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"hey, are you awake right now?" hyunjin's groggy voice was the only thing he heard in the call he just received. he chuckles slightly, smiling at the older's voice. "i was. why were you calling?" he looked outside where the gorgeous night sky illuminated through his sliding glass door. jeongin glanced at his side table as the clock read 2:17 am. he knew he couldn't sleep anyway. his mind was only clouded with him.
the line went silent for some time before hyunjin spoke again. "i needed to hear your voice." it was the younger's turn to go blank for awhile before he sighed deeply, contemplating what to say next. "hyunjin-ah, you know we're not supposed to talk right now." he whispers to the phone, looking up to the ceiling.
"i know, i just missed how your voice sounded when you talked to me." another moment of tranquility reigned between the couple, both of which craved each other's presence in the midst of midnight. hyunjin and jeongin weren't good for each other. they both knew that as well. they knew and they feel guilty to know yet have themselves still find ways to be together, even if the cosmos still tried prying them off.
"you know that i love you, right?" hyunjin sighed from the other line, fiddling with his fingers. "i love you so much."
jeongin knew that too. he can't bear to have less of hyunjin anymore, but it was better if they cut it loose. "i know, jin-ah. i love you too. more than i love myself." he smiled weakly.
they just can't be together. with jeongin's terrible trust issues and hyunjin's possessive nature, the two won't last long without having a ridiculous cat fight on who jeongin last texted or why hyunjin came home late.
every friday night just ended with a loud slap in the face or crying that lasted for hours before they'd find themselves kissing and whispering strings of sorries.
the cycle repeated like that of auto pilot and maybe jeongin just wasn't having it anymore. "can't we go back to the way it was before? don't you miss me? because i do. so damn much." the older mumbled, loud enough for the other to hear. jeongin's hand slithered up to his forehead before he heaved another heavy sigh. "i don't want to go back to us screaming at each other for an hour then make up over sex again and again. i'm so tired." he voices out. "we've talked about this, hyunjin. we can't be together unless we deal with our own problems. it's just going to fuck us up more. i don't want that for us."
on the other side, the lit cigarette between the older's fingers found it's way back to his mouth as he stared down the view of the city skyline from his 10th floor penthouse. his exposed chest was covered by the duvet as his eyes diverts from the outdoors to the glass of rum on his bedside table.
hyunjin missed jeongin so bad. he wanted to bury his nose in his neck, he wanted to cuddle him and tangle their bodies until the morning reached the sky once more, he wanted to kiss his lips before he drops him off his workplace, he wanted to do so many things.
they really weren't meant to be, many people from when they were in university said. hyunjin was the typical frat boy who partied every weekend, got laid atleast once a week, drunk heavy alcohol, tried weed countless times, and jeongin was the perfect golden boy. the dean's lister, the straight a student and the overachiever.
but that itself already made it perfect.
it was selfish on his part but he would choose to be with jeongin even if it meant his life could go worse. he knew too well the younger was right with what he just said earlier. he always was. and he loved that about him.
they weren't for each other. but fuck that. he was going to make them be for each other. fuck this city, fuck their jobs, fuck everyone's opinion, heck, fuck the whole universe.
he just wanted him back.
"can you not hang up?" he says again. "i just.. let's just talk." he mustered his courage to spit out those five words. "about what?" jeongin chuckles and god, his laugh sounded so ethereal to him. that was already almost enough to get him go up from his bed and drive two cities away to the younger's apartment.
"i.. anything, just, you know. talk. please. or you can sing. i don't care, just.. i want to listen to you." he struggles to find the right words but succeeded in finishing his sentence. their conversation went on from the most nonsensical things to jeongin talking about the time his co worker spilled coffee on their boss and getting away with it because their boss happened to be his sugar daddy, to him thinking who and why mathematics was invented.
"i mean.. like, why would you need math if someone didn't invent it in.. ha.. the first place." he rambled on, yawning every two words that came from his mouth.
"mhm, are you sleepy yet, love?" hyunjin smiles, hearing jeongin yawn through his mathematical crisis. "kinda, yeah." of course he was. it was already four am.
"go on, sleep. don't turn off the call yet." he whispers sweetly, humming jeongin's favorite lullaby until not even three minutes later when the younger finally drifted into dreamland.
the moon was still peeking from the window clearly as hyunjin stares at his phone screen. "i.. don't know if i can still bare this without you, jeongin-ah. i love you so much, you have no idea." he pauses for a second before continuing.
"come home soon, love. i promise by then, i'll treat you like what you deserve to be treated. i didn't realise how fucked up i was to you." he was probably talking to the air but he didn't care at this point. he wanted to reveal his feelings even if the younger didn't hear it at all.
"i'm sorry for everything. i'll wait for you, princess."
lucky for him, jeongin got to take it all in.
and he knew he was going to go back to him even if it meant the world would crumble.