Work Text:
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters.
Warning: Character death and angst.
Song Link: Hush, Hush
Hush, Hush
Everything aches. I never knew I could feel such utter exhaustion and such unfathomable pain. Blood seeps down my chilled body as the skies darken, or is it my vision darkening? Every step I take is agonizingly painful, but I move forward anyway, I have to. Zetsu is watching, they cannot suspect, cannot know the truth. There, before me, only a few more steps and I will reach my goal, but gods, the pain. Even lifting my arm is enough to make the world tilt dangerously fast and it is only my stubbornness that keeps me upright.
“Sorry, Sasuke…but this is it.” I say, smiling at my otouto, my precious little brother for whom I have sacrificed everything and everyone for. With one last effort, I push my two fingers onto the center of his forehead as I had done so many times before when we were younger, more innocent. He has grown strong, but not surprising to me, I knew Sasuke would because he always has been stronger than me. I may be the prodigy of the Uchiha clan, but even from an early age, I saw that his stubbornness would one day catapult him to a strength I did not possess. I never have had the true will of a shinobi, for all my abilities, I have always despised fighting and fighting Sasuke is the most difficult thing I have ever done—both physically and emotionally.
His eyes are wide with terror and confusion and I wish there had been a different path I could have chosen, a path where we would have been true brothers and friends instead of eternal enemies, but for my beloved brother, I am happy to shoulder the burdens of our clan and give him my eyes so that he will be strong enough to defeat his true enemy. He can finally let go of the past and move into the future, leaving the death of our clan behind him.
My legs will no longer support me, I can feel my heart stuttering as it tries to keep me alive, but I have no regrets and I happily go into death, into my well deserved rest. Falling, the wind is knocked from my lungs and pain threatens my consciousness, just showing how close to death I really am that a simple fall could cause so much pain.
“NOOOOO!” A horrified cry comes from across the compound and I hear the pounding of feet as I stare at the gray skies above me, rain soaking me before suddenly the clouds are chased away and I see azure skies, bright and clear, the same shade as Naruto’s and my heart clenches painfully at the thought of my little blonde lover. So many things I should have said to him…I guess I do have one regret.
“Naruto?” Sasuke chokes out, exhaustion evident in his voice, “W-why are you here?”
A warm hand grabs mine, the touch scorching my skin and I give a pained gasp. “Itachi, just hold on, please, saiai.” Naruto, my love, how are you here? You are not supposed to be here and yet I cannot deny how happy it makes me to see you once more. “Sasuke, go find a healer, quick! Sasuke, do something!” Naruto screams at my brother, and my failing vision is filled with sun kissed blonde hair that I want to reach out and touch, but even breathing hurts and I’m not certain I can reach that far up. “Damn it, Sasuke, he’s your brother and he—” his words suddenly stop as I hear a thud, “You fucking pass out now?”
“Kareshi…” I whisper and those eyes I love are on me again, so hauntingly beautiful even though they are so anguished my heart cracks. “I—” A cough chokes me, blood tangy and metallic on my tongue and suddenly warm rain falls on my face, no not rain, but tears.
“Hush, Itachi, just hush.” Naruto soothes, his hand caressing the side of my cheek, pushing aside my hair, while the other continues to hold my hand.
He leans down and brushes his lips against mine ever so gently, making me yearn for more. More that I never had a right to and more that I never should be wanting. I didn’t mean to kiss you, you know. I wasn’t supposed to kiss you that night when you offered to give me what I wanted and you certainly didn’t mean to fall in love, but we both failed, didn’t we?
I smile softly at him, but it only increases the tears trailing down his face. I watch blurrily as a fat tear drop runs over a whiskered cheek before falling off his chin and onto my face. Ah, kareshi, I never meant to hurt you, your tears burn me more than you will ever know. There was never supposed to be love between us, we were supposed to remain enemies and you were supposed to run from me, not to me. I never meant for us to mean this much…
“Naru…” I whisper, but he’s shaking his head, gripping my hand tighter. “I w-wanted to keep you with me.” Forever. I wanted you next to me every day, Naruto, my Sunshine, my love. You brought such light to my life, a light I am not worthy of and I can only pray my darkness does not snuff it out. I wish we could have had more time together, I wish we could have had forever, but I treasure the times we have had even though I know it is selfish of me.
“Hush.” He hiccups, bowing his head over mine. “Please stop talking, ‘tachi. I-I’m gonna go find help, okay? There’s gotta be someone that can help you.”
He moves to stand, but I feebly hold his hand, my blood making my grip slick. I’m not going to survive, I know I am dying, have been dying and there’s no saving me. “No.” I rasp, “Stay. No time.”
“Don’t say that!” Such hope, even when the darkness is swallowing me whole, his spark is luminous and warm.
“Kareshi, y-you need to…” I take a gasping breath, I need to tell him so he has no regrets, I’ve forced my body to live this long and I can be stubborn enough to take these last moments. “Live your life, Naruto, be happy, n-no regrets.”
“I can’t without you, Itachi. I can’t!” He sobs, choking as he collapses onto my chest and his warmth spreads through my body like a wildfire. I am being consumed by his heat, but if my choice is to die in the dreary rain of cold or in his arms burned by his briilance, I will choose his embrace. His voice breaks and I feel it breaking me, “You can’t die, please don’t die.”
I lift my hand, ignoring the lancing pain that makes my heart falter, and place it on his head, fingers twining weakly in those soft spikes I love. “We have t-to,” I swallow, my tongue thick and sticky, “say goodbye, kareshi. Go on, live y-your life.”
“No! I won’t, you can’t make me.” He tells me almost childishly and a gurgling chuckle leaves my lips. Even at death’s door, he can make me laugh. He turns his head so I can see his crystalline depths, so hauntingly beautiful even when they’re filled with such insurmountable pain. “Please, Itachi, you need to stop talking, save your strength, I need you.”
I want to ask why, so many questions I never asked and now it’s too late. So many questions left unanswered between us. Why me? How did you fall in love with a mass murderer? A murderer of not just other shinobi, but of innocent children who had never done a single thing wrong except be born with the last name of Uchiha. Even if you know the truth, how can you love me so completely knowing I have done such horrific things in my lifetime? Why did you not run away that night? What made you turn to your enemy and become my lover? But I do not voice them, I do not know if I ever want them answered. At least not tonight, not when you are next to me and in such anguish. Maybe one day, maybe in another life, I will understand you, understand this.
I tried to forget you, but kept on remembering everything about you. I tried to stay away from you, but those eyes of yours… they kept bringing me back. Those hauntingly beautiful eyes that I fell in love with, your tanned skin that looks so golden against mine, the smiles you give to only me and the way your eyes dilate when you desire me. The way you feel as I sheathe myself into you and how your legs wrap deliciously around my waist. The moans I elicit from your red bitten lips are the sweetest sounds I have ever heard, only second to hearing you breathily whisper my name and your love for me.
I did my best to stay away, but when your scent—fire and sunshine and fresh air—would lure me closer, I would try to distract myself with drinking, but even so, I’d end up at your window and into your open arms. I eventually gave in, the first selfish thing I had ever allowed myself and now look…all I have done in the end is hurt you, I despise the tears I have caused.
What we had was so pure, so true, Naruto, I had thought I had lost everything before you came along and then you showed me there was more to my life than darkness and death. And yet now, now I see that I truly have lost everything… Sasuke had consumed my entire life, everything I had done was for him and to help him, to prepare him, but I wish I had seen another way, a way that would have allowed me to keep you with me. Of course, eventually I would have succumbed to my illness, but at least I would have had more time to memorize your body, your smile, your laugh.
I can feel the rattle in my chest between my ragged breaths, wet with blood and a slight cough has Naruto sitting up and looking at me, his bottom lip quivering as he uses his thumb to wipe away the blood staining my lips. “Kareshi,” I whisper, my voice becoming quieter with every passing minute, “D-don’t ever tell—”
“Hush,” my lover soothes, kissing my lips fervently, the salt of his tears rolling across my tongue. “Hush now. I won’t tell Sasuke the truth, I promised you I wouldn’t.”
“No,” I gasp, my hand gripping his harder, “don’t e-ever tell a soul that you, t-that you…” my voice fails me and my vision darkens as my heart beat falters again. Kareshi, you can’t say a word about what you ever thought you heard, your life is hard enough as it is. If the village knows that you took me, the scourge of Konoha, as your lover it will only make them hate you more and that would taint any happiness we shared. If they know, it will only make them believe you truly are a monster if you could love a monster like me and I couldn’t rest in the next life knowing you are spiraling into a darkness I have created. I tried hard to hate you, but now I believe that we were always meant to be, that even if I had not murdered my clan and you had not been a jinchuriki, we would have still found each other and fallen in love.
Ah, if only that were the case. Even if you were still the jinchuriki, I would have cherished you and loved you openly before the whole village. I would have protected you and made certain you knew you were never alone, you never would have felt unloved or unwanted if our paths had been different. Instead, I can only offer you a few bright moments, my undying—and unsaid—love and the memories we have made.
Naruto’s arms wound around my waist as he buried his head into my chest, his warm tears soaking into my already soaked shirt. “Hush, Itachi, I’m here.”
The cold that had settled in my bones dissipates in your warm embrace, instead all I feel is your heat as your arms tighten around me almost painfully. I cannot see you any longer, but I can feel you all around me, feel your bright soul that illuminates my own. My heart stutters painfully and I feel your increased sobbing, knowing you felt it too.
Lifting my arm, I caressed Naruto’s cheek. “I didn’t—,” I take a gasping breath, but the words fail, my tongue heavy. I didn’t ever tell him, I had been too afraid and now it’s too late. “Live, k-kareshi…” I’m so tired, my lungs feel like lead as I try to suck in a ragged breath, my hand falls with a quiet thud to lie beside us and I know it is the end for me. I have no strength left, I am sorry Naruto, I would have loved to live for you.
“Hush, hush.” He whispers as I fall into sweet darkness that is much warmer than I ever thought it would be.
I love you.
Dhampir
Page 5
11/4/2020
Note: Ya'll have no idea how much I struggled with this. I rewrote this at least six times, I'm still not completely happy with it. The song itself brings so much emotion and I feel like I can't quite capture it.
And I'm certain someone will ask why Naruto was there when in the series he isn't, so while it will be something that is made known in the next part, I'll go ahead and say that for this, I made it that this was a kage bushin. In my version of events, after Itachi talks to Naruto about what he will do about Sasuke, Naruto sends a shadow clone after Itachi while he continues on with the others. Itachi's eyes are failing him, he's dying, so he doesn't realize it is a clone. It's why Naruto is shocked still when it's announced that Sasuke beat Itachi, at that point the kage bushin is recalled, which allows Tobi to come back and take Sasuke as well as get rid of Itachi's body.
Two more parts people! When I first started this, it was only going to be Give You What You Want, Bad Boy and Hush, Hush. It's completely grown, but I'm loving it, even if I'm over here bawling that Itachi died.