Work Text:
Throwing another folder of signed forms onto the stack of papers next to him, Matt Casey sighed, putting his pen down. Rolling his shoulders, he reached his hands up to rub his tired eyes. It was barely afternoon, and their shift wasn’t even halfway done. The pile of papers on his left side seemed endlessly big, and even though he had already gone through a fair amount today, he knew that he wouldn’t finish them this shift. It was frustrating, and it was his least favorite part of the job, but he still needed to get it done.
Puffing out some air, he let his head fall back, staring onto the ceiling for a moment before closing his eyes. He needed a break, otherwise the dull ache in his head would turn into a headache and that certainly wouldn’t help the stack of papers on his desk.
“Are you doing OK?” A voice interrupted his thoughts, and even with closed eyes, he recognized her melodic voice.
Lifting his head forward again, he opened his eyes, turning towards the door where Sylvie stood. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, her slender fingers gripping onto her upper arms. Her forehead was wrinkled, and she had her lip pulled between her teeth. She looked worried.
“I just need a little break from all these papers. My head’s starting to hurt a little,” he explained, and he could watch as the wrinkle on her forehead got bigger.
“Did you drink enough today?” She questioned him as she stepped closer, reaching her hand out towards him, but then stopped and pulled it back.
He hated her hesitance these days, and while he knew it was mostly because of the pandemic, it still hurt to see her distancing herself from him. Cruz’s wedding really was the last time she had been up and close to him. And then the whole covid-19 mess had started, putting an abrupt stop to their time together.
As they always worked with the same people on shift, they hadn’t gotten too many restrictions for their station. Shift change these days was really the only thing that had gotten more elaborate. Other than that, it was recommended to be more aware of physical distance, which was hard when they all slept in the same room, and they had a strict cleaning and disinfecting protocol in place for between calls and meal times.
The physical distance part was something that Sylvie was taking very seriously, and a part of him understood her. Together with Mackey, their new paramedic, the two of them were the only ones coming in close contact with patients, and while they hadn’t been called to a potential infection case yet, nobody ever knew who was infected these days.
Tilting his head to the side, he leveled her with a look. “I drank enough. I’ve just been staring at these papers a little too long.”
She hummed softly, leaning against the door, still gnawing on her lip. “Maybe you should get some fresh air, it might help.”
“That sounds like a good idea. Care to join me?” He asked her, standing up from his chair and grabbing his jacket. It was late September, and while it wasn’t necessarily cold outside, it was a bit windy today.
“I don’t know, I should get back to Mackey. She’s probably bored out of her mind,” Sylvie hesitated, swallowing thickly. Ambo had been on two calls this shift and knowing Mackey’s outgoing personality Matt doubted she wouldn’t find a way to entertain herself.
“Humor me, Sylvie. We barely spent time together anymore. I miss talking to you,” he confessed, throwing on his jacket. “I promise to keep my distance. I just wanna know how you’re doing.”
She didn’t seem entirely convinced, but she nodded her head softly, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket as she set a path for the back entrance.
They stayed silent on the way out, and Matt guided them towards one of the benches that were standing in the small garden area of the station. He sat down at the far-right end of it, giving Sylvie enough space to sit down onto the other end.
Luckily, she took the seat without objecting, and he watched as she laid her hands under her thighs. Swinging back and forth a few times, she hunched her back, keeping her gaze straight ahead.
“How’s the search for the third roommate going? Did you have any luck finding someone decent?” He started their conversation, turning his body towards her. It was an easy topic, one where not a lot could go wrong. At least that’s what he thought.
“No, not really. There were barely any inquiries, and the few ones I got were disturbing to say the least,” Sylvie replied, huffing softly. “Nobody seems to be looking for a room these days.”
“Have you talked to Foster’s friend about it? She’s been living with you since Emily left, right? I forgot her name, I’m sorry,” he apologized, resting his left upper arm on the back of the bench.
Sylvie kept quiet for a second, pressing her lips together. “Gillian actually moved out again already. She found a cheaper place downtown.”
Matt raised his eyebrows in surprise. “So, you’ve been living alone for the last month?”
Biting her lip, the blonde paramedic took a deep breath before correcting him in a small voice, “Gillian only stayed for about a month, so it’s been a little longer than that.”
“You’ve been living alone for two months? Sylvie, why didn’t you say anything?” He asked, trying to keep the judgment out of his voice. “Have you at least reconsidered Herrmann’s offer about the studio apartment then? You won’t be able to afford that place for much longer on your own.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” She bit back a little more forcefully than either of them expected, instantly lowering her voice as she continued, “I love this apartment. It holds so many memories I’m not ready to let go yet.” Taking a deep breath, she averted her gaze. “There are too many people at Herrmann’s house, anyway. I know we’re screened regularly, and we’re also careful on the job, but you never know. I don’t wanna be responsible for getting someone sick. Least of all one of Herrmann’s kids.”
“So, your plan is to live isolated from the rest of the world until the pandemic is over? That’s not gonna work, Sylvie,” he chastised her gently, letting out a slow breath. “Have you at least met up with Foster lately?”
He knew the blonde hadn’t spent any time with Kidd, because his firefighter was always at home with Severide. The two of them didn’t seem to mind the social distancing as much as they stayed in their happy bubble of living together. It surprised him though that Kidd hadn’t said anything to him about Sylvie shutting herself off completely.
“I facetime with her from time to time, but I haven’t seen her again after she moved out. She’s pretty busy with school now anyway,” the blonde paramedic shrugged, pushing some strands of hair behind her ear. “I’m fine, Matt. You don’t need to worry about me.”
At the beginning of the pandemic, Emily had still worked at the station and lived with Sylvie. Maybe that was one reason he hadn’t worried as much back then. Sure, he had missed talking to her, but he knew she wasn’t alone. But Foster had been gone for over two months now.
He noticed that Sylvie had been quieter lately, but he never expected her to shut herself off from everyone. It made him feel bad because he hadn’t asked her about her well-being sooner. Everyone else from their shift was living with someone else, and he had assumed that Sylvie had at least Foster’s friend at home with her.
“You’re not fine, Sylvie. And I’m sorry I didn’t ask you this earlier. I tried to give you space, and I tried to go along with your way of dealing with this pandemic, but I can’t sit around any longer and watch you fade away,” he told her in a steady voice, his left arm stretching out to her on the back of the bench.
He watched her closely, waiting for her to move further away from him or to stand up, but she didn’t. Instead, she drew her hands out from under her thighs and placed them in her lap, keeping her gaze focused on them. He had gotten good at reading her, and he knew he was getting through to her.
“Look, Sylvie. I know the world is a mess right now, and I know it’s scary and it seems like this will never end, but it will. Nobody is expecting you to know how to deal with this, but you can’t pause your life waiting for it to end. I hate to see you lose your optimism and your cheerfulness to this,” he tried to remind her.
His fingers were still a few inches away from her shoulder, and he slowly shifted in his spot, sliding closer to her. He moved just close enough for his hand to lay behind her back, still leaving a respectable distance between them. Gradually, he stretched his fingers out to her shoulder until his fingertips came into contact with her shoulder blade. She flinched at his touch, tensing up in her spot, but when he began to trail his fingers along the middle of her upper back, she relaxed into his touch.
“I haven’t even seen Amelia since Scott moved back to Rockford,” Sylvie confessed in a barely audible voice. “Scott’s good at facetiming me though, but it’s not the same. He keeps inviting me to come visit.”
“That’s not right, Sylvie. You should go and see her. She’s your sister,” Matt mumbled under his breath, letting his hand fan out across her back. “Promise me to at least think about taking Herrmann’s offer and visiting Scott and Amelia.” His hand wandered to lay on top of her shoulder, squeezing it softly.
She leaned into his touch almost instantly, her eyes closing and her head falling into the direction of his hand with her cheek resting against it. He could feel her warm breath on his hand, and it took everything in him to not pull her directly into his arms. This was already progress, and he couldn’t risk her pulling away from him again by pushing her too much too fast.
Before either of them could savor the moment any longer, the bells went off, calling all units to a car pileup. Sylvie immediately jumped up, his hand slipping from her shoulder, and he sighed in frustration.
He watched her walk towards the backdoor of the station, but when she opened the door, she stopped, turning towards him.
“Thanks, Matt. I needed to hear all of that,” she confessed, her lips tugging upwards for a quick second before she entered the station.
It was the last glimpse Matt had of her before everything went to hell that day.
They were on their way towards the scene with Squad and Engine driving up front, followed by the ambulance and then truck. They were just a few blocks away, crossing the 18 th street bridge when a black SUV sped past them, pulling in front of them for a second before swerving out again to pass ambo too.
After that, Matt didn’t know what exactly happened because in the next second both the black SUV and the ambo sheered out right, going straight over the barricade of the bridge and disappearing from his line of sight.
His eyes widened in horror, and his heart stopped beating. A cold shiver ran down his back, and as they passed the point where both vehicles had fallen off the bridge, his head turned to spy passed the broken barricade. He barely got a glimpse of the two vehicles, and his head shot towards Kidd who was driving truck.
“Kidd, get us down there,” he pressed out, clutching the radio around his chest.
“I’m on it,” she answered quickly, her voice much steadier than his. “You’ve got to call it in, Captain. Engine and Squad should reroute too, and we need at least two ambulances.”
He didn’t even wanna think about Sylvie being hurt, but he knew Kidd was right. He needed to pull himself together, otherwise he wouldn’t be any help to the blonde paramedic.
Lifting his radio, he pressed the button, closing his eyes to concentrate on his next words, “81 to main. Ambo 61 was involved in a car collision with another car, both going off the 18 th street bridge. Requesting to reroute truck 81, engine 51 and squad 3 to the accident site. We’re one minute out.”
“Copy that, 81. Engine 51, squad 3 and truck 81 reroute to the 18 th street bridge. Additional ambulances will be sent to your location,” his radio crackled just a few moments later, and a tiny wave of relief washed through him.
Just then, Kidd pulled off the bridge, turning right to get them closer to the scene. Even from afar, he could see that the black SUV had overturned and landed on the roof a few feet away from ambo which had landed on the side. Both vehicles were smoking from the hood, and he grabbed his helmet from the dashboard, getting himself ready.
Before Stella stopped the truck completely, he jumped out of the cabin, running towards the ambulance and stooping down in front of the hood to look through the windshield.
Mackey was hanging in the driver’s seat, her hands grabbing the wheel tightly, her eyes wide open. He could see her chest rise and fall quickly, her long braid dangling down her side. Following it, his eyes landed on Sylvie whose body was pressed against the passenger door, her face scrunched up. She had a cut on her forehead, and while her eyes weren’t open, he could see her breathing just as heavily as Mackey.
“Sylvie, can you hear me? Are you hurt?” He called out to her, his voice loud and shaky.
Her forehead wrinkled, and she blinked a few times, her eyes slowly opening. Relief flooded through him when her blue eyes met his. She looked a bit unfocused, but she was conscious and breathing, and that was really all that matter for now.
“Mackey, how are you doing?” He heard Stella call out next to him, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Sylvie.
“I don’t know what happened. The other car appeared out of nowhere, and when he tried to pull in front of us, he rammed into us and I lost control,” Mackey spluttered uncontrollably, followed by a soft groan. “My seatbelt is stuck, and I can’t get out.”
“Don’t try to open your seatbelt, Mack. You’ll just fall onto Brett. We’ll get you two out in no time. Don’t worry,” Stella tried to calm the young woman. “Stay calm, Mack. You’re doing great. Can you check on Brett for me? Is she hurt anywhere?”
Matt watched as the young paramedic turned her head towards Sylvie, her eyes scanning over her partner’s body.
“I don’t see her bleeding anywhere,” Mackey reported, reaching her hand out to Sylvie. “Hey, Brett. Can you hear me? Are you hurt anywhere?”
Sylvie groaned in response, her hand going up to her face and skimming over her forehead. “My head hurts, and I think I blacked out for a second,” she groaned, pulling her hand back with a wince. “But I don’t think anything’s broken.”
“That’s good, Brett. Now hang in there, we’ll get you out,” Stella addressed her before standing back up. “We’re gonna pry open the door to get Mackey out, and then we should try to cover Sylvie to burst the windshield, right Captain?”
Matt briefly glanced up to Stella, nodding his head absentmindedly before he kneeled in front of the ambo. He was stuck on his spot in front of Sylvie, his eyes only leaving her for a few seconds to look around the scene. The second they would burst the window; he was ready to pull her out.
In the back, he could hear Severide and Boden call out orders, and he also registered that his behavior was unprofessional, but the fear of Sylvie being more hurt than she let on, kept him frozen in his place.
He just sat there; his eyes locked with Sylvie’s. Pain and fear reflected in them, and he knew he needed to keep calm. Concentrating on his breathing, he took deep, even breaths, watching as she matched her breathing to his.
It seemed to take forever to get the door off and Mackey out of the ambo, but in reality, it took them less than a minute. When Gallo lifted Mackey out of the ambo, Stella tapped his shoulder, getting his attention.
“Give me your turnout coat,” she ordered him, and any other day, it would have gotten her a lecture about her tone of voice, but in this moment, he was grateful that she stepped up to take his place.
Shrugging out of his coat, he handed it to her, watching as she threw it into the ambo. It landed halfway on Sylvie, and she disappeared from his sight.
“Cover yourself with it, Brett,” Stella instructed her, right before Mouch popped the glass of the window. It shattered, and Stella quickly cleared the rest of the debris with a crowbar, making enough space to get Sylvie out.
Gallo appeared next to him then with a c-collar in his hand, but when he leaned forward, Matt stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“I got her, hand me the c-collar,” he ordered his candidate, who dutifully did as he was told.
With the c-collar in his hand, Matt leaned his back against the hood of the ambo, sitting sideways. Lowering the c-collar into his lap, he put his gloves on and reached into the cabin of the ambo, shaking his turnout coat on Sylvie softly to get the glass off before pulling it to the side to get a look at her.
“Hey there,” he whispered, taking off his gloves and reaching for the c-collar. “We’re gonna put this on, and then I’m getting you out of here, OK?”
She nodded her head in agreement, and he cupped the side of her head carefully, sliding the collar into place. Closing the Velcro, he pulled back and his fingers skimmed along her cheek for a brief second before reaching for the knife in his pants.
“I’m gonna cut your seatbelt now, so stay still,” he informed her, pushing his head into the ambo to cut the belt around her lap.
“Just get me out, Matt,” Sylvie rasped quietly, her hands wrapping around his bare arms. He was just wearing his t-shirt under his turnout gear, and with his jacket still laying halfway over the blonde woman in front of him, he could feel her icy hands against his skin.
“Just a minute, I got you, Sylvie,” he soothed her, cutting the belt by her neck too, before throwing his knife blindly out of the ambo. “Put your arms around me, so I can pull you out.”
She obliged immediately, and he rearranged his turnout coat over her to shield her from any remaining glass debris, and then encircled her upper body with both of his arms until he had a tight grip on her. Slowly and carefully, he lifted her body out of the seat, making sure not to drag her over any broken glass.
She groaned sharply, her nails digging into the skin of his neck, but he kept moving until he was able to lower her sideways onto his lap.
His eyes scanned over her body, looking for any bloody patches on her, but he couldn’t find any. Instead of feeling relieved, more worry bubbled up in him. What if she was bleeding internally? She must have gotten tossed around her seat quite a bit, not to mention the force of the ambo hitting the ground.
He was about to get up when Sylvie’s hands moved from his neck to the front of his shirt, clutching tightly onto the material at his collar. Her head came to rest against his chest, her forehead touching his throat. She cowered together in his arms, making herself as small as possible.
Her tight grip on him pulled him a little more into the presence again, and his own arms slowly wound around her, pressing her as close to his body as he could. One of his hands tangled in her hair, keeping her head firmly against his chest, at least as close as the c-collar around her neck allowed it. His other hand pulled his turnout coat snug around her, shielding her from the rest of the world.
Dropping his face to her head, he took a deep breath, smelling her unique, sweet scent, which quickly overwhelmed him. The realization that he could have lost her crept up in his head, and he closed his eyes, willing those thoughts away. She was safe in his arms, and that was really all that mattered.
Her warm breath fanned across his neck, standing in stark contrast to her cold nose and fingers against his skin, and it calmed his racing mind further.
“Casey, we should let the paramedics check Brett out,” Stella’s voice soaked through to him, and he opened his eyes, glancing up to her.
She was standing in front of him with Rafferty, who had an ambo bag slung over her shoulder. They both looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to release the blonde in his arms.
Shifting around in his spot, he rearranged his arms around Sylvie, one of his arms going under her legs, and when he had a firm grip on her, he pushed himself up from the ground, taking Sylvie securely with him.
He didn’t have to walk far to the stretcher, Rafferty following his steps but keeping her distance from him. He knew she was itching to check Sylvie properly, and when he lowered Sylvie onto the stretcher, Rafferty pulled his turnout coat off her before he even let go of her.
“Brett, what are you getting yourself into these days?” The paramedic asked her, her eyes scanning over Sylvie’s body. “Did you hit your head or are you feeling pain anywhere?”
Sylvie’s hands were still clinging to the front of his shirt, and Matt gently pried them off as he leaned away from her. He gave them a soft squeeze, locking eyes with her.
“Let Rafferty check you out. I won’t go far, I promise,” he assured her softly, allowing his fingers to trail over her hairline once before he stepped back.
He tried to keep his promise as best as he could, standing just a few feet away from her, as Rafferty checked her over. Seeing Sylvie hurt and in pain made him dizzy, and his stomach hardened painfully. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, and he realized then that he was wasting precious time with her. Their jobs were dangerous, and something could happen to either of them at any time. He had missed his chance with her once, and he was for sure not going to let another one go.
“We’re taking her to Med now,” Rafferty informed him, glancing down to Sylvie briefly before looking back up to him. “She got lucky. As far as I can tell, she just got a couple of bruises, but nothing is broken. This could have gone a lot worse.”
He nodded briefly, stepping closer to the stretcher, but Rafferty stopped him.
“You can’t come with us, Captain. I’ll make sure to let them know to call you as soon as they know more,” she reminded him with a voice that didn’t leave much room for a discussion.
Pressing his lips together, he swallowed down his anger. The new regulations weren’t coming from Rafferty, but from the hospital administration, and they were necessary to stop the spread of the virus. He hated the idea of Sylvie being alone at the hospital for the time being, but there just wasn’t anything he could do about it.
“I’m gonna try to come as soon as they let me, and if I don’t hear any updates in the next two hours, I’m gonna call Maggie to check in with you,” he told Sylvie, grabbing onto her hand. “I’ll see you soon. Hang in there, OK?”
She just blinked a few times, a single tear escaping her right eye as she squeezed his hand. Her forehead was wrinkled, pain still reflecting from her eyes, and Matt felt like someone jammed a knife into his heart.
Before he could stop himself, he leaned closer to her until his face was only inches away from hers. Delicately running his fingers over her hairline, he wiped the stray tear off her cheek, giving her a soft smile.
“You’re gonna be alright, Sylvie. Let them take care of you, and don’t worry about anything else, we’ll figure it out together, OK? I’ll be there as soon as I can. I promise,” he vowed, tilting his head to the side.
She blinked up to him again, biting her lip before she scrunched up her face, her forehead wrinkling.
“We gotta go now. I’m gonna give you something for the pain, Brett. Give me two seconds,” Rafferty interrupted them, giving Matt a gentle shove to get him to push the stretcher towards the ambulance.
Once Sylvie was loaded up with Rafferty sitting beside her, Matt scrubbed a hand over his face tiredly. As Rafferty’s partner closed the doors and Sylvie disappeared out of his sight, he turned around just in time to see the driver of the SUV, a young kid probably not older than 20, being loaded into another ambulance.
Clenching his jaw, he angrily stomped over to where his turnout coat laid on the ground, grabbing it with more force than necessary before marching over to 81.
Clean up had taken a while, and almost two hours later, when they had finally gotten back to the station, Will Halstead had called him with an update. Apart from a few bruises and the cut on her forehead, Sylvie only had a mild concussion for which they had wanted to keep her overnight.
It had been an enormous relief to know that she would be fine, but when Will had told him, he wouldn’t be allowed to visit her anymore that day, his mood had dropped. Visiting hours at Med had been almost over, and Sylvie had been sleeping when Will had called him. Breaking his promise of visiting her had made Matt feel awful, but for the second time that day, his hands had been tied.
Instead of snapping at Will, Matt had taken a few calming breaths, asking Will to deliver a message to Sylvie, telling her he was sorry he couldn’t come and that he’d pick her up in the morning after shift. The doctor had promised him to deliver the message to Sylvie once she woke up again, also promising to call if anything else came up.
The rest of shift had gone by excruciatingly slow, and he had barely slept a wink. When it had finally been 8 o’clock, he had been the first to leave the station with Sylvie’s and his own bag in hand. Right before he drove off, he called Will to let him know he was on his way because Sylvie didn’t have her phone with her. During the entire drive to the hospital, Matt shifted around in his seat, eager to see Sylvie again. He knew she would be fine in a few days, but he needed to see her with his own eyes.
Pulling up to the hospital, he found her standing on the sidewalk close to the front entrance with Will next to her. She was wearing her station gear due to the lack of anyone being able to bring her something else. The cut on her forehead was tapped with a few small medical strips, and she was wearing a mask, making it impossible for him to read her facial expression.
Shutting his car off when he stopped in front of him, Will pulled open the passenger door, motioning for Sylvie to hop in.
“Morning, Matt. She’s all yours now. Just make sure she rests and drinks enough,” Will greeted him, holding the door open. “She’ll need a week off to heal properly, but then she’s good to return again.”
Matt watched as Sylvie slowly climbed into the car, wincing when she sat down in her seat. “I can take care of myself, Will. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“We both know that people who work in the medical field are the worst patients. It’s good to have someone look out for you, Brett,” Will reminded her before closing the door, and looking back to Matt, giving him a brief nod.
Lowering the window of the passenger door, Matt replied, “Thanks, Will. I appreciate you keeping me in the loop.”
“No problem. Stay safe,” Will bid them goodbye, turning around to the hospital and walking off.
With Will gone, Matt raised the window again, starting the engine. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sylvie take off her mask, and he cleared his throat, swallowing down the excessive salvia that had suddenly gathered in his mouth.
“How are you feeling today?” He addressed her, glancing over to her to watch her put on her seatbelt. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come yesterday.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Matt. It wasn’t up to you,” she told him softly, shifting in her seat. “I’ve honestly slept most of the time anyway, and both Natalie and Will came to check on me.”
It was good to hear her voice again, and even better to hear her use his first name. At work, he had mostly been Casey the past few months, and he could count the times she had used his first name on one hand. It was crazy how much he missed hearing her say it.
Pulling away from the curb, Matt set out to drive to her apartment. They fell into an awkward silence for the rest of the drive, something that Matt hated. A few months ago, this would have never happened, and he cursed himself for not stepping in sooner to reel the blonde paramedic in again.
He missed her smile and her laugh, and he couldn’t fathom how he survived so many months without her constant, cheerful presence in his life. The pandemic was on everyone’s mind these days, keeping them busy and dictating their lives. As first responders, it was hitting them hard, putting them at risk every third day.
It had consumed everyone’s mind, but he was done now. He had let himself get lost in this weird, new, normal limbo of their lives, and it had almost cost him one of his most important friends.
And if this freak accident had taught him anything, it was that Sylvie was definitely more than just a friend to him. Deep down he had known for a long time. He had tried to ask her out over a year ago, and he longed to feel that courage again.
Back then, he had just noticed her as someone who could be more to him; someone who seemed to want the same things in life as he did. And while he missed his chance with her then, she came back to Chicago for some miracle.
Over the last year, they had gotten to know each other as friends, forming a deep bond as they learned to trust each other. Having Sylvie confined in him repeatedly made him feel special. She wanted to hear his opinion, taking it into consideration, which was already a massive difference from his previous relationships.
Talking to her was as easy as breathing, and he found himself seeking out her presence as much as he could, taking every single minute he was able to get with her. After Cruz’s wedding, he was so close to asking her out again. At the reception, she had barely left his side, sitting next to him while they ate and dancing with him through the rest of the night. He had felt so blessed that day, but not even a week later, covid-19 had turned their worlds upside down.
Before he realized, they reached her apartment complex, and he parked the car on the side of the street. Turning the engine off, he unbuckled his seatbelt, already reaching to open his door, when Sylvie’s voice stopped him.
“You don’t have to bring me up, Matt. You’ve done enough for me,” she objected, and he turned back to her. Her lips were pressed into a tight line, and he could see tiny wrinkles between her eyes.
“No, I haven’t done nearly enough these past few months. I should have checked in with you instead of giving you space,” Matt countered in a neutral voice. “And I’m not gonna leave you alone now, Sylvie. I’m gonna stay with you, and you’re not gonna change my mind.”
She just stared at him for a few seconds, and Matt could see the storm in her eyes. She was trying to push him away, and these few hours without seeing him had apparently given her enough time to put up her guard again, closing herself off from the world once more.
He remembered her telling him about the time she cried alone in her car, because she tried to deal with her rough call on her own, and back then she had already acknowledged that talking to someone would have helped. He was definitely going to be there for her now; he just needed to be persistent enough. He had gotten through to her yesterday, and he would accomplish that again today.
“We should go up. Severide and Stella will drop off a few of my things soon, and you need to rest some more before that. I don’t think Kidd’s gonna leave before seeing you,” Matt told her, leaning over to grab their bags from the leg room on Sylvie’s side.
Getting out of the car, he closed his door and walked around his truck to Sylvie’s side. She still sat unmoving in her seat, so he opened the passenger door, holding it open for her. He didn’t want to come across as controlling or demanding, but at the same time, he didn’t want to give her any room for pushing him away.
She shifted in her seat, locking eyes with him again. Her face was void of any emotion as she stared at him with her big, blue eyes, and his heart hammered against his chest.
“Matt,” she whispered broken, swallowing once his name left her throat. The pain in her voice killed him, amplifying his decision to stay with her.
“Sylvie, please,” he begged her in a faint voice, holding his hand out to her. “I can’t leave you. I know you’re not well, and if the tables were turned, you’d be right there beside me too.”
Her gaze flicked between his eyes and his outstretched hand, and after what felt like an eternity, she slowly placed her cold hand in his, slipping her nimble fingers around his bigger hand.
Half an hour later, Matt found himself standing in front of Sylvie’s room. Her door was closed, but he knew she wasn’t sleeping just yet. She had just made her way into her room after her quick shower, and until a few minutes ago, he had heard her roaming around inside.
He was holding a cup of tea in his hand, and before he could overthink it any longer, he softly knocked against the wood of the door.
“Come in.” Her voice was faint, and when he pushed the door open, he found her lying in her bed, facing the window.
“I made you some tea,” Matt offered softly, walking around her bed to place it on her nightstand. He glanced at her briefly, before walking over to the window and shutting the curtains. “You should try to sleep some more. Severide just texted that they’ll be here in about two hours.”
Sylvie kept quiet behind him, but when he moved to face her, he caught her gaze. Her hands were resting under her cheek, and she looked at him with glassy eyes.
“I don’t know why I pushed you away,” she confessed, her voice raspy.
“It’s not important anymore. It’s nothing we can change, Sylvie,” Matt instantly replied, crossing the distance between them. He crouched down in front of her bed, putting himself onto her eye level. “But I need you to let me in now. I miss you, and I’m worried about you.”
“I missed you too,” she croaked, one of her hands reaching out towards his face. Her fingertips ghosted over his cheek, and he closed his eyes at the contact. “More than you’ll know. I thought I lost you too.”
His eyes flew open at her words, and he tilted his head to the side, shaking his head softly. “You will never lose me, Sylvie. I’ve been right here the whole time.”
Pulling her lower lip between her teeth, Sylvie bowed her head, her hand going back to lay on the mattress. “I’m not OK, Matt. And I don’t know what to do.”
Puffing out some air, he reached his hand out to her, resting it on her cheek. She closed her eyes at his touch, just as he had a few minutes ago, and her hand grabbed onto his arm, gripping it tightly. “I know, Sylvie. But we will get through this together. You’re not alone, OK?” He trailed his thumb over her soft skin as she nodded into his hand. “Just tell me what you need, and I’ll be right here with you.”
She scooted back on the bed, moving her body towards the middle. Her grip on his arm didn’t lose one bit, instead she pulled it with her. “Can you just lay with me?” She asked him in a small voice, blinking up to him with her beautiful blue eyes.
There wasn’t a universe in which he would be able to resist her request, and within seconds, he moved to lay down next to her. As he crawled under the blanket with her, still fully dressed, he laid down on his side, facing her, and before he was fully situated, Sylvie burrowed herself against his chest.
Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close, pressing a gentle kiss to her head. “I got you. I’m not leaving, I promise.”
With her hands clinging to the front of his shirt, Matt closed his eyes, breathing in her familiar scent. They still had a long road before them, but he had no doubt in his mind that they would tackle it together.