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Language:
English
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Published:
2020-11-05
Words:
512
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
11
Bookmarks:
1
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264

How Naruto became Hokage (according to my friend)

Summary:

A crack fic written by my grumpy friend about how Naruto became the Hokage.

Notes:

The context for this is that I had just finished Shippuden and was unsatisfied with the fact that we never see Naruto becoming Hokage when that was Naruto's goal. So this was his take on the process. I am a Kakashi simp and he is an Obito stan hence the anger towards my main man. I also slandered Kiba a bit for his Hokage dream which my friend did not take kindly to. This is all for laughs and not serious at all.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

You really wanna watch that boring ass process 👀 here's what's gonna happen🙃: Kakashi is gonna realize this shit ain't for him (cause he's a bum) and even with Guy trying to convince him otherwise he's gonna say fuck it I'm retiring. He's gonna call a meeting with the elders and jounin council and they're gonna say ya ok sure you've done about 10 years or so (and they know he's a bum) and then it gets gonna go to the daimyo. Daimyo just gonna wave his fan and not say anything substantial. His goons are gonna say who are you nominating (a few jounin mention my man Kiba but now turned Naruto simp Shikamaru bursts out with Naruto... what a disaster 😔). Kakashi and the squad say yes naruto has shown a lot of talent for being a ninja and hero and despite being a genin he makes a good figurehead and has the right personality. The goons say ya that sounds decent. The daimyo is gonna say "who's Naruto?... oh the kid with the yellow-" "shut up" says Kakashi (cause he's a bum with no respect) "oh my" the daimyo waves his fan a bit more frantically. No one says anything against Kakashi because in addition to being a bum he's proven to have psychopathic tendencies and no one is trying to get chidoried and die in a meeting hall. Anyway, everyone agrees to naruto and after a few threatening sparks from his fists, the group that was gonna suggest Kiba is "persuaded" to vote Naruto.
Naruto is informed the next day about the news after coming home from a 3 day mission and wanting to spend time with his 3 year old Boruto, telling him stories about Sarada's dad. He then breaks and almost sheds a tear when Boruto shouts "Uncle Sasuke sounds so much cooler than dad". Kurama reminds him he should have worn a condom instead of having a shadow clone bang session with Hinata. Naruto goes to the bathroom to cry. All this success and in the end, he still actually failed to bring Sasuke back. Anyway, there's a knock on the door. "It's Shikamaru!" Hinata shouts after opening the door. Naruto tries to compose himself and comes downstairs to see his friend panting at the door. Shikamaru is now very unfit from all the desk work. "Hey Naruto remember when I said I'd make sure you become Hokage?" The two friends smile and go get ramen. They pass a bar and find Kiba crying over his 3rd bottle of sake rice wine. He knows the thing was rigged but what can he do.

The next day Naruto wakes up with a hangover and his mouth covered in ramen. Hinata is not impressed as she had to wake up early to clean up ramen vomit on the porch. Naruto tries to sneak past and pats a young Boruto on the head who is making patterns in the ramen vomit.

Naruto gets to Hokage office where bumkashi has left him a mountain of paperwork... "this shit sucks"
The end.

Notes:

My friend is actually a really good writer and I'm trying to convince him to make an ao3 account and post some work. Please comment if you would like to see him post a good piece of writing.