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When James met the boy with the messy black hair on the train to Hogwarts, he’d known right away they would be best friends. Sirius Black was confident and loud, bold and funny. James didn’t care about his last name, and Sirius was grateful to be seen as something other than a family legacy. They got on famously from the very first “hello.”
When Peter Pettigrew, with his mousy hair and nervous disposition ended up being in their dormitory, James had instantly decided Peter was his project. James had his father’s drive to protect and his mother’s kind heart, and he knew Peter needed protection and confidence. He was determined to give that to his new friend.
Remus Lupin was another story entirely. The boy was quiet, but when he opened his mouth he had the ability to make the others nearly wet their pants with laughter. He kept to himself most of the time, almost like he was afraid to let himself become friends with the group. The urge to crack his shell and earn his friendship sunk deep into James’ skin.
James tried everything. He made Remus’ bed (he had discovered his friend liked his bed made, but often slept so long he rushed out with no time to make it in the morning), he snuck Remus food from the great hall when he was sick (he was sick a lot), he let Remus ride his prized broom. Giving Remus chocolate seemed to have the best effect, though. Slowly, slowly, James could see the shell Remus had created around himself cracking, and that feeling under his skin became even more present as he got closer and closer to earning the shy, quiet boy’s trust.
And he also learned a few secrets along the way.
After months observing Remus to find his favorite snacks or his go-to hiding spots, it wasn’t hard to piece things together. The other boys often talked about it at length while Remus was gone on his trips “home,” or while he was “sick.” It didn’t take a genius to figure out that it was always during the full moon, and soon they were no longer debating the what if’s, but instead the what now’s.
They obviously didn’t care that Remus was a werewolf. Sirius prided himself on not being afraid of anything, James was far too loyal to let any prejudice get in the way of his friendship, and Peter was simply their shadow, content to follow their lead as usual.
With growing concern, the boys watched their friend struggle each month. They tried to let him come to them, dropping hints, and hoping he would trust them with his secret. They’d gotten close enough over the last year. But he never did.
They decided it was time they went to him.
***
“You look horrible, Remus,” Sirius said as the other boy entered the dormitory.
It had been a rough transformation that month. Worse than usual, for some reason. Madame Promfrey had said it was natural for some to be harder than others, especially since he’d been very homesick the past week. The Christmas holidays seemed like ages ago, and the summer ones were a lifetime away. He missed his mum terribly.
So, no, he wasn't looking very good. He’d worn a thick, comfortable sweater to hide the raw wounds that he’d given himself, chewing on his own flesh when there wasn’t anything else to chew on. A nasty habit he’d picked up on during his younger years. His hair was disheveled, and he was sure he looked thinner than he usually did.
“It was a long trip at home, I’m just tired,” he said, giving a grim smile, the lie falling from his lips so naturally even he almost believed it.
Unfortunately, the others did not. Remus swallowed as he registered the concern and disbelief that filled each of their eyes in various degrees.
“C’mon, mate,” Sirius said. “We know you haven’t been home.”
“We can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s really going on,” Peter piped up. “We just want to help.”
Remus shook his head, his eyes wide, looking and feeling like a cornered animal. The urge to run, to get away from them and their kindness, away from where they could get him to speak the truth that would turn their love into hatred, was overwhelming.
“I...I can’t,” he gasped, then tore out the door without another thought.
Peter sighed, and started to straighten Remus’ books. He always turned to cleaning when he felt uncomfortable and knew that his friend liked a clean desk.
Sirius and James shared a look, having a conversation without words as only they could.
Should I go after him? James asked in a nod towards the door.
A pursed lip. He might need more time.
A sigh. We need to tell him.
Sirius shrugged his shoulder, leaving it up to James and ending the conversation. He turned back to his books. He would be there as soon as Remus needed him, of course, but James was much more delicate and tactful in these types of situations. He would give his friend a head start and join them later.
James hesitated a second before following his gut and heading to find Remus. Throughout the years, he had learned a lot of his friend’s favorite spots to go to when he was upset. He rarely encroached on his friend’s space, but just now he felt it was warranted.
Remus was huddled underneath a tree by the lake. The weather was just starting to turn warmer, and he relished the ability to be outside with only a jacket again. He quickly wiped his eyes as James approached and flopped down beside him, leaning against the tree.
“Listen, mate, we’re your friends. We just want to look after you. We don’t give up on people, and we certainly aren’t going to give up on you,” he said, after a beat.
“I know,” Lupin whispered, his voice pained. “But you should.”
James sighed, deciding to rip the proverbial band aid off. “I know you’re a werewolf,” he confessed.
Remus looked at him, his mouth opening and closing a couple times before he stammered out, “I...you...what?”
Suddenly, a new voice cut in. “Seriously, Remus, you’re a rubbish liar,” Sirius said.
“We figured it out months ago,” Peter added.
“And we don’t care,” James said firmly.
Tears filled Remus’ eyes. “You should. I’m a monster. I’m dangerous. I-”
“Oh stop being such a drama queen,” James interrupted. “You fold your socks, Remus. Do forgive me if I’m not trembling at the sight of you.”
“You’re not taking this seriously,” Remus said harshly. “I could kill you.” He emphasized his point by angrily shoving his sleeve up his arm to reveal the red gashes that criss crossed over older white scars, a cruel scrapbook of his life that only pictured his lowest moments. “This could happen to you, only you won’t survive it.”
The others were silent as Remus’ anger filled the space around them, but James could see the self loathing that was the true cruz of the matter. He slowly reached out towards his friend, trying not to spook the boy, and gently tugged him into a hug.
“Remus, we aren’t going anywhere,” he said. Remus was paralyzed in surprise for a moment before bringing his arms up to return the hug.The others quickly joined in, enveloping their friend in the warmth of their bodies and friendship.
But soon the quiet moment ended.
Sirius, unable to help himself, dug his fingers into Remus’ side, which made him giggle. Then Peter joined in, and soon they were all on the ground unable to stop.
Remus sobered first, but a grin stayed on his lips as he looked at these three boys who had finally broken through his walls, who had really seen him and still loved him.
“Thank you,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” Peter said simply.
“Yeah, mate. Who else is gonna make sure we finish our homework in time,” Sirius grinned.
James slung his arm around Remus. “One condition, though.”
“What’s that?” Remus asked suspiciously.
“No take backs. You’re stuck with us now.”
Remus smiled bright as the sun, warm and genuine. “I think I can live with that.”
“I’m telling you, mates,” James said dramatically. “This is the beginning of an era.”