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Jeno thinks Jaemin is different.
He's not sure why, but he is. He finds himself watching him a lot. He watches how the other talks, but only when he has to. How he never really shows emotion, unless those around him do too.
And sure, Jeno gets being an introvert, things like that. At times, he thinks he's similar to Jisung. But for the majority of the time he spends around him, Jaemin isn't like anyone Jeno's ever met.
Everything about it was sudden.
When other members had joined, they'd been expecting it. Some they'd trained with, all of them they'd known prior. But Jaemin had just, showed up. Jeno had remembered it had felt like being introduced to a new student in school. This is Jaemin, he'll be joining the group for the next comeback.
That was it. Nothing else.
Of course, Jaemin answered questions they asked, how old he was, what his positions would be, how long he's been dancing, where he was from. But it still felt different.
Jeno often wonders if he's the only one who thinks it. Nobody else has said anything, so he doesn't either, but he's sure it has to be on his member's minds too.
Jaemin didn't fit in.
In the mirror of the practice room, Jeno stretches, but he doesn't watch his own reflection. He watches the other do the same, stretch his arms and his legs, mess with his hair a little. He sighs, why does it bother him so much? It seems so normal from the surface, Jaemin's presence, but he just knows there's something more to it.
He moves to retrieve his bottle of water from the side of the room, leaning briefly to pick it up. As he's unscrewing the cap of the bottle, he takes notice of Chenle coming to do the same. "Chenle," He greets. "What do you think of Jaemin?"
Chenle pauses what he's doing to consider the implications of the question. Then, he shrugs lightly, and goes back to his own water. "I don't know. He's only been here a few months," He speaks, pausing to take a few sips from the bottle. "But he's nice. Just quiet."
"Quiet compared to you, you mean." Jeno teases to ease whatever mood he's created with the question.
Chenle smiles a little at that. "Whatever."
Jeno knows Jisung is the one who likes Jaemin the most. Jaemin is his roommate, and the one he seems to spend the most time around lately. Before, it had been himself or Mark that Jisung would turn to for help with choreography or cooking, anything like that, but now it was Jaemin. Jeno wished he understood it.
"Alright, let's get back to practice." He hears Mark.
It's a particularly exhausting one, leaving everyone needing several minutes to catch their breath. Everyone but Jaemin, that is. He realises the other is staring at him, while he's lost in breathlessness from the intense choreography, and is rendered still for a moment. Jaemin looks away, down at the floor.
He's considering saying something, but Jaemin is talking before he can, mainly to Jisung. "I've got something to do. I'll see you back at the dorms?"
Jeno sees Jisung nod and go back to an intense-looking conversation with Chenle about a game Donghyuck had introduced him to, but his own focus stays on Jaemin.
His gaze remains on him as the other grabs his stuff and heads out of the room. Jeno only hesitates a moment before he's getting his own bag, slinging it over his shoulder. "I'm heading out too. Be back later." He says to no one in particular, and rushes out after Jaemin, so that he doesn't miss the direction he goes in.
Once out of the room, he sees the other disappear around a corner. He exhales, still tired from the practice. Is he really going to waste the rest of his afternoon following Jaemin God knows where?
Yes, he supposes he is.
It sounds ridiculous, when he actually considers what he's doing, all for the sole reason of Jaemin just seeming off, but now he's too devoted to turn back, he has to know.
With very little subtleness, he follows around the corner, just to see Jaemin turning another. How does he even know his way around the company so well? It'd taken him years to memorise where every turn took him.
He still follows,
And then Jaemin enters a room, casually, as if it's his own. Jeno can't remember exactly what it is, some sort of storage room, he thinks. It makes him frown, frown further, he hadn't even realised he'd been frowning to begin with. What is up with him?
For a while, Jeno just stays, half-leaning against a wall, waiting. A few minutes pass, and he starts to get restless. He searches his mind for any possible reason why Jaemin would need to be in a room for storage, and can't find anything. He taps his fingers against the wall, pushes off of it, paces a little. But there's nothing, like no one's around.
He grows impatient, and moves towards the door. He exhales, having a brief mental debate with himself about whether this was a case where he should knock. He does, but only softly. Once, twice.
"Jaemin?"
There's nothing of a response, so Jeno brings his hand to the doorknob and twists it open. The room is dark, only lit by what light welcomes itself in from the hallway. He has to slightly squint to see. It's mostly furniture, old chairs and tables, and for a moment he starts to think he'd imagined Jaemin coming in.
And then he makes out the other's figure, leaned over in a chair towards the corner of the room. Jeno thinks he's asleep, which leaves him even more confused than if Jaemin were to have just vanished into thin air.
He's about to say something, wake the other from whatever state he's in and ask why he'd chosen a random room to sleep in rather than his own bed, before he catches sight of the reflection of something. There's a dull, blue light at the wall behind Jaemin, and Jeno steps closer to inspect it. He realises the source is from his neck.
And there's a cord, one from his neck, it's hard to see in the little lighting, but he sees it connects to the wall. There's a small, screen , reading a singular word in the same shade of blue as the light.
Charging.
Jeno doesn't understand it.
He doesn't know who or what Jaemin is, and why he's the only one questioning it.
He's trying to focus on anything but what he'd saw, what he didn't understand. Renjun has some drama on in the background, one that he's particularly invested in, and Jeno wishes he could care even a fraction as much about it. He's paced the kitchen probably a thousand times, just waiting.
It feels like hours until Jaemin enters as casually as ever. He greets Renjun and Jisung, who are sat at the couch, acknowledging his presence as minimally as possible without looking away from the drama. Jeno watches as Jaemin passes through the room, headed for his and Jisung's.
"I need to talk to you." He says it like a rehearsed line when the other approaches his direction, and Jaemin looks up.
"Oh?"
Jeno doesn't say anything more, just moves to grip Jaemin's arm, leading him to his own room. "What are you, Jaemin?" He releases him as soon as he's pulled the door to a shut.
Jaemin blinks. "What?"
"What are you?" He repeats. "Why did I see you— charging in some storage room?"
Jeno almost thinks he sees a second of expression at Jaemin's face. "Did you tell anyone?"
"Answer the question." Jeno exhales, turning away to pace the smaller confinement of his room this time. It hurts his head, like a nagging migraine worsening with every moment.
"Jeno—"
"Just tell me."
"An android." Jaemin answers, in somewhat of a mumble.
Jeno stops, completely ceases all his movements. "An android." He repeats. "What does that even mean— You're a fucking robot?"
"Sort of." Jaemin is still looking down.
"You're not a person!" Jeno exclaims, in a fit of half a dozen emotions he doesn't recognise.
Jaemin quickly shakes his head, stepping forward and taking Jeno's arm, though the taller pulled it away in an instant. "Jeno, I know it's confusing but— Please, please don't let the others know, okay? Or anyone."
"What does that even mean? You're an android, you can't feel anything! Why do you care?"
"I can feel. I can have emotions," Jaemin looks at Jeno, standing his ground. "Because of you, because of the group. I learn how to feel emotions, to be a person from being with you guys."
Jeno is temporarily speechless. Any moment now, he's expecting an alarm to take him out of whatever incoherent dream he's in. "You're not a person." He repeats it, like he's reminding the both of them.
"I can be," Jaemin continues, with another little shake of his head. "They made me to be an idol. To be some... thing that can just perform constantly and be around people all the time and not get tired. But I'm more than that. I'm learning to be."
Jeno looks at Jaemin, at his expression. His eyes, how there looks like there's life behind them, something that can't be faked. "Why won't you tell the others, then? Jisung— Jisung loves you, you know. And you're just..."
"Because I don't want them to see me like that. Like you're seeing me now. As an android. Jeno," Jaemin takes Jeno's hand this time, and for a reason he can't name, he doesn't move away. It's warm, like a person's hand would be. He squeezes it, like a person would. It makes no sense. "Please let me be Jaemin. To them, at least. Please let me fit in."
Jeno doesn't take his gaze away from Jaemin.
Jaemin.
He's looking at an android. An android is looking back at him, holding his hand, pleading with him.
But it's Jaemin.
"Okay."