Chapter Text
Oh god it was Friday. The last Friday of the month, and frankly the worst one of the month too. 1010 always did streams on the last Friday where they would open what fanmail they got throughout the month. "Fanmail Friday" as they called it. Pretty much just a few hours of them opening their fanmail and reacting to it
It sure sucked if you never got any at all.
Eloni just put on his best smile as he got ready for the stream. You're never fully dressed without one after all! His robotic heart skipped a beat as he imagined what getting his first fan letter could be like! He would probably faint at the surprise more than anything.
He brushed his hair, which was really a fight to just not lose a brush halfway through. Curly hair sucks, man. And afterwards his hair bounced back up into its usual curl. He also slid on a mint sweater, as well as some shorts. He always thought sweaters were the comfiest thing to man. And he just slid on some shorts because they're usually just sitting while they open stuff. He walked over to his mirror and looked himself over one more time.
He sighed, his mind creeping in to remind him of the fact that he never got any fan mail, letters, anything. He doubted he even had any fans of his own. He just shook the thought out of his mind, his sliding smile back on. He's bound to get some fan mail this time, he has to be.
He made sure his hoop, or halo if you will, was still in place. Perfect, everything was perfect. He looked good enough for a stream, and today was going to be a good stream, yeah. It had to be, he's earned one, right? His attention was drawn from the mirror as his name was called.
He just walked from his room to the living room, the camera already set up, as well as a monitor for when they started up the live chat.
"Hey Eli! About time you got in here, c'mon-" Rin said as he motioned for him to sit by him on the couch. He just nodded and walked over, sitting beside him.
"You guys are ready early, you didn't have to wait for me did you?" Eloni questioned, hoping he didn't make them late to stream or something.
"I mean we had to wait for five seconds max, so you're fine." He said, sliding the heavy box full of mail onto the middle of the couch. Rin and Eloni were on the left of it, Haym and Purl-Hew on the right, and Zim was behind the couch as always. Just leaning onto it.
"Eli, hold still-" Zim said as he reached over the couch. Eli just went perfectly still, Zim smacking his shoulder.
"Bug?" Eloni questioned.
"Bug." Zim replied, wiping his hand off on his pants leg.
Eloni just nodded and got a bit more comfortable, leaning on the arm of the couch more.
Neon J had been waiting by the camera, just waiting for their que to start the stream.
"Ready, troops?"
"Ready!" the 5 said in unison, smiling at the unintentional sync.
"Hello! Your ideal boyfriends are back for another fanmail Friday!" The stream started without a hitch. And most of the boys got some pretty sweet, and funny, fan mail.
The first notable one was when Haym got a letter full of jokes and puns. Just him reading it about had them all cracked up, well, aside from Purl. Though, Purl did crack a smile at some of the puns.
Another memorable one was when Zim got some fingerless gloves with red trimming. He loved them to death, you could tell by the smile on his face alone when he slid them on.
Then there was a pair of novelty glasses sent to Purl, a pretty normal occurrence actually. Purl turned from the camera and slid off his usual pair, then on the novelty pair. They were little discoballs. The rest of the boys were practically cackling as he wore them for the rest of the stream. He always turned away while putting them on because the fans would go haywire if they fully saw his eyes. Hell, they do just at a glimpse anyway.
Rin eventually opened up a box to see a plush of himself! Super soft too, probably the best gift on the stream. It's expression was even a wink. Rin was just hugging it the whole time for the rest of the stream. And eloni even booped its nose once or twice.
Then, after all of them had grabbed their fanmail, he just looked in the box. He picked up a few letters, then setting them back down because they were just bills for Neon that had gotten mixed up. He would've sighed or said something regarding it if they weren't on stream. He just shrugged with a chuckle.
"Oh well!" He said trying to ignore the slight burning feeling in his throat. It didn't matter, he'd get some next time, yeah. That's just what he mentally told himself. He smiled at the others as he went back to leaning onto the arm again.
The boys answered a few questions and had a few little jokes, making more comments on their fanmail until they felt like they had done enough. The boys all smiled and blew a kiss to the camera as Neon J shut it off. Rin just looked over to Eloni.
"I don't get why you never have any fanmail, I think you'll get some next time!" Rin said, ruffling up Eloni's curly hair. Eloni just nodded. Rin always said that.
"Yeah, you'll totally get some next time!" Zim added on, looking at his new gloves. "Maybe someone's making you something good like mini Rin over there!" He flicked the plush off the couch.
"Don't treat Rin Jr. like that, Zim!" Rin jokingly shot back, picking up the plush and dusting it off.
Purl looked at Haym as he slid off his glasses.
"Why can't I take this off in front of the camera again?" Purl questioned, putting his usual pair back on
"The simps will go crazy, that's why." Haym said, rereading his joke paper.
"...whats a simp?"
After a chuckled explanation, Purl just nodded.
"Hm. Alright then."
Eloni almost felt out of place, Zim and Rin were chatting, and Purl and Haym were chatting as well. He just looked around, meeting Neon J's gaze. J motioned for him to follow as he walked off into another room, to which he did.
"Eloni," Neon J was leaned against the wall. "Are you...alright with your lack of-"
Eloni cut him off with a nod. "I'm fine with it, J. I honestly don't care. Its not like fans are everything after all."
Neon J seemed satisfied with that answer.
"Good, but you're allowed to skip out on the streams if it ever does. Alright?"
Eloni nodded. "Alright, I'll leave the stream if it gets too much." He chuckled, his eyes never directly looking Neon in the face. "I'm gonna go ahead and go to my room now, alright?"
With a nod from Neon, Eloni had walked out, speedily walking to his room. They always asked him if it upset him, you'd think they know that it does.
He opened his door and walked in, shutting it behind him. He let out a sigh and caught a glance at the mirror. He just quickly looked away. He sat on his bed, pulling out his phone in an attempt to distract himself.
Big mistake.
He checked on the stream to see what, usually nice, things that everyone had said during the stream. He opened it with a smile, expecting the live chat that happened to fuel it.
He hated reading this. He hated it so fucking much but he couldn't help but keep reading. The live chat was almost a constant stream of insults towards him, if not compliments to if brothers, stuff saying he wasn't even that good of a member or that they need to replace him and remove him off the 1010 roster. He was always the punchline of the joke, or someone to elevate his brothers with. Insults and meanhearted comments made him tear up, guess that's why they never put the live stream monitor towards him. 'Look at the useless cheerio back there, why is he even in the band. He's fucking ugly by comparison!'
He looked up at his mirror, his eyes going to his hair hoop. Was it really that ugly? He looked back down, he hated reading it but he couldn't stop, his mind had to see what else they said.
About an hour had past by the time he read it all. Those words, those god awful words were gonna be ingrained on his circuit board until he was scrap metal. He just thought he wasn't favored, not that he was full on hated. But the whole fan base seemed to hate him...he couldn't understand why. Was it just his hair? No, they mentioned a lot more. How he acted, how he talked, how he didn't talk, everything. Every little thing was critiqued and despised. Meanwhile for his brothers, it was all praise and asking for more of them. They wanted Eloni out of the way of the others and it was very obvious. They didn't like him at all, yet they loved his brothers to death.
He just turned off his phone and slid it under his pillow. His throat felt like it could burn off. He didn't even have a stomach, yet he still felt sick to it. He could probably throw up if he had actually eaten anything. His hands gripped on his sweater sleeves tightly, close to ripping the poor sweater. He just bit his lip so he wouldn't let out a sound as the tears he had held back slipped down his cheeks. Not too many, just a few, but tears nonetheless. He took a deep breath and wiped off his face once they had fallen.
"I-I'm fine. I'm okay. This doesn't matter, their opinion isn't everything. I d-don't need their validation." He just repeated things that J told him to repeat if the lack of fan attention ever got him down. This wasn't the lack of it though, this was the worst kind of attention.
"I...I d-dont need their opinions. I have my own. I'm fine. I-I have my own opinions. T-Their opinions d-don't....matter.." He sighed, gripping the sides of his sleeves once more. He tried desperately to shut off those thoughts in his mind and to think about something, anything, else. But he couldn't get himself to.
He reached behind his bed and pulled up the charging cord. It was much thicker than your average phone cord or anything. He felt around the back of his neck and pressed a button, the charging port opening. His mind was just getting worse and worse with those horrible thoughts until he plugged the charger in. His mind went blank as he entered sleep mode, his body going limp onto his bed.
Maybe he can sleep this off.