Chapter Text
“What the hell was that Suga?” His captain all but yelled once they had gotten off the bus.
They had just suffered a crushing defeat, everything went wrong and...and it was his fault. He had made the plan since they had always asked him for strategic insights and yet when his time came to shine he blew it. Every set he did was too far or too short, every “MINE” he yelled really wasn’t his.
He had played a ball that would’ve been out.
His teammates had mostly saved their comments for the bus ride for which he was thankful.
“I thought we could count on you!” Daichi, his best friend, and captain sighed out heavily before turning to the coach who started with his notes on their performance.
Or Sugawara’s lack of.
“ I don’t know what happened but either fix it or you’ll be replaced.”
A gasp tore out of the silver-haired teen as he quickly opened his eyes, it took a moment but soon his eyesight adjusted to the darkroom he laid in. As he laid there he couldn’t help but sigh softly at himself.
It’s been a week since that had happened since he had humiliated himself and his team...his school. Before he could wallow in self-pity he quickly got up and turned on his light.
The room was average in size, a large bookshelf lined the wall with a hook on the side for his school bag. On the door hung his clean and ironed uniform as well as a calendar that marked when assignments were due and when games and practices took place.
While this made the whole thing sound very organized...it was a wreck. Dirty clothes everywhere, the trashcan overflowed and there were dishes on his desk.
Sugawara made his way to his bathroom and glanced at the shower for a moment before going back and checking his phone. The time read 6 am and he had no messages from his friends which he wasn’t really shocked about.
Ever since that game they’ve all been distant from him, during practice he wouldn’t be asked to set for anyone and his classmates would sometimes whisper things while staring at him- hell he had ever heard someone say they were the “wingless crows”.
Another sigh left him as he showered and got ready for the day, a large part of him wanting nothing more than to lie and say he was sick or something along those lines.
But that was more trouble than it was worth, so he walked down to the front door and slipped on his shoes after he brushed his teeth. His mother asked him if he wanted some breakfast which he declined and started walking to school with his head down.
As he walked into the building he made no move to talk to anyone and everyone did the same for him...at least until he had gotten to his locker to switch his shoes and all.
It was Juro Oda, a third-year on their team who had tapped the second-year’s shoulder making him jump a bit.
“Sorry to scare you Suga,” the older said with a slight frown at his lower-classmen.
“It’s fine, what did you need? Is practice canceled or something?”
“No, it’s not that,” Juro affirmed while rubbing his neck in what could have been nervousness. “I have to tell you something that the others are too scared to say and I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.”
Sugawara instantly tensed, something wasn’t right beside the obvious elephant in the room.
“I’m not overly sensitive,” the silver-haired teen tried to joke only to have it fall flat.
“I know, I know it’s just-, look. I and the other team members think it would be better for some of us to take a break from Volleyball.”
“It’s your third year though!” Sugawara exclaimed in heavy confusion, he just didn’t understand. If he were in his third year he wouldn’t want to take a break even if all he did was practice.
Then it hit him.
“Is it because of me?”
The question hung in the air for a moment and the guilt the silver-haired teen had already felt increased ten-fold and only got worse with the crooked smile he was given.
“We know you tried,” was what Juro had to say for an answer before walking off just as the bell rang and only one thought ran through Suga’s mind-
‘I should’ve said I was sick.’
Finally, classes were over and Suga couldn’t be more disappointed, he didn’t want to face his teammates after what had happened that morning. But he managed to pull himself to the gym and once he had stepped in he could see the massive difference.
There were only around 4 players that were there.
Feelings of regret and shame arose in the second-year’s chest making it hard to breathe, all he could do was stand there and watch as none of his teammates in the gym even practiced. They were each in their own little world.
Abruptly he ran, his eyes burned with tears and his head was filled with poisonous cotton.
By the time he stopped he was somewhere on the sidewalk, he didn’t even know if he was close or not to his house. However, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
So he kept walking until the tears in his eyes made it too hard to see so he stopped and sat on the ground.
Perhaps he had been there for three minutes more three hours quietly crying, the same question of how and why circling him.
’How did I fail them so badly? I’m their setter...their vice-captain- I shouldn’t have been so bad during the game!’
Before long hazel eyes ran out of tears and so Suga stood back up and walked unsteadily in the direction he came from.
As he walked the sky turned into oranges and golds as golden hour hit. A small part of Suga told him to pick up the pace but it was drowned out by his self-loathing.
‘I should have been better.’