Chapter Text
Tommy wasn’t a kid with a lot of fears. He was loud, brazen, and frequently described as annoying. But, there was always one thing in the back of his mind. He didn’t know if he would describe it as a fear, specify. Maybe he was just lying to himself though. He feared what people would think, even if the situation was illogical. It was impossible not to.
The fear was the fact he was trans. He didn’t like to talk about it. The only people who knew would avoid the subject like the plague. Tommy didn’t mind, he understood it was hard to grasp. Why talk about something so unnecessary, when it could change how people think of him or ruin friendships entirely?
Which led him to this moment. He was sitting with his friends from the internet. Both Tubbo and Wilbur were there and Tommy was overflowing with joy for most of the day. Now, after dinner, the tone had shifted, and the three were casually chatting at Wilbur’s place. Will had even pointed out that Tommy was calmer than usual. Tubbo laughed and agreed.
Tommy smiled to himself. The three were talking about how streaming could seem overwhelming a lot of the time. It was another niche topic that very few people could relate to. The conversation soon switched to the way their fans viewed them.
“It’s really interesting to hear about people who hear my music for the first time, even though I posted the songs years ago. It’s nice. One person on Twitter tweeted at me that they had that moment where they’re like ‘wow, holy shit. A youtuber I basically idolize goes through the same shit as me.”’ Wilbur said. “It’s a little weird, but I suppose it’s sort of like like the ‘you’re not alone in this kind of thing,’ right,” Wilbur asked.
Tommy and Tubbo quickly agreed, and Tubbo added on.
“Yeah, like how Eret has the coming out counter on his streams. I’d never known an actual lgbtq person before that you know,” He paused. “Am I forgetting a letter?”
Tommy and Wilbur let out short laughs and they reassured him he got it right.
Tommy felt a combination of relaxed, emotional and brave. This always led somewhere interesting, and Tommy could never stop himself from talking, so his consensus took a backseat to his actual thoughts when he spoke. At this point the filter of his brain was pulling out the popcorn.
“Yeah it’s lesbian, gay, bisexual,”
“Like Eret,” Tubbo interjected. Tommy smiled to himself, taking it upon himself to guess Tubbo was tired at this point.
“Trans, and then just queer,” Tommy finished.
“It’s too bad there aren’t any big trans streamers,” Wilbur said simply. “The fans were so welcoming about Eret, but there are still a lot of prejudices about trans people in the community. Some of the misconceptions about them I see sometimes makes me sick.”
Tommy smiled. He knew a large portion of his fans were lgbtq but it didn’t make him any less nervous. He decided to rip it off like a bandage.
“I have something to tell you guys,” Tommy said quickly and quietly. “Like serious.” Wilbur and Tubbo remained silent, looking at him after nodding. “I’m trans.” He looked at the ceiling for a minute, before the two hugged him from both sides.
“Thanks for telling us Tommy,” Tubbo said. Tubbo cuddled into Tommy and Tommy held him in return. Wilbur’s hug was lighter, but still as emotional.
Wilbur added a simple, “Yeah, and if you need to talk about it with anyone, we’re always open.”
Tommy hadn’t even realized he’d start crying.
Wilbur supplied a kleanax and Tubbo provided more hugging.
After Tommy calmed himself, they gave him some space. “Sorry about the crying. It’s been a while since I’ve told anyone.”
“Its fine, Tommy,” Tubbo said, reaching for a kleanax himself.
“What pronouns would you like us to use?” Wilbur asked politely.
“He/him is good,” Tommy said. “I’ve already transitioned.” Tommy smiled to himself. Even though it’s been a while since he’d had a bad trans kid experience, it felt good to know you pass.
Tubbo piped up, “Can I ask if you were born as a girl?”
Tommy shook his head, “It was actually like being born in the wrong body, not changing into a boy.”
Tubbo nodded, “Oh okay. I guess it’d feel pretty wrong if I were born in a girl’s body.”
Wilbur spoke again, being a bit more careful than Tubbo. “If I could ask, are you binding currently?”
“Yes, unfortunately, I only have a few,” Tommy said awkwardly.
“Alright, I know what I’m getting you next holiday.”
Once again, Tubbo inquired, “What is a binder?”
Tommy answered simply, “It’s to make me look more like a man, you know, for my chest.”
Tubbo nodded again.
“Do you think you’ll ever come out to your stream?” Tubbo asked, curious as usual.
“It might be a while. I’ve only ever told a couple people irl, and I’ve had mixed reactions from them all, but like Wilbur said, there are still a lot of misconceptions about people like me. I’m not ready for that yet.”
Wilbur smiled, “Well, we’ll support you no matter what, child.”
Tommy shouted a ‘hey’ at the use of the word ‘child’ but all was forgotten when Tubbo hugged him again and Wilbur ruffled his hair.
Over the next few weeks after that, Tommy noticed an uptake in Wilbur and Tubbo calling out transphobic people in chat. Although, Tommy thought to himself, it would’ve been nice if they’d done it even before then. This would be the perfect time for Tommy to make a callback to the conversation earlier. You know, when Wilbur mentioned the fan listening to his music for the first time. Sometimes something doesn’t feel real or important until someone important to you is experiencing it.
It didn’t matter when they started it, only that they were doing it now, he thought. And they cared so much, too much even. The viewers began to speculate, but Tubbo and Wilbur showed up to comfort him.
The situation cooled down after a serious steam with Tommy, Wilbur, and Tubbo about boundaries, and they all even talked about various lgbtq issues in the streamer community. Tommy faked cluelessness for a lot of it, to throw people off and thankfully Wilbur and Tubbo caught on. Wilbur, being the godsend that he was, told the viewers he had been told a large portion of his audience was bi and then he decided to do research on the whole community.
The steam ended and the three felt very successful. They went out to eat and had a pleasant night of laughter and love. Tommy thought to himself, he couldn’t be more grateful for his wonderful friends.