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Three hundred and thirty two. That's how many crystal pieces were used to make the chandelier that hung in the entrance hall of the Parkinson home. Pansy had counted them on a number of occasions, usually when she was trying to drown her parents out. They were talkers, or at least her mum was, and she liked to go on and on about the plans that she had for Pansy's life. Never once did anyone ever stop to ask Pansy what her own plans were though, but then again she wasn't meant to have them.
As a girl, it was her job to marry well, and as the sole heir of the Parkinson family she had the extra pressure of marrying someone who would continue on the Parkinson name with her. She didn't get a choice in who this person was, and sometimes she thought that there was maybe a good reason for that.
Pansy's choice of person would not have been Theodore Nott who her parents had invited over for tea that afternoon. Pansy's choice of person was more likely to be the man whose bed she had only just vacated an hour ago. Sure, nothing had happened but then she had just gone there to seek comfort, to have the man that she craved so badly calm her down.
Theo, as nice as he was, was no Neville Longbottom.
"Pansy!" Her mother's shrill voice cut through her thoughts, pulling her back to the present with a jolt.
She knew it was getting more and more obvious when she zoned out, but she really couldn't help it. Her cheeks turned red as she decided to busy herself with her teacup. She would apologise to Theo later, when they weren't being so closely watched by both of her meddling mother and his father.
Pansy supposed that she probably should have done more to at least get to know Theo. They had been in the same house and year at school, but that didn't mean that she actually knew anything about him except that he was quiet and for the most part kept his head down. Somehow his father had gotten away with a slap on the wrist after the war, in the same way that her own father had, but it definitely wasn't something that either of them were proud of.
This date was just a formality as far as Pansy could tell. Soon they would be sent on a walk and their parents would strike up a deal to practically sell her into slavery. She let out a sigh as she let her mind flicker to Neville and what he must be up to just now. She hoped that he was having a better afternoon than she was - and part of her was even considering going back 'round to his tonight. She had a feeling that he wouldn't complain anyway.
Eventually Theo suggested that they take a walk and she guessed that he was just sick of listening to her mother drone on and on about the Parkinson family and of Pansy's own achievements. Pansy could help but regret working so hard in school now - maybe if she hadn't done so well with her NEWTs her parents wouldn't be so keen to push her towards what they considered to be greatness.
"I know this isn't what you want." Theo said quietly as they walked through the grounds, Pansy occasionally kicking up leaves as she tugged her coat around herself just that little bit more tightly. "It's not what I want either, but I'm all my dad has left. It's my duty."
Pansy rolled her eyes. "How very noble." She muttered under her breath before she let out a sigh and spun on her heel to face him, but she couldn't seem to find the words that she wanted.
"You could contest the union yourself, you know." Theo pointed out, not at all helpfully, but he wasn't wrong either. She could tell her parents that this wasn't at all what she wanted. She wanted the freedom to be able to date and even marry who she wanted. But she was terrified of the consequences.
"I can't." She said simply with a small shrug. She couldn't explain it all to him, even though he was the person that was most likely to get it. "It's better if I just do as I'm told."
Theo was quiet as he turned away and continued walking for a little way along the path, leaving Pansy standing there watching him. It occurred to her then that there was a chance that Theo was relying on her to contest it so that he wouldn't have to let his father down by doing it himself, but she wasn't responsible for his own decisions and she couldn't take those on as it was.
She sighed again and jogged to catch up with him. Her mind kept flickering to Neville and how she didn't think that she could live without him in her life, but how she also knew that if she did end up married to Theo or some other pureblood, she wouldn't be able to continue to see him the way that she had become accustomed.
"Theo.." She wanted to ask him that he wanted but she didn't quite know how to do that without insulting him. Ordinarily she wouldn't have been worried about insulting him, but she was all too aware that there was a chance that she might end up stuck with him for life.
"Just leave it, Pansy." Theo said quietly. "Let our parents make the plans and we can just roll over and take it for the rest of our lives."
Pansy found herself wishing that the chandelier had come crashing down on top of her, but she did as she was told and dropped the subject. They'd have other opportunities to talk this all over.