation of what on earth the Glade is. But I don’t seem to be understood.” I explained frowning.

“Okay…” He said pausing for a second taking a long breath. “the Glade is where we live. It’s basically our home. We grow our food here, we breed our animals, we build our buildings, we all have a job to participate in.” He explained, but it didn’t seem to get processed by my brain just yet.

“And why on earth are you all here? Why on earth am I even here?” I asked still confused. A tall darker skinned guy walked up to me. He stood firmly and seriously. He had the aura of a leader as he towered over me.

“Come with me.” He said and started walking away without waiting for me. I had no choice but to follow him as my head was filled with questions.

“I want answers.” I said and stopped walking after him. “You all look at me like I’m some kind of a freak. I have no idea where I am, I see nothing but boys not even one girl is present and to be honest I can not even remember a single memory of mine so excuse me if you think I’m being too much, but I’m going to stuck on this same place if needed the whole day until someone gives me an actual explanation of what the hell is going on.” I ranted in confusion. I wasn’t angry or upset, I just felt like I was missing something. Better to say everything as I couldn’t recall anything from my name, my age, people I knew, where I was born, not even minor trivial things.

The boy turned around and looked me in the eye.

“You will be told everything you need to know.” He said briefly and started walking away.

“That’s not good enough.” I stated and crossed my arm in front of my chest. The way he turned back around was scary. He had a frightening look on his face and his eyes narrowed when he looked straight into my eyes. I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw the blonde boy stand next to me.

“Leave it to me Alby, I will take care of the greenie.” He said with a gentle smile appearing on his face. For some reason his presence made me feel a bit more at ease but my guards were still up and they didn’t plan to come down any time soon.

The guy, called Alby nodded as an acknowledgement of the blonde boy’s offer and walked away without a second glance. I looked up at the happy boy and was offered a hand once again.

“I’m Newt.” He said and the smile was still spread across his face. I shook his hand, but I couldn’t give him the answer he expected.

“Well, I can’t even remember my name!” I shrugged my shoulders and let go of his hand.

“Don’t you worry, it will come back in time.” He said reassuring.

“Who was that guy before?” I asked curiously.

“His name is Alby. He is the leader of the Glade. He can be a bit grumpy sometimes, don’t take it personally. Although he probably isn’t really happy with you, because you didn’t behave as respectfully as he expects people to.” He explained.

“Well I’m sorry I wasn’t given a list of who to respect with all the information I have flooding in my head.” I shook my head in disbelief. “It’s not like I came here knowing who is who, therefore his behaviour is completely unnecessary.” I shrugged and heard his quiet chuckles. I looked at him with a confused expression.

“Yeah, let’s just not say that in front of him.” He smiled and lead me around the Glade.

Chapter Text

Newt was showing me around the Glade slowly explaining each of the areas that mattered. We started off at the Homestead. He explained they mostly slept in the hammocks hanging from the wooden ceiling providing a roof, but they did have some private rooms built where the privileged people were sleeping such as the Keepers or in other worlds leaders and the injured ones if there have been any. He also said that as I was the only girl I will be given a room for myself. I felt a bit relieved, but I didn’t want to seem like I wanted special treatment.

Next up we walked to the Med hut, where 2 boys were working on another who had a long cut going across his arm. They didn’t even realise our presence as they worked on cleaning the injured boy’s wounds. Newt explained to me that everyone has a job around the Glade and I would also be given one, however first they would let me try myself in each to decide which one I felt most comfortable with. Through out the whole tour I just kept humming and nodding in agreement to show that I was listening.

We went to check on the Slicers next but I quickly turned around and walked off leaving Newt behind. He chuckled at my run away attempt and lead me the the Builders. I just saw a bunch of guys working on some kind of a wooden model that I couldn’t recognise, but I didn’t feel comfortable standing around any longer. A guy with weird looking eyebrows walked up to us and looked up and down on me with disgust clearly displayed on his face.

“What is this?” He asked as if I wasn’t even a human being.

“This?” I asked back. He nodded. “This is called a girl. I’m not a subject of some kind so if you would like to call me something, then ‘she’ would be the correct word.” I replied with anger building up in my body.

“Nah, I’m good. I’m not interested in taking you into account as any more than 'this’.” He shrugged and walked off.

“Is everyone annoying here or I’m just getting the best out of people?” I turned to Newt who just chuckled at me.

“Slim it girl, they will soon warm up to you.” He kept chuckling.

“Yeah, looks like it.” I said sarcastically and followed him to our next station.

Newt showed me the Council Hall, and then the Fields where he instructed some of the guys of the work they were doing. Then we continued to the wall where he explained to me briefly about all the names they had to carve in and how I would be also a part of it soon. We walked over to our next and last part, the Kitchen.

We stood in front of the kitchen counter or food shack as he called it. As I felt the smell of food coming out, my stomach rumbled. Newt laughed at the hunger my body very clearly reminded us of, and asked the dark skinned boy standing behind the counter to give us some food he had left from breakfast. Newt took two plates and lead me to one of the tables.

I kept looking towards the opening of the concrete walls while I forgot to focus on my food. I was wondering what could have been behind it and I felt like walking in there. But it seemed for some reason no-one went in or came out. It felt strange. I put another piece of bread into my mouth, but I didn’t take my eyes of the massive walls surrounding the Glade.

“Why are you looking that way?” He asked pulling me out of my daze.

“I want to see what’s behind it.” I stated still keeping my eyes on the entrance.

“No!” He said firmly. I looked at him not understanding the situation. “Let me clear something up for you, before you even start doing anything around here. We have three rules you have to keep. Breaking them comes with very serious consequences. First of all Never go outside the Glade, unless you’re a Runner. Only Runners know how to, when to and what to do when it comes to the area behind the walls. Secondly Never hurt another Glader. We have to trust each other and if you attack someone, that trust is lost. Not just between you, but it could affect the rest of the group. And last but not least, Everyone does their part. No slacking is accepted. Are we clear on the rules?” I looked at him still trying to process the situation. I kind of agreed with some of the things he said, but the the place behind the walls was way too inviting to explore.

“I mean sure, partly.” I replied and didn’t take my eyes off the concrete walls.

“Bloody hell, I have a feeling you are going to get yourself killed.” He said and I chuckled at him.

“By what?” I asked and his face suddenly turned serious.

“I’m not sure I should be talking about that to a greenie.” He shook his head.

“Well you already started it, so don’t back off now.” I pushed him. I wanted to know more. As much as it was possible to be honest.

“Behind those desirable walls of yours, there are monster-like beings, called Grievers. They are dangerous creatures with spikes and rods coming our of their backs. They are about five times the size of us and they attack you at any time if you are on their way. If you are stung by one of them, basically you are dead meat walking. That is why it’s very dangerous to go behind the walls if you are not a runner. Even for them, they risk their lives every day when they go in there.” He explained and I frowned at the picture that I imagined. It didn’t feel like reality. I placed my chin into my palm and focused on the opening.

“What if someone unauthorised goes in there?” I continued questioning him.

“Don’t even think about it.” He warned me.

“But what if?” I pushed and he sighed at my stubbornness.

“Let’s say that person survives for having such luck, then the person has to be punished for breaking the rules. I did mention rule number one before. Never go outside the Glade, unless you’re a Runner.” He reminded me again. “The consequences could wary. You could be thrown in to the pit, it’s like a prison cell of some kind we built or even sent back out there for a whole night. And believe me, no-one ever survived a night in there.” I looked at him as if he was telling me the most interesting story I’ve ever heard. And to be fair he was.

“I can’t promise anything.” I stated calmly and he just sighed in disagreement shaking his head.

Chapter Text

After Newt showed me around the Glade, he lead me to my room. It was small with only a wooden chest of drawers and a mattress in it with a pillow and blanket. There was also a bag next to it that I took to my lap as I sat down on the mattress and looked into it. There were a few cloths and shoes in it and they looked to be about my size.

“All of us got a bag with us when we arrived. It contains all the necessity we need.” He explained.

“Who sent us?” I asked. “And why?”

“We don’t know that. I wish we did though.” His tone saddened. “We tried to find out, but haven’t gotten a lead yet.”

I stood up, hook my arm in his and walked out.

“We will find out.” I reassured him. He looked at me in disbelief and started laughing.

“You know, it should be the other way around. As in me comforting you. You are the newbie after all.” He chuckled.

“Oh well, I’m one of a kind.” I said and returned the smile. “By the way how many names are you planning on giving to me?” I disputed the names I was being called on, but he just laughed at me.

We started walking back to the kitchen to grab something to eat. As I was pulling Newt along I saw two guys running through the open walls. One was a light skinned tall guy with blond hair, while the other was an asian boy with almost perfectly styled black hair and muscled body. They ran past us not even looking anywhere and disappeared in the building Newt called the Map Room before.

We went to Frypan as Newt called him, to get some food that I could not recognise and sat down at one of the tables Alby was eating at. He looked up for a second, but then decided to ignore us and continued eating. As we were talking the asian boy who ran past us earlier took a seat in front of me.

“You are a girl.” He stated the obvious.

“How did you realise it? You must be very smart.” I rolled my eyes and looked back at Newt who was smirking next to me. “What?” I asked. He just shook his head and kept stuffing his mouth.

“Slim it, girl. I simply meant I expected a boy instead of a weakling.” My eyes snapped open and my lips parted in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” I asked. “Did you just try to belittle me for being a girl?” I asked and held onto my fork so strongly, my hand started losing circulation. “Who on earth do you think you are? Do you think you are better just because you are a boy? Well, darling you are very much mistaken. I don’t know where you got your manners from, but I’m not going to let you look down on me, just because I’m a girl.” I stood up in the middle of my monologue.

“Can you just sit down shuck-face? No-one wants to know your problems.” He shook his head and took another bite of his food. “This is exactly why I said what I said. Girls are troublesome. They listen to their emotions, while boys go with their logic, therefore making better decisions.” I took a deep breath and sat down. I wanted to scratch his eyes out, but I stayed put.

“How do you put up with such an annoying person?” I turned towards Newt. He laughed at me and focused all his attention to me.

“Let me ask you something. Weren’t you the one who was on and on about what’s behind the walls today?” I nodded slowly as I didn’t understand what he wanted out of it. “If you want to be a runner and go behind the walls, unfortunately this annoying person” he pointed at the boy. “who most likely will decide your fate. He is the Keeper of the Runners.” He explained still chuckling as if it was the funniest thing he has heard.

“That sounds just like my luck.” I murmured while putting another bite of the unrecognisable food-like mass into my mouth.

“Oh, so you want to be a Runner? That’s the joke of the year!” He smirked.

“I wish I could wipe that annoying smirk of your face.” I hissed.

“You are really making her hate you.” Newt joined in.

“And why would I care about that?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“She is a newbie, don’t forget that. You were in her place once.” He stated trying to work his humane side, if he had any.

“That’s not true. I was never a girl.” His smirk appeared on his face again and I just wanted to punch him. “Your hands are getting white.” He looked at my grasp still holding the fork. I looked down and released the pressure. “Once again you couldn’t contain your emotions. And I’m not nagging you, but this is exactly what I was talking about. Girls are good and all, but not in this kind of environment. Why do you think we only have boys?” He asked with real curiosity in his voice.

“Maybe they realised they sent too many boys and they were being useless, so they decided to send a girl who can actually do better.” I grimaced. “I might be physically weaker, you never know, I haven’t tried anything here yet, but I have a very good mind and I won’t accept someone - who has not been around a girl for who knows how long - to judge me.” I shrugged.

“Okay guys, that’s enough for today.” Alby interrupted while standing up to take his plates back to Frypan.

Newt and I also stood up and picked our dishes up. We walked past the asian boy and I only had one thing to say.

“Pig-head.” I whispered.

“What did you just say?” He asked suddenly turning around.

“I didn’t say anything, you might have a hearing problem.” I smirked and walked off leaving the dumbfounded boy behind.

Newt and I went to the Lookout tree and sat down on the bottom of it. He stole a couple of bread like snacks from Frypan and gave some to me. It tasted sweet, nothing like bread, but I certainly liked it.

“First day and already making enemies, huh?” He asked and I just smirked. “Do you remember your name already?” He asked changing the subject.

“I remember something, but it’s not my name. I don’t know what that is.” I said frowning.

“Tell me, I might be able to help. We do dream about our pasts occasionally, we just don’t remember what’s actually true and what is part of our mind’s creation.” He explained.

“Well, it’s a word, but I’d say more like a name. It’s Minho.” I said and looked at him after he has stayed silent for a longer time.

“What did you just say?” He asked confused.

“I said Minho.” He still had a shocked expression and I actually thought I said something wrong. “What’s that, Newt?”

“Minho is the person you meet before. Keeper of the Runners.” My eyes widened at his explanation. “Do you actually remember him?” I shook my head.

“I don’t remember anything at all, only this word or name rather.” I said.

“Interesting.” He said while scratching the back of his neck. “Maybe we should talk to Minho about it. He might remember if he forces himself.” I shook my head immediately.

“Not a chance. I don’t want the egoistic pig-head to know I might had something to do with him before the Glade.” He chuckled at my response, but his confusion wasn’t as well hidden as he thought. I could still see it.

Chapter Text

The next morning, I woke up sweating and heaving. I didn’t remember my dream, but I had a horrible feeling inside of me. I threw my blankets away and held my head in between my hands. It was pulsing strongly. I squeezed my eyes and concentrated on the darkness to get rid of it quicker. Then as if nothing happened, it went away and just one word appeared in my mind. “Y/N” I whispered. I remembered my name and I felt at ease for finally remembering at least a tiny part of my life. I heard a gentle knock on the door.

“Come in!” I shouted. A short chunky boy opened the door and looked behind it shyly. “Can I help you?” I asked as he didn’t seem to want to talk or rather felt scared.

“Hi… I’m Chuck. I was told to take you to your first job today.” He said silently.

“Yeah? Good, I will get up in a second.” I replied while he closed the door behind himself. I changed my cloths and joined the little guy called Chuck.

“Where are we going?” I asked trying to start a conversation, but he was just looking down on the ground. “You aren’t much of a talker, are you?” I continued and he looked up at me.

“I just don’t easily get along with people.” He said and we kept walking in silence.

We stopped in front of the kitchen and Frypan greeted us.

“Morning slackers.”

“Morning.” I replied as Chuck left us to do his job. I looked around as we walked into the kitchen. Utensils were hanging off the walls and the counter was full of unrecognisable ingredients. I knew nothing about cooking. I just felt I would be a disaster, but I wasn’t the kind who gives up easily, so I gave it my all. Or at least I thought I would.

“First, please peel the potatoes.” He asked and gave me a knife, a wooden cutting board and a basket full of potatoes. I looked down at my hands and realised I had no idea what to do. I started cutting into the edge of the skin trying to cut it off, but the potato in my hand became smaller and smaller when only a small uneven ball like vegetable left of it. “What on earth is that?” He asked frowning.

“Peeled potato.” I replied trying to hold my laugh in.

“That?” He asked. “That has nothing to do with that. You wasted a whole potato for nothing.” He shook his head. “Okay let’s try something else. Here are some tomatoes. Cut them up into six equal parts.” He ordered and put a box of tomatoes next to me. I took my knife and started cutting them up. The liquid started splattering around, my cloths were stained, my hand and arms were full of tomato pieces and the already cut vegetable looked nothing like it did when I started.

“What on earth is that, you Shuck-face?” He shouted at me and I could barely hold my laughter anymore as the edge of my lip twitching proved that. He was very much annoyed, but then he took a deep breath and calmed himself down. “Fine, we will try again.” He looked around and gave me a bowl, full of white mass. “Do nothing, but stir it until I tell you to stop.” I nodded and did as I was told.

Everything went smoothly until I started getting enthusiastic and the whole bowl fell on the floor.

“Sorry.” I whispered.

“Enough!” He shouted and walked out of the kitchen. “Can someone take this disaster of a person out of my sight?” He shouted outside. Not long after he returned with a very curious Newt in his footsteps.

“What’s going on?” He asked but from the smirk on his face I knew he already suspected the answer.

“This girl is a complete mess. She can’t peel a potato or cut up a tomato. She can’t even stir for God’s sake. I do not need her to ruin my perfectly well organised kitchen.” He explained while huffing as he kept running out of breath.

“It’s okay, I will take her.” Newt said trying to hold his smile back. He took my arm and lead me out of the kitchen. We stopped in front of the entrance of it as Newt turned me towards himself. “I guess, you won’t be a cook then.” He laughed.

“I tried very hard though.” I looked at him with all my cuteness to make him believe me, but he could see through me.

“Honestly, are you going to ruin all the work just so you can become a Runner?” He asked with a know it all expression.

“Hey! That’s not what I did. I mean I really would like to try myself out as a Runner, but I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m just simply not skilled to be in the kitchen.” I explained while crossing my arms in front of my chest sulking.

“Fine, fine, I got you. But you are a girl though.” He said and I looked at him in disbelief.

“Don’t you start it too!” I hissed at him and he knew he had to stay quiet.

We started walking towards the Blood House, but halfway there I stopped and shook my head. Newt looked confused at my behaviour, but I just kept shaking my head.

“What is it?” He asked.

“I’m not going there.” I replied as I saw a pig trying to run away but the guy who was responsible for him ran after him, caught him off guard and cut his throat without even blinking. I started heaving and I held my hand in front of my mouth as I almost threw up. I ran to the closest tree and tried to organise my breathing and keep my stomach’s content inside.

“I guess that’s a no then.” He said. “Come with me.” He waved towards himself and we started walking towards the Field. “Hopefully you will be better at this.” He said with a smug grin still sitting on his face.

“You are enjoying this, aren’t you?” I asked returning the smile.

“I mean, I kind of do.” He said scratching the back of his neck. “It’s funny seeing you not being able to do anything. Minho might just be right in the end.” He stick his tongue out at me.

“You did not just say that!” I gasped in surprise. “That was harsh, don’t you think?” I asked.

“Harsh, but honest.” He stated calmly and put a shovel into my hand.

Chapter Text

Newt and I started shovelling at the Fields to put the seeds away and grow more vegetables and fruits. I had no idea what I was doing or if I was doing it right, but he didn’t seem to complain so I just continued.

I remembered how I woke up and I felt the urge to tell Newt that I had remembered my name. I wasn’t sure if it was the right time to bring it up, but I felt like letting it all out. Already felt tired of being called the greenie, green bean, newbie and who knows how many other names I had I didn’t know about.

“Oh Newt!” I called out to the Keeper who was working just a few inches away from me. I tapped his shoulder and he put his shovel down. I reached for his hand and shook it. “I’m Y/N.” I said happily.

“You remembered your name?” He asked with a big smile spreading across his face. “Nice.”

“Yeah, this morning I woke up to a headache and it just clicked in.” I explained.

“You are lucky. For some of us it took two or three days even to remember.” He smiled and continued shovelling.

“Maybe even my mind got tired of being called weird names and it forced itself to remember.” I shrugged my shoulders. As we were finishing our jobs and planted all the seeds in the ground, I saw the runners arriving from behind the walls. I followed their moves as they ran through the Glade and disappeared behind the Map Room’s doors. I sighed as I imagined myself being one of them.

We started walking towards the kitchen to grab something for dinner. I saw all the people already eating. The Builders, the Runners, the Slicers, the Mad-jacks, the Track-hoes and everyone had already took their places. We walked up to Frypan to get us some food, but he just glared at me. I felt a smile trying to find its way on my face, but I forced it down. I knew he was pissed off at me.

“What are you doing here? Are you trying to ruin my sacred place again?” He raised his voice and I shook my head, but accidentally started laughing. I couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“I’m sorry.” I said trying to act shyly, while Newt nudged my shoulder.

“She definitely isn’t.” He replied and took two plates. One for me and for himself. He lead us to the table we sat at yesterday. Alby, Minho and 2 other guys who I didn’t know were already sitting at the table.

“What was that about?” Alby asked. “I thought you would be in the kitchen today.” He stated.

“She was supposed to be.” Newt replied instead of me. “But she actually exhausted three jobs today already.” He explained.

“I will never ever be allowed to step foot behind the kitchen counter, that’s for sure.” I didn’t mind though. I just laughed it off.

“I thought you were a girl. They were supposed to be good in the kitchen.” Minho joined the conversation with a smug grin on his face, but I just ignored him and concentrated on Newt.

“And the best part was when we went to the Slicers after Frypan kicked her out of the kitchen. We didn’t even get to the Blood House, she almost threw up when she saw Winston cutting one of them pigs down.

"Ugh…” I replied. “It still turns my stomach though.” I said pulling a face.

“As a Track-hoe you were actually quite good though.” He said.

“I mean, who can not shovel the ground? That’s like basic knowledge.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Who can’t peel a shucking potato?” He came back at me.

“Hey, that was completely unnecessary.” I pushed on his shoulder jokingly.

“So you had a very eventful day then, greenie?” Alby asked between two bites.

“We could say that and my name is Y/N.” I replied with a happy grin on my face.

“Y/N.” He nodded. “Okay.” He nodded again. “Tomorrow is bonfire night, so let’s celebrate that you remembered your name.” He said and walked away. I leaned towards Newt and whispered to him.

“What night?” He just chuckled at me.

“Bonfire night.” He started, “We have it once a month. It’s kind of like a celebration, a welcoming party for the newbies.” I hummed in agreement.

We took our plates back to Frypan and walked out to the fresh air. I went to my room to get my pyjamas and take a shower. As I finished I went through my bag and found some other things such as hairbands, monthly supply for that week of the month, the sacred period, a hairbrush and a toothbrush. I could have wished for a mirror and such beauty stuff, but even finding some razors and blades made me feel better, cleaner. I was happy I got at least some of the items needed.

I wanted to talk to Newt a bit more so I went to his room, but I heard him talking so I decided to wait in front of his door.

“There is something I wanted to talk to you about.” He said to someone, but I only heard a humming sound and was unable to recognise him by the voice. “I talked to Y/N last night and even though she didn’t remember just like us, she did remember one thing.” He explained.

“What’s that?” I heard Minho’s curious voice.

“You.” He said simply.

“What do you mean?” Minho asked and I could imagine his confused expression just like mine when I talked to Newt.

“She doesn’t remember you as a person or your face for that matter. But she remembers your name.” He continued. “I wanted to talk to you if maybe you had some kind of dreams or nightmares that would explain why she remembers you.”

“I have no idea. It’s not like I’m dreaming about girls every night.” Newt chuckled at Minho’s answer.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” I started getting pissed off. I trusted Newt not to tell Minho about it, but he still did.

“You are a very gossipy person, aren’t you?” I asked opening the door in front of me. “I clearly asked you to keep it to yourself, didn’t I?” I questioned him while walking in without an invitation. “Still you couldn’t just keep a lock on your little mouth, could you?” I was very angry. Betraying my trust wasn’t a good start in the Glade.

“I just wanted to help. No-one here remembers a thing and the fact that you do, might actually be helpful in finding out why we are here.” He explained.

“My memories, my decisions.” I hissed through my teeth. “I will decide when and what I want to remember and I do not need your help especially when I very clearly asked you not to open your mouth about it. Is it so hard to keep your mouth shut?” I felt I came across harsher than I planned to. “Well it very well seems like it is.” I said and walked off without waiting for a reply.

Chapter Text

The next morning I woke up to the sun forcing its way through the door of my room. I looked up and Newt was standing there. I huffed in anger. 

“Have you not learned how to knock either?” I hissed and turned away.

“I knocked, but you didn’t answer.” He replied quietly.

“Then it means, you are not coming in.” I stated while still sulking.

“I just wanted to apologise.” He said and sat down on the chest of drawers next to my mattress. “I’m sorry for telling Minho, but I really just wanted to help. It didn’t even cross my mind that you would get angry about it.” He explained. “I feel genuinely sorry, Y/N.” I turned around and saw him looking down on the ground while playing with his hands.

“Ugh, fine.” I said and got out of bed. “It’s not like I can stay mad forever.” I said and started searching for cloths in my bag.

“So you accept my apology, right?” He asked with a big smile across his face. I nodded and continued to get some cloths out.

“Now get out, I want to change.” I said and he started blushing slightly. “Out! Now!” I said with a grin.

He took me to the Builders where I met Gally again. My first encounter with him wasn’t a good one therefore I was quite skeptical about staying with the Builders, but Newt reassured me that everything would be just fine.

It didn’t take long before Gally started nagging me and rushing me to cut the wood faster or to bind them together stronger. He had something to say about everything I did. I kept fidgeting at the table I was sitting at and started getting worked up about every little thing he said. As I was about to say something I would have regretted later on, one of his workers dropped a bunch of wood on my hand. I screamed in pain and tried to pull my arm out. For the second time successfully. It was pulsing and I had very limited movements in my wrist. Gally came up to me and hissed seeing my swollen wrist.

“Go to the Med-jacks.” He said simply and walked up to the boy who was at fault to take him for a lecture.

I walked up to the Med-hut and knocked on the door. I heard a quiet ‘come in’ and met a tall dark skinned boy who looked to be younger than me. “Hey Y/N, what’s up?” He asked and looked at my wrist I was holding onto. “Let me check on that.” He said and took some bandages off of the shelves. “Clint, can you bring a splint?” He asked the other guy while he took a seat in one of the chairs and waved me over to the mattress to sit down. “What happened?” He asked.

“I was with the builders today and one of them dropped a bunch of wooden logs on my arm.” I explained. I hissed in pain as he started moving my wrist around.

“To be honest, most of our patients are Slicers, but we get enough of the Builders and the Runners too, so I’m not surprised about anything.” He started. “Broken bones, dislocations, pulled muscles, cuts and a bunch of other injuries are a daily occurrence here.” As I was listening to him I didn’t even realise he finished bandaging my wrist. And he didn’t even need to use a splint.

I stayed at the Med-hut for the rest of the day and listened to stories about all the injuries. I saw a Slicer being treated for some cuts he had received at work and I helped the boys organise the medications on the shelves. I saw a small vial at the top shelf with a title written on it 'Serum’. I stood on my tip toes and took it off of the shelf.

“What is this?” I asked showing the vial to Jeff.

“It’s the antidote for the Griever’s stung.” He explained. “We only have limited amount so we have to be very careful with it.” He took the liquid out of my hand and placed it back on its place.

As we left the Med-hut for the day the campfire was already burning vigorously. They were playing some kind of a tune on kitchen utensils, metal and wooden boxes. Some of them were joking around, while others were just filling up their stomach. Gally was having a fight in some kind of a circle that everyone was cheering for. I sat down on a wooden log next to the fire and looked at the people enjoying themselves without a worry. I turned my gaze towards the other side of the fire where I saw the Runners sitting together. My eyes fell on Minho as he was having a conversation with one his Runners. To be honest he was a quite handsome man. He had a well built body, but not over the top. He had dark brown, almost black eyes that turned into a smile-like feature when he laughed. He had very white teeth and dimples on each side of his face. His hands were big and manly, the kind you would quite happily hold in yours. I shook my head at my thoughts and let my eyes wonder around. Then I realised this is the best time to talk to Minho. I stood up, walked past the camp fire and sat down next to him. He looked at me confused.

“What are you doing?” He asked frowning.

“I sat down.” I said simply.

“I saw that, but I didn’t say you could.” He hissed.

“And I very clearly didn’t ask.” I said simply and heard a few chuckles from his Runners. He turned towards them and with a deathly glare quickly shut them up.

“What do you want?” He asked and took another sip of the weird looking drink he was holding in his hands.

“I want to be a runner.” I stated and looked straight into his eyes. At first he looked confused, but soon enough he started off into a loud laughter. “Was something funny?” I asked.

“Yes, shuck-face. You!” He stated and continued laughing.

“I wasn’t joking.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Do you actually expect me to consider you to be a runner?” He asked as his expression changed back into a serious one. I nodded. I saw him thinking and he bursted into laughter once more. “Joke of the year!” He held his stomach from the pain, laughing caused him.

“You do realise I will not leave you alone until you give in, right?” I asked in a completely calm tone. He looked at me for a second and shook his head.

“I will not change my mind about it.” He said and took a sip of his drink before continuing. “A girl has nothing to do behind those walls.”

“We will see about that.” I replied with a grin slowly appearing on my face. I stood up and walked back to the log I was sitting on. Newt took his place next to me too and we got lost in our conversation.

Chapter Text

The next morning I woke up, got ready and walked out of my room to see all the Keepers walking towards the Council Hall. I walked up to Chuck who was standing in the middle of the Glade to ask him what was going on.

“Hi Chuck.” I greeted him making him jump in his place.

“Morning Y/N.” He replied and looked down on the ground. I grabbed his chin and made him look up to me.

“I’m here, not down there.” I said chuckling and I saw a smile appear on his face too. “Do you know what is going on? I saw all the Keepers together.” He slowly nodded.

“They have a meeting every month to discuss how the different jobs are performing or to discuss issues that the Gladers shouldn’t be involved in.” He explained.

“Oh okay.” I replied and started pulling Chuck towards the kitchen. “Let’s get some food.” I stated simply and pulled the poor boy behind me. I felt him tense up when I touched him, but slowly he started getting more relaxed. We took a plate each and sat down at one of the empty tables. Almost no-one was present, only two or three boys were wondering around.

We ate our food quietly. I sensed Chuck didn’t really feel like talking and I didn’t want to force him to. However I knew it was my chance to start my war against Minho in regards to becoming a Runner.

“Do you know when this meeting is finishing?” I asked Chuck taking the last bite in my mouth.

“Should finish soon. They never stay longer than an hour.” He said. I nodded, waved bye to him and took my dishes back to the counter. I walked out of the kitchen and sat down at the bottom of a tree a few meters away from the Council Hall.

I didn’t have to wait before the door opened and people started leaving the room. Some of them looked at me curiously as to why I was sitting there, but didn’t focus much attention to me. As Alby walked out he stopped in front of me.

“Is everything okay?” He asked and I nodded.

“Yep, I’m just waiting for someone.” I replied. I kept looking towards the door when Minho appeared alongside Newt. “And here he is.” I jumped up and walked up to the boys. “Hi!” I greeted them and stood on Minho’s other side. He looked very confused at my appearance. Newt frowned at first, but he already knew I was planning something. The grin appearing on his face reassured me.

“How are you, Y/N?” He asked chuckling.

“Very well, Newt.” I replied.

“Okay, what is going on? This is creeping me out.” Minho joined the conversation.

“I came to visit you.” I said and he looked at me with wide eyes. As if I just told them a horror story of some kind.

“What do you want again?” He asked sighing.

“I told you yesterday. I want to be a Runner and I will not give up until you give in.” I grinned at him hooking my arm into his. “Your life will become full of my constant nagging.” I stated.

“I feel lucky.” He said sarcastically while pulling a face. “I told you I will not change my mind. You will not be a Runner.” He said and tried to pull his arm out of mine.

“Oh I will be! And you will make me one. Don’t underestimate how pressuring I can be.” I flashed a sly smile.

“Do I look like the kind of person who can be manipulated that easily?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“No, you definitely do not.” I answered honestly. “But everyone has a breaking point and I plan to find yours in turn to become a Runner.” I held his arm stronger.

“You are very creepy sometimes.” He said while still struggling to get out of my hold. Of course if he really wanted to pull his arm out, he easily could have, but I knew he didn’t want to hurt me in the process. He might have been a pig-head, but he wasn’t a bad person.

“Oh well, it’s my charm.” I replied acting as cute as I could. But he shook his head grimacing and I laughed at his reaction.

As it was Keepers’ meeting on the morning Minho didn’t have to leave the Glade, therefore he stayed in all day. Luckily it meant I could be around him and annoy him as much as I wanted. At some point people started whispering things like we were a couple, or we had something between us, but I just ignored it. It didn’t really bother me as I did find Minho very attractive. An eye-candy of some sort.

“Minho!” I shouted after him as he left the Map Room and started walking towards his room. “Hi!” I said innocently.

“You again? Aren’t you getting bored?” He asked letting out a tired sigh.

“I’m all good.” I grinned at him. “So how about the Runner thing?” I asked and his eyes were glaring at me like he wanted to put daggers in me.

“Do I look like a faulty recorder to you? Why do I have to keep repeating everything when it comes to you? My answer is no and it will stay that way.” He said and put his hands on his eyes.

“And now?” I asked chuckling, but he just glared at me.

“You are shucking annoying.” He said sighing deeply. “Newt!” He shouted to the boy working at the Fields. “Get this baggage off of me.” He asked him as if I was some kind of an unwanted luggage left behind.

“Sorry, can’t help you out.” He grinned and focused on his job.

“What are friends for?!” He said seemingly giving up.

“So? Did anything change?” I pushed his shoulder jokingly.

“Not in the slightest.” He said and started walking away from me. I grabbed his arm again this time with my injured wrist and I hissed in pain. I stopped following him and started inspecting my wrist. “Pay attention you shuck-face.” He stopped a few meters away from me. I looked up at him surprised, but soon changed into a grin at his attention and I run over to him.

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m tough.” I said linking my arm with his while he put his hands in his pockets.

“Who said I was worried?” He scoffed.

“You don’t have to say it. It was way too obvious.” I replied shrugging my shoulders.

“Think what you want.” He said. I chuckled at his response.

“Does that mean I can think that you agreed that I can be a Runner?” I smirked looking at his profile.

“Not that.” He sighed and I knew I was close to making him give in. I could be very persuasive when needed to be. I just felt it in my bones.

As we walked to the kitchen to grab something to eat, a few heads turned at the sight of us linking arms. I just grinned at them and they quickly turned away. We took a plate each and sat down with Alby, Newt and the two of the same runners who were sitting with us the day before. I really should have learned the names, but it seemed to be the least of my worries.

“What’s going on?” Newt asked. “You seem to be very strong-headed about it.” He smirked.

“She is like a cockroach. You can’t get rid of her.” Minho stated with a bored expression while stuffing his face.

“Awww thank you.” I cooed and he looked at me so confused, his food almost fell out of his mouth. He coughed and opened his mouth to reply.

“That was not at all a compliment.” He shook his head.

“That actually is. Because you said you can’t get rid of me, meaning you will have to give in some time, because you will not be able to handle my annoying behaviour much longer.” I explained with a smirk spreading across my face. He just sighed and continued eating.

Chapter Text

I woke up the next morning to a knock on my door. I knew Newt was the kind of person who wakes up easily early morning, therefore I asked him the night before to wake me up before the Runners leave so I could catch Minho.

I replied with a silent “I’m awake” and started getting dressed. I walked out of my room and Newt was still standing there waiting for me.

“He is still in his room.” He said with a know it all smile and walked off. I went to Minho’s room and waited in front of it until the door opened.

“Morning.” I grinned at him as I caught him off guard. He had a surprised expression sitting on his face.

“Eh, yeah morning.” He replied. “What are you doing here?” He asked still tired from not being able to wake up properly.

“I came to ask if you have changed your decision already.” I stated simply. He sighed and started rubbing his temples.

“I told you I won’t change my mind. There’s a shucking Maze behind those walls. It’s hard enough for us to keep ourselves safe, we wouldn’t be able to take care of an extra person.” He explained tiredly. I got even more curious at his mention of a Maze and felt even more determined.

“I don’t have to be taken care of.” I replied in disbelief. “I’m not a doll or muppet, I can pay attention to myself.”

“Yeah, I can see.” He looked down on my bandaged wrist.

“That was not my fault. One of the Gladers dropped a pile of wood on me. How am I supposed to prevent that?” I frowned. He started walking off to meet his Runners in front of the entrance. I heard the loud creaking of the metallic wheels turning to open the doors.

“You are right, it was not your fault. But by getting injured, you are risking the life of your partners. As the Keeper of the Runners, I can not let that happen.” He turned back to the entrance and was about to run off.

“You shuck-face!” I shouted after him. He turned back with a grin on his face and disappeared behind the walls.

I was pacing around the Glade, not wanting to do anything. I was injured and I didn’t even care about any of the jobs. Not long after Alby showed up next to me as I was looking at the concrete walls.

“You are making a very big commotion about wanting to become a Runner.” He said with an emotionless expression.

“Because I want to be one. It’s that simple.” I stated.

“Yes, but you can’t just be a Runner, because you want to be. You have to be chosen, you have to have special skills. You have to be fast, physically strong, have a good memory. You have to be chosen to become a Runner or have to deserve it with your determination. It’s not happening from one day to another.” He explained while fixing his gaze on the walls.

“Alby!” I looked at him and he turned towards me. “How can someone prove they’re worthy of becoming a Runner, if you don’t let them try it? Doing other jobs won’t show the necessary skill-set needed. Therefore whatever you just said means nothing. Basically it goes for face value. If they like someone, that person will become a Runner. If they don’t, then oh well…” I exaggerated.

“It’s not as simple…” He started, but I cut him off.

“Let me try myself!” I clenched my jaws as I started getting agitated.

“It’s not completely my decision.” He said. “To be fair, all the Keepers have to agree or at least the majority of them for you to become a Runner.

"Then let’s have a vote.” I stated simply and he scoffed.

“It’s not that easy. They won’t let you be one, because you are girl.” I huffed in disagreement. “I know it annoys you, but that is how most of the boys think here.”

“Fine, I will not do any jobs until I’m being declared as a Runner.” I stated calmly at sat down on the grass.

“You can’t do that. You have to do something until we can vote.” He said and wanted to pull me up.

“No!” I replied simply and pulled my arm out of his grasp.

“You know that resisting an order can make you end up in the pit, right?” He asked thinking it would work on me. To scare me.

“Then throw me in the pit.” I shrugged my shoulders and kept sitting on the grass.

“Y/N!” I knew he was losing patience, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be a runner, I was adamant to become one at any cost.

“I don’t care. Throw me in the pit.”

“Fine.” He pulled me up forcefully and lead me to the pit. “Get in.” I did as he asked and sat down on the ground. It was cold and dark, but I didn’t regret my decision. If I needed to work harder to get what I wanted then be it. I didn’t plan on giving up. “I will send Chuck over with some food at dinner time.” He said and left me behind.

I didn’t even realise I dosed off until I heard coughing in front of the door and Chuck was standing there with a plate of food. It was getting dark outside and became colder. I felt like I needed a hoodie or a long sleeved shirt but I didn’t want to show weakness. Chuck opened the door and gave me the plate. I thanked him and he replied with a nod.

Not long after Newt appeared in front of me.

“What did you do?” He asked smiling gently.

“I refused to be anything but a Runner.” I stated while shrugging my shoulders.

“Yeah, so I’ve heard. Everyone’s heard about it.” He said and shook his head. “They are organising a meeting for tomorrow morning.” He smiled happily that they got it sorted so quickly. “But you do have to stay overnight in the pit.” He said and the smile disappeared from his face. “This shouldn’t be the solution to it though.” He sighed. “You could become one later, this is just too extreme.”

“I know, but I don’t plan on taking a step back just because some people think it’s reckless. I want it, I get it.” I explained and smiled at him. “Thank you for visiting me though.” He nodded and wished me good night.

I thought I wouldn’t have any more visitors at such late time, but not long after an unexpected face appeared in front of the door. He opened it and threw a shirt at me.  

“You will get cold.” He said and I couldn’t remove the shocked expression from my face. “Your welcome.” He said before attempting to walk off.

“Wait!” I shouted after him and he walked back. “Thank you for this.” I showed him the cloth I received. “But I have to ask you, what will be your vote tomorrow?” He was expressionless.

“You already know.” He stated and walked off again.

“Then change it.” I shouted after him. He didn’t even turn back, but he replied.

“I will not.”

Chapter Text

I put on the hoodie I got from Minho and took a deep breath. It smelled just like him. Manly and strong. I kept it close to my nose as I snuggled into it. It was dark and cold sitting in the pit and there were no sounds coming from the Gladers. Everyone went to sleep, but I just couldn’t get myself to. Sometimes I heard the walls changing in the Maze and the loud whirring and clicking sounds of the Grievers, but I couldn’t concentrate on that.

I wanted it to be morning already, to get the results of the vote. I wanted to become a Runner and if I needed I would have sat around in the pit until they had three, four or even five meetings organised, just to make me become one.

I was moving around uncomfortably as the space was small and damp and I could feel my cloths getting wet. I closed my eyes and after about a thousand turns I finally gave myself to dreamland.

I was running through a corridor when I heard a loud shot not far from me. I started running faster when a second shot followed. I looked to the side and saw Minho fall down on the concrete floor, hitting his head. His face changed. He was in pain. Both his head and shoulder was bleeding. I tried to stop it with my shirt, but I couldn’t. I was desperately trying to help him, while trying to stop myself from crying, but every effort of mine seemed to be useless  He was in pain and I couldn’t help.

I felt hands grabbing my shoulder before I was pulled up and away from Minho. I screamed, I started kicking, I even bit the man who came to stand in front of me trying to cover my mouth. I tried to resist with all the power I have left, but they were stronger. The way the man’s hands dug their way into my skin was excruciating and by trying to escape I just made it worse. I looked down at Minho’s body laying across the floor. It seemed lifeless.

“Minho!” I screamed his name trying to get his attention, but he was unconscious.

“Look at me, you little rascal.” The man standing in front of me harshly grabbed my chin and made me look at him. His blue eyes looked at me with an ice cold look. “You will do as I say or your little friend will die here.” He grabbed his gun from his side and pointed it towards Minho. I followed every movement of his crying.

“Please don’t do it. Please help him. Please!” I pleaded. A disgusting grin appeared on his face.

“Are you going to be a good girl?” He asked and I nodded without hesitation. “Promise me you won’t try run away and you will complete all the tests obediently without even a hint of resistance.” I nodded as quickly as I could. I just wanted them to get to Minho.

“I promise!” I finally answered. He nodded towards a group of men standing around the corner dressed in black, weapons hanging off of their side. They lifted Minho’s unconscious body and took it out of my sight. I followed his unconscious body until it has completely left my sight.

“He will be fine. But you” He laughed. “not necessarily ” He held his gun up to my head and hit my temple.

I woke up sweating and trying to catch my breath. I didn’t know where I was at first, but then I recognised Minho’s shirt on me and everything came back. It was just a dream. I was confused at how real it seemed, but I didn’t pay much attention to it as I saw Newt at the entrance.

“I thought you were never planning on waking up.” I heard Newt’s voice.

“I thought I would never wake up.” I replied.

“Bad dreams?” He asked and opened my door. “Come on.” He lead me out of the pit.

“Yeah, a horrible one.” I nodded. “Where are we going?” I asked and didn’t have to think twice, before I saw the Council Hall. “Oh!” I said quietly.

“Yeah, it’s time to decide what you wanted all along.” He smirked.

We walked in to the room and I saw all the Keepers scattered around the place. I saw Zart, Alby, Clint, Gally, Frypan, Winston, 3 other boys whose name I wasn’t sure of and last but not least Minho. Newt lead me to a chair at the back of the hall and made me sit down on it. I placed my hands in the pocket of Minho’s hoodie and listened to Alby.

“As you all know I called this gathering because Y/N has been wanting to become a Runner.” I heard some gasps coming from the Keepers making me realise not everyone was aware of my will. “She has however refused to do any other jobs, therefore as a punishment, she had to stay overnight in the pit.” He sighed. “As the problem doesn’t seem to be solved easily, I called this meeting to make a decision on what will happen to her.” He finished.

“But Alby, she is setting a bad example.” One of the boys I didn’t know spoke. “If we actually vote her to be a Runner for whatever miraculous reason it will just show to the other Gladers that they can go against the orders as they will be forgiven after being punished mildly once.” Alby hummed quietly.

“However, she also sets the example of how to stand up for yourself and how to chase after what you want.” Newt started.

“If we have a Runner like her, it shows determination and that is always a positivity. Don’t forget, the Gladers need people who they can look up to. And they might not do so just yet, but with her determination it could actually effect people in a better way too.” Newt stood up for me. It made me smile and I whispered a thank you as he looked at me.

“So Johnathan you are voting with a No and Newt your vote is a Yes, am I correct?” Both questioned nodded in agreement.

“How do we even know if she will do well in the Maze? We never actually seen her do anything.” I scoffed at the unknown boy’s reaction and everyone looked at me in despise. I tried to hide in the hoodie unsuccessfully. “Oh I’m sorry, we did actually see her, ruining Frypan’s kitchen, running away from the Slicers, because she can not handle a little blood and get injured on her first week here. I don’t think it would be a good idea.” He finished his monologue.

“I would be happier if she stayed in the Glade.” Clint said. “She could help us out in the Med-hut, but if she wants to go and wants to get herself killed, then bless her.”

“To be honest, I saw her working on the Fields and she was doing well, but I don’t think I’m in any position to decide what she would like to do. I mean we are Keepers, yes and we do have to take care of our people, but I would never force someone to do something they don’t want to. So let her be a Runner if she wants to.” Zart explained and I was very grateful for his words.

“Are we really actually sitting here discussing a little girl’s problem? Why do we even care? Let’s just push her in the Maze. As far as I’m concerned she will just slow us down.” Gally spit it hatefully.

“Is that supposed to be a yes?” Alby asked and Gally nodded whispering a whatever. “Sid?” Alby turned towards a boy I have only seen once when I entered this room.

“It’s a no from me. She should stay put and just do as she is told.” I scoffed at him and got glares from all the participants.

“I think we should make her a Slopper. By my personal experiences she has proved herself to be useless in more than one occasions, therefore I wouldn’t want to entrust her with finding a way out of here. She would make us get lost in the end.” Frypan stated and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was still sulking about his kitchen even though I didn’t even set it on fire or did anything to it that’s remotely dangerous.

“I don’t think she should go out there either.” Winston stood up to talk. “I’m not saying it’s because she is a girl or because she is useless. I haven’t even had a proper conversation with the girl, but if she really can’t handle cruelty how is she going to behave with a Griever. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m voting with a no.” He finished and sat back down. I started losing my positivity. It seemed like everyone was against me.

“I think we should give her a chance. She did go against orders and doesn’t seem to respect our rules just yet, but I do agree that with her determination she could pull on the group if it comes to that.” My eyes widened at Alby’s monologue. I thought he would have been the last one to agree, but he stood on my side after all. “It seems we have 5 votes for Yes and 5 votes for No. Minho? It’s up to you now.” He explained and put his hand on Minho’s shoulder.

Chapter Text

I didn’t even look at Minho. After all, I knew his answer. I slouched back in the chair and waited for his smug grin to appear followed by an emphasised no. I was already planning on how many more days I will spend in the pit until they finally decide in my favour.

“If…” Minho started and my eyes darted towards him. “If I vote with a yes” he turned towards me. “will you follow every instruction I give you? Will you do as I tell you to? The Maze isn’t a joke, you have to be very careful even at day time.” I nodded quickly without even realising what he had asked of me. “Fine, let her be a Runner.” Minho looked at Alby.

“Very well.” Alby said and concluded the meeting. I was still sitting there in the back of the Council hall, dumbfounded. I couldn’t move. My brain forgot to process the situation. I was ready to fight more, I was ready to go against them many more times, still I didn’t have to. They voted for me to become a Runner.

“How do you feel, Runner?” Newt appeared in front of me.

“I have no idea.” I answered and scratched the back of my neck awkwardly. “I don’t think I’ve processed the information just yet.” I shook my head.

“Well you are officially a Runner, Y/N.” He said and grinned at me happily. “By the way I wanted to ask, why on earth are you wearing Minho’s hoodie?” I looked up at him confused and turned my gaze to Minho. He immediately turned away and left.

“He gave it to me last night. It was cold in the pit.” I said and felt my face heating up.

“Wait a second.” Newt frowned and looked straight into my eyes as he squatted down. “Why are you blushing?” His eyes narrowed.

“I’m not, you are just confusing the situation.” I said and jumped up from the chair to leave the room.

“You have a bloody crush on Minho.” He said way too loud to my ears and I hid his mouth behind my palm.

“Shut it! I do not!” I quickly said and left him behind.

“Oh you definitely do. You wouldn’t behave like this if you didn’t.” He teased and I started getting very annoyed. I wanted to enjoy my victory, but he didn’t seem to want me to. I stopped suddenly and turned around.

“Newt! I do not want to hear about this anymore, are we clear? Let me enjoy my win.” I shoved a finger in his face and then turned around and walked off.

“She is so easy to read.” I heard his voice quietly, but I just kept on walking. I was annoyed. Very much so.

I was walking around the Glade not being able to do anything. I wanted to start to train already, but Minho was nowhere to be found. I was searching up and down the place, I even asked almost every Glader, but he was nowhere. He disappeared into thin air. I knew he was not in the Maze as he sent out other Runners, but I still couldn’t find him.

I started walking towards the Deadheads as that was the only place I haven’t checked. I found it creepy and I didn’t feel like going any closer than necessary, but I decided to grab all the courage I had left in me and walk into the darkness. The sunlight barely got through the thick branches of the trees. The place was dark and cold compared to the Glade itself.

I walked forward into the middle of the forest when I came across a familiar face.

“I’ve been looking for you.” I said to him as he turned around when I stepped on a few pieces of branches that were broken off of the trees.

“What do you want now?” He asked as he sat down on the bottom of one of the trees.

“I wanted to thank you.” I said and sat down next to him.

“For getting you killed? How grateful can you be?” He asked with much frustration in his voice.

“I’m not going to get killed. I wanted it. I knew the consequences.” I nodded to myself.

“You know nothing. It’s worse than you think in there.” He sighed and leaned back to the tree.

“What’s wrong with you?” I frowned at his sudden mood change. “Why on earth did you vote with a yes, if you are whining here now?” I stood up in frustration.

“Whining? I’m not whining. I just don’t understand my own decision.” He said and followed my previous movement.

“Well it’s too late now so suck it up.” I said and started leaving, but he grabbed my arm.

“You do realise, I’m responsible for the Runners right? If you pull us down because you can’t keep up, if you get injured because you are reckless, if you make a bad decision, the rest of the Runners will suffer. You better get your act together.” He said in a warning tone.

I walked up to him, only standing a few inches away from him. I felt his warm breath on my face, but at that moment, I couldn’t care less.

“You should have thought about that before you voted the way you did.” I hissed and pulled my hand out of his grasp. “Next time try to make a decision you won’t regret.” I said and left him behind. I was fuming, I was angry, I was pissed off. What a coward.

Chapter Text

The next two weeks I was trining with Minho non-stop. He always sent someone else to the Maze, while he stayed behind to teach me. He didn’t let me rest even for a bit. I felt exhausted and it showed on my performance too. I was tired and he wasn’t happy with anything I did. He kept nagging me about running faster, reacting quicker to situations, memorising better. Whatever I did was always wrong. I honestly felt like he did it on propose to make me want to give up.

“Enough!” I shouted at him through one of our exercises. I was sitting in the grass panting. I wanted to do it and I wanted to do better, but his continuous nagging got on my nervous. “Enough already!”

“Is that all? Are you giving up? I thought you would keep up longer than this.” He had a smug expression on his face.

“No, I’m not giving up. I’m fed up with you.” I kept trying to normalise my breathing. I stood up and walked towards him. I only stopped a few inches away from him. “I don’t mind training, I don’t mind reaching my limits or even going over. I, however am fed up with your behaviour. What is wrong with you? You aren’t making me train, you are trying to sabotage me.” I shouted at him.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I thought you wanted to improve yourself.” He said as if he was completely oblivious to my theory.

“You very well know what I’m talking about. You have been training me for weeks, I have been improving, even I see that I do not need as much rest as before, but you keep coming at me with insults instead of complementing my work. I’m not saying you should be all nice and sweet, but your non-stop nagging is destroying my determination and you are completely aware of it, so don’t play dumb with me.” I pushed on his chest. “You are trying to make me give up.”

“If you can’t do it, then don’t, but don’t blame me for your weakness.” He hissed as if he was holding back his temper.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Newt walked up to us. “I’m feeling some tension here.” He said with a smirk on his face.

“No way captain obvious. If you didn’t say that we wouldn’t have realised.” I groaned in annoyance. “I’m fed up with your little friend here.” I pointed at Minho. “He is trying to sabotage me. He is trying to make me give up.”

“Did you give up?” He asked simply and I shook my head in response. “So why does it matter?

"Because he doesn’t let me go into the Maze. He does nothing but nags me all day long and I’m losing patience.”

“I saw you have improved, but he is still your Keeper, he knows better how to prepare you for what’s behind the walls.” He explained and I just groaned.

“Wipe that smug grin off your face!” I said to Minho.

“Sorry, can’t do that.” He smirked and I just wanted to punch him.

“Don’t be surprised if one night I break into your room and suffocate you with your pillow.” I hissed at him and he just laughed.

“If you had as much power to do so, you would already be in the Maze. But seeing you so worked up it seems you still have energy left so why are you wasting it on arguments?” He asked and I hated that he was right. I could have spent my energy on more useful things, but I didn’t know if it was worth it.

“Slim it, I don’t care what you are saying. I’m leaving.” I said and left the two of them behind. I saw Ben returning to the Glade and ran up to him.

“Hey can I interrupt you for a second?” He nodded in response. “When you finished in the Map Room, can you help me out? I know you are tired, but I could use some advice.” He had a gentle smile appearing on his face and slowly nodded.

“I will be out in just a bit. Wait for me and we can talk while eating. I’m starving.” I returned his smile and sat down next to one of the biggest trees while waiting for Ben. He didn’t take long, I only waited about 15 minutes. As I wasn’t a runner, I didn’t get a watch yet, therefore I could only guess the time.

“Come on up.” He said reaching for my hand. I accepted his help and stood up. We started walking towards the kitchen, grabbed a plate each and left. It was more comfortable to talk without the eager eyes following us. We sat down next to the camp fire that was out now and started munching on our food. “So what’s up?” He asked.

“I’m very tired, Ben. I have improved so much. Even I can see it. I can go for hours without panting like a maniac, I don’t have to stop to rest because I ran out of breath, my reaction skills became faster even I was surprised at how quickly I did on his tests, but he keeps nagging me, telling me I’m still not good enough, that I should be giving up.” I sighed and stuffed my face again.

“I think he is being over protective.” He replied simply.

“What do you mean? Overprotective of what?” I frowned as I didn’t understand what he meant.

“Of you.” I laughed silently. “I’m serious. We never had a Runner who was a girl. It’s something new and he is unsure of how to handle the situation. I don’t think he looks down on you, just because you are girl. He is just saying it to make you give up. I think he simply doesn’t know what to do. Believe me, he is aware of how much you have improved through out the weeks, but he isn’t sure if he should let you go already so he keeps wasting time.” Ben’s words made me think very seriously. If what he said was all true, then I didn’t know what else to do. It just confused me even more. “Give it a little more time and he will give in eventually. He can’t keep training you forever when everyone sees your improvement. And I mean everyone talks about it, Y/N.” I narrowed my eyes looking up at him. “Yes indeed, they talk about how fast you’ve became and how well you’ve been handling the pressure since you started training. And Minho very well knows that there are eyes on you. So he will have to give in sooner or later.” I sighed in frustration and hid my face behind my hands.

“I’m just tired of playing around. I feel like I’m getting nowhere.” I shook my head and started massaging my temple. “I know I’m getting better, but for what, when I can’t use it?” He gently put his arm around my shoulder.

“You will be off the leash soon enough. Don’t stress over it.” He reassured me.

“Thank you.” I smiled feeling better than before.

“What are you two up to?” I heard that annoying voice and I groaned. We looked back to see Minho standing behind us. “I thought you should be resting as you are going back into the Maze.” He targeted Ben. “And you have training tomorrow, so why are you sitting around instead of getting some rest? You are always complaining about that anyway.” I rolled my eyes and stood up along with Ben.

“Good luck!” He said and walked away while giving me a wink. I chuckled at his cheeky behaviour but I turned back to Minho, the smile disappeared from my face in an instant.

“Don’t you get tired of nagging me? Don’t you have better things to do as a Keeper?” I asked with clear boredom in my voice.

“Don’t you have better things to do than talking back?” I sighed and walked around him heading to the kitchen to place the dirty plate on the counter. I had no more energy left to fight with him.

Chapter Text

The next morning I woke up to a very bad headache. I felt dizzy and light headed. I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep. I felt exhausted and I felt the pain going through my body from my muscles to my bones. I tried to ignore the sun and hid my head under the pillow. But as much as I tried to sleep back, it was impossible as the non-stop knocking on the door didn’t let me.

“Get up!” I heard Minho’s voice and I pulled the cover over my head and the pillow, thinking if I ignored him, it would stop him. But it didn’t. “I’m coming in.” He didn’t even finish the sentence, I heard the wooden door’s creaking noise as he was already opening it.

“Have you ever heard of privacy?” I asked with an annoyed tone, but he didn’t seem to mind or just didn’t hear the muffled noise under the layers of protection I was hiding in. He walked over to my bed and started kicking the side of the mattress. I groaned in annoyance, but he was very determined in getting me out of bed and didn’t care about my ignorance towards him.

“Get up!” He repeated. I unpacked myself from the pile of linen and looked up at him with a deadly glare, but he just stared back with a blank expression. I finally gave in and got out of the bed. If sitting on the side of the mattress counts as getting out anyway. I looked up at Minho while pointing towards the door.

“I need to change, captain obvious. Would you mind leaving?” His expression has finally changed. He looked a bit taken a back at first but luckily I didn’t have to repeat myself as he left immediately. I stood up from the mattress, but I almost fell back. I felt wobbly and I knew something was wrong. However I knew if I told Minho, he would have just laughed at me and called me weak or he would have told me that I was just using excuses to get out of practice. I collected all the energy I have left in my body, changed my cloths and walked out of the room to meet my trainer waiting next to the door impatiently.

We walked to our training area in the middle of the field, where the sun was shining straight at us, brighter than ever. He made me start running back and forth at first. In any other situations I was perfectly fine with it, but it wasn’t a day like every other. I felt like my whole body weighed a ton, if not more. The sun was burning my already heated body and it didn’t make it any easier either. I felt dizzy and I kept gasping for air as if I have never ran in my life. I kneeled down to relax a bit and organise my breathing, hoping I would be able to continue and do better, but Minho didn’t like it.

“Hey, get up! We are not done yet.” He said while walking up to me. When he stopped I looked up at him with begging eyes to just let me take a breather, but he ignored it and grabbed my arm to pull me up. I have had just enough energy to resist. “Get up, it’s not the time to rest.”

“Just give me two minutes, Minho. I’m exhausted.” I asked as gently as I could, hoping he would understand. But he didn’t. Or just simply didn’t care.

“Get up!” He repeated with a harsher tone. “Do you think when you are running from the Grievers, they will give you two minutes?” He asked as he successfully pulled me up against my will. “They won’t even give you a nanosecond let alone two minutes.” He pushed on me assuming he was trying to make me get my shit together, but it felt 10 times stronger than it should have. “Get back into running.” He ordered as if we were in the army and so I did as I was told. His forceful behaviour made me want to prove myself. But it didn’t take seconds to feel like I was about to throw up again. I really just wanted to give in and lay across the grass meanwhile ignoring his non-stop nagging. I was surprised how he didn’t see my performance lacking. I didn’t want to believe that he just ignored it. Even he couldn’t be that cruel. I was even thinking how I might have been a very good actress of some kind if I could hide how unwell I felt.

“Just let me drink.” I asked as I stopped running once again and started panting uncontrollably. I wasn’t thirsty particularly, but my lips felt drier than ever.

“Five more rounds and you can drink.” I wasn’t sure I could have finished the five rounds or not, but I didn’t have to think about it long. I barely ran half a lap when I felt the need to stop again for a second as I got completely lightheaded and I felt my knees trembling. I was gasping for air, but it didn’t seem to get to my lungs. As if the air refused to go down the right pipe. I started coughing but I couldn’t even decide if I have done it myself to get my lungs working or it came as a result of not being able to breath properly. Not long after even my legs decided to give in and I fell down on them, kneeling in the middle of the grass. I heard people’s voices coming from afar, but I couldn’t understand what they were trying to say. I was finally in one place relaxing, but it still didn’t seem to be enough. I felt myself losing my balance and I started falling as I lost both my hearing and sight. It was just calm and dark. Just like when I was sleeping. A feeling I seemed to have forgotten about. I felt finally relaxed and even though I have tried to fight it for what seemed to be eternity, I decided to give myself to the darkness willingly. My body needed it. My brain needed it. I needed it.

Chapter Text

I heard voices around me and I wanted to open my eyes, but they felt way too heavy.

“How is she?” I heard a voice coming from afar or at least it seemed like that.

“She is fine, but she needs to rest. She is exhausted. Her body gave up because she couldn’t handle not being able to rest.” Another voice answered. “Minho, people have to rest. I understand you want to make her as good as she can get, but the more you push, the more tired she gets and when a body gives up, recovery takes even longer than a resting period. She will not be able to train for at least three to five days.”

“I’m such a slinthead. I should have paid more attention to the signs. But why on earth did she not tell me?” He asked annoyance clearly showing in his voice while the other party let out an awkward laughter.

“I wouldn’t have done it either. You can be quite creepy, shank.” He chuckled. “You have been nagging her about how weak she is for as long as I can remember. Did you really think she would actually tell you when she felt unwell? Because I don’t.” I heard the other sigh and I finally started opening my eyes. At first I had to close them back straight away as the immediate light made me feel uncomfortable, but I kept trying. Finally I could keep them open, even though I kept blinking continuously. I looked to the side and saw Jeff and Minho talking. I coughed to get their attention as words didn’t seem to want to leave my lips. Both of them came up to me and I received a glass of water from Jeff. He helped me to sit up until I drank and made me lay down when I finished. Quite forcefully to be completely honest.

“How are you feeling?” Minho asked. I remembered I passed out in the middle of the training and it made me feel guilty. I was about to get up, when Jeff pushed me back again, but this time gently.

“You are not going anywhere.” His eyes widened in disbelief. “You passed out. I’m not letting you out of my sight for a few more hours. I looked at Minho pleading, but he seemed to be on the same page. I sighed in disagreement.

"Why did I pass out?” I asked looking up at Jeff.

“Your body was exhausted. You should have rested.” I scoffed.

“Tell that to my trainer. He seems to be made out of machinery to be able to go without rest.”

“It’s already taken care of.” He replied and looked at Minho who nodded in agreement. Jeff walked out of the room leaving Minho and I behind.

“How are you?” He asked again and for some reason he actually sounded genuinely interested.

“I’m fine. I’m not even sure why I have to stay here.” I sighed at the thought of not being able to train.

“You might feel better, but your body needs to recover. You exhausted all your energy.” He explained looking straight into my eyes. “And… I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for not paying attention to you when you needed the most.” I smiled at him. I appreciated his effort for apologising.

“It’s okay. I’m all good now.” He shook his head.

“You will be good. For now you need to rest.” He replied gently but clearly showing his authority.

“How long was I out?”

“About 12 hours, I’d say.” My eyes widened and I started getting out of the bed. “What are you doing?” He was clearly questioning my sanity.

“I was out for 12 hours, why on earth would I stay here any longer?” I argued and pushed his hands away when he tried to stop me. “I’m out of here.” I said and stood up. But I immediately regretted it when I started feeling dizzy. Minho pushed me back on the mattress and I even forgot to resist.

“That is why you have to stay.” He sighed at my stupidity. “Jeff wouldn’t have said to stay if he didn’t mean it. He knows his job. Trust him.” He reassured me. “I have to go back now. Try to stay put and rest. No wondering around without Jeff’s approval.” I felt being bossed around, but I didn’t mind. I nodded in agreement and watched him leave the room.

I felt useless laying around doing nothing. I also felt happy for the attention I received from Minho. I started thinking if Newt was actually right. What if I started to like him? What then? He is so focused on his job, he wouldn’t have time for such things. And the fact that we were always fighting with each other also made me question if having feelings for him didn’t interfere with my training.

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard the door open. A blonde mess of hair appeared behind it.

“Are you awake?” Newt asked.

“No, I’m sleeping.” I said rolling my eyes. He chuckled and let himself in.

“I can see that.” He had a cheeky smirk sitting on his face. “Are you feeling better?” He sat down on the edge of the mattress.

“I’m okay. I will recover quickly.” I reassured him.

“You got us worried. Everyone saw you pass out.” I felt embarrassed. I pulled the cover over my head to hide myself, but Newt pulled it down to look at me. “Stop hiding, we really were worried.”

“Yeah and now everyone thinks that I really am just a weakling. So proud of myself!” I said cynically.

“No-one thought that you were weak. We knew Minho was pushing you to your limits and it was very clear in the last few days that you were tired. You ate less, you had dark circles under your eyes and you had very clearly less energy. When we saw you pass out, we thought it was more serious, but luckily it wasn’t.” He let out a relieved sigh.

“How did I get here?” I asked curiously.

“Minho picked you up and brought you here. I think he felt guilty for pushing you to your limit.” He smirked. “He looked like a hero carrying you to the Med-hut.”

“Yay!” I replied with an annoyed expression.

“So how are things going between you two?” He winked at me with a know-it-all expression sitting across his face. My eyes widened at his sudden change of subject.

“Woah, what are you talking about?” I questioned him.

“Come on, you very well know what I mean. Every time I bring this subject up, you blush.” He smirked and I touched my face. It felt warmer than usual. “Yep, you are red indeed.” He laughed out loud. I didn’t know how to react. I still remembered him telling Minho about his name. I wasn’t sure if I could trust him and I wasn’t even sure I had genuine feelings towards him.

“I told you to stop it. There is nothing between us.” I replied and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Sure, sure. We will come back to this subject later on.” He grinned at me and stood up to leave. I just sat on my mattress rolling my eyes as he walked out.

Chapter Text

The next day I awoke in my own bed. I rolled around happily as I knew I could rest as long as I wanted. I felt guilty for not being able to practice, but resting was a rarity in the Glade and I used it wisely.

I changed my cloths and put my hair into a pony tail.

I walked out of my room and started walking just anywhere. I had no place in my mind. I went where my legs took me to. I saw Chuck standing a few meters away from the entrance of the Glade looking up at the big concrete walls.

“Hey.” I greeted him and he jumped. “I’m not that scary. This is not the first time you reacted like that.” I smiled.

“Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.” He looked down on the ground.

“Why are you always looking down? Hold your head up.” I told him. I understood he was shy, but he was on a whole other level that I found very hard to understand.

“I’m just not good with people.” He replied, but this time looking up at me.

“That’s fine, but if you don’t try, you will never learn either.” I felt very wise.

“Are you feeling better now? You passed out hard.” He asked gently and I patted his shoulder.

“I feel brand new.” I replied and smiled at the little boy. I felt the ground shake and loud banging followed. I saw everyone running up to the box I came in a month ago. It felt longer however.

Everyone gathered around the box, but Chuck and I stayed put. I remembered how frightening and annoying all the new faces were when I didn’t even remember my own name. It barely took a couple of minutes before I could see a tall guy with brown hair and slim body climbing out of the box.

I saw a scared look on his face that reminded me of myself when I arrived. He didn’t waste time and started running towards Chuck and me.

“We got a runner.” I heard someone raising his voice.

“Y/n, stop him.” Minho shouted. The boy started closing on me. I put my arm out and as his chest met my hand, I forcefully pushed him down on the ground. He whined in pain. Even I didn’t know I held such power in me.

“That was so cool.” Newt ran towards us. “Can we do it again?” He laughed and helped the newbie up from the ground.

“That hurt.” He said as he got up with Newt’s help. The rest of the Gladers arrived as well to inspect the new arrival.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I replied but I knew I didn’t seem genuine. It gave me a sudden confidence boost.

“That was something.” Minho stood next to me smirking. “If I didn’t see it myself, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“I still have hidden skills.” I laughed.

Everyone went back to their jobs as Newt started touring with the Newbie. I headed towards the kitchen along with Minho. I realised I haven’t eaten for two days and my stomach given its very loud opinion about my negligence towards it. I felt very awkward, but Minho just laughed it off.

We walked up to the kitchen counter and took a plate of food already prepared for late arrivals. We sat down at a random table and started eating. I ate so quickly I wasn’t even sure I was human anymore. It felt like I haven’t eaten for weeks and I only recognised how bad I must have looked when my eyes met Minho’s dark irises.

“Someone looks hungry.” He said smirking while pushing another bit into his mouth.

“I haven’t eaten for two days. I deserve to eat like a pig.” I stated simply and focused back on my food.

“Very appealing.” He laughed. I just shrugged my shoulders.

“We will talk about it the next time you are out for days.” I talked back.

“If there will ever be a time like that.” He corrected me.

“I can take care of that.” I looked at him offering my help.

“Thanks, but I think I’m good.” He smirked while his face was stuffed full of food.

“Now that is what I call very appealing.” I laughed at his face. He just shrugged his shoulders and took another fork full and placed it into his already well filled mouth. “Pig-head.” I said.

“That’s what you called me when you arrived too.” He remembered back.

“Yep, because you were one.” I shrugged my shoulders this time.

“And it seems I still am one.” He grinned and I returned his expression and nodded.

As he was sitting across the table I kept glancing at him. He didn’t look at all appealing while stuffing his face full of food, but for some reason, the scenario made me feel happy, made me feel at ease. He wasn’t smiling, but his eyes looked happy while he concentrated on his food.

Not long after, Newt and the greenie joined us at the table.

“Welcome to the Glade.” I said to the newbie while they took their seats.

“Thanks, but I’m still very confused.” He said. I just waved down at him.

“It will pass.” I reassured him.

“You are the only girl here?” He asked and I nodded.

“The one and only.” I laughed.

“Must be hard, between so many boys.” He took his first bite.

“I got used to it. I have had some hardships with people like the guy sitting next to you but I’m all good.” Minho looked up at me with a deathly glare in his eyes, but I just grinned at him. “If you need any help, just let us know.” The new boy just nodded and continued eating.

“This tastes weird.” He stated while grimacing.

“This?” Newt asked in disbelief. “This actually tastes the best compared to most of Frypan’s creations.” The newbie pulled a face, not feeling satisfied.

“You will get used to it.” I said with a gentle smile. “What are you planning on doing with him today?” I turned to Newt. “I mean I’m still off training so I have literally nothing to do.”

“Well, you could help us out at the Fields.” Newt offered and I nodded.

“No!” Minho interrupted our conversation. “You are resting for one more day. That’s the instruction Jeff gave you. But if you have so much energy already, we can start training again.” He smirked.

“You see? I have some difficulties with this guy.” I grinned at the newbie and he returned it.

“I’m right here, you know? I can hear everything.” He whined.

“Oh can you? Sorry, I didn’t realise.” I smirked and stuck my tongue out at him. I took a sip of my water and looked at the newbie to see what he was up to. His eyes were wondering between Minho and I and it felt like he had something to say. I didn’t have to wait for long to know what he was thinking of though.

“Are you two dating or something?” He let it out and I spit my drink on my plate, trying to normalise my breathing while coughing vigorously.

“What?” I asked after a few minutes passed. Minho was just looking at him frozen, speechless. “Not at all. I’m a Runner trainee and he is the Keeper of the Runners. We are like boss and employee, like coach and player. Nothing of that sort.” I talked so quickly even I was surprised how fast I could talk.

“Oh you seemed closer than that. Like the way you talked to each other didn’t sound like that. You sound more like friends or more.” He stated and shoved another piece of food in his mouth.

“I keep telling Y/N the same thing, but she just denies it.” Newt stepped in.

“Hey!” I kicked Minho’s leg under the table. “Don’t you care to elaborate?” I stared at him.

“Nah! They can think what they want. I’m not bothered.” He said with a bored tone and continued eating.

Before he was frozen and speechless and then he just didn’t care anymore. Who understands this guy really? I scoffed, took my plates back to Frypan and left them behind.

Chapter Text

It was already Bonfire night.

I was watching the people working from the Lookout tree. They seemed like little ants running around. Everyone was getting ready. The Builders were bringing piles of woods next to the camp fire, Frypan and the cooks were preparing meals for the night and Gally was making his secret recipe that tasted vile. Newt was organising the rest of the members sending them wherever they were needed.

I looked towards the Maze and saw Minho and Ben running out of the concrete walls. They headed towards the Map room and disappeared behind its door. I always wanted to go in there, but Minho didn’t let me until I officially ran the Maze. However it didn’t seem like I was any closer to that than when I arrived.

I saw one of the boys lit the fire and another started bringing the food to a table for everyone to take as many as they wished. Some of the guys were playing a familiar tune on kitchen utensils, glasses and metal drums. Gally was already prepared to fight as the people started gathering around. His game was ridiculous for me. I didn’t understand what was such fun in pushing someone out of a circle. But everyone seemed to enjoy it, so bless them.

Newt was sitting with the new boy with their backs to one of the wooden logs a bit further away from the fire. They seemed to be lost in their conversation. The Runners were sitting behind the camp fire in their closed little group. Minho was there too, eating some of Frypan’s creations. For some reason I didn’t feel like joining the party.

I climbed down of the Lookout tree and headed towards the Deadheads. I felt dark for some reason. I didn’t really feel like celebrating or partying at all. I sat down at the edge of the forest at the bottom of one of the bigger trees laying my back to its trunk. I looked up at the sky and got lost in its beauty. There were no clouds and I couldn’t even find the moon, but over all it was calm and relaxing.

I started thinking why I felt down and the only thing that came to my mind was Minho’s face. I got more and more annoyed as people started bringing up if we had anything to do with each other, regardless of being a Runner and a Keeper. I started to realise that I really did like Minho and since Newt was having so much fun bringing it up, I couldn’t even shake the thought anymore. I knew Minho wouldn’t have cared for my feelings towards him, but I felt like a whole mountain was sitting on my shoulder by not being able to say it out loud. I just wanted to let it all out. I didn’t need my feelings returned, I just wanted to say it to feel better. To get rid of the weight.

I heard footsteps and a familiar face appeared in front of me. He was the last person I wanted to see now.

“What are you doing here?” He asked and sat down next me.

“Thinking.” I replied without even looking at him. “How did you find me?”

“Newt told me that you were up in the Lookout tree, but I didn’t find you there. But it was quite easy to spot you from there.” He explained.

“Hmm.” I replied and I felt his gaze on me.

“You seem troubled.” He said and I didn’t know what came over me, but I felt like I had to release the tension building up in me.

“I like you.” I told him plain and blunt. I looked straight at him and he seemed surprised, but wasn’t really as much as I thought.

“When you say you like me…” He started but I cut him off.

“I mean, I like you more than I like the rest of the boys here. I like you more than a friend.” I cleared it up for him.

“Oh…” I knew he was struggling to say something.

“You don’t have to say anything.” I looked back up to the sky, fixing my gaze on its darkness. “I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to return my feelings or because I wanted to trouble you. I only told you because I felt heavy and I felt like I needed to say it out loud.” I concluded. “And anyways, blame it on Newt. He is the one who brought this subject up in every conversation we’ve had.” I chuckled and I felt him getting back to his usual self when he smirked at my last comment. “Are we good?” I reached for his hand to shake it and he accepted it.

“We are good.” He replied and I nodded happily.

“Good that.” I said and started getting up.

“Be ready by sunrise.” He said and I looked at him surprised. We never started training that early.

“What do you mean?” I asked frowning.

“We are going to the Maze. I already gave tomorrow off for Ben.” He stated calmly and started walking away.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked still shocked. “Is it some kind of a prank?” He turned back and shook his head.

“No, we are going to the Maze. That’s what you wanted all along, didn’t you?” I smirked and I ran to him and jumped into his neck. I was so happy I forgot what I was doing. I let him go awkwardly and stood in front of him feeling my face heat up.

“Sorry. That was unnecessary.” I apologised but he just shook his head.

“No worries. I know I’m irresistible.” He smirked and I punched his shoulder jokingly.

“Your ego is way too big for this Glade.” I stated and left his egoistic ass behind.

I went to take a shower, took care of my evening hygiene routine and headed towards my room. I was very excited for finally being able to go into the Maze, but I was also terrified. I didn’t want to disappoint Minho and those who had trust in me. I wanted to prove to be worthy of a Runner.

My excitement made it very difficult to sleep. I was rolling around on my mattress, pushing my cover off of me, then pulling it back. Trying to sleep on my back then on my stomach. Turning from right to left then starting again. It took me a very long time before I could finally give in to the darkness, but it was worth it. Haven’t slept so well in ages.

Chapter Text

The next day I woke up as if they kicked me out of bed. I was so excited I didn’t even need to be woken up by anyone.

I put on my black trousers, black boots and white long-sleeved V-neck shirt and walked out of my room ready to concur the world. Or the world that contained of a Maze only. I walked to the closed doors of the concrete walls and sat down on the grass. It felt a bit damp but I didn’t mind. I couldn’t care less about anything. I just wanted to be on the other side of those gigantic walls.

“You are early.” Minho walked up next to me giving me a small black backpack. I looked into it and saw a bottle full of water, a sandwich and a change of shirt. I didn’t dispute where he got my shirt from though. He also gave me a leather strap to put it on my thighs and handed me a knife. “Just in case.” He said as I placed the knife in the hole it belonged to. I heard the loud metallic noise indicating the opening of the walls. I looked up at the doors and I felt smaller than ever.

“Are you ready for your first day?” Minho asked with a smirk.

“I’ve been ready for a month.” I grinned and waited for him to lead. We ran past the doors and into the Maze. I followed him a few inches behind, looking up on the ivy covered enormous walls. It was dark in the Maze. Even though the sun was out shining bright, the monstrosity of raw concrete didn’t let it in. We kept taking turns, rounding corners and I tried to remember the way. Minho explained to me the concept of the Maze. The theory behind the numbering system. We started off at section eight and he lead me through all the numbers we could cover. First he showed me the outer circles and than we ran back to the inner ones. I did feel a bit lost as I wasn’t sure if I was able to remember everything properly.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to go through all the sections with you a couple of more times in the future so you don’t have to feel bad if you don’t remember something.” He reassured me and I was very grateful for his words. I wasn’t panicking, I didn’t feel like I would have been lost if I was left alone as I did remember the way we came in, but I wasn’t sure if I was running frantically from a Griever, than I would have been able to recognise where I was.

“Let’s take a break.” He said and we stopped at a more open area where we could actually see the sunlight breaking through.

“This place is huge.” I exclaimed while taking out the bottle of water from my bag. Minho nodded in response. “I mean I imagined a Maze wouldn’t be small, don’t get me wrong. But this is like 10 times bigger than I thought.” I stated looking around the place.

“It is huge and dangerous.” He said. “Even though it’s day light, we have to be very careful. There could be Grievers anywhere. Even though they have a pattern, I’m not sure they necessarily stick to it.” He explained.

“Have you ever been stung before?” I started munching on my sandwich.

“No and I don’t plan to.” He shook his head. “There were others who got stung before and died. We didn’t always have the serum. It was sent up only a couple of months ago and we didn’t use it just yet, therefore we do not even know how well it’s working.”

“Remind me not to ever get stung.” I joked, but he didn’t seem to be in the mood.

“It’s not funny. That could be the last memory of your life.” He said with a serious expression.

“I’m aware, I’m just trying to take on things positively so I don’t become a depressed, whining old hag by the time we get out of here.” I sighed and shook my head at his sternness.

Minho showed me around the Maze, but we didn’t explore everything he knew as he wanted to get back in time. We actually got back way before the doors were closing, but he wanted to show me around the Map room. As we ran past the doors, I saw Newt waving at me. I waved back and stuck my tongue out at him. He chuckled and showed me a thumbs up. As we arrived to the building of the Map room, I followed Minho as close as I could. I didn’t want him to change his mind before I could even take a step inside.

In the centre of the room there was a huge table with a mock up of the Maze with every details in it. On the edge of the table there were papers and pencils. Minho walked up to me and took a pencil and a paper. He shoved it into my hand and sat down across the table.

“I want you to draw section 8 as you remember it. If you make a mistake that’s fine, but try to remember as accurately as possible.” He ordered and I took a seat and started drawing. It took me about 15 minutes as I had to stop thinking about how the walls were staying or if I didn’t mix it up with section 7 instead. I finished quite quickly, but I wasn’t sure if I didn’t confuse the sections in my head. He took a look at it and closely inspected my drawing. “Good that.” He said and a relieved smile spread across my face. “You only missed one wall, but other than that it’s a flawless job.” He complimented my work and I felt meters above the clouds in happiness.

“I’m just awesome.” I smirked and he scoffed, but a grin appeared on his face too.

“Right, if you say so.” He nudged me and left the Map room. I quickly followed behind.

“How was I though?” I started nagging him.

“Good enough.” He said with a bored tone.

“What do you mean good enough? I was better than I expected myself to be.” I hook my hand in his arm and looked up at him. He looked down at me and shook his head.

“Fine, than you were better than enough.” I laughed.

“Woah, don’t force yourself much.” I punched his shoulder slightly. I let go of his arm as we entered the kitchen to avoid the suspicious looks. We grabbed each a plate and sat down with Alby, Newt and the greenie.

“How was it?” Newt asked me immediately as I sat my plate on the table.

“I’m a born Runner.” I stated proudly.

“Healthy self-confidence you’ve got there.” Minho scoffed, but he very obviously tried to keep a smile from revealing itself.

“You know I was good, you just don’t dare to compliment me, because you don’t want it to get to my head.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“If you know me so well, then why do I even have to reply to anything you say?” He asked shoving another spoon-full into his mouth.

“I wouldn’t want to prevent you from listening to your own voice. I know how much you love yourself.” I chuckled at his ‘I can’t handle anymore of this bullshit’ expression.

“Why do I have to listen to all this klunk all day long?” He shook his head.

“You know you love it.” I grinned and continued eating.

Chapter Text

It’s been a week or so since I first entered the Maze. I started getting more and more familiar with the changing patterns and the routes I took. I felt confident in myself when running through. Almost everyday I ran with Minho, however I did have some runs with Ben too as Minho had things to take care of. The other runners weren’t allowed with me just yet as they were less experienced than the two previously mentioned.

For some reason however I felt very uncomfortable. Minho was very distant and barely talked to me. I thought my confession didn’t change anything as he acted as if nothing happened for a while, but then he kept avoiding me. When we were out in the Maze, other than where we were heading or when we would take a break, he didn’t talk to me. Even when we were back at the Glade, he left me alone as soon as we finished in the Map Room.

I started getting annoyed as his ignorance made me question my knowledge too. He was explaining the numbering sections and was teaching me the pattern before, but it all stopped and I felt like I had to figure everything out myself. I didn’t mind as I knew they did the same when they first started running, but I just didn’t understand what changed from explaining everything, to not even communicating.

“Argh…” I groaned when I arrived to the concert walls. I wasn’t in a good mood and I lost all my positivity when I saw Ben being under the weather too. “Yay, we both look very lively.” I stated and he let out a tired groan.

“I don’t want to be here today. Let’s just get it over with.” He said and threw his backpack over his back.

“As quick as possible.” I agreed.

The doors started opening and we ran through them as soon as we had enough space, without waiting for them to fully retreat. We took corners, ran through corridors, went out to the outer circles, but it all looked the same as before. However Ben didn’t agree. He had other ideas.

“A while ago” he started. “we found some passages that we thought we should inspect, but than we never actually had time as we would have been late and the doors would have closed. But as we are early today, what do you think about checking them out?” He asked looking at me waiting for an answer.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I replied. “I’m not as experienced yet. Maybe next time we should come with Minho and the three of us would see more.

"Come on, don’t be a wimp.” He teased and I didn’t like his tone. I didn’t feel comfortable and I didn’t have the best feelings about it.

“No, Ben. Let’s wait. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I grabbed his upper arm.

“Then stay here!” He instructed me and wanted to leave but I didn’t let go of him. “Let me go!” He hissed.

“You know I shouldn’t be left alone yet. If you leave I have to go with you and I told you I’m not comfortable with it.” I explained. He pushed on me towards the passage he was previously talking about.

“It seems you have to come with me then.” He said and this time he grabbed my arm, pulling me after himself. I didn’t resist, but I didn’t feel happy about going with him.

We ran through some corridor like passages. I tried to remember the way back but they all looked the same. I tried to memorise the turns we took so I could at least find a way back if that idiotic Ben forgot.

We were running through the passages for about an hour, when I heard a quiet whirring sound coming from afar.

“Ben!” I whispered and tapped his shoulder. “Ben!” I tried louder and he finally turned around with an annoyed expression.

“What?” He asked and I pointed at my ears with one finger and shushed him with the other by putting it on my lips. As his eyes widened I knew he understood my concerns. He nodded with his head to follow him. I went after him taking corners each time, but we didn’t seem to be on the right path.

“I don’t think this is the right way.” I whispered to him, but he just ignored me. Unfortunately right in that moment we arrived to a dead end. I wanted to punch Ben, but I couldn’t risk having an extra package with me while trying to escape. I heard the whirring sound coming closer and not long after I saw its legs appearing at the end of the passage. I looked at Ben who was as terrified as I was. The Griever realised our presence and started closing in on us.

“You go under it, I’m going from its right side.” Ben instructed. As I was told I ran under the monstrosity of a creature and Ben passed it through its right side. However the Griever caught him by surprise when it closed off his way with its leg injuring him. I ran back to him, pulled out my knife and stabbed it into the Griever’s joint, this way letting Ben through. His chest and leg were bleeding, but I didn’t have time to concentrate on that. I started pulling him after me. I didn’t look back. I was told not to ever do so. I heard Ben’s whining but I didn’t care. He had to pull himself together for at least until we got back in to the Glade. It took me a few turns to recognise where we were. I heard the Griever’s significant noise again and started speeding up, but Ben pulled me back.

“Come on, get yourself together.” I shouted at him, but he got slower. I grabbed him under his arm pit, I put one of his arms over my shoulder and let him put half his weight on me. I looked at the watch I got from Minho and I knew we barely had time. I started pulling Ben’s weight, but he was heavier than I expected. I knew we were close, I knew the way back, but I wasn’t sure if we could make it in time.

As we turned at the last corner I saw a couple of the Gladers standing at the door waiting for us to return. My eyes met with Minho’s who immediately ran to us and helped me take Ben back. I heard the metallic grinding noise indicating the doors movement. We sped up and squeezed through the opening before it could close completely. I fell on my knees and Minho put Ben down on the grass. He didn’t lose consciousness, he was just in a lot of pain. Minho called the Med-jacks over with a loud shout.

“You shucking idiot, shuck-face.” I screamed at him, hitting his shoulder. I felt two arms pulling me up and away from him. “You can risk your freaking life as much as you want. You can even commit suicide if you please, but do not dare to risk my life for your own stupidity, you shuck-face.” I screamed. I wanted to lunch at him again, but the arms kept me back.

I saw the Med-jacks taking Ben away and after a few minutes I finally started calming down and stopped resisting the arms that held me back. I looked behind me and saw Minho on one side and Newt on the other.

“Did you calm down a bit?” Newt asked as he let go of my arm. Minho followed his actions.

“No, I didn’t. I will wait until he gets better and I will personally throw him in the Maze and fed him to the Grievers.” I hissed in anger.

“What happened?” Minho asked, seriousness showing only in his voice.

“He wanted to inspect some passages you didn’t have time to before and even though I kept nagging him not to, because I’m still learning the Maze, he didn’t listen. I told him we could come back, the three of us and it would be more practical, but he kept resisting. He wanted to leave me behind. Now I couldn’t let that happen either so I obviously followed him. And of course our best friend, a Griever appeared from who knows where. I had no idea where we were, Ben forgot the way back because he only cared about the passage, didn’t even pay attention to where we were going and then he gets injured. Like what the hell am I supposed to do? So he keeps whining in pain while I try to drag his ass back into the Glade. Well, asshole, it wouldn’t have happened, if you actually listened to me.” I groaned in frustration and started massaging my temple.

“I will take care of it.” Minho said gently. “You should go to the Med-jacks and get yourself checked.”

“I didn’t get injured. I’m fine.” I sighed and after picking up my backpack, I left the boys behind and walked off.

Chapter Text

It was already midnight.

I was sitting under my usual tree at the edge of the Deadheads remembering back to what happened. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t keep my eyes closed even though I tried. I was angry, I was pissed off, I wanted to punch things. I wanted to punch Ben. I was at the verge of crying, I just wanted to let all my frustration out, but it just didn’t seem to want to come. I felt like tension was building up in my body. Tension that I didn’t know how to get rid of.

I heard silent footsteps, but I didn’t look at the arrival. I kept my eyes closed, but even then I could recognise his scent anywhere. He sat down next to me without saying a word. The silence didn’t seem uncomfortable though. I heard him shuffle around to find a better position.

“I’m sorry.” My eyes snapped open.

“For what?” I asked trying to look into his eyes, but his gaze was fixated on the sky.

“For letting you go with him.” He sighed. “I was supposed to be going with you, but last minute I changed my mind.” I was confused.

“You know what? I don’t get you.” I started. “You changed your mind you say. But this isn’t the first time. You have been ignoring me, you have not been talking to me, you have been literally avoiding me and it confuses the hell out of me. What is going on?” I asked in frustration.

“I have been nagged by the guys for a while.” He sighed. “They keep telling me that you like me and I clearly am aware of it as you said yourself, but they keep telling me that they know I like you too and I should finally accept it and I just got fed up and I thought that the best option would be to distance myself if I wanted the rumours to stop.” He explained.

“So basically you are just a coward.” I showed him a thumbs up and turned back to look at the sky.

“You could call it that.” He agreed.

“You know I just don’t get one thing. You don’t like me and that’s that but why do you even care about what others think? I thought the big Minho, the Runner, the Keeper of the Runners wouldn’t care about such minor things.” I said sarcastically and looked back at him.

“Because I don’t know what I feel.” He sighed and I frowned in confusion. “If I didn’t like you, it would be easy. I’d just ignore them. But I don’t actually know what I feel.” His expression looked puzzled. I raised an eyebrow at his sudden burst of honesty.

“Well figure it out then.” I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t have energy to deal with other people’s feelings when even my own ones were scattered around.

“It’s not that simple.” He stated and finally looked at me. Even in his eyes I could see how lost he was. He was new to these feelings. He only had to deal with boys so far, but I wasn’t experienced either. Or at least I didn’t remember if I was.

I felt a sudden confidence boost ran through my body and I did something I never knew I would have the courage to do. I leaned towards Minho and kissed him. His lips were soft even though I thought they would be rough. I slowly started playing with his lips. It came naturally as if my lips knew what to do. But he didn’t kiss back.

I wanted to pull away feeling embarrassed, but he didn’t let me. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me back. He started kissing me passionately playing with my bottom lip. He pushed his tongue out trying to gain entrance and I let him. I silently moaned in pleasure and placed my hand on his chest. His tongue was dancing with mine forcefully. I was taken back by the amount of pleasure he was giving me. I wanted to get lost in his arms, but he started slowing down and soon parted us.

I looked straight into his eyes and I could see the same feelings I felt. Passion, care and the will to get lost in the moment. But it mixed with confusion. He didn’t know how he felt. I leaned back to the trunk of the tree and looked back at the sky. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know why I did it, let alone why he returned it.

“Let’s forget about that.” He said scratching the back of his neck. I saw every movement of his from my side vision. I scoffed. I felt broken. Let’s ignore it, let’s pretend it never happened, but forgetting about it was a strong word of use.

“Sure.” I replied plainly. “Go ahead.”

“What do you expect me to do then?” His frustration was very clear.

“I don’t expect anything. I can very well pretend that nothing happened, but I can not forget. I’m sorry.” I shrugged my shoulders and started getting up, when he grabbed my wrist.

“I don’t understand you.” He sighed looking straight into my eyes.

“You don’t understand me? Me?” I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. “I don’t understand you. I know what I feel and I know how to handle it. Yes, it was my mistake to kiss you, but so far I went along with everything you have done. You ignored me and I didn’t say anything. You didn’t talk to me and so I went to Ben or Newt when I needed something. You avoided me so I didn’t go near you. What else do you want from me? If you didn’t realise we haven’t found a way out of this place yet therefore I’m sorry, but I can’t just disappear. Or at least I’m not planning on getting myself stung so you can just get rid of me.” I pulled my wrist out of his hands. “Sort yourself out.” I said angrily and walked off.

I headed towards my room when Newt stopped me along the way.

“I didn’t eavesdrop or peep, but what just happened…” I didn’t let him finish it.

“Please just ignore it. I do not want to hear about it any more. It was a mistake from both of us and that’s that.” I said and left the dumbfounded boy behind. I didn’t want to think about anything but my bed and sleeping.

Chapter Text

I got up early morning, put a sandwich and a bottle of water into my bag and got some bread from the kitchen to eat as breakfast. I sat down on the ground in front of the doors of the Maze and waited for it to open. I wasn’t even sure who my partner was supposed to be as I expected Minho to be still avoiding me after what happened last night and Ben was still in the Med-hut recovering.

I didn’t have to wait for long to know though. The asian boy was jogging towards where I was sitting, along with the newbie, Thomas. I heard he was officially becoming a Runner too, but I had never seen him exercising with Minho so I wasn’t sure of the rumours as I was mostly out in the Maze. They both nodded as a greeting and I returned it. I stood up as I heard the usual sound of the opening doors. I couldn’t wait for a day off. I just wanted to rest for a bit. I still wasn’t over the Griever attack from the day before. There was just too much to process from the attack to the kiss.

As the doors fully opened, we ran in. I let them go in front of me as I watched Minho explaining something to Thomas. We got to a junction where one way lead to section 5 while the other lead to section 4. I wasn’t sure where we were going so I just followed the boys, but they halted.

“We will go to section 5 and you will be going to section 4.” Minho said firmly. I was surprised as I wasn’t supposed to be alone just yet. At least that’s what I thought he said, but then I remembered. He was just being a coward again, not wanting to be in the same place with me. I nodded and ran past them towards section 4. I was very unhappy about the situation as it was the same way Ben found the passage we got attacked in. I didn’t want to go back there alone, but I didn’t have a choice.

I ran through the familiar ways seeing Ben’s blood on the ground. The Maze changed over night, but the main route stayed the same. I walked through the last few meters, being still conscious of what happened the day before. I was hiding behind the walls and taking short glances at the section before me.

I felt betrayed. Minho knew what happened the day before, still he decided to send me alone. I was disappointed in him. I didn’t expect him to understand as we don’t all think the same way, but I, at least expected him to show a bit of compassion. I was just plain wrong to think so.

I sat down in front of the wall I was hiding behind and leaned backwards. I took out the sandwich and the bottle of water and started munching on it. I wasn’t hungry and I didn’t have much appetite, but I needed the energy. I heard a distant whirring sound and I placed my things back into my bag. I jumped up and took a quick look from behind the wall. It was the same Griever. I couldn’t have missed it as my knife was reflecting the sun’s light back deep from its leg. I started backing off slowly, but the whirring sound got closer. I turned around and not wasting time I started running as fast as I possibly could. I took turns, ran through corridors. I even fell down at some point, but I stood up faster than I though I physically could. When I finally didn’t hear the sound of the Griever, I slowed down and looked behind me. There was nothing but the Maze.

I realised that I was at a very unfamiliar place. I was lost. I didn’t go through all the sections with Minho yet and I didn’t pay attention when I was trying to escape from the Griever. As I jogged towards the open area, I saw section 3 mounting over me. I only had one thought. “Shit!”

I walked closer to the outer circle of the Maze. I was trying to find at least one of the sections I felt familiar with. I ran through the enormous walls showing the number of the sections. For some reason I ended up in section 6 from section 3 and I started losing hope. I looked at my watch that showed I had one hour left before the doors closed for the night. I took a deep breath and stopped myself from panicking. I had to find a way no matter what and I knew I was capable of doing it. I jus needed to collect my thoughts.

I sat down and closed my eyes. I remembered back to the mock up of the Maze in the Map Room. Section 6 was on the other side of the table from the side of the North door. Meaning if I wanted to go back to the East door, I would have had to go left.

I jumped up and started running to where I thought was the correct path. I felt like I was running out of breath but I didn’t stop though. I looked down at my watch and I saw I had only 10 minutes left. I felt relieved when I saw the familiar path of section 5 coming along even though I knew I still wasn’t close to the doors. I assumed Minho and Thomas were already back at the Glade as I didn’t see them and they were supposed to look around section 5. I turned to the right and found the main route we arrived in. I sped up as fast as I could when I felt the ground shake. I turned the corner and saw the doors in front of me with the Gladers standing in between. I ran as fast as I never thought I could and fell on the Glade’s ground just before the doors closed. I was panting as I kneeled in front of the gigantic walls.

“Second day in a raw that you are coming back late.” I heard Minho’s voice. I turned towards him still trying to get as much oxygen in to my lungs as I could.

“I will punch you.” I breathed out every word and the boys around me gasped. He raised an eyebrow. He tried to help me up, but I pushed his hand away. “Don’t touch me!” I hissed. I stood up unsteadily and walked to the Homestead. I walked into my room and dropped myself on the bed. I knew I should have gone to the Map Room, but I was exhausted and just didn’t give a damn.

Chapter Text

A loud knock came from my door and I let out a groan in frustration. I didn’t want to see anyone and I definitely wasn’t in a social mood.

“I’m not here.” I replied and the person chuckled on the other side.

“So who is talking then?” Newt asked as he pushed his head in, next to the opening of the door. “Can I come in?”

“You are already in, so why even ask?” I groaned once again.

“What happened?” He sat down on the corner of the mattress. For a moment I was debating if I wanted to tell him, but then I made my decision .

“I met a Griever again.” He frowned at me. “And it was the very same one from yesterday” I stated. His eyes widened.

“How is that possible? I thought you all went out together. I found it strange when they came back without you.” He said. “Why were you even alone?” I sourly laughed at his question, but even I didn’t know the answer. I laid down on the mattress and concentrated on the ceiling.

“I honestly don’t know, Newt. Minho sent me back alone to the same place we got attacked at, yesterday.” I sighed. “Like he was trying to tell me to get myself killed.” I felt tears rolling down on my cheek. I put my hand under my head not caring about the tears. “I was terrified, but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of admitting it, you know? And I thought I wasn’t supposed to be alone. He said I wouldn’t until we went through all the sections. And we didn’t. When I saw the Griever I ran and I got lost. I didn’t know where I was.” I sat up and hid my face in my hands while he put his hand on my shoulder. “The only reason I got out was because I remembered the mock up Maze in the Map Room. If I didn’t memorise that, I would still be inside with my newest best friend.” I referred to the Griever chuckling bitterly while tears still were falling down on my cheek.

“I can talk some sense into him. You know he is my best friend.” He stood up but I stopped him. “I’m not going to let him do this. He isn’t his usual self. He has risked your life the second time. First he sent you out with Ben. Yes, that did happen before, but that time he was supposed to be your partner. Then now, he sends you out alone when you didn’t even finish exploring the Maze just yet. He is being reckless.” He tried to pull his wrist out of my hold, but I didn’t let him.

“I’m fine and that’s what matters.” I sighed. “Please don’t get involved in it.” I pleaded.

“So what?” He frowned. “Am I just supposed to be sitting around until you get yourself killed?” He sat back next to me. “I can not just pretend as if nothing happened, when Minho is being a slinthead.”

“To be fair, this way I might just learn more about the Maze. This way I will be done finding stuff instead of being told where they are.” I smiled gently.

“Yes, up until you won’t return once, because you can’t find a way back.” He argued. I shook my head and wanted to continue but a knock on the door stopped me.

“Who’s that?” I asked suspiciously.

“Minho.” I heard the reply and rolled my eyes in return. Newt looked at me, one eyebrow raised.

“Stay outside.” Newt replied and I chuckled.

“Very funny.” He said still standing in front of the door.

“What do you think, how long would it take for him to give up standing there?” I grinned at Newt.

“Do you want to try?” He snickered.

“You do realise I can hear everything, right?” Minho interrupted our little conversation. I sighed and soon spoke.

“Come in.” He opened the door and stopped half way in the middle of the room.

“I wanted to talk to you.” He looked straight at me not even acknowledging Newt.

“However I don’t want to talk to you.” I stated. “We were in the middle of a conversation and you interrupted it.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. Newt stood up as a gentle smile appeared on his face.

“You should talk to him.” He said and turned around. “And you should stop being a slinthead.” He said to Minho and left my room.

Minho stood in the middle of the room awkwardly. I didn’t want to make it easier for him. I didn’t speak. He came closer and sat down on my mattress. At first he was just playing with his hands and I started getting tired of the silence. But finally he got the courage and opened his mouth.

“What happened today?” He asked not even looking at me.

“Nothing.” I said nonchalantly.

“What happened in the Maze? Why did you get back so late?” I scoffed and shook my head.

“Just forget it.” I replied standing up and searching for some cloths for the next day. I expected him to understand without words being said, but it didn’t seem to work. I expected him to try to feel compassion, but he didn’t seem to be able to do that either.

“If it was not important, you wouldn’t have had a go at me earlier.” He opened his arms indicating he didn’t understand a thing.

“Are you really this stupid?” I stood up now looking down at him. “Do you really not have common sense at all?” I sighed and shook my head.

“Is it because I sent you alone today? I thought you already knew the route. I did go to section 4 with you.” He tried to defend himself, but I just laughed out loud painfully.

“What a slinthead you are.” I rubbed my neck to calm myself down. “I was attacked the day before and you didn’t even think about taking that into consideration. You didn’t think about me might not being very much on the top after such a day. No, you sent me alone to the section where we were attacked, you sent me alone even though you told me you wouldn’t do so until we have covered all the sections and then you are coming here as if you are being clueless. In two days I met a Griever twice, Minho. But you know what? At least this way I covered section 3, 5 and even 6 thanks to you.” I hissed the last few words at him. “I didn’t just get chased by a Griever today, but I also got lost. But let’s be grateful, you will have less job because only section 1 and 2 left for you to show me.” I just couldn’t hold back my sarcastic remarks anymore. Even his presence annoyed me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” He sighed. “I thought you would be fine. I didn’t even know you were attacked in section 4.”

“You didn’t have to, Minho. But you could have showed compassion and not get rid of me at the first opportunity.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asked and I just gasped.

“What?” I shook my head. “Get out.” I pointed at the door. “Next time when I’m close to a deadly situation, I will just go ahead and ask for you permission to die. You wouldn’t even recognise a situation like that either.” I hissed and kept my finger pointing at the door. “I said get out.” He slowly stood up and as he passed me, he apologised again. I was just too tired for this bullshit.

Chapter Text

The next day I woke up to a knock on my door.

“What?” I asked with a hoarse voice.

“Can I come in?” I groaned. I didn’t want to see him and especially not early morning looking like a complete mess.

“No! Stay there and tell me what you want.” I replied and hid my head in my pillow.

“Are you being serious? Do I really have to talk to your door?” He scoffed.

“Not necessarily. You can even leave as far as I’m concerned.” But he definitely didn’t leave. I heard the door open and close. “That didn’t sound like you were leaving.” I said still hiding in my pillow. “Have you not heard of the expression ‘permission to enter’? It actually means you don’t go in to somewhere you are not being invited to.” I explained with cynicism clearly showing in my voice.

“I’m not planning on talking to a door.” He said as I felt his weight on the mattress.

“Oh my, your image would be ruined. What a waste.” I snickered sarcastically.

“Look, I’m just here to apologise. I’m sorry. I really am sorry. I’ve done some stupid things lately. More than some to be fair and I really do feel sorry about them.” He sounded very silent and I could barely hear his voice. I turned around to look at him. I sat up and leaned to the wall.

“And so everything is good now just because you apologised? Oh please.” I chuckled dry. “It’s not working like that.”

“I’m not saying it is. I’m just saying I’m sorry and if I could I would change the things I’ve done, but I can’t. The only thing I can do is pay attention in the future and I will.” He looked straight into my eyes and for some reason I believed him.

“Then don’t be a coward.” I said simply. He smirked and nodded. “Fine then.” I shook my head as I surrendered. “Now get out, I have to change.” I said and pushed on him.

“For what?” He frowned but seconds later he understood. “Oh you are not going to the Maze. I sent Jason and Will already.”

“Oh…” I was surprised but I was waiting for this well deserved rest day. “Still get out, I want to grab something to eat and I need to change.

"I don’t mind.” He said and stayed put.

“I’m not going to change in front of you. Now get your sorry ass out of here.” I pushed him down off the mattress and got out of the blanket. He was still standing in the middle of the opened door. “Out!” I shouted playfully and he finally closed the door behind him. I put on the cloths I chose the day before and looked down on the pile of cloths laying on the ground. I didn’t wash my cloths for a week or so and it was very apparent that I needed to.

I walked out of my room while Minho was still standing there waiting for me.

“Looking refreshed.” He smirked.

“Does that mean I looked bad before?” My eyes widened, but luckily he didn’t see the smirk hidden in the corner of my mouth.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He grinned and started walking away.

“With that head of yours, I’m not even sure you know what you think.” I teased.

“What does that supposed to mean?” He frowned.

“Nothing, nothing.” I waved in front of me innocently.

We walked to the kitchen and sat down at the closest table. I felt like I could eat a whole mountain. I started stuffing my face as a complete opposite of a lady. I saw Minho laughing at me, but I just shrugged my shoulders and ignored him.

“Y/N.” I heard someone calling me. I pushed the hanging piece of pasta into my mouth and looked up. Ben was standing there full of bandages and little scars showing on his skin.. “I wanted to apologise.” He kept looking at the ground.

“I’m up here.” I interrupted him rudely.

“Erm.. yeah, I’m sorry about what happened. I know I was reckless and I should have taken you into consideration too, but I didn’t. I know I screwed up big time, but I just hope you will eventually forgive me.” He kept looking around.

“Can you say that while actually looking at me?” I sounded savage. He was surprised but actually done what I asked. He repeated almost the same thing, but this time looking right into my eyes. “You see, it wasn’t that hard.” I motioned towards the seat next to me. “Take a plate and get your ass over here.” He smirked and went back to Frypan for a plate then returned to take his place.

“You seem to be on a roll today. Two apologies in a row? I’m jealous.” Minho joked around.

“Two?” Ben asked between two bites.

“I was the first one.” He nodded. “You got her in trouble two days ago and I got her in trouble yesterday.” He kept nodding awkwardly.

“I seem to attract troublesome people around me.” I shook my head jokingly.

“But good looking ones.” Minho winked at me. I was surprised at his reactions. He got this quite flirty attitude that I didn’t experience much of before.

“Yeah sure, I will let you believe that.” I grinned. He put his hand to his chest as if he was in pain.

“I’m hurt.” I laughed out loud at his very bad acting.

“That was horrible. Please don’t ever consider an acting carrier.” I snickered.

“Why don’t you two start dating by the way?” Ben interrupted. I just rolled my eyes.

“Not again. It’s actually getting very tiring.” I sighed.

“Well why are we not dating after all?” Minho asked and I was dumbfounded. First time in my life I didn’t know how to react and it got me all flustered.

“Because we aren’t.” I said uncertainly.

“Exactly, that was the question. Why not?” Minho pushed.

“Because I’m too good for you.” I replied cunningly. He scoffed on the opposite side of the table. Ben chuckled at my response and continued.

“Well, you would definitely make a cute couple.” He said finishing off his plate. “I will see you around later.” He stood up and took away his dishes.

“Are you out of your mind?” I asked Minho.

“Tell me that was not funny.” He chuckled.

“It was not. What was I supposed to say?” I still felt shocked.

“I don’t know. Something along the lines of; I’m hopelessly in love with Minho, but he is a slinthead and won’t return my feelings.” He acted trying to copy my voice. I laughed at his attempt.

“Or something along the truth such as; I’m too good for such a shuck-face, I wouldn’t waste my precious time on him.” I replied.

“We all know you have a soft spot for me.” His smug smirk sat across his face comfortably showing off his dimples.

“I just want to wipe that smile off your face.” I hissed but my grin didn’t seem to want to leave my lips.

Chapter Text

The next few days Minho introduced me to section 1 and 2 this way completing my training. As a last trial, he let me lead as he instructed me which sections he wanted to check out. He was trying to see if I could get from one section to another without going back on to the main path. Even I was proud of how quickly I reacted at his requests. It seemed I started getting comfortable in between the passages.

After a couple of days he even let me go with the other runners. I went with Ben at first, as we did before, then I was coupled up with Will, Jason and last Hank. I started getting along with the guys as I finally wasn’t treated differently. I even went out with Thomas for both of our surprise.

It was almost time for the doors to close when Hank and I returned to the Glade, laughing. He was an average looking guy, barely taller than me with brown hair and brown eyes and a very bad sense of humour. He was rather tiring than funny, but it did help the mood when someone felt down.

“Do you want me to list any more of my precious lines?” He asked winking at me.

“I’m begging you, please don’t. I already gave up an hour ago.” I said half crying, half dying of laughter.

“Okay, just a few more and I will let you live peacefully.” He smirked. “Is that a mirror in your pocket?” He asked and I shook my head already preparing myself for some ridiculous answer. “Cause I can see myself in your pants!” There was a few seconds awkward silence between us.

“That was a very bad one.” I tried to keep a straight face, but I did start chuckling not long after.

“Okay okay, give me another chance.” He scoffed at my response and as he opened his mouth along with a huge grin, I knew I was done for. “My love for you is like diarrhoea.” He stopped for a dramatic moment and I frowned at the weird sentence. “I just can’t hold it in.” I glanced at him with blank eyes for a second, before bursting into laughter and tripping over my own feet. I fell on my stomach, but I rolled around to lay on my back to be able to laugh. I pulled my legs to my stomach to relieve the pain I had from laughter and tripping over.

“I hate you.” I screamed jokingly, while trying to get up. He reached for my hand and pulled me up. “Remind me, never to go with you again.” I pushed on his shoulder.

“I know, you are secretly enjoying it.” He smirked. We almost reached the Map Room’s door, when we realised Minho was standing there.

“You seem to be concentrating more on having fun rather than doing your job.” He said in a bitter tone and our smiles disappeared in seconds.

“Slim it, Minho.” I talked back. “We were just having a laugh. We would all go crazy if we just ran trying to find something that has been hidden for years, don’t you think?” I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“That’s exactly the reason why you should concentrate even more.” He replied without a change of expression.

“If you want to be boring, then go ahead, but I’m not planning on joining you.” I scoffed and walked past him into the Map Room.

“You have guts.” Hank chuckled as he closed the door behind himself. “He would have chopped the little me off if it was me.” I giggled at his use of words.

“Let me tell you a secret. Girls are privileged, you know? You say we are weaker, but that is not the case. Man are physically stronger and have a better stamina, that might be true, but women are more cunning, more manipulative. They always get what they want. You better learn that.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

It took us abut 10 minutes to draw some new passages and changes we have found and we headed to the kitchen. Then I decided to take a shower first and then get some food. I went to my room and picked up some of my clean cloths and a towel and went straight for the steaming hot water.

“Are you here?” I heard Minho’s voice and I didn’t even know what to do in that situation. I was stunned at his bravery. I was about to attack him for walking in while I was having a shower, but then I realised a naked woman running to a man, might not be the best of the options at hand.

“Yes?” It sounded more like a question.

“Can we talk?” He continued and I wasn’t sure if he was plain dumb or he was doing it on purpose.

“I’m having a shower. So I’m assuming it can wait.” I said with an ironic tone.

“I’m good.” He said and I just felt the grin on his face without looking at him.

“I’m not.” I hissed.

“I don’t mind.” He replied.

“You are very clearly getting on my nervous.” I said while peeped my head out of the shower curtain, hiding the rest of my body. “Would you mind leaving, please?” I looked straight into his dark eyes.

“I would.” He grinned at the sight of me.

“Minho, I’m asking you the last time. Get your ass out of here.” I hissed. I felt every effort of mine was ineffective. His grin just grew bigger.

“What will you do if I don’t?” He walked closer. I went back into the shower and closed the water. I wrapped the towel around my body, only showing my lower body from mid-thigh and opened the curtain. I took my boots that were placed in front of the curtain indicating someone was inside - most definitely me - and I threw one at him.

“I will torture you.” I said fuming at him.

“With that sight, I’m only getting enjoyment out of it.” He chuckled.

“You pervert!” I shouted at him throwing the other pair of the boots at him. He started running away and I was about to follow him, but then I remembered my state and walked back behind the curtain to dress up. I barely dried myself, I just wanted to catch that idiot.

I got out of the shower and started looking for Minho.

“Get back here you shuck-face.” I screamed. I was walking around in bare foot and I felt everything from stones to dirt under my feet. “I will personally carve your eyes out.”

“Uhh… you changed.” He smirked but was acting as if he was disappointed. “I preferred your previous look.”

“You are dead meat!” I ran after him. “Give me my boots back, you pervert.” I screamed and some of the guys came out of the kitchen. “I will cut you into pieces while you are still breathing and will force Frypan to make a stew out of you. Give me my boots back.” I screamed and as I was getting closer I jumped and threw myself at him. I landed right on top of his back as he fell on to the ground. I took my boots from his hand and held them up in the air. “Who’s the winner, slinthead?!” I grinned and was about to stand up, when he moved under me holding onto my thighs and making me drop my shoes and grab onto his neck. “Put me down!” I hit his shoulder as he stood up.

“Don’t wanna.” He replied ignorantly and started leaning back, pretending to drop me.

“Don’t you dare! You are playing with fire, Minho.” I grabbed his neck from the front trying to make him faint. But I wasn’t a professional. I didn’t even know what I was doing.

“Can’t you feel how scared I am? I’m so terrified of you.” He joked, but I just ignored him and started hitting his back.

“Put me down you slinthead shuck-face!” I screamed, but he didn’t give a klunk. “Put me down before I’ll do something I’ll regret.” I warned him quietly, but he just grinned without a care in the world. I leaned closer to his ear, brushing it with my lips.

Chapter Text

“Put me down you slinthead shuck-face!” I screamed, but he didn’t give a klunk. “Put me down before I’ll do something I’ll regret.” I warned him quietly, but he just grinned without a care in the world. I leaned closer to his ear, brushing it with my lips.

“You can’t say I didn’t warn you.” I whispered quietly and bit the piece of flash in between his shoulder and neck.

“Hey!” He shouted at me and made me jump as he threw me up on his back. “That was uncalled for shuck-face.” He whined.

“I told you so.” I whispered still leaning to his ears. “So, what’s it gonna be?” I felt him adjusting his body under my weight, but he didn’t seem to want to put me down. “Are you sill resisting?” I chuckled. “I can keep going.” I muttered and bit his ear lobe. He let out a pleased moan and my eyes widened in surprise.

“Stop doing that.” His voice had a warning tone to it and I stopped immediately. “Don’t do that again.”

“I won’t.” I said and tried to get off his back.

“I didn’t say I will let you go though.” He said turning his face towards me, a grin finding its way back.

“You just told me to stop, but you won’t? How is that fair to you?” I scoffed.

“I never said I played fair.” He smirked and started walking.

“Finally, get a room you two.” I heard a boy’s voice and saw a bunch of guys standing in front of the kitchen entrance starring at us.

“Why should we? It seems that you are enjoying the show.” His cocky tone made me chuckle.

“Well, so far this has been the most interesting scenery in the Glade so can’t complain.” Newt said raising his glass at us. Minho just showed his middle finger to him and we headed towards the Lookout tree.

“What are we doing here?” I asked in confusion.

“Just go up, I will be back in a bit.” He instructed me as he put my boots on the ground and ran away. I didn’t understand a thing, but I climbed up the ladder and sat down in the corner of the fence. It didn’t take long for Minho to come back and when I saw him bringing his backpack up, I felt even more confused.

“What’s that for?” I asked curiously.

“It’s a surprise.” He said smirking and sat down beside me. He opened his bag and gave me a metal box. I unlocked the latch on it and a smile appeared on my face.

“You saved my life.” I said relieved seeing the unrecognisable but appealing food in front of me.

“I knew you’d be hungry.” He shrugged his shoulders and started eating quietly. “You seem to get along with the rest of the Runners.” He stated.

“Yeah pretty much. Since you finally let me go with them, they kind of accepted me.” I explained. “At first I thought it would be harder though. I’m a girl after all.” I continued. “But we started getting along quite quickly.”

“You are rather close to Hank, huh?” There was something in his voice I couldn’t place, but I just ignored it.

“I mean it’s hard not to. He is a goof ball.” I smiled as I filled up my mouth looking like a hamster. “He has a very unique kind of sense of humour. The kind where you can’t decide if you should laugh or punch him in the face.” I chuckled.

“Sounds like you are getting along.” He started nodding. He seemed strange, but I just couldn’t place his behaviour anywhere.

“Is everything okay? You seem a bit weird today.” I cut to the chase.

“Yeah, I’m all good.” He replied vaguely. I squinted at him trying to read his expression, but he hid it very well.

“You don’t seem so.” I pushed.

“Nah, it’s nothing in particular.” He shrugged and silence fell on us. I finished with my food, placed the cutlery inside and closed the lock. I pulled Minho’s bag pack closer to me and put the empty box inside. “Does it look like my bag is a trash can?” He asked jokingly.

“You brought it, you take it.” I smirked and spread my arms expansively.

“I’m blessed to have you around me.” He said sarcastically.

“You know you love it deep down in the farthest corner of your heart.” I winked proudly.

“Think what you want.” He scoffed, but I saw his lips twitch. He wanted to smile. He finished his food and placed his box in his bag too.

“So when you do that, that’s not a problem, huh? Double standard much?” I complained.

“It’s my bag, I can do whatever I want with it.” He grinned. I leaned back to the fence and moved around a bit to find a convenient position, if of course sitting on wooden logs was any way convenient. A comfortable silence took place but I didn’t mind. I was tired and being able to sit next to Minho and relaxing somehow made me feel content. He started searching for something in his bag and took out a thin dark blanket. I looked up at him as he placed it on both of us, not being able to understand the situation, but I accepted it without a word. I pulled my legs on my side and took the courage to place my head on Minho’s shoulder. He didn’t move or say anything. He didn’t seem to mind. He just placed his head on the top of mine and I felt his shoulders relax under me.

I wasn’t sure if it was Minho’s presence or I was just very tired, but I fell asleep in seconds. Somehow I felt a happy feeling in the pit of my stomach and I just wanted to capture it and hold it as long as I could. I felt content. I knew in the Glade or in the Maze something always ruined the mood so I just hang on to the feeling desperately as I entered my dreams. And there were indeed dreams, not nightmares.

Chapter Text

When I woke up my body was aching from the hard structure under me. I started touching it to understand what made my morning so uncomfortable. I felt like I was feeling wood under my hands, but it didn’t make sense. My bed was soft and comfortable and I didn’t understand how it could suddenly feel so different. When I tried to open my eyes, I immediately had to close them back. The sun was burning my retina. I tried a couple of more times before I could keep them open even while squinting. I sat up and looked around realising I was up on the Lookout tree. I needed a few seconds to realise how I got up there, but Minho’s hoodie under my had quickly reminded me. My left side was in excruciating pain, my legs felt like they were full of needles and my back was numb from neck to hip.

I started getting up realising the blanket was on me too. I was smiling at the thought of Minho leaving me cared for. I put his hoodie on me and placed the blanket on my shoulders before climbing down the tree. I didn’t have to think much about where Minho went as I knew he was already in the Maze. Keeper of the Runners after all with much responsibility.

“Did someone have a long night?” I heard Newt’s voice and as I turned around he winked at me with a cheeky smile. I just scoffed at his perverted chain of thoughts, which I didn’t even want to know about.

“It’s nothing like you think.” He just chuckled.

“I didn’t even say anything so if you thought of something perverted it means you are the one with the dirty thoughts.” He smirked confidently.

“Bye!” I said simply and walked away.

“Hey!” He shouted after me. “Don’t just leave me here.” He hooked his arm into mine. “I saw you up there yesterday night. You were quite cozy to be honest.” He chuckled and his behaviour started to annoy me. “I’m being serious now, Y/N.” His tone changed completely. His tone sounded lower than before and when I looked at him, he had a serious expression on. “He likes you.” I opened my mouth to scold him for saying stupid things again but I decided to just ignore it. He had to stop at some point. Or at least I thought. “He is flirting with you as much as he can. He gets jealous at Hank. He takes you to an unofficial romantic date on the Lookout tree for the night. How can you not see it?” He asked opening his arms in disbelief.

“Newt?” I asked to get his attention. He looked at me curiously. “Are you not getting tired of seeing things that are not there?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Are you not getting tired of not seeing things that are there?” He asked in response. “It can not get any more obvious. I mean unless he confesses, of course.” He chuckled.

“I’m very serious. There is not nor will be anything between us. I like him, but it ends there. He doesn’t have feelings for me and I completely accepted it, but by bringing it up you are making it very hard for me, so can you please stop?”

“Okay, fine. Let’s try one last thing. If he still doesn’t respond and you still think he doesn’t like you, I promise I will never ever bring this subject up and will accept that I was wrong.” He said seriously.

“What’s the catch?” I asked suspiciously.

“There’s none. If he really doesn’t like you, you will stay as you are. A Runner and her Keeper. However if I’m right and he likes you, you finally get to know his real feelings.” He explained as if it was the most obvious thing.

“I’m listening.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Let’s make him jealous.” He spat it out without any warning or heads up. I scratched the back of my neck trying to understand his way of thinking, but I didn’t get anywhere.

“And how did you imagine that?” I asked. “He knows we are friends and he is your best friend. No person with a common sense would be jealous of us.” I exclaimed.

“When people like someone, they lose common sense.” He explained and I frowned.

“How would you know? When did you become an expert?” I tilted my head waiting for his reply.

“I didn’t, but I just feel like I know.” He didn’t really reassure me, but I accepted it. It’s not like I was any more of an expert myself.

“Fine, so what kind of an idea is in your little head?” I smiled.

“No worries, I will lead.” He said with a cheeky smile appearing on his face. I wasn’t sure if I should have been scared or simply do as he said, but I decided to just go with the flow.

We went to the Fields where I helped him out cutting some branches of the trees and shovelling the ground, but then I got lazy and decided to sit down. I got some death glares from Newt but I just ignored him. I didn’t feel like getting sweaty and I definitely didn’t feel like getting dirt all over me. I was sweating enough in the Maze and I didn’t need that on my day offs.

“Very helpful.” He said simply while throwing a bunch of leaves at me. I gasped in disbelief and threw it back at him. We were playing like this until Alby appeared in our vision. Pretending to work I picked up a shovel and started pushing it in to the ground and then removed it with soil on it. As soon as he left I threw the shovel away and sat back.

“What a good actress, you are.” He chuckled and I returned his reaction.

“I was born to be.” I put my arms around him and started leading him towards the kitchen. “I’m hungry, let’s grab something to eat.” I said and kept pulling him. As we entered, I took the plates, one for me and one for Newt and sat down at the closest table. He immediately started shovelling the food in his mouth, even though I was the hungry one. “Newt?” I asked for his attention.

“Hmm?” He reacted between putting two more bites into his already full mouth.

“Why do you want me and Minho to be together?” The question was hiding in the back of my mind for a while, but then I completely forgot about it until he brought up making Minho jealous.

“I honestly don’t understand either. I just feel like it would be good. For both of you, of course.” I didn’t know if his intentions were genuine or he had something in the back of his mind, but I just accepted his reply without questioning it.

Chapter Text

It’s been a few days since Newt had that stupid idea to make Minho jealous. We did try hugging more, spending more time together when Minho saw us, but it didn’t seem to work. I was disappointed, but I didn’t feel under the weather. I knew from the beginning it wouldn’t work, but Newt kept insisting on continuing. However after a week of trying we both decided to give up. He kept apologising to me for misunderstanding the situation and keeping my hopes up, but I couldn’t blame him. I wished he was right, but I wasn’t surprised about the outcome. I expected it from the very beginning. And even though I didn’t like Newt’s idea from the very start, I appreciated the will to help.

For some reason Alby was in a very good mood and he decided to have a campfire without even having a special event. Everyone started quickly organising before the leader had the time to change his mind.

Everyone was running around bringing bowls of food, pile of woods for the fire, chairs to sit on and blankets to cover ourselves. It was actually a quite warm evening after the sun has left the horizon, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t have gotten chilly later on.

I was sitting on one of the wooden logs, when a familiar face appeared in front of me with a huge smile across it.

“Hey Hank, I thought you were lost in the Maze.” I greeted him. He frowned at my bitter comment.

“Did I miss something?” He asked while took his place next to me.

“That’s what I wanted to ask.” His confusion didn’t seem to want to disappear. “Did I do something? Do you have some kind of an issue with me, that I don’t know of?” I asked curiously and his eyes widen in surprise.

“What on earth are you talking about?” He asked as if I was mentally unstable. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I mean we have not been on a run for quite a while together and I’m unsure if I have done anything to you to get on your wrong side?” I explained hesitantly. His confused expression disappeared quickly, and a huge grin appeared on his face.

“If you have told me sooner that you wanted to spend more time with me, I would have made it happen.” He winked at me and I jokingly pushed him away.

“You shank, that’s not what I meant” I chuckled. “I thought you had a problem with me for some unknown reason and you didn’t want to run with me.” I stated while looking at the fire.

“Y/N, I honestly think you should talk to lover-boy over there.” He said nodding towards the other side of the fire. I followed his direction and my eyes met with a frustrated looking Minho.

“What on earth are you talking about?” I asked looking back at him with a frown appearing on my forehead.

“Since I sat down next to you, I have been killed in about a thousand different ways in his mind.” He grinned. “I mean I’m sure I was stabbed, beaten, chopped up, strangled, tortured and been fed to the Grievers in his head already.” I shook my head and hit his arm.

“You have a very sick mind, you know that, right?” I laughed.

“Think what you want, but you are not feeling the daggers directed at me.” He put his hand to his chest. “Oh my god, I’m dying.” He acted and I had to laugh at his poor acting skills.

“You are very bad at this.” I scoffed. “So you say it was his decision not to put us together and you had nothing to do with it, right?” I changed the mood to a bit more serious tone.

“I mean I would like to run with you, but if lover-boy says no, who am I to argue?” He opened his arms as if he was surrendering himself.

“Then let’s got and talk to him. I want to run with you.” I stated simply and stood up.

“Nah-ah.” He said and pulled me down by my wrist to sit down again. “I do not want to be castrated in anyway. I will keep my balls if you don’t mind.” I laughed out loud at his expression. “I’m being very serious.” He said, but his voice sounded otherwise. “I really do want to run with you and have a laugh while we do our job, but I’m telling you, those daggers are going deeper and deeper the longer I’m sitting with you.” He sighed. “He is being weird.”

“You can not be such a coward, Hank. Man up!” I hated that expression, but if I could get the courage to talk to Minho, then I just didn’t understand his problem. “You are just imagining things. He is just in a bad mood. End of.” I tried to encourage him.

“Nah-ah.” He repeated his previous answer in the same jokey way. “Not happening, butterfly.” I frowned at the nickname, but didn’t dispute it. “That guy is head over hills for you and I’m not risking my precious balls to be chopped off.” He laughed motioning his hands to his trousers and I couldn’t hold the laugh that made me fell off the wooden log.

“Are your balls really that important?” I asked trying to get myself back into a decent position.

“Balls are life. Balls what makes a man. Balls are sensitive, but important. Balls are for also reproduction. Balls should never be harmed.” I was looking at him with wide eyes. I couldn’t believe his monologue of balls.

“I’m unsure how to respond to that.” I chuckled. “I’m not that familiar with balls.” I said laughing out loud.

“Don’t worry, you will get familiar with lover-boy’s balls.” He smirked and I just nudged him.

“You are a shucking pervert.” I grinned and he just shrugged his shoulders. “I will talk to him anyway.” I stated.

“Poor balls.” He said looking down and I just laughed at his stupidity. As I said he had a very weird sense of humour.

“I meant now.” I said and he looked at me shocked.

“I’m out!” He said and immediately walked off as I was laughing at him still keeping his hand in front of his trouser while looking back at me a few times, before starting a conversation with someone.

Chapter Text

I took the courage and walked over to Minho. He looked up at me, but by the look on his face, he didn’t seem to be happy.

“Hey.” I smiled gently. He just nodded in response. “Is everything okay? You seem to be in a quite bad mood.” I nudged him jokingly.

“I am.” He said simply.

“Why is that?” I asked trying to get him to release the tension.

“I don’t think it’s any of your business.” He scoffed and turned towards the fire.

“Oookay, that rudeness was completely unnecessary, but sure keep acting like a child.” I was about to leave when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

“What did you want?” He asked probably realising that he was being a slinthead.

“I just wanted to know why you never put me with Hank on the runs.” I went straight for the subject to avoid spending more than enough time with his moody self.

“What?” He looked at me with a deep frown in between his eyebrows.

“I want to run with Hank, but for some reason you don’t seem to want to put us together. I was just wondering why is that?” I repeated myself.

“What?” He asked again with the same expression.

“I’m starting to get confused.” I said simply. “Am I not saying it clearly?” I frowned.

“I don’t fucking get you.” He said and got up leaving me behind. I never heard him swear and I didn’t understand why I received such a response. I stayed at my place for a few more seconds before getting up and following him.

He was walking towards the Lookout tree but suddenly halted a few inches away from it, making me run into him. I hit my head in his back, but he didn’t react. Not even a sarcastic phrase or a sigh. Nothing. I walked around him and tried to get him to look at me, but he ignored me rudely and continued looking at the ground.

“What on earth is wrong with you?” I asked getting closer to him to look into his eyes, but he turned his head. “Did I do something?” I asked, but no response came. I decided to just give up and walk away. I didn’t have the energy to deal with such behaviour.

“Why?” He asked as he caught my upper arm. “Why do you want to be with Hank?” I frowned at his question.

“Because we are getting along and when I run with him time goes faster.” I explained simply looking back at him.

“And you don’t feel that with any of the other Runners, right? Only Hank.” His bitter tone made me even more confused. I just didn’t understand his reaction.

“What is wrong with you? Can you be clear?” I asked walking back in front of him.

“Why is that you are asking me to put you together with Hank?” His voice sounded angry. “Why not with Ben or Will or whoever really, I don’t even care. Why does it have to be Hank?” He asked almost sounding desperate.

“Because I’m going on runs with everyone but Hank. It wouldn’t be a special request if you hadn’t separated us. I’m frequently out with everyone else, but him and to be fair it makes me think you don’t want us to run together for some reason and I just don’t get it.” I explained.

“No, I do not want you to run with him and no, I will not send you out with him.” He said firmly.

“What? Why?” I asked and finally he looked at me.

“Because I can. Because I’m the Keeper of the Runners and I decided like that.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest as if he was trying to make me feel intimidated.

“Very good use of power, huh? That’s not the kind of person I thought you were.” I spat in disgust.

“And that is not the kind of person I thought you were. At least now I know I should have thought less of you.” He hissed. I was dumbfounded. I was completely lost. I didn’t get anything he said.

“What are you talking about? I’m the same person who I was when I came. What had gotten into you? You are clearly out of your mind.” I got very angry and the confusion in me didn’t help. “You are not telling me what your problem is, but you feel the need to insult me? I don’t get what’s going on in that little head of yours, but you surly are not sane.” I said to him hissing through my teeth. I saw his jaw clench in anger.

“I’m insulting you? You are the one who throws random words at people without thinking about the meaning, than as if nothing happened just forgets about it. I wish I knew you were that kind of person so I wouldn’t have had to waste my time on you.” He growled in anger. I was completely and utterly broken. His words felt like swords stabbing me each and every time he said something offensive. I lost my self control and pushed on him.

“Then talk!” I said and pushed once more. “Tell me, what is your problem?” I pushed again, but he didn’t seem to mind. “What did I do to deserve your insults?” I stood straight in front of him. “Look me in the eye and say it. Stop being a coward and act like a grown ass person!” I shouted and he grabbed my face and pulled me closer. I didn’t know how to react until his lips touched mine. My eyes widened at first, but I couldn’t just let the moment slip. I liked him very much after all. I followed the movement of his lips as we moved in sync. I grabbed his shirt around his waist and pulled him closer. He kept one of his hands on the back of my neck, while his other hand wondered down my body, finally pulling me even closer to himself. I locked my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. We stopped for a second here and there, but we didn’t seem to want to part from each other up until we were gasping for air. He placed his forehead on mine and looked straight into my eyes. “Why?” I asked without explaining. I knew he would understand.

“I don’t know, Y/N.” He closed his eyes for a few seconds. “I don’t know what I want or what I feel. I’m utterly confused and it’s not me. I always know what to do. It makes me feel weak and I don’t want this feeling.”

“What are you feeling?” I tried to get him to open up even more.

“In one second I want to be with you all day and in the next, I hate you for hanging out with Hank.” He shook his head and sighed. “I want to be next to you, I want to do things with you, I want to have fun with you, but at the same time I want to push you away and I just want to forget you are here.” His words hurt, but I didn’t want him to know. I wanted him to open up after all.

“So what are you planning to do?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I just want to be my old self. I don’t want to feel all these new feelings.” He explained and I understood. I took a step back and he let go of my body.

“Then don’t do things like this.” I replied with a sad smile across my face, but I knew he wouldn’t be able to recognise it. “Let’s just go back to a Keeper and Runner relationship. Don’t avoid me, but before you want to talk to me or do something with me, think about it twice if you would do or say the same thing for the other Runners. If not, then just ignore it. Let’s go back to how it should be.” I nodded agreeing to my own words. He looked puzzled, but seemed to agree. I understood and accepted he didn’t want his feelings and there was no other way to try to hide them in the back of his mind.

We kept looking at each other for a while and then went to our rooms without a single word spoken.

Chapter Text

I was in and out of consciousness, I was tired, I could barely move my body. My breathing was limited, my power was nowhere to be found. I was drained. I was rolled around in a wheelchair to get back in my room. When I could finally gain a bit of power to wash my face and clean myself up, I got scared of my own looks. I couldn’t recognise the person in the mirror. Sickly pale skin without even a hint of colour, bones poking through the skin, thin face, bags under the eyes and unwashed hair. My arms and legs were full of needle marks, blood still dripping down from some of them. The person looking back from the mirror was a stranger. I held my head up and looked through the white door’s small glass window meeting two dark brown almost black irises. Those warm eyes were the only thing that kept me alive. But not for long. I felt my body failing in so many ways. I felt I didn’t have much left.

The door opened and the person walked in , closing the door behind himself.

“Minho.” I whispered. I couldn’t talk properly anymore. I wasn’t even able to do such an easy task. He sat down on my bed and I joined him. I felt ashamed for looking like this and showing him such a weak state of mind.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered and hid his face in my neck.“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” I shook my head. “It’s them. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. We could live a happy life, but instead we are being used as lab rats. It is not your fault in any way.” I tried to reassure him.

“If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here.” He growled in anger.

“Minho, they took me too. It had nothing to do with you.” I caressed his face gently.

“No. If I didn’t get injured, you wouldn’t have had to give yourself up.” He pulled me into his chest. I felt safe and calm in his embrace. “If I paid attention and didn’t get injured, you wouldn’t have had to promise them to be an obedient subject of their experiments.” I shook my head.

“Do you really think we could have gotten away?” I looked up into his eyes. “As much as it pains me to say, I don’t think we would have gotten out of here.” I hid my face back in his chest to hide my sadness.

“Back to your room!” I heard a loud voice from the outside. A man in black cloths opened the door and was about to pull Minho away. He pushed his arm away and turned back to me.

“We will find a way. Please don’t give up just yet.” He kissed my forehead and left with the man.

I sat up in my bed and tried to separate my nightmare and reality. I woke up feeling like I haven’t slept even for a second. I did indeed sleep very badly as I was rolling around the mattress like a fish out of the water and even when I felt like being able to sleep properly, my nightmares started. I woke up sweating and frustrated. I was sad and pissed off at the same time. I didn’t understand my dreams and the fact that Minho was in my thoughts in both my sleep and when I was awake just confused me even more. I didn’t understand what I have just dreamt of. If it was real and I finally remembered a part of me or if my mind was playing games.

And if my dreams weren’t confusing enough, my feelings made it even more complicated. I wanted Minho and I had a feeling that I could get whatever I wanted, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to push him too much, after all hating on each other while being locked up in the same place could have been very challenging.

I got out of my bed huffing and puffing early in the morning. I put on my cloths rushing from anger. I just wanted to be out and get some fresh air because my mind was running into self-destruction. When I was finally ready, I started walking towards the gigantic doors. But I couldn’t pay attention. To my surprise, Minho was standing at the entrance. I didn’t expect him to be my partner, after all we had a quite uncomfortable separation on the evening. He didn’t seem to mind though. The only reasonable explanation I could find was that he really took my words to his heart.

“Morning.” I greeted him as I got closer. He looked up at me and nodded. He felt cold, but I wasn’t surprised. I knew things would change if he wanted to get rid of his feelings and I didn’t want to make him feel like I didn’t understand him. Although I didn’t. If it depended on me, I would have given my all. Who cares if the feelings are confusing, who cares if you are unsure, who cares if you don’t know what to do. You would just feel it, you would just enjoy it, you would just have new experiences. But I’m not him. He wanted to forget about his feelings and return back to when I wasn’t here to complicate his life.

I kept looking at him, trying to read his expressions, but I couldn’t. He was hiding them well. I hoped if I kept looking at him, he would finally turn towards me, but he didn’t. He was very much fixated on the concrete walls.

It didn’t take long before we heard the significant sound of the doors and they started opening. He ran off without a word while I followed closely. He gave me some instructions in a very professional tone of voice and left to go on his own. I stood on my place following him with my eyes until he disappeared behind a corner. His behaviour made me question if I have made the right decision in trying to understand him. Now that his behaviour has changed, every time I saw him, every time I talked to him, it was like my chest was about to collapse. Like some well heavy weight was sitting across my chest. I wasn’t sure anymore how to go on as my feelings seemed to confuse my brain and heart as they were trying to battle each other. My brain said to understand his point of view and respect his wishes, but my heart said to go and get him, because he has feelings for me after all.

After a deep sigh I decided to just push the thoughts back into the deepest part of my mind and without a second thought I started running.

Chapter Text

When I got back in the glade I threw myself to the ground and tried to organise my breathing. I didn’t even care that I was on time or that I had barely checked anything. I just wanted to disappear and not think about anything.

“You seem to be different from your usual self.” Newt stated standing above me.

“Let’s not talk about that.” I closed my eyes trying to make him understand that I was not in the mood for his company.

“You do realise that people feel better when they talk things out, right?” He whispered. I opened my eyes trying to understand how his voice came from such close distance and that is when I realised he has sat down next to me on the grass.

“When did you become so wise?” I asked with fake curiosity.

“I am being serious, Y/N. You will feel better.” He kept going on. I sat and pushed myself up in a standing position. “Let’s grab something to eat and let’s have a conversation up on the Lookout tree. What do you think?” He seemed so genuine and I was so desperate for some kind of an advice, even if it’s the worse one of all, that I decided to go with the flow.

“Fine, it’s not like I have anything to lose.” I sighed deeply.

“Believe me, you will feel better.” He winked at me and let out a silent chuckle.

I hooked my arms with his and we walked to the kitchen. We didn’t sit down there however, we just grabbed some sweet breads and went to the Lookout tree. I went up first meanwhile Newt followed closely. We sat down quietly and started eating. We didn’t say a word, just sat there in silence while we could only hear each other’s chewing and the Maze moving. It wasn’t an idillic moment at all, but at least this felt real and something I was able to understand without second guessing it.

“Newt?” I called him almost as if I was whispering. He didn’t reply, but looked at me showing his attention. “How much do you know about Minho and I?” I asked and I could clearly see that he was thinking very hard.

“Well, I know what I know from you, which is barely something and I know what I know from Minho which is even less. So basically I only observe as an outsider from what I see from afar. Why?” He asked curiously.

“I like him. Very much.” I stated honestly.

“I know.” He replied while a gentle smile appeared on his face.

“He has feelings for me.” I stated bluntly. But this time my voice was more sour.

“I also know.” He said, however his expression has changed to a more serious one.

“He doesn’t want to like me though.” I looked at Newt to search for some answers in his eyes.

“I’m aware.” He nodded slowly. “I met him last night and he told me about what happened.” I was waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t seem to want to. I slowly started understanding what he was trying to say by not saying anything.

“I will keep my distance.” I stated and turned away. I didn’t even have to say all those things I wanted to. I only needed to look at him to realise that my feelings needed to be put aside and hidden. I felt like my chest got heavier and heavier and as if a big lump was trying to make my breathing harder.

“Just give him time.” He said silently, but it sounded as if he only said it for my sake.

“Can I ask you for a favour?” I looked straight into his eyes. He nodded. “Please tell me what he has told you. I need to know what he is thinking.” He looked down at his hands that were playing with each other. He took a deep breath and started talking.

“He likes you. He likes you very much, Y/N. And he is fully aware of his feelings. However he is the kind of person who needs to be in control of himself. He can’t handle unexpected feelings well. Let that be simply anger, he can’t control it. And so because he has come across a feeling he has not experienced before, or even if he did he doesn’t remember how he handled it, he is very confused.” He explained. With every word my chest got tighter and tighter. “He wants to forget what he feels for you because he doesn’t know how to handle it.” He sighed and I followed him. “He thinks it will be easy to just put his feelings aside, but I don’t think he understand how much he likes you.” In a way I was happy to hear that he was feeling very strongly towards me, but in the same time it made it even harder. “Just give him time.”

“Newt?”

“Hmm?” He looked at me.

“Are we talking about the same person?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” He asked confused.

“Minho isn’t the kind of person who will change his mind about such thing. Just think about how  difficult it was for me to become a runner. I was thrown into the pit because noone wanted to even consider the fact that I could be a good runner. Just remember how long it took for him to realise that I’m ready for the Maze. I had to pass out and exhaust all my energy. The only time he considers changing his mind is if an unexpected and very radical thing happens. And that will not happen when we are talking about feelings.” I shook my head. “Please, please say it. Say that we will not have a chance.”

“I can’t do that, Y/N. I don’t want to lie.” He frowned.

“How is it a lie, when that’s the most logical way of thinking?” I shook my head. “Just say that we have no chance to be together and that will help me get over it. Please.” I asked him almost begging. I had to hear it from him. Someone that knew us both very well.

“Y/N..”

“Just say it!” I growled in frustration.

“Alright. I don’t think you will ever have a chance to be together.” He sighed deeply as if he had to tell me the worst news I could have received. As much as it pained me, I knew I had to accept it. I knew it was true and even though I wanted Minho to just come up to me and take his words back, I knew it was just a wish.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him painfully.

“This is not how I imagined this conversation.” He shook his head. “I planned to make you feel better.”

“I will be. This is not the end of the world. Feelings are coming and going, I guess.” I smiled gently.

Chapter Text

Only a week has passed since Minho decided to get rid of his feelings. I have been very unwell, trying to hide my own. It took me more effort than I expected and I was desperate for a change. For something new to come along.

As if my wishes have been heard, a loud banging noise and the shaking ground indicated a new arrival. I was sitting with my back at the concrete wall surrounding the Glade, just getting lost in my thoughts. I was, however trying to also pay attention to the newbie who seemed to cause a commotion. I started feeling very irritated when the boys standing around the box kept looking up and down between me and the arrival. I decided to stand up and check out what made them so surprised. I barely reached the box when Thomas and Newt helped to lift up a body and some other boys pulled it out. I frowned at the situation unfolding.

“What is going on here?” I asked in confusion.

“She is a girl.” Newt stated. I could only form an ‘o’ with my lips. I know it sounds stupid, but in a way I felt threatened by her. I haven’t even seen her or talked to her, but the fact that I wasn’t the only girl in the Glade anymore, gave me a weird feeling.

“What happened to her?” I asked.

“She just passed out.” Newt replied. “However, it seems she knows Tommy. She said his name before she passed out.”

“Yep, familiar situation.” I stated remembering back when I recalled Minho’s name.

“Strange. It seems we have only got two people who has any kind of memories and both of them are girls. Could it be some kind of a pattern? Maybe a solution we can’t see yet?” He started thinking out loud.

“I don’t think you should read much into it.” I shrugged my shoulders and started walking towards the opposite concrete wall.

“This way, you will have a best friend you can share all of you worries with.” Newt chirped happily.

“Yay!” I replied in a bored, sarcastic tone.

“I love your enthusiasm.” He laughed.

“So do I.” I waved at him and left him behind.

I imagined my day off relaxing and doing nothing. I just wanted to sit around and pretend to not be in the Glade or even not to exist. Since Minho decided that it would be better for us to just stay in a working relationship, we didn’t have much communication, unless necessary. And to be honest most of the runners were out or busy with something and Newt was curious about the newbie too so I have been left alone with my thoughts.

Up until another commotion started…

I heard shouting coming from afar along with screams and loud banging. I stood up and slowly started getting closer to the source of the problem. When I was close enough I recognised the new girl up on the Lookout tree throwing things at people standing around. There were fruits, kitchen utensils, cloths and many things I couldn’t even see as they were being thrown that fast. I walked closer and listened to what was going on.

“Please come down and let’s talk.” Alby shouted, but in reply, he got an orange thrown at him. “I can’t believe it. I have been trying for 10 minutes, what’s wrong with this woman?” Alby whispered, but I could just hear it. He looked straight at me as if he was trying to ask me for help. He would have never said it though so I decided to give it a try. Not like I had anything better to do anyway. I walked up to the front and looked up at the tree. The girl was holding a kitchen utensil in her hand and it seemed to be of a heavy material as she was trying to balance it while her hands were shaking frantically .

“Oi!” I shouted up. She looked down at me with anger clearly showing on her face. “Would you please stop throwing things at the guys and stop shouting?” I asked in a firm tone. “I don’t really mind whatever you do, but you disturbed my rest and I do not take that lightly.” I warned her.

“No. They keep harassing me.” She screamed and her voice annoyed my ears. I wasn’t sure if it was because I already felt a strangely negative feeling towards her or because she was simply really annoying for me, but I couldn’t see myself getting any closer to her than necessary. Unless it was my fist getting closer to her face to shut her up.

“They didn’t harass you, they tried to help you. Which you should be grateful for, instead of acting like a child.” I scolded her.

“No, they tried to touch me.” She shouted.

“You shuck-face, you passed out! They just wanted to make sure you were okay. Be happy it wasn’t me, otherwise I would have let you rot in the box.” I replied in a very frustrated tone. She started to get on my nervous very quickly and lately my self-control wasn’t one of my strength to begin with. “And if you throw one more of an item of your collections at us, I will drag you down myself, are we clear? Now get yourself together and get down here before I decide to go up for you, which believe me, you will not appreciate.” I saw her hesitating while she was still holding onto a pan looking object.

“Now!” I shouted up at her. She jumped a bit, but finally decided to climb down.

“Nice job.” I heard a very familiar voice that became more of a privilege to hear recently. I nodded in response. “You should help her. You might become friends.” He said in a genuine tone. I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and crossed my arms in front of my chest in disbelief.

“Nah.” I said simply and walked away. I stopped next to Newt who had a huge grin appearing on his face. He put his arm around my shoulders and laughed.

“That’s my girl. I’m so lucky to have you.” He started hugging me.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… enough touching for one day.” I pushed him away jokingly.

“But, when Minho…” I didn’t let him finish it, because I wasn’t sure if Minho was still standing around.

“Just zip it, will you?” I asked and he leaned closer to my ear in response.

“He is looking very curiously. Should I push his buttons?” He whispered and as much as it was tempting, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I put my palm right on his face and pushed him away. “That was completely unnecessary.” He shouted.

“I think I can decide what’s necessary and what’s not necessary for me.” I winked at him and walked back to my comfortably cold concrete wall.

Chapter Text

Days passed by and the only reason my mood started getting better was because Newt was always next to me. At first I thought I would be ignored after the new girl, Teresa arrived, but he actually stayed by my side, making fun of people when I was down or telling me random jokes that weren’t at all funny. His presence was a blessing as it made me think less of Minho.

However occasionally, when I came back from a run with the guys and my eyes met Minho’s, he just looked away quickly as if he didn’t even want to know I existed. When we talked about his feelings, I told him to behave with me like he does with everyone else. But it clearly skipped his mind, because he ignored me in every possible way. And was I annoyed? Can’t even describe how much. I knew he wanted to forget his feelings, I knew he wanted to keep a formal working relationship, but his weird behaviour made it very difficult to get along.

I was running in the Maze along with Thomas, trying to find a way out as usual, but nothing seemed out of place. I started getting bored of always seeing the same thing and the fact that we didn’t see anything new, frustrated me. There had to be a way out or a way in, whatever it would be called and it seemed strange that even after years noone has found anything.

As we have arrived to the doors, way ahead of time, a worried Hank welcomed me back. His face showed pain. I didn’t have to wait for him much longer to speak up.

“Newt.” He said simply and my eyes widened. “He got injured.” I didn’t wait for him to continue, I ran to the Mad-hut, almost ripping out the door. My eyes immediately snapped over to the blonde man half sitting, half laying on the bed. I ran to him and without a word I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him into a strong hug.

“Y/N, I can’t breath.” He struggled with his words. I let go of the hold, but stayed close enough to his face to be intimidating.

“What did you do, you shuck-face?” I groaned in frustration.

“Nothing, we were just joking around and I fell off the Lookout tree. But I was already climbing down, so it’s only a sprained ankle.” He tried to explain, but I was way too furious.

“Well guess what. I don’t care if you are dying or if it’s just a sprain, do not ever dare to scare me like that again or I will make sure to end your life when you recovered.” I threatened him, but he just grinned in response.

“Aren’t you cute, when you are worried?” He asked jokingly, but I just groaned at him. I knew he was trying to annoy me on purpose, but he still succeeded.

“Just slim it and pay attention shuck-face.” I said and flicked his forehead in frustration.

“Hey!” He complained and started scratching the middle of his forehead. I retreated a bit to give him some space and that’s when I realised the third person in the room as he let out an awkward cough. At once I felt like a little ant. I didn’t want him to see this scene and misunderstand the situation. I nodded acknowledging his presence and he returned it. “I should get injured more often so I can see you get worried about me.” He chuckled.

“Slinthead.” I said simply and walked towards the door.

“Come on, don’t leave, I’m just teasing you.” He tried to convince me to stay, but I didn’t feel like it.

“Too late, hope you are in pain.” I said with an evil grin while leaving them behind.

Hours went by, while I was trying to make myself busy. I went to the Map-room straight after I left Newt, but even I didn’t understand why as I had nothing to map up. Then I took my time in the kitchen munching on one bit of food for minutes if not more. At last, after I felt like time has stopped, I just walked back to the Med-hut with a bag of snacks from Frypan to check on Newt. I knocked on the door and a tired voice granted access to me.

“Y/N.” He smiled gently as I closed the door behind me. “You missed me already?” He smirked. He didn’t seem to be unwell and I wanted to facepalm myself for getting so worked up about his injury earlier.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… think what you want.” I let it go this time. I placed the bag of snacks next to him on a wooden drawer.

“Is it for me?” He asked looking at the transparent packaging containing different types of food.

“No, I brought them so later I can take them back. What do you think, slinthead?” I questioned while rolling my eyes.

“Even when you try to be harsh, it’s still cute.” He chuckled and I shook my head annoyed. “I loved your little stunt when you visited me. God, did you have an impact on Minho.” He laughed out loud. I frowned in confusion, unable to understand what he meant. I didn’t have to ask though, he continued without a word from me. “When you left, he acted so weird. He didn’t know how to take your behaviour. He even asked me if we were dating.” I looked at him eagerly waiting for him to continue. “Of course, I said to him that we didn’t, but just to tease him a bit, I also told him that I wouldn’t have mind if we did.” He smirked.

“What? Are you insane? Why did you do that?” I asked in disbelief. I hid my face in my palms and sighed heavily.

“For the response I expected to get.” He smiled as I opened my fingers, - while still hiding my face - to be able to look at him. “He was furious. He said he doesn’t ever want to see us together. He said it would probably be even more painful than getting stung by a Griever. So I said to him that he can’t expect you not to start liking someone else, when he has rejected you already.” He stopped for a dramatic break and I wanted to suffocate him for that. “He said he knew he shouldn’t have gotten confused about his feelings and that he could have handled it differently, but he doesn’t know how to correct it. He said he would turn back time if he could, because if he has to see you with someone other than him, he will probably go mental.” Newt smiled at me gently, but I just stood up and started walking to the door. “Do you not want to hear the rest of it?” He asked frowning.

“No, I don’t.” I sighed. “You see, I can’t keep this push and pull relationship up. I told him I liked him the first time, which he reacted by ignoring me after. Then by ignoring me, he got me in trouble. Then he became all sweet again by apologising and acting as if nothing happened. Then he got confused about his feelings and instead of asking me to be with him, he decided to forget his feelings. Or at least to act like that. And instead of once again coming to me and talking to me, I hear all of this from you.” I shook my head in frustration. “I understand it’s hard, but I can’t keep doing this. If he can’t follow his feelings and he can’t convey his feelings either, that is not my fault.” I explained desperately.

“But, he did convey them.” I shook my head as he interrupted me.

“He never actually physically said he liked me. Just that he has had feelings for me. And to be fair, even if he liked me, - because that is what we all think - he doesn’t want to. So for the last time Newt, I don’t ever want to talk about Minho or our feelings again.” I said firmly and walked out the door without a second thought.

Chapter Text

I was running in the Maze as if there was no tomorrow. It was getting dark, I was out of breath and I barely had any time left before the doors were about to close on me. I couldn’t sleep properly after my conversation with Newt and it affected my physical state. I wasn’t as fast as I would have been on other days. I wasn’t even as stable which made it harder to control my whole body. I felt light headed and my mind was playing games which caused me to get a head injury earlier. The blood was still flowing down my forehead, but I tried to ignore it. I had no time to care about such trivial things at that moment. I tried to run as fast as I could, but I felt like I was running on the same damn spot.

When I saw the last turn and my eyes fixated on the opening of the concrete walls, I felt an immediate relief. I smiled to myself and ran as quick as I could. I barely threw myself in the Glade just before the doors closed behind me. I heard the boys’ voice, but I didn’t want to pay attention. I was laying across the grass in a calm state not even bothered to open my eyes. I slowly felt them getting heavier and without a fight, I gave in.

He was standing in front of my door with a sorrow expression sitting across his face. I didn’t understand what happened and I wanted to get up to open the door for him and ask him, if everything was okay, but I was too weak to do so. He opened the door himself, walked up to me and sat down on the side of the bed. He caressed my cheeks and cupped them in between his big manly hands. I tried to smile at his gentle movements, but I didn’t even have energy left to do that.

“They will send me in tomorrow. I heard them talking about it yesterday, Minho.” I whispered. I couldn’t even raise my voice to a normal tone anymore.

“They will not.” He replied, confidence clearly showing in his voice.

“What do you mean?” I asked trying to understand. “I heard them myself.”

“I know, Y/N.” He turned his head towards the door. “But I will not let that happen.” He shook his head. “You are not in such state to go anywhere. You are barely alive and I can not let them do this to you.”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to get him to explain it to me.

“I will go in, instead of you.” He replied.

“No!” I objected, but he just shook his head.

“How can you expect me to just let you go in such a state? You can’t even get up anymore.” He raised his voice. “I can’t see you like this and I definitely can’t let them take you in such a weak condition so they can just let you die. I will not let that happen and that is my decision.”

“No, you can’t make a decision like that. They will not agree nor will I. I refuse to accept it. I will go as it was originally planned.” A gentle smile appeared on his face while he ran his hands down on my arm to finally link our fingers.

“You see, they already agreed. Right after I have heard what happened, I asked the guard to take me to the lab.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I told them that I wanted to be part of the trials before you. It took them a while to discuss it but they agreed for whatever reason. I don’t even care to be honest.” He squeezed my hands and looked into my eyes. “You don’t have to worry anymore.” I couldn’t stop myself and laughed at him with a bitter tone.

“I don’t have to worry, huh?” I continued laughing. “You see Minho, up until now I wasn’t worried. I thought what has to happen to me, will happen anyway.” I released his hands and ran my fingers through my hair. “But now I am worried. And not just worried, but angry. I worry because you decided to go to an environment where you very clearly know that you can get injured or even worse, die. I am worried because I don’t know how I will survive here without you. I am worried because from on this moment I have no other things in my mind but how on earth I will get you out of there. And I am very angry because you decided to make this decision on your own without even thinking about discussing it with me.” He got hold of my hands again and linked our fingers.

“You are a strong girl, and you will do just fine without me too. You do not have to worry about me. I just want you to concentrate on getting stronger and healthier. I know it is hard especially with all the tests, but you must promise me that you will fight with all the power you have. Promise me.” His voice sounded desperate and I wanted to make him feel at ease. Even though I didn’t feel like I could get better, deep down something moved in me. I wanted to fight. I didn’t want to give up anymore. Not for me. For Minho.

“I promise.” I smiled at him weakly and pulled him closer until our lips met.

“What is going on with her?” I heard a familiar voice. “Did she get a concussion?” The previous boy continued. I couldn’t make a difference between what I have just dreamed of and what I thought was reality. I started opening my eyes once, twice, three times, when finally they decided to stay open on their own, after numerous blinking.

“That is what I assume. I stitched up the wound, so hopefully she will be…” He stopped for a second when our eyes met. “Oh, Y/N you are awake?” I just blinked at Clint not understanding what happened. “How are you feeling? Do you feel dizzy?”

“I’m okay. Just my head hurts a bit.” I explained.

“That’s normal, you probably also got a concussion. I will ask you to stay here a bit more until you recover, okay?” He waited for a reply, while a gentle smile spread across his face.

“Yeah, I guess.” I turned to my other side where Newt was standing next to me with a worried expression, clearly unable to hide it. “I am okay. Really.” I tried to convince him. However his raised eyebrow and bored expression made it very clear that he didn’t believe a word I said.

“Yeah, like I would believe that. Bloody hell Y/N, you were covered in blood. You were lucky you got back in time.” He scolded me.

“Just relax. I am back and I am not dangerously injured either. It’s all fine.” He just growled at me, but didn’t talk back.

As much as I appreciated Newt’s attention, I couldn’t focus on it. I was worried about my dreams. They started becoming more and more like reality and it scared me. I couldn’t possibly believe that there have ever been anything between me and Minho and I was honestly thinking I was going mental. What if my mind was destroying itself and it started creating all these weird images. What if I have something in my system which makes me hallucinate. I was so concerned about my dreams that I was thinking of every possibility which could have caused me to imagine unrealistic situations. I felt like my mind was playing a stupid game with me and it was winning. I was even questioning my sanity.

Chapter Text

I woke up to a very strong headache. Almost as if my brain was trying to hammer its way out of my skull. It was even worse than the day before. Although last night Clint told me that I was ready to leave on the following day, I wasn’t sure that his diagnosis was correct. A sick person shouldn’t be discharged when one’s condition is deteriorating. But who am I to question that. Medical knowledge was never my strength.

I took of my duvet and tried to stand up. It took me a couple of attempts before I was steady on my feet. I put on my boots and my jacket and walked up to a mirror I have not seen before. Looking into it, I realised the scar going across my temple. I touched it out of curiosity, but I hissed in pain as it was still soar. I turned around and decided to leave the med-hut and grab some food.

As I closed the door behind me and looked up, my eyes met the two most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I felt privileged that I could look into them even if just for seconds. But even though I expected the owner to turn away, he didn’t. He stood there looking at me without a single movement. We kept looking at each other. Noone of us wanted to turn away. However I started feeling awkward and decided that this had to end. I let go of the door handle and started walking towards the Kitchen.

“Are you feeling better?” His voice sounded just as perfect as before. And just as it was in my dreams. It scared me.

“I’m fine.” I replied without turning around. I was about to leave when he grabbed my wrist gently, just enough to be able to stop me.

“If you need any help, let me know.” He almost whispered. I turned around confused.

“As I said, I am fine. I can handle it from here. And if I am feeling unwell, I will be going to the Med-hut. Thank you.” I pulled my arm out of his hold and continued towards the Kitchen.

As I have arrived, I took a plate of unrecognisable food and sat down next to Newt. He didn’t even realise my presence, but to be completely honest, I didn’t mind. I saw Alby sitting across the table along with Thomas and the new girl, Teresa. I didn’t really have much communications with her, but I was just fine with that.

As I was shoving the food in my mouth, I kept looking towards Teresa. She was playing with her long brown hair while explaining something to Thomas in a happy tone. He didn’t seem to mind as he returned the gesture. They were lost in their conversation completely ignoring everyone around them.

I turned towards Newt, but he was still fixated on his plate. He didn’t seem to realise anyone’s presence for that matter. His blond locks fell into his eyes, covering half of his face, but he didn’t even mind. I poked his shoulder to get some reaction out of him, but I wasn’t successful. I tried again, but luck wasn’t on my side. This time I pinched his arm, which made him jump.

“Y/N!” He looked at me with a surprised expression. “When did you arrive? I didn’t even realise you were here.” He kept blinking continuously in confusion.

“I know. I have been trying to get your attention for a while, but you didn’t seem to be here.” I explained. “Is everything okay?” I asked placing one of my hands on his shoulder.

“Yes, of course. Everything is just fine.” But I didn’t believe him.

“Then why are you so out of it?” I kept questioning him.

“I am not. Really. I was just lost in my thoughts. Nothing special.” He started blabbering nonsense.

“Come on Newt. Do I look like a fool to you?” I leaned closer trying to initiate an eye contact. I knew he was unable to lie when looking straight into someone’s eyes.

“No, of course you are not.” He sighed deeply. “I am just worried.” I frowned at his reply. I wanted to question him, but he continued on his own. “We have been here for so long and I am loosing faith. Are we ever going to get out?” He ran his fingers through his thick blonde hair and started playing with his food. “I mean, I am a Keeper. I have to be confident, I have to believe, I have to lead. But what if I am loosing hope?” He took another deep breath. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Newt!” I gently grabbed his chin and forced him to turn towards me. “If there’s a way in, there’s a way out. Yes, it might be very difficult to escape, but do not lose faith. You know very well that they had to somehow organise the whole Glade and the Maze. They had to come in somewhere. We just have to find that place.” An understanding smile appeared on my face. “You can question when we will get out, you can question why we can not find the way out, but never question hope. There is definitely a way to escape and it means your hope can not die. It’s not even a question of hope, it’s a question of when. Sooner or later we will find a way. There’s no other option.” I squeezed his hand with passion. “We will get out and you have to tell that to your mind. It needs to stop telling you bullshit.” He chuckled at my words.

“Thank you Y/N. You don’t understand how much this means to me.” I patted his back.

“What are friends for?!” I smiled and took my plates back to the counter. I decided to rest as my headache didn’t seem to get better. I walked back to my room, changed to a more comfortable outfit and tried to sleep. However it seemed like a very difficult task to do. I was rolling from left to right, from back to stomach. It got me frustrated. I started taking deep breaths to calm myself down and it just seemed to work. My eyes started getting heavier and by the time I was about to turn again, I fell into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

“Guard!” I shouted to the man standing outside in completely black cloths. “I want to talk to the doctors.” I heard him talking over his radio, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. I didn’t have to wait for long, before he unlocked my door, grabbed my arm and started leading me towards the lab. The corridor walls were white, with a blue horizontal line crossing on the middle. The ceiling had bright long lights laying across it, making the white paint turn into a bluish colour. People were walking around in lab coats with plastic boards and test papers in their hands almost bumping into each other as they were deeply lost in their thoughts. 

As we were walking further I was looking through the windows of each of the rooms. They kept all the children separately to test their newest theories of… of… “I couldn’t remember”. The kids I saw in the rooms were not even human anymore. They were skinny, weak and barely alive. I remembered how I was just like them 591 days ago. Yes, I was counting the days indeed. I wanted to be with Minho and the fact that I couldn’t, made me desperate. I promised him to stay alive and get stronger. And so I did. That’s why it was so hard to look at the kids suffering. They had no determination, no goal to survive anymore. But I have had.

“Good morning.” One of the doctors greeted me as we stepped inside the lab, but he didn’t even look up from his paperwork. “How can I help you, Y/N?” He was short and chubby with a moustache and beard. A thick brown framed glass was sitting across his cheeks. He was going bold, but he was trying to hide it with a very obvious toupee which didn’t even match his own hair colour.

“I want to go to the Maze. I want to do the trial.” I stated simply. He looked up at me with raised eyebrows and a curious look in his eyes.

“And may I ask why is that?” He asked adjusting his glasses on his crooked nose.

“Because I want to.” I replied mysteriously.

“And would you explain to me why you made this decision?” He asked elbowing on his notes.

“You let Minho go instead of me. Now let me go too.” My voice never sounded so powerful before.

“Yes, indeed but that was an exception. After such recovery which you have showed us, why would we want to send you for the trials? Keeping you here is beneficial for our tests.” He explained. “Give me one good reason to let you go into the Maze. And don’t even try to use Minho as an excuse. You know very well that your memories are going to be wiped out. You will not remember him and he already forgot about you. You will be a nobody to him.” He smirked at his brilliance.

“Yes, I will be a nobody. But I rather suffer through years of not knowing who I am, then to stay here. And you know very well, that I will sabotage your tests, just as I have been doing it in the past couple of weeks. I was only beginning to show my true colour. You’ve seen nothing so far. You can keep me here while I will be demonstrating how someone desperate can destroy years of work, or you can let me go and test me as you wish there.” The look on his face was of serious thoughts. He was well aware of my test results in the last couple of days. I have made sure to get useless readings each time, this way they had no use of me.

“You know, with the chip we will be able to control your mind, right?” He asked trying to threaten me.

“I don’t care.” I shook my head.

“Fine. Let it be. You will be sent up soon.” He nodded and turned back to his paperwork. The guard grabbed my arm again and started pulling me back to my room. I wanted to feel happy, I wanted to feel the victory, but somehow I just couldn’t. I was relieved that I could see Minho again, even if we wouldn’t recognise each other. But I was scared about what the future was holding for us.

When I woke up, I realised the sun was still up. Or was it up again? My head was throbbing and I felt hot. I was once again worked up about a new dream and I was getting tired of them. I felt like never wanting to sleep again. I couldn’t understand why I was getting all these imaginations. I couldn’t believe that it could have been reality. I was just trying to push them to the back of my mind.

As I dressed up and walked out of my room, I saw some familiar faces lazing around. Their change of clothes made me realise that I indeed slept through the day. I didn’t even have to question it when my stomach loudly growled at me. I felt like I was doing nothing but eating and sleeping lately and I didn’t fancy such a lazy, useless life-style. I walked to the Kitchen and grabbed some food to satisfy the beast, in other words my stomach.

As I finished my food, I walked out of the kitchen and fixated my eyes on a very handsome view. The sun was strong and bright and I just couldn’t take my eyes off of how the drops of sweat were reflecting the sun’s powerful light as they were rolling down his toned half-naked body. He was exercising to keep himself in shape, but he was also doing so, to get rid of his unneeded energy. As he turned around still sternly continuing his exercise, I saw something. Something that I was hoping my mind created only. Something that I was wishing not to be true.

I started walking up to Minho, almost in a daze. I completely lost control of my body. My mind was leading me as if it wanted to get a confirmation. Minho stopped his exercising as I was getting closer to him. I saw the confusion on his face when I stopped in front of him with a blank expression.

“When did you get this?” I asked him while pulling my finger across the scar on his shoulder. He looked down to understand what I was talking about.

“Oh, that. I am not really sure.” He replied. “I already had it when I arrived.” My eyes widened and the only thing I could think of was the dream I had about Minho getting shot. It looked just like a scar left after a gunshot.

“No.” I whispered. I looked back up at him to see an utterly confused expression in his eyes. I didn’t have the energy to explain or to understand completely. I just wanted to forget all the dreams I had. I was afraid to remember or to know more. I knew if such a key part of my dreams were to be true, than all of them had to be. It scared me too much. I shook my head and whispering ‘headache’ I walked back to my room and laid across my bed. I just needed some rest. Yes, that will solve all this mess. I needed some dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

I woke up to someone gently knocking on my door. It wasn’t loud, but was loud enough to get on my nervous. I growled in annoyance, but spoke up.

“Who’s that?” I asked without a hint of curiosity.

“It’s me. Minho.” My eyes opened up in nanoseconds. I didn’t feel like talking to him. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to him. “Can I come in?” He tried again, but I was so confused about what I wanted. “Please.” I shook my head and made my decision.

“Come in.” I sat up slowly on my bed while he entered my room and sat down at the end of my mattress.

“I was worried about you.” He sighed while playing with his fingers. “You seemed off yesterday.” He said.

“What do you mean yesterday?” I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

“When you walked up to me while exercising.” He explained.

“I really need to get myself checked. I keep sleeping and eating only.” I frowned.

“It’s normal, you suffered a head injury.” He smiled gently still looking down on his hands. “I wanted to know what that was about. You acted weird. As if you knew something I didn’t.” He looked up at me. Straight into my eyes.

“I’m sorry, Minho. I really don’t want to talk about it now.” I sighed tiredly.

“Please. You seem to know more than any of us. And I know you know more about me. I need to know.” He was almost begging me and it made it so hard to resist. But I wasn’t even sure what was reality and what was part of my hallucinations.

“I can’t. I don’t know, Minho. It’s too much for me now.” I tried to make him go away, but for some reason I knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

“I need to know if you remember anything about me.” He said firmly.

“But I don’t even know if they are true or not. It’s just all so confusing.” I wanted him to understand my side, but he didn’t seem to. He moved closer and cupped my face in his big hands. It reminded me of the dream I had earlier.

“Stop!” I pushed his hand away and jumped up from my bed. “What do you want to hear? I know nothing about you. I only know what I have been dreaming about and I don’t even know if half of it is true.” I raised my voice in frustration. “I am not going to go and tell you all about it, when even I don’t know what is reality and what’s not.” I tried to explain to him, but I wasn’t successful.

“I don’t care if even just 0.1% of what you know is the truth. That’s still more than my knowledge. At least you got something. I am working with a completely blank mind here.” He stood up and started walking up and down trying to collect himself. “Just give me something. You know about my wound. How did I get it?” I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I didn’t know if I should be answering to his questions. I let out a deep sigh and just gave in.

“You got shot.” His eyes widened in disbelief.

“What?” He frowned. “Why?” I was thinking very hard. I wasn’t sure if honesty was the best option, but I couldn’t have lied about it.

“You were trying to get us out of the laboratory.” I explained.

“Us? Laboratory?” He sat down on the side of my bed once again.

“They were keeping us in a laboratory and they were doing tests on us. We wanted to escape and so we ran, but you got shot and I got caught.” I explained while keeping a deep sigh down in my chest which was ready to escape.

“They shot me because we were trying to escape?” He asked looking down on the floor.

“Yes.” I replied.

“And I knew you before?” I felt the heaviness come back into my chest. I was scared to talk about it. He was to forget about his feelings and now I was bringing all this up. I felt so stupid.

“Yes.” I nodded.

“What happened after?” He frowned.

“They healed you and they did tests on us.” I said briefly, but he didn’t seem to believe me so easily.

“Is that it?” He knew I was leaving some parts out. But I was trying my best to stay close to the simple facts rather than going into details.

“Yes.” He shook his head in reply.

“I don’t believe you.” He sighed. “I want you to be honest with me. They wouldn’t have just saved me unless I was someone special, which is hard to believe, so please, tell me what happened.” His tone became more gentle.

“When you got shot, I was really scared. There was only one way to save you.” I was playing with my fingers nervously.  "Which was to go under their experiments. And they accepted my conditions.“ I looked up into his eyes but I immediately realised how bad of a decision that was.

"You became their fucking lab-rat, just to save my life?” He asked while standing up. He seemed more worked up about it than I expected “And after, I just let them do to you shit knows what?”

“Not exactly.” I shook my head. He stopped a couple of inches away from me. “They did all the same experiments on you too. And you saved my life later. So we are even.” I smiled sourly. “You see, it’s all good.” I started walking out of the room as fast as I could. I needed some fresh air, otherwise I felt like I was about to faint.

I barely arrived to the middle of the glade trying to get something to eat, when my wrist became imprisoned. I turned around and I saw a very angry and confused Minho standing behind me.

“You can’t just leave me there like that.” He shook his head while frowning. “I need to know everything, please.” He almost begged me and it made me feel so weak.

“What do you want me to say?” I turned to face him completely. “I told you everything.” I said trying to avoid the subject.

“No, you didn’t. I know you didn’t. I feel it.” He stepped closer. “Why would you save me. Why did I save you. What did I have to save you from. How did I know you?” He bombarded me with questions.

“Does it really matter. We saved each other and that’s that. We are good.” I kept pushing his questions away.

“No, we are not good. I know there’s something else. Something that you don’t want to tell me.” He kept going on. “I feel it.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. Can’t you just understand that I don’t want to talk about it?” I shouted. “Even if there are things I am not telling you, it’s not necessary for you to know them. They don’t matter anymore. Why are you trying to…” I tried to continue but he pulled me closer and kissed me. I tried to push him away numerous times but I couldn’t. He was stronger and I felt weak in his arms. I was longing for his lips for so long and I couldn’t physically resist him anymore. It felt good to be embraced by him.

Chapter Text

“No, we are not good. I know there’s something else. Something that you don’t want to tell me.” He kept going on. “I feel it.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. Can’t you just understand that I don’t want to talk about it?” I shouted. “Even if there are things I am not telling you, it’s not necessary for you to know them. They don’t matter anymore. Why are you trying to…” I tried to continue but he pulled me closer and kissed me. I tried to push him away numerous times but I couldn’t. He was stronger and I felt weak in his arms. I was longing for his lips for so long and I couldn’t physically resist him anymore. It felt good to be embraced by him.

“Please.” He begged me as we parted, but he still kept me close to him by holding onto my waist.

“Why? Why do you have to make it so hard? It really doesn’t matter anymore. Please understand that.” I was almost begging him this time.

“It matters to me. They are my memories as well, but for some reason I can’t get them back.” He replied desperately.

“Maybe you can’t remember because they are not as important to you as they are to me.” I explained, but I immediately regretted my words.

“What?” He let go of my waist and took a step back. Anger was clearly showing in his eyes. “Do you really take me for the kind of person who apparently saves your life and forgets about it because it is not that important? I hope you are just having a laugh.” He was furious and I knew I screwed it up.

“That’s not what I meant, Minho.” I tried to save the situation.

“Then what did you mean? Because by the way I look at it, that is exactly what you said.” He hissed in anger.

“I meant whatever I am not telling you might not be important to you anymore, that is why you can’t remember.” I explained.

“Then tell me, so I can decide if it is important to me enough.” He asked but this time there was no gentle tone to his voice. It was pure anger.

“Fine. Then listen carefully, because I will not repeat myself.” I spit it in anger. “You got shot, because we tried to escape. You were dying so I made a decision on my own. I agreed to be a willing part of their experiments if they saved you. They also put you under tests, but I didn’t know they would do the same to you. Anyway, it weakened me. I could barely walk or even take care of myself, so when they wanted to send me here, into the Glade, you took my place to save me. You were weak too, but they didn’t destroy you as much as they did to me. You made me promise to get better. And so I did. I worked very hard to get healthy again and so when the time came I made another agreement with them. They let me come after you. So now I am here. Are you happy now? Do you know everything?” I growled. I couldn’t believe I just told him almost everything.

“I loved you, didn’t I?” He asked frowning. I felt like thousands of needles penetrating my chest. His use of past tense was something I was not prepared for.

“Yes, you did.” I replied shortly. I didn’t have energy for more than those 3 words. Seconds passed by, but we didn’t say a word. Then minutes went by, but we were still standing in silence. I looked up at him and I wished I didn’t. His blank expression broke my heart once again. I sighed deeply and walked away. I couldn’t handle that atmosphere anymore.

“Did you love me?” He asked to my surprise. I turned around and frowned.

“Why else would I have come after you?” I asked. “Yes, I did.” I made sure to use past tense. It was easier like that. Or so I thought.

“And do you still love me?” My eyes widened in disbelief.

“Minho, please don’t.” I shook my head. “I told you what I knew, because you really wanted to know. But I don’t want to go into this conversation.” I turned around and continued while walking away. “We talked about it and we came to a decision. Let’s keep it that way. It’s been working.” I couldn’t believe that he was so stupid not to understand that I was trying to get over him.

“I love you.” I halted without a second thought and turned around in milliseconds. “I love you, Y/n.” I couldn’t believe my eyes, my ears. I stood there in silence for a few seconds before I burst into a bitter laughter.

“Right. You might think it’s funny to say it, but it’s not.” I was still laughing sourly. “Just because you loved me before, you don’t have to act like you still do. Oh my god, I feel so stupid. Don’t you? It was such a mistake to tell you.” I couldn’t stop laughing, but this time tears joined to it. “I sincerely thought, you genuinely had feelings for me before, but right now I feel so dumb that it even crossed my mind. Oh my god, how can someone be such a moron. I am ashamed of me. I can’t believe this.” I didn’t even realise that he was only standing a couple of inches away from me. He cupped my face into his hands and kissed my forehead while I was ranting about whatever I was saying at that moment. To shut me up, he kept hinting little kisses on my lips and it seemed to be working. Not long after I finally did quiet down.

“I really do love you, Y/n. And I have known for a while how I feel.” He whispered. “At first it was confusing and I just wanted to not know about it.” He shook his head. “But when it cleared up, I knew I was stupid for doing so. But I still felt like something was missing. I had only one thought; What if I only love you because we are here and we are stuck together. What if it changes when we leave.” He sighed deeply while hinting another kiss on my forehead. “But after what you have said, I have no doubts. We knew each other before. I loved you before. It didn’t just come because we are here. It came because I started to love you as a person. My love is for you, not for just a person in the glade.” He kissed my left cheek gently. I didn’t know how to react. I just had to take a few deep breaths.

“Are you sure? You can still take it back.” I tried to avoid another step-back between us.

“I love you. And even the Glade couldn’t change that.” I smiled gently.

“I love you too.” I replied and returned his gesture. He kissed me, probably the most gentle way as if I was a porcelain doll and I happily returned it.

I felt something heavy jump onto us and a force pulling closer almost into a hug. Minho and I parted and a big blond mess of hair and a huge ear to ear smile appeared in our vision.

“Finally. It was painful to even watch.” He laughed.

“Newt, you slinthead.” Minho pushed him away while still holding onto my waist. “Shut up and stop ruining the moment.” They bickered, but I was just happily watching the unfolding situation.

I am not sure what the future will hold for us and the Gladers. I’m not sure when we will be able to find an escape route of some kind. But I am sure, it will happen. It’s just all about the “when”.

The end