Work Text:
Jiang Cheng is frozen. He knows he should move, knows he should stop Nie Mingjue from signing the document, but he can’t bring himself to do it.
Jiang Cheng knows that this is the worst thing he has ever done in his life—mostly because it’s going to affect Nie Mingjue’s life as well—but then Jin Ling gurgles into his shoulder and Jiang Cheng tears his eyes away from Nie Mingjue.
They have to do this. They have to do this, or Jiang Cheng is going to lose Jin Ling and he cannot bear for that to happen.
This is the only chance Jiang Cheng has.
“That’s it then?” Jin Guangyao suddenly asks and Jiang Cheng guesses Nie Mingjue is done signing the marriage license.
“Yes,” the officiant says, though he sounds as unhappy about it as Jiang Cheng feels. “Usually the couples kiss, though,” he then adds and Jiang Cheng goes cold.
Theirs is not a wedding out of love or even affection and Jiang Cheng really wishes that Nie Mingjue didn’t have to do all kinds of shit just so that Jiang Cheng gets to keep Jin Ling.
But Jin Guangyao is looking very expectantly at them as is Lan Xichen, though his look holds less of a challenge, and Jiang Cheng knows that they can’t talk their way around this.
“Of course,” Nie Mingjue says and then he turns towards Jiang Cheng, his face softer and more indulging than Jiang Cheng ever deserves, he’s sure of that.
“Come here,” Nie Mingjue mutters, before he tugs Jiang Cheng close. He frames his face with his hands—Jiang Cheng tries very hard not to think about how big they are and how perfectly they feel, cupping his cheeks like that—and then he pulls him close for a kiss.
Nie Mingjue is very mindful of Jin Ling, who is still blissfully sleeping through the whole event on Jiang Cheng’s arm, and then every thought flees Jiang Cheng’s mind, because Nie Mingjue brings their lips together.
It’s soft and almost fleeting, but it’s sweet enough that it brings tears to Jiang Cheng’s eyes.
This is everything he ever wanted and he got it all for the most horrible wrong reasons now and as soon as they are done Jiang Cheng turns away from Nie Mingjue.
“Oh,” Lan Xichen mutters and when Jiang Cheng looks at him—everything is safer than looking at Nie Mingjue right now—he sees a thoughtful look on his face. “I see,” Lan Xichen softly says and then tugs on Jin Guangyao’s sleeve. “Let’s go, A-Yao,” he says and while Jin Guangyao looks like he wants to rip Jin Ling right out of Jiang Cheng’s arms, he turns around and follows Lan Xichen out of the room.
“Well, that’s that then,” Nie Huaisang says, with much more cheer than this whole situation warrants in Jiang Cheng’s eyes, and he ushers them out of the room as well.
Jiang Cheng was very adamant that there would be no celebration—this is nothing to celebrate, in his eyes, and he is still in mourning after all—so he’s not sure what’s expecting them right now.
“Let’s go home,” Nie Mingjue says, one hand protectively at the small of Jiang Cheng’s back, and Jiang Cheng has to bite back some tears yet again.
He knows Nie Mingjue only agreed to this because Nie Huaisang is Jiang Cheng’s best friend, and Nie Mingjue never learned to say no to his little brother—even in life changing things. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if he should be thankful for it or if he should hate it.
“I’ll leave you alone, so you can put him to sleep properly,” Nie Huaisang says, carefully stroking a finger down Jin Ling’s soft baby cheek and Jiang Cheng fights the instinct to snatch Jin Ling away from him.
Nie Huaisang is not going to take him from Jiang Cheng, he reminds himself. Nie Huaisang is the only reason Jiang Cheng gets to keep Jin Ling, after all.
Well, one of the reasons, because it’s only thanks to Nie Mingjue agreeing to his horrible plan that Jin Guangyao doesn’t get to be Jin Ling’s guardian.
“Thank you, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue says when it becomes clear that Jiang Cheng is not going to find his voice any time soon and then Nie Huaisang is gone.
The ride home is a blur to Jiang Cheng, his mind going through all the consequences this decision will have for Nie Mingjue, and Jiang Cheng is very close to a panic attack by the time they reach their newly bought house.
Jiang Cheng didn’t want to live in the family home—it felt wrong, as the only remaining Jiang—so they sold it soon after the accident, and Nie Mingjue thought it would be better if they don’t subject Nie Huaisang to a wailing infant, so they bought a new house for them.
Jiang Cheng is sure he would like it, normally, but the circumstances make him hate it more than he can put into words.
Jin Ling makes an unhappy sound when Nie Mingjue stops the car, and before Jiang Cheng can react to that, Nie Mingjue is already there, taking Jin Ling out of his carrier.
Jiang Cheng is too tired and still too full of grief to appreciate the sight of him carrying a small baby, but they are married now.
Jiang Cheng is sure he’ll get to see it again when he’s in a better headspace and then it’s bound to be as devastating a blow to Jiang Cheng’s feelings as it’s supposed to be.
“It’s okay, I can do it,” Jiang Cheng mutters, already reaching out to take Jin Ling from him, but Nie Mingjue pushes him towards the house with one hand, the other securely holding Jin Ling.
“It’s alright,” Nie Mingjue reassures him. “Let me do it for now.”
Jiang Cheng can’t find it in him to protest, but he vows to himself that it won’t be a regular occurrence.
Nie Mingjue is already doing him a huge favour by marrying him; Jiang Cheng really shouldn’t unload even more duties on him than that.
“For now,” Jiang Cheng says and leads the way to Jin Ling’s room.
Nie Mingjue was the one who picked out most of the furniture in the house, since Jiang Cheng was too shocked by everything that happened to participate much. He likes what Nie Mingjue picked, but even if he didn’t, Jiang Cheng knows he would never tell Nie Mingjue.
It’s his house, too. He should get to make some decisions, when he already couldn’t really choose who would live in it with him, or who he would marry.
Jiang Cheng can’t bear to watch Nie Mingjue put Jin Ling down, so he finally takes him out of his arms and then puts him into the crib himself, and Nie Mingjue lets him without commenting.
Jin Ling stays fast asleep, and the moment Jiang Cheng moves away from the crib he breaks down again.
“I’m so sorry,” he sobs out and immediately Nie Mingjue is there.
He pulls him into a hug, and simply lets him cry, like he did so many times in the past. Jiang Cheng has not been the most stable person lately.
“What are you sorry for?” Nie Mingjue asks when Jiang Cheng calmed down at least a little bit and Jiang Cheng is glad that his face is still hidden in Nie Mingjue’s chest.
“You can never divorce me,” Jiang Cheng says, because ever since Nie Mingjue put his signature on that damn slip of paper, he’s been thinking about it. “You can’t. If you do, they are going to take Jin Ling from me. You have to wait until he’s at least fifteen and gets a say in the whole matter or until Jin Guangyao dies.”
The last part startles a chuckle out of Nie Mingjue and he agrees easily. Too easily, considering the fact that Jiang Cheng is ruining his life.
“Alright. No divorce, then.”
Jiang Cheng’s mouth twists with how bitter he’s feeling, but there is nothing he can do to change it now.
If Jin Guangyao even suspects that they are not the happily married couple they pretend to be then he’s going to rain hell on Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng is not strong enough to stop him and his army of lawyers.
If Nie Mingjue leaves him, then there’s nothing preventing Jin Guangyao from taking Jin Ling from him.
It was already a hard enough fight to get the court to agree to this; a stable family home with two married parents was the condition for Jiang Cheng to get custody of Jin Ling since he was admittedly a mess after he lost his entire family in less than a year.
He had barely started to cope with the death of his parents when Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan died in a more than suspicious car crash and Wei Wuxian disappeared that same night.
To say that it left Jiang Cheng reeling is the understatement of the year and the only reason he even somewhat pulled through is the fact that he had to care for Jin Ling and that Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang were there for him through it all.
And now they are forced to be there for him for the foreseeable future, if they want to or not. Jiang Cheng barely knows what to do with himself around Nie Mingjue, his crush on the other man nearly debilitating in its intensity, and every time Jiang Cheng reminds himself that Nie Mingjue only agreed to marry him to keep him from shattering completely it feels like he’s being sliced wide open.
But they are going to play a married couple now and they are going to do it well enough for Jin Guangyao to believe it because otherwise Jiang Cheng might just join his family if he loses Jin Ling as well.
“It will be fine,” Nie Mingjue says, and Jiang Cheng only somewhat belatedly realizes that he’s still pressed to Nie Mingjue’s chest.
He moves away, a telling flush rising on his cheeks, but Jiang Cheng scrubs a hand over his face and hopes Nie Mingjue will think it’s because of the tears.
He wants to keep his last shred of dignity, at least.
“I hope so,” Jiang Cheng whispers, his voice rough, and he turns back to the crib, where Jin Ling continues to slumber on.
Jiang Cheng only hopes he can protect his nephew.
~*~*~
Living with Nie Mingjue is a form of hell, specifically tailored to slowly drive Jiang Cheng insane.
Nie Mingjue is perfect.
He loves Jin Ling and dotes on him, but he’s also the only one in this house with any knowledge of child-rearing, so he takes the lead in a lot of things.
Jiang Cheng is eagerly soaking up every morsel of knowledge Nie Mingjue gives him and Jiang Cheng thinks he’s not half bad at caring for Jin Ling as well, even though he sometimes does burst into tears as well when Jin Ling is inconsolable.
Nie Mingjue never once held it against him and always very calmly consoles first Jin Ling and then Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng thinks it’s entirely unfair that he’s the only mess in this fake marriage but on the other hand he’s glad about it. If they were both messes no amount of fake marrying another could have prevented Jin Guangyao from taking Jin Ling away from Jiang Cheng.
But Jiang Cheng is very weak and very much in love and his heart can absolutely not take even one more single sweet gesture.
Jiang Cheng has to tell Nie Mingjue that he’s in love with him simply so he stops doing things Jiang Cheng is entirely unprepared to cope with and then he has to pray to all the gods Jiang Cheng knows that Nie Mingjue will still stay.
They don’t even have to share a room anymore; Jiang Cheng isn’t sure why they are doing it in the first place, but he was in no place to protest the first time it happened and then it simply kept happening, and Jiang Cheng thought the moment to bring this up had long passed.
But he keeps waking up with Nie Mingjue next to him, always curled towards him and on the very bad days he wakes up cuddled up to Nie Mingjue which is all kinds of bad.
It can’t go on.
“Wanyin, if you’re worried about something, put Jin Ling down, you can’t keep squishing him like that, he’s not a cat,” Nie Mingjue gently chastises him when he finds Jiang Cheng pacing in the baby room, Jin Ling in his arms and Jiang Cheng immediately gentles his hold.
“Am I hurting him?” he asks, frantically checking Jin Ling over, but he thinks that if Jin Ling was truly hurt or uncomfortable, he would be screaming his head off by now.
“No, but you can’t keep using your nephew as a prop,” Nie Mingjue says with a small smile and then simply takes Jin Ling from Jiang Cheng.
Who is left standing in the middle of the baby room, the love of his life cradling his infant nephew to his chest and Jiang Cheng has never felt more love than in that moment.
And it’s a problem.
“Please don’t divorce me when I’m done,” Jiang Cheng blurts out and effectively catches Nie Mingjue’s attention.
“I thought we already established that I wouldn’t?” he gives back and Jiang Cheng worries the hem of his shirt instead of answering him immediately. “Wanyin, what’s wrong?” Nie Mingjue asks, clearly picking up on the fact that this is not one of Jiang Cheng’s usual meltdowns.
“I know you did this as a favour to Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng starts and very deliberately doesn’t let his mind stray to the first and only time Nie Mingjue has kissed him, because that is so the wrong thing to think about at the moment.
“And I know we said this was for appearances only, so that I could keep Jin Ling,” Jiang Cheng goes on and he’s ashamed when he realizes that he’s shaking.
He has always been so weak.
“But?” Nie Mingjue prompts him when he doesn’t go on and Jiang Cheng takes one last deep breath.
“But I’m in love with you. I have been for a really long time, and I can’t do this anymore. I—you’re so attentive and sweet, and so good with Jin Ling and you allow me all kinds of liberties like sleeping next to you or holding me during a movie, but it’s not right. I shouldn’t be the one you give all of that to.”
Jiang Cheng is breathing hard, but he’s not yet done, even though he can’t meet Nie Mingjue’s eyes, not before he got it all out there.
“You can’t divorce me and we cannot take the chance of you taking a lover and Jin Guangyao finding out, so that really leaves you settled with me, and I am so sorry for it. I know you probably imagined your life differently than helping out your brother’s friend and losing all chances of a happy future for yourself, and I can never thank you enough for it, but it’s not fair to you at all, especially not because I never said a thing.”
“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says and his voice holds enough authority that Jiang Cheng’s eyes automatically snap up to him. “When I imagined marrying you, I always thought it would be because we’re in love,” Nie Mingjue tells him, and Jiang Cheng’s heart starts to race at those words.
The hope that blooms in his chest is a very dangerous thing, Jiang Cheng knows it, but he’s not strong enough to smother it completely.
“I thought you weren’t in love with me when you asked; you were desperate and grieving and it seemed like the only idea to you at the time. But I never agreed because you’re my brother’s friend. I agreed, because you’re Jiang Wanyin and I’m in love with you. I thought like this I would at least get to take care of you.”
“Oh,” Jiang Cheng whispers, blinking rapidly because Nie Mingjue’s words simply don’t compute.
“I love you,” Nie Mingjue says, softer this time, and Jiang Cheng sways forward.
It’s not a problem at all, because Nie Mingjue welcomes him readily, one arm already extended to him and Jiang Cheng melds against his body like he was made to fit there.
And suddenly a thought crosses his mind.
“Is that why Jin Guangyao hasn’t been pressing so hard anymore? Because Lan Xichen realized what you really felt when you kissed me that day?” he asks, because he remembers the little sound Lan Xichen had made and how he had tugged Jin Guangyao away.
“Yes,” Nie Mingjue says and presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head.
“Why didn’t I realize?” Jiang Cheng mutters as he slings his arms around Nie Mingjue and he can feel Nie Mingjue chuckle.
“Because you were a little preoccupied with your kid and the loss of your family,” Nie Mingjue gives back.
“Our kid,” Jiang Cheng corrects him immediately and then prays for forgiveness from his sister.
“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue whispers and Jiang Cheng reluctantly lifts his head to look at him.
It was a very comfortable spot to be in.
“All this time?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng nods.
“All this time,” he agrees. “Every time I woke up with you still in bed I thought I was dying. Every time you are just so amazing with Jin Ling I want to die on the spot because it’s the perfect picture. Every time you are more than good to me my heart hurts because I thought that was just how you are. But it’s not, is it?”
“No, that’s just for you,” Nie Mingjue nods and then he sighs. “I was trying to give you space,” he then admits. “I would have cuddled you more if I had known it was okay.”
“And kisses?” Jiang Cheng dares to ask, because by now he trusts this.
If Nie Mingjue says he loves him, then he does.
“All the kisses,” Nie Mingjue gives back and immediately leans down to kiss Jiang Cheng.
It’s just as soft as their first kiss, but it’s a lot sweeter, simply because Jiang Cheng knows that it’s mutual this time.
That Nie Mingjue really wants this, him. It’s a very good feeling.
“So, no divorce?” Jiang Cheng asks when they part again and he melts on the spot when he sees Nie Mingjue’s dimples as he smiles.
“Never,” he promises and Jiang Cheng believes him.