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“P’Type? What is that you are listening to?”
Type visibly jumps and instantly stops what he was listening to. He whips around to see his little brother’s head poking in from by his bedroom door, curious on what his elder brother was doing. Type feels like he has been caught doing something wrong, but, he brushes off the feeling when he gives his brother a chance and lets him in... figuratively speaking. He waves for Tine to come closer and instructs him to lock the door. Tine beams instantly and bounds inside the room, animatedly closing the door behind him.
“It’s a new band I discovered... I love their music. I don’t know. I somehow feel better every time I listen to them whenever I feel sad.” Type smiles and Tine nods as if he understands what his elder brother is talking about and looks at the psychedelic visualization of Type’s media player. Tine stares at the hypnotizing colors, looking visibly confused, and Type laughs at his brother’s face.
“I haven’t started playing the song, Tine.” Type clicks a few things on his computer with his white mouse and then a melody comes to life from his computer speakers, “Here.”
จะทำทุกๆอย่าง จะทำทุกๆทาง มันทำให้ฉันนั้นรู้ดีว่า จะเป็นเช่นไร
I’ll do everything, I’ll try every way, it makes me know well how things will be
Tine’s mouth remains hung open as the song continues to play and his head unconsciously bobs to the catchy beat . Type smiles at his brother’s reaction and asks, “You like it?”
Tine turns to his brother so fast that he almost cranes his neck, “ I love it!! What’s the name of this band, P’Type?!”
Type blinks at Tine’s enthusiasm and then smiles fondly at his brother. Type places a hand on Tine’s head, caressing him by the hair and unconsciously touching the scar on Tine’s eyebrow.
“They’re called ‘Scrubb’.”
-----
Tine was giddy the entire week and Sarawat couldn’t help but roll his eyes and shake his head at the obvious skip in his boyfriend’s steps. The days of the week in their calendar was filled with X marks leading up to the day of the Scrubb concert happening that weekend. It was their 20th Anniversary concert, so this was an even bigger thing; tickets were sold out as soon as Sarawat got them. Well, anything Scrubb was a big thing to Tine. But, it was worth it to see Tine in an all-time high after everything that had happened to him a month ago.
Tine was going all out and was already prepared. He brought his Instax camera so that they could take photos for P’Ball and P’Muey to sign on right away. He brought extra batteries and a powerbank for his phone. He brought bottles of water and extra shirts for both him and Wat.
Tine had already planned out the day’s events. They would start getting ready after lunch, and then head out right away, as it would take about an hour to get to IMPACT Arena. The earlier they would get there, the better spot they would get in parking. They would hang around The Portal while waiting and would just cross over when the time arrives.
It was full-proof.
What they didn’t see coming, though, was the heavy rain.
And it caused heavy traffic on the highway.
“At least we left early.” Sarawat had shrugged to alleviate the situation, having seen Tine’s knees bouncing nervously from the passenger seat. “Tine, we’ll make it. Don’t worry.” Sarawat proceeded to connect his phone to his radio to play Scrubb songs, effectively calming Tine down.
By the time they entered Pak Kret District, the rain had died down and traffic had significantly eased, and the butterflies in Tine’s stomach came back. Sarawat was laughing all the way with the way his boyfriend was a jar of mixed emotions about to burst anytime.
“It’s P’Ball and P’Muey, Wat! I finally get to meet and greet them face-to-face after missing two chances! Third time’s the charm!” Tine had reasoned out and Sarawat simply grinned in reply. He was so in love with this endearing buffalo.
They were able to get a good parking spot with enough time before the concert is scheduled to start, deciding to get a quick bite at The Portal and scrapping the idea of roaming around the strip mall.
Fans have started to gather around IMPACT Arena and Tine was bouncing ever since they queued up until they got inside the hall, tugging Sarawat by the elbows all the time. Tine spots a poster of P’Ball and P’Muey and Tine runs over to it to take a picture with it. Tine strikes a pose, giving both of their poster faces an L sign underneath their chins, and then beaming himself. But, instead of taking a photo of Tine with the poster, Sarawat turns around and takes a selfie with Tine. Sarawat smirks when he looks down at the photo and Tine hooks his chin on Sarawat’s shoulder as he peers over the photo Sarawat took. Sarawat has this satisfied look on his face at the shot, a nostalgic memory coming to mind.
“I like it.” Tine says from over his shoulder, having understood what Sarawat felt.
Sarawat likes it too.
-----
They get to their assigned seats with an impatient Tine fumbling and bouncing in his chair, craning his neck for any signs of his idols to appear. Sarawat pats his bouncing knee, trying to get him to calm down, but nothing could be done for Tine’s excitement, actually. Sarawat realizes that arriving on time was definitely better than arriving way earlier, he wouldn’t know how to deal with an adorable, impatient and energetic buffalo if they still had hours and hours to wait.
As soon as the first few notes start to play, the crowd goes wild and Tine lights up like a bulb. The concert was about to commence. The crowd’s scream temporarily die down and the beat of the drums follow, then the keys of an electric keyboard. The bass guitar comes next and as soon as P’Muey screams, “Sawasdee krub!” The crowd goes wild again with a wild Fanboy Tine screaming with them. Sarawat shakes his head as he claps his hands over his head.
P’Ball comes on stage jamming solo in his electric guitar and the fans are screaming once more.
‘Close’
ใกล้เกินกว่าที่จะพูดคำใดๆออกไป
Closer than any words can be spoken out loud
มันใกล้เกินกว่าจะมองเห็นใคร
It’s closer than anyone else can be seen
P’Ball is jamming to his electric guitar and P’Muey walks around the stage with a tambourine belting out to ‘Close’. They are joined by a female keyboardist, a drummer, two guitarists and a string quartet perched overhead.
‘Deep’
When the first notes of ‘Deep’ play, Tine’s head instantly whip towards Sarawat and it’s like his eyes sparkle with stars. The crowd goes wild and arms sprout up one by one from the sea of heads. Soon, bodies of fans shoot out from their seats one by one and everyone was on their feet. Tine takes Sarawat’s hand and pulls him up, following suit and raising both of their arms to wave them above their heads together with the crowd.
Tine’s eyes disappear into tiny crescents as he jumps up and down, singing along to the song he has already known by heart and soul. Sarawat laughs out loud, his voice drowned out by the noise and the party. They both feel relaxed and free... exhilarating. For a while, their problems are all forgotten and they look at each other at their joined hands. They see love and security in each other’s eyes, and more feelings start to bloom from inside their chests; adoration and completion.
Sarawat is taken back to 2 years ago, when he first saw Tine. The same bright smile adorned his face while jumping up and down to Scrubb’s music. Sarawat looks at Tine and he sees his whole world.
If you listen to Scrubb’s songs when you are happy, you will be even happier.
‘Together’
The crowd’s noise die down gradually and a slow melody follows, led by the keyboardist. Tine listens to the intro and tries to make out which Scrubb song this one is, but he couldn’t quite place a finger on it. It was a different rendition. Sarawat nods in realization, seeming to have already figured out, and he throws Tine a smug look. When the drummer starts to play a familiar tune, Tine visibly lights up and the rest of the crowd seem to have gotten it too, for everyone starts cheering.
“Koo Gun!” Tine exclaims loudly and Sarawat laughs at his boyfriend’s heightened enthusiasm.
เดินผ่าน มองคนไม่รู้จัก วนเวียนและเป็นอยู่
Walking by, looking at people I don’t know
Sarawat throws an arm around Tine’s shoulder when he sings along and Tine shoots him a wide grin.
From the stage, P’Muey hypes the crowd, gesturing for everyone to sing along. He pauses from singing and points his microphone to the audience, letting the crowd take it away.
คนๆหนึ่งได้เปลี่ยนแปลงทุกๆอย่างไป
One person changed everything
คนที่ทำให้ยิ้มได้ ไม่ว่าเราจะเศร้าเพียงไหน
The person who can make me smile, no matter how sad I am
Sarawat silently sings for only Tine to hear, and he looks at Tine with endearment. They feel far away from everyone... like they are in their own world amidst the crowd. Tine takes Sarawat’s hand that was on his shoulder and weaves their fingers together.
เธอคนหนึ่ง ทำให้รักฉันเปลี่ยนไป
You have changed my love
ก็ไม่รู้ไม่เข้าใจ อาจเป็นเพราะคู่กัน
I don’t know, I don’t understand, maybe because we belong together
Something inside Sarawat shifts and it hits him like a freight train. Looking at Tine, his smile oh so beautiful and bright, brings tears to his eyes. All of a sudden, he feels full, complete, home... and he associates those three words with Tine. Looking at him, Tine is the embodiment of his perfect half... something he could never exchange for anything else.
Sarawat doesn’t know what possesses him to be so bold in a crowd of strangers, but he pulls Tine in by the chin and Tine meets him halfway, surprisingly unabashed by the people around them too. Sarawat reckons that Scrubb has that affect on them both… giving them that burst of courage. If you listen to Scrubb’s songs when you are in love… you will be more deeply in love. Their lips meet and they don’t break off right away. Sarawat smiles in to the kiss and he nibbles on Tine’s lower lip, prodding him with a tease. Sarawat feels Tine giggling in the kiss from the vibrations of his voice and he somehow loves the ticklish feeling.
‘Click’
An electric guitar’s intro comes in and the crowd screams again. The stage starts blinking with green balls of light that look like stars sparkling.
ไม่เคยคิดเลยว่าจะเจอกับวันที่ดี ที่เราอยู่ตรงนี้
I never imagined I’d find such a good day with us right here
P’Muey jams to the chorus and the stage looks magical when a string of green ball lights come down like rainfall. The crowd goes wild.
ฉันไม่เคยเจอใคร ไม่ขวาไม่ซ้าย ไม่สมบูรณ์ไป
I’ve never met anyone else, not to the right, not to the left, they were too imperfect
ไม่มองแง่ร้ายหรือเอาแต่ใจ แต่มีอะไรไม่ธรรมดา
You don’t see things pessimistically or selfishly, but you have something extraordinary
P’Muey goes upstage and sings together with the guitarists. He walks up to the string quartet and pats them a job well done.
ฉันไม่เคยเจอใคร ไม่เร็ว ไม่ช้า ไม่น้อยเกินไป
I’ve never met anyone else who wasn’t fast, wasn’t slow, wasn’t too small
แต่มีอะไรที่ดีกว่าใคร ลงตัว กับใจ อยู่กันได้พอดี
But you have something that’s better than anyone else, you’re perfect with your heart, you can stay with me just fine
The beat mellows down and they go to interlude. P’Muey gives his thanks to the crowd and Tine pouts a little, realizing that the concert was about to come to an end. P’Muey introduces each and every band member on the stage and inserts a few jokes here and there. The crowd engages and laughs, and Tine feels warm, like he is blanketed by arms of a Scrubb family he didn’t know he had.
P’Muey throws his hands over his head and claps, and everyone follows suit. The sea of fans are alive once more and Tine finds himself laughing, singing and jumping with strangers that have become his friends for this night. If you listen to Scrubb’s songs when you are sad… you will feel better.
Tine looks to his side and sees Sarawat looking back at him with this warm and fond expression, eyes shining with so much love. Tine feels a burst of warm emotions coursing through his chest and he beams with an all-time high.
Growing up, Tine had always sought refuge in Scrubb whenever he needed comfort; wrapped around him like a warm blanket when he was at his lowest... when he felt like he had no one to turn to. Now, listening and singing to Scrubb feels different... a good kind of different. He feels like it has become a part of who he is and how Scrubb made such a huge impact in Tine’s life.
Scrubb was there whenever his parents weren’t.
Scrubb was there when he had his first girlfriend.
Scrubb was there when they broke up.
Scrubb was there when he (quite literally) stumbled on Sarawat.
Scrubb was there when they saw each other again.
Now, Scrubb is here to remind him that they will always be there for him in every stage of Tine’s life. He feels like Scrubb will continue to grow with him and witness every fiber of Tine’s being.
But, more than that, Tine now associates Scrubb with Sarawat. How Sarawat comes first in Tine’s thoughts every time he hears Scrubb. How Sarawat comes with happiness, sadness, love, inspiration and hope, just like how Scrubb used to make him feel.
Standing here, beside Sarawat, a feeling creeps up in the depths of his heart, slowly, and then all at once. He is made aware that he wants Sarawat to be there in every part of Tine’s life now. He wants Sarawat to continue to grow with him. He wants Sarawat to witness every fiber of Tine’s being.
-----
“Huey!” P’Ball makes a delightful jump when he recognizes Sarawat and Tine standing in line together with the rest of the fans for the Meet-and-Greet. P’Ball’s eyes doesn’t leave them and he continues to follow the couple when they finally reach their turn. “Sawasdee krub!” A chorus of greetings and wai’s are exchanged between the couple and the artists, before P’Ball looks to Sarawat, “I remember you, Nong! You were in the University band who won the music contest in your school!”
“CTRL+S, krub.” Sarawat smiles and P’Ball nods rapidly in excitement, “Right, right! Your band also performed the opening act months prior to that contest, right?” Sarawat’s ears turn a shade darker and he nods bashfully at P’Ball’s memory of him. Tine smiles proudly at his boyfriend, momentarily forgetting about the jitters he felt that his two idols are just within arm’s reach right in front of him.
“Did you enjoy tonight?” P’Ball asks and Tine nods rapidly, “Yes, yes, yes, P’! It was great! You guys were great!” Fanboy Tine is back.
“Is he the special person?” P’Muey’s voice breaks into their conversation and they look at him; P’Ball looks confused for a moment before P’Muey elaborates, “Remember that time at the University’s backstage when Nong wanted to have our autograph but asked to take a rain check because it was for someone special and he wanted to bring him over personally?
“Now that I remember, you didn’t return backstage after you disappeared.” P’Muey recalls and Sarawat chuckles, embarrassed, “I’m sorry. I guess I forgot.”
“But, I’m here now, P’.” Sarawat pulls Tine closer to him and his hand settles on Tine’s lower back, “And yes. This is Tine… my special person... who wanted to get your autograph. I first found him in one of your concerts and now, we’re celebrating our Anniversary together with yours.” Tine’s jaw drops, not quite catching up yet to the series of Sarawat’s overshares, and he turns beet red with embarrassment.
“Shiaaa… that is so cool. Happy Anniversary!” P’Ball beams and Sarawat wais with a thanks in behalf of a still-starstruck Tine. P’Ball eyes on the Instax camera hanging around Tine’s neck and gestures for him to come closer. Tine is taken aback slightly but approaches him anyway. P’Ball motions for a staff and he points to Tine’s camera. P’Tine is still a bit starstruck but allows the petite female staff to take the camera off of his hands as both he and Sarawat are led around the table where P’Ball and P’Muey are sitting.
The staff takes a shot and there is a flash before the camera churns and a sheet of film spits out of the camera. The staff returns the camera to Tine and hands him the sheet of film.
“Can I take a look at that?” P’Ball gestures for the film, and Tine silently obliges. P’Ball fans the film for the photo to come to life and slowly, the colors start to show. He smiles in content when the photo comes out perfectly and drops to the table to sign on it. He passes it on P’Muey who does the same.
“What is your full name, Nong?” P’Muey asks with a small grin and Tine replies his full name with a confused look. The two artists of Scrubb smile as they return the film to Tine and pats both Sarawat and Tine in the back.
“It was nice meeting you both, Nong Sarawat, Nong Tine.” P’Ball says and the four exchange wai’s again before Sarawat and Tine are ushered away by the staff to make way for the other fans lining up.
Tine was still out of it and Sarawat chuckles all the way down the stage as he places a hand on Tine’s lower back to lead him down the steps. Tine takes a few seconds, staring blankly at the photo, to finally register what was written on the photo and he lets out a wide grin afterwards.
To our #1 Special Fan: Tine Teepakorn Aekaranwong
“Oh my God!! I’m their number one, Wat!! And special!!” Tine exclaims excitedly, “Is this real? This is official, right?! Tell me it’s an official rank! That’s it! I’ll just have to file a patent! Wait- Shiiaa! I wasn’t able to thank them, Wat! I just stood there like an idiot! Oh my God! I’m so stupid!”
Sarawat shakes his head and leads him away from the crowd, “Come on, tua woon wai. Let’s freshen up and grab something to eat before the queue gets unbearable.”
---
Nothing could ruin Tine’s insistent rambling even as hours passed by after the concert and they were heading back home. It was one of the few things Sarawat found endearing in his boyfriend to hear him talk nonstop about something he always had a strong passion for. Sarawat had to drag Tine by the hand all the way to the parking lot to prevent him from tripping while he was shaking in giddy excitement as they got inside Sarawat’s car. The ride back to their apartment was all Scrubb this, Scrubb that, in between Fanboy Tine’s ramblings of “Number one fan, Wat! Can you believe it?” and “I can die now” and “I’m never going to wash my hands ever again”.
Sarawat shakes his head in amusement. Nothing could take Tine out of his frenzy, until his phone rang. Tine was too busy rambling and talking animatedly when he answered his phone and didn’t see who the caller was. When Tine answers a little louder this time, there is no response from the other line.
Tine pulls his phone back to look at his screen and Sarawat notices the instant tension mixed with confusion when Tine’s body stiffens. Tine slowly places the phone back to his ear and his voice significantly softens, “P̂ā Nymm krub?”
Sarawat’s grip on the steering wheel tightens and his back turns cold. He has heard of Tine’s beloved caretaker from Tine’s stories of when he was young, but, those were just it... stories. He didn’t exactly know enough stories of her to know of her personality and how she would react to Tine having a boyfriend. And with what happened in Aekaranwong household a month ago, he wasn’t sure what to think about the reason she called.
“Hi.” Tine smiles with a sigh of happiness in his voice and Sarawat deflates a bit.
“I’m fine, P̂ā.” Tine looks at Sarawat with a reassuring smile and Sarawat continues to look straight to towards the nighttime road.
“I miss you, too.” Tine’s voice lowers, but his smile doesn’t falter, “I’m sorry I left without saying anything.”
“Yes, we are.” When Tine looks back to him, Sarawat could tell that they were now talking about him and Sarawat glances towards Tine. Tine reaches for Sarawat’s left hand that was settled on the stick shift and nuzzles the top of his hand, “We just got out of a concert, P̂ā, and we are heading home. We were celebrating our anniversary.”
“Ooohh! Anniversary!!!”
Sarawat chuckles when he hears an excited screech coming from Tine’s phone that made Tine wince, so Tine decides to set the call on speaker mode.
“You youngsters nowadays spending anniversaries on noisy concerts! How can you talk with all the screaming people? What happened to romance? Back in my day, my late husband and I got on top of our roof and he played the guitar for me while we watched the stars! Aahh, so romantic!”
“Hey! I cooked him steak for dinner and I played him the guitar too, P̂ā!” Tine beams with a smug look and Sarawat all but laughs.
“Aw. Nong Sarawat can hear us?”
Sarawat smiles fondly, “Krub. Sawasdee krub, P̂ā Nymm.”
“Oi, you naughty boy, Tine! Why did you not tell me? I would’ve said something weird!”
Sarawat and Tine just laugh.
“It’s nice to meet you, P̂ā Nymm! Tine has told me so much about you.”
“Ooh, you sound so courteous and handsome! It’s nice to meet you too, Lūk.”
Sarawat throws Tine a smug look and Tine just rolls his eyes in silent reply.
“Ooohh, it would be so nice to be able to see you both face-to-face someday.”
Something in Tine changes at those words and his smile turns rueful. “Mm.” He replies, his tone clipped, “Someday...” Sarawat blindly reaches for Tine’s hand and he holds it with a tight squeeze, “How are you, P̂ā? How is everything there?”
Sarawat knows what the word ‘everything’ specifically means to Tine and he steals a glance at Tine’s expression, he sees the forlorn look on his boyfriend’s face, trying to keep the façade of joy evident and hoping to spread a little bit of tonight’s excitement to the tone of his voice.
“Same old, same old... they come back to eat, bathe and sleep, and it’s work all over again. Honestly! This place doesn’t feel like a home at all!” P̂ā Nymm’s voice huffs and Tine feels a little bit sad at the information.
“I’m sorry, P̂ā.”
“Silly boy! What are you sorry for? They chose to live how they want to live their lives! If somebody has to be accountable for the repurcussions of one’s decisions, it should be yourself.”
Sarawat visibly beams and nods in agreement at the solid advice.
“That is why... you should stop feeling bad about what happened, Lūk. Your father has always been a stubborn ox!”
Tine chokes at that, but it doesn’t fail to make him laugh, “P̂āāā!”
“’Tis true, my boy! No other caretaker would stand him like how I do! They would have up and left ages ago!”
They share laughs and talk for bit more... about how Tine and Sarawat are doing in school... about how they are doing well as presidents of their own respective clubs... and that they promise they are eating and resting well.
“Young boys always eat junk food. Do not keep on eating junk food!”
“Tine makes me green curry filled with lots of love, P̂ā.” Sarawat says to the phone and wiggles his eyebrows in mischief, earning him a playful smack by Tine.
“Ohh! You cook now? Is the world ending tomorrow?”
“Excuse me! I have been cooking for myself even before we moved in together. So, that’s more than a year now, thank you!” Tine crosses his arms with a playful huff, “I just... get lazy sometimes.” Sarawat snickers under his breath.
The other line goes silent and Tine taps his phone’s screen to see if P̂ā Nymm was still there. They hear a soft giggle from the other line and Tine smiles when he hears the familiar and giddy laughter of P̂ā Nymm which he has always adored hearing.
“I am glad you are doing well, Lūk. I guess I don’t have to worry about you. You take good care of each other well, na?”
Tine genuinely smiles at that and is entirely grateful for the presence of P̂ā Nymm in his life, “Thank you, P̂ā… for everything.” Tine pauses, “ฉันจะขอบคุณตลอดไป” I will forever be grateful. They here a tiny coo from P̂ā Nymm from the other end of the line and Sarawat looks at Tine with warmth, both loved ones feeling the gravity of the choice of Tine’s words.
“Please take care of yourself too, P̂ā.” They bid each other good night with a promise to visit P̂ā Nymm one of these days.
Before they realized it, they have already arrived back at the apartment and Sarawat is pulling in to the parking area. As soon as Sarawat pulls over to their usual spot, Tine takes Sarawat’s hand before he could make a move to get out of the car.
“Thank you for tonight.” Tine beams, their fingers slowly weaving together.
“Refresh me on what for.” Sarawat leans in with a tease and pecks a quick kiss on Tine’s lips. Tine instinctively closes his eyes upon contact and he hums in reply. He unbuckles from his seatbelt and he turns his body towards Sarawat’s direction, folding a leg up on the seat to get comfortable. He gestures for Sarawat to do the same and Sarawat mirrors his boyfriend.
Tine takes both of Sarawat’s hands to his and he looks him in the eyes lovingly, “Thank you... for everything... for knowing what to do to calm me down this afternoon, for bringing me to the concert...” He raises their hands together to his lips and he kisses Sarawat’s knuckles, “To the magical moment in front of everyone... for putting up with my crazy tonight,” Sarawat chuckles, “and for just… being with me... filling up the gaps on my incomplete self.”
Sarawat’s face softens at the confession and he scoots closer. He frames Tine’s face with his hands and presses their foreheads together as he closes his eyes, “I feel the same... You are just as much as the missing puzzle piece of my entire being, Tine. You complete me.”
Tine’s eyes glisten and he moves forward, capturing Sarawat’s lips so suddenly that it pushes Sarawat back a bit. But Tine pulls him back by the collar and their lips dance around, eager to fully take in the other. Sarawat cards his fingers on Tine’s hair and their liplock intensifies to a fight for dominance. They break apart before things heat up, their heavy pants echoing loudly around the confines of Sarawat’s car.
“W-we-” Sarawat gulps, panting hungrily and taking in as much air he didn’t know he needed, “Wow.”
“I’m not done with you yet, Khun Sarawat.” Tine smirks with a lick of his lips, causing Sarawat to swallow that huge lump in his throat. “What do you have in mind, Khun Tine?” Sarawat accepts the challenge and peers in closer again, only to be dodged by Tine when they were millimeters apart.
“You tell me.” Tine shrugs, feigning innocence.
“After all,” Tine leans in to whisper in Sarawat’s ear, “it’s Lazy Sunday tomorrow.” He drawls and blows a soft breath upon Sarawat’s earlobe before Tine turns around and scurries out of the car, making a mad dash towards the apartment’s entrance. It takes a minute for Sarawat to process what just happened before he snaps out of it and stumbles out of the car after Tine, fumbling with his car keys and locking the doors in lightning speed as he runs after his boyfriend.
“Tine, hold the door!”
End.