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win would have never predicted that there will come a day where every single thought in bright’s head disappear without a trail like they’re never there in the first place which is, impossible, considering how his best friend is a thinker, dreamer, whatever you call it—he loves thinking about things. he always has something in mind, be it relevant to the situation happening around him or something trivial and random that pops up out of nowhere. and win can hear everything, especially clear when they’re at a close proximity.
the ability was, at first, terrifying to win. the world suddenly turned so loud and noisy with everyone's thoughts audible. win locked himself in his room for almost a week, refusing to meet any human being, including his best friend. bright had been nothing but understanding, keeping in touch through chats and video calls where win was safe from physical touch that activates his ability. it had relieved him to a great deal until at one point during his journey of acceptance, he told bright everything, including the cause.
bright’s response had been quite a surprise, as he went quiet on the other end that win thought his best friend had fallen asleep until he heard a chuckle. “who told you that?” he had asked after win told him a legend about gaining a magic power if someone is still virgin when they reach 25 and he had replied, “first did.” with a pout, even though bright couldn’t see him, and he might want to cry again. it was not his fault that he didn’t believe the legend—it sounded like complete rubbish. virginity is a choice and win never loses. then again, making his family happy sounds more like an ideal goal than losing his virginity.
three months later, win has gotten completely used to it and has gotten a hang of the ability. it’s not a hard one to control, he can just avoid touching people, even though sometimes it’s very amusing to hear their thoughts on small things but nothing competes the amusement he gets from hearing bright’s thoughts. win is not really sure if that’s how bright’s mind originally works or he’s been cutting off and preventing himself from having some thoughts that he may not want win to know but it’s still fun regardless. at times win thinks bright deliberately forms thoughts because he knows win can hear them and will give a verbal response to them.
overtime, it develops into a habit, where they no longer whisper to each other whenever they want to share what they can’t say out loud in public, mostly it’s bright when they’re in lectures, either talking about how boring it is or how unnecessarily angry the profs are. it’s like having their own, small world and it feels quite nice when people aren’t looking in their direction to eavesdrop. bright has thoughts for any situation, he makes comments in his head due to his introverted tendency and he lets win hear them, doesn’t feel bothered in the slightest about the fact that he knows win can hear them.
win doesn’t know if they’re controlled but sometimes, he finds the curiosity growing about what his best friend thinks of him. sure, bright has several times made comments about his appearance and what kind of style suits him the best but that’s it. even hearing bright’s thoughts doesn’t seem enough but win can’t be sure about what he’s searching for inside his best friend’s little head. but maybe one day bright will let him know; what those lingering stares mean. win considers himself as someone who’s quite hard to deal with and he wants to know why bright puts up with it, for several years now and for as long as their friendship goes.
it grows bigger and it’s eating him inside and win can’t stand it any longer. they’re out grocery shopping, bright had called him over because he needs a company and sometimes, he makes it out like he has no other choice when there’s first and some mutual friends that win knows are relatively close with bright, if not as close. he’s wondering if things would be easier if they were roommates when bright’s thoughts start resonating inside his head like they’re his own and win’s stops thinking altogether to listen. ‘ win likes the other one more but this one is cheaper. ’ when win glances over, his best friend is holding a bag of liquid detergent and win can’t help the laughter bubbling inside him.
“get the cheaper one. i won’t mind.” he says with a wink to which then bright smiles widely in response. he knows how much a college student struggles financially as a college student himself and win doesn’t want bright to spend more just because he thinks a potentially unfamiliar smell will bother him when he knows his best friend has used different brands of detergent over the course of time. it’s the little things, win realizes, that makes bright and their friendship is special and win is becoming fond of the ability.
by the time they’re finished, the sun has completely set, leaving the sky painted in a darker shade of blue, reminding them of dinner. they take a trip to a mcdonald’s nearby for a takeaway because win has been wanting to try the seasonal bigmac menu— 'bulgogi?’ bright has questioned in his mind and win is surprised he doesn’t say anything more after that. the walk back home is cold and freezing (win has insisted they don’t need to use the car) and win begins regretting being so stubborn. this time though, it’s like bright reads his mind because his best friend suddenly reaches for his hand and puts it in the front pocket of his hoodie.
‘it’s not a good idea after all, right?’ bright’s voice echoes in his head but win fails to understand what the question is about (is it the car? the bigmac?) or if that question is even for him in the first place so he stays mute. he has half a mind to retract his hand and goes back to rubbing his palms together because any longer than this, win feels like he will explode from his heartbeat picking up at speed but bright squeezes his hand inside the pocket. maybe his best friend knows what he’s doing after all, because win feels warm all over, especially on the two of his cheeks. win gives up and lets out a sigh, instead choosing to go through the suffering of trying to hide how red his face is from bright.
he’s just grateful the trip back to bright’s flat was a short one but he was focused on entirely something else that he missed bright’s thoughts (damn that bright). it still lingers on his mind, that something else being them holding hands all the way back home and win feels like a goddamn idiot. they do it a lot but mostly during adrenaline rides and nothing of it ever made win’s heart suddenly decides to show off its acrobatics skills and do a flip or whatever it is doing inside his ribcage. or maybe he’s just too carried away by everything, especially the curiosity that seems to have made a presence that is so persistent inside his mind.
“are you okay?”
win digs into the burger in response, earning a chuckle from his best friend who then walks over to where he’s sitting on the couch. “okay, then.” he hears bright say before he feels his presence warm next to him. their hands brush when bright reaches out to take a french fries and there’s a voice gradually becoming louder inside win’s head, ‘he seems uncomfortable today—oh, the fries is so salty, may be too salty for him. is it because the fries is too salty? did he try it yet? or it’s too cold here? must be too cold. should i get a floor heater? let me see into my bank—’
“when are you going to stop?” win lets out a massive sigh, he hasn’t taken another bite of the burger in his hand, he can’t with bright’s thoughts being too loud and unending and unusually full of things about him that win doesn’t know how to properly react. he feels bad for interrupting when he sees bright’s surprised face like his best friend momentarily forgets win can read minds. “i mean, you can ask me directly, you know.” win informs with a softer tone of voice this time and again, a smile stretches across bright’s face and win is too blinded, too tired to think because everything is not making sense right now. it’s supposed to be fun to listen to bright’s thoughts until they’re all about him and win is put constantly on edge by his own curiosity and deduction and expectations. isn’t this exactly what he wants?
“i did ask you if you’re okay but then you took a bite of your bigmac so i’m assuming you’re okay since you still have the appetite to eat.” it’s not like they never converse normally but win finds that it’s nice to hear bright talk too, not just think. win finds that he likes it either way. “i eat regardless of what i’m feeling at the moment.” win replies with a frown, finally having the chance to take another bite of the burger in his hand while the other has been busy stuffing fries into his mouth. then, he turns to look at bright when the latter is quiet.
verbally. mentally, it’s chaos.
“say, do you ever have a moment where your mind is clear? like there’s nothing up there?”
bright nods, albeit looking a bit unsure himself. “i do have those moments but i’m sure i’m not aware and i don’t remember how i can stop these thoughts. i can only control it.” he looks at win like he’s expecting him to grade his answer (is this what, a test?) and he only gives an understanding nod when his own thoughts are running on his full brain capacity—so what he’s listened to all this time are bright’s controlled thoughts. he wonders if all the ones about him earlier were controlled too… but bright can’t read his mind so win has no choice but to let it all out if he wants an answer. he’s dreading the fact so much that he doesn’t realize bright is looking at him, complete with a fond smile—like what’s so endearing about someone losing himself in his own thoughts while eating?
“what?” win says over a mouthful of beef and that’s the last bite. he chugs down coke to ease his throat, taking some ice cubes to chew out of habit. the lingering stare is now combined with a fond smile, great , win thinks. win starts to feel the thump in his chest again and he knows it’s not a good sign (or is it? he really can’t decide). bright barely touches his own share of food, choosing instead to be engaged in a conversation that win is dreading over.
“what are you thinking?” bright asks him. sometimes win thinks he can read minds too.
“i’m the one with the ability here.” win slumps on his back against the couch, seeing bright turns his body slightly towards him and win doesn’t know if he likes being the center of attention until he realizes he’s always been the center of bright’s attention.
“i know, that’s why i asked.”
there it is again, the hammering of his heart inside his ears, it becomes hard to fully focus on his ability to listen to bright’s thoughts. “i want to know everything.” win says quietly, nibbling on his lower lip as he waits for his best friend to process what he has just said and finally comes up with an answer he would prefer delivered verbally. and it’s the first time win’s ever taken a closer look at the features that made up bright’s dashingly handsome face (so handsome it hurts) and everything becomes so clear; why their friendship is special, why it’s different. why win heart beats faster at the simplest touch, gentle stares and trains of thoughts that aren’t even his which have taken a considerable amount of space inside his head.
win moves and the next thing he knows, their lips touch, far longer than win has the capability to process a thought that it’s quiet for as long as they’re kissing. win isn’t sure when bright has started to kiss back or when his palm gets to his nape, pulling him closer. he pulls away. “was the lack of thoughts controlled too?” win says, eyes searching and it’s still awfully quiet.
“that was above my control.” bright’s voice is just above a whisper when he adds, “i guess you got your answer then?” to which win responds with a nod and a breathless, “yes.”
“i got everything i need to know.” win tells him, feeling a lot like crying (tears of happiness?).
one thing, win would have never predicted that there will come a day where every single thought in bright’s head disappears without a trail like they’re never there in the first place and it took a kiss to find out.