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Language:
English
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Published:
2020-11-08
Words:
771
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
5
Hits:
239

fanmix: claws & callouses where you thought you'd find my skin

Summary:

A playlist of 11 songs: How two unhealthy, traumatized characters arrive to a somewhat healthy, functional, working relationship, and ultimately, find healing for themselves.

Kill of The Night - Gin Wigmore / Fear & Delight - The Correspondents / Mixed Feelings - Keegan Fordyce / Poison - Roses & Revolutions / Serious Craving - Ethel and the Chord Tones / Nowhere - Black Match / Learn to Love - W. Darling / Until We Do - The Overstory / Thorns - Martin Luke Brown / Yes, and- molly ofgeography / Make You Mine - PUBLIC, MisterWives

Notes:

gosh i want to fic these two so bad. alas, i have to settle with this. this fanmix explores the complexities of character and dynamics, and the trajectory of the rollercoaster that is jurdan. i'm just super invested in these two and how they overcome their sufferings, and come out of it as their best selves. then, i just pulled up choice quotes to succinctly relate said songs to certain character/narrative points. plus it was a fun exercise of rereading tfota.

title comes from the overstory "wild"

spotify ahoys!

Work Text:

Set to The Cruel Prince/The Wicked King:

"You’ve had to turn yourself into something else, and you’ve done it. Sometimes, when I look at you, I’m not sure if you’d even know how to be human anymore.” /
"Fearing him is a habit, a habit I could break with a bolt to his heart." /
"Do not expect others to share my depraved tastes.” /
"My sweet villain, my darling god." /
“Nothing is sweeter,” he says, kissing the back of it, “but that which is scarce.”/

1. Kill of The Night - Gin Wigmore
lyrics

Jude:

//The danger is I'm dangerous
And I might just tear you apart
Oh
I'm gonna catch ya
I'm gonna get ya, get ya
Oh, ah, oh
I wanna taste the way that you bleed, oh//


2. Fear & Delight - The Correspondents

lyrics

Cardan:

//Your kisses taste like bitter almonds
It's wrong but I want you tonight
You're an addiction pulling me to a grave end
You're an enemy who I'm keen to defend
Down the black hole of my lust I descend
It's wrong but I want you tonight//


3. Mixed Feelings - Keegan Fordyce

Cardan:

//It’s why I've got mixed feelings for you babe
You’ve got me going insane
So fine I can’t complain
But I still want things to change
I guess I’ll just break and bend
Until we make amends
Or I’ll play pretend//

//Feels like you’re an angel sent from hell//


Set to The Wicked King/Queen of Nothing:
"And is it? Out of your system?" /
"Come be angry at a nearer distance." / 
"Instead of trying—and failing—not to think about Cardan, I try not to think at all."

5. Poison - Roses & Revolutions
lyrics

Cardan:
//It's driving me out of my mind
That's why it's hard for me to find
Can't get her out of my head
Miss her
Kiss her
Love her
That girl is poison//


4. Serious Craving - Ethel and the Chord Tones
lyrics

Jude/Cardan:

//I had a taste. Thought I was okay
But the thought of you it stayed and stayed and stayed.
Now I want more, it's all I dream about
I'm shaking, and aching
Cause' I, I, I got a serious craving for you//


6. Nowhere - Black Match

lyrics

Jude/Cardan:

//Aren't we all just in the
In the in between
Longing to be heard and
Longing to be seen//

//I miss the taste of your mouth
And it's not fair
All I see is you painted next to me
But you're nowhere//


Set to The Queen of Nothing:
"It’s okay to want something that’s going to hurt, I remind myself." /
“I think of his riddle. How do people like us take off our armor? One piece at a time.” /
"And if I did—if I fulfilled that prophecy—I ought to be stopped. And I believe that you would stop me.” /
"And my heart hurts a little because we are all together and safe, and it wasn’t something I’d known how to want... There will be struggles to come, I am certain, but right now I am equally sure we will find our way through them." /


7. Learn to Love - W. Darling

lyrics

Jude/Cardan:
//You can stand with a shield at your side
Never breaking protecting your pride
But you can't really win if you've nothing to lose
Cause you're nothing till you learn you love//

//And oh, if you give a little
You're gonna get a lot more//


8. Until We Do - The Overstory

lyrics

Jude:

//I want to tell you the whole truth
But it’s simpler to lie
That’s not something I'm telling you
That’s just how I survive//

//I want to tell you I love you
But I’m scared that I don’t
I want to know that you love me
But I’m afraid you won’t //

9. Thorns - Martin Luke Brown
lyrics

Cardan: 

// Will you be the arrow?
Be the sword in my chest, cause you know me best
And through all the sorrow
Be the thorn in my side if it brings me back to life//

10. Yes, and- molly ofgeography
lyrics

Jude/Cardan: 

//I made a list of things I had
At the top of it was you
Kept going after that
But at the top of it was you
Pages and pages and pages and pages//

11. Make You Mine - PUBLIC, MisterWives
lyrics

Jude/Cardan:
//
Well, I have called you darlin' and I'll say it again, again
So kiss me 'til I'm sorry, babe, that you are gone and I'm a mess
And I'll hurt you and you'll hurt me and we'll say things we can't repeat
Put your hand in mine//