Title: The List
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)
Characters: Beelzebub, Gabriel
Pairings: Beelzebub/Gabriel
Word Count: 575
Rating: PG-13
A/N: After Episode 1x6
Summary: Oh, Gabriel. heeheehee
Beelzebub stares up at the ceiling with an absolutely blissful look on her face. "That wazzz amazing. I don't understand. You were horrible at it the last time around. Have you been watching porn again?"
"Erm..."
She glances over at Gabriel. He's red and sweaty in a way which has absolutely nothing to do with what they just finished. He's also slowly sliding towards the edge of the bed, as if he's going to bolt to the shower. "What did you do, Gabriel?" When he doesn't answer, she sits up, crossing her arms over her chest. "Which one of them did you ask? Pleazzze tell me it wasn't Hastur."
"What!?"
"Zzzeriously though, who did you talk to?" Beelzebub thinks about The List and wonders if a number of things have now been clarified.
"I had a bit of a discussion with Aziraphale and Crowley. It was very awkward. Crowley kept making noises and motions which made Aziraphale laugh." He runs a hand through his sweaty hair while looking everywhere except at Beelzebub. "I took notes so I could study and then I may have made a female version of myself in a hotel room to practice and that got every weird and a little more enjoyable than I thought it would and I forgot to soundproof the room and female me was... she was very loud and someone called the front desk and I ended up having to do a bunch of miracles before I made her vanish and then I ran away."
Beelzebub blinks. She starts to say something, changes her mind, and then ends up clapping a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling. He's not joking, she can see it on his face, and then laughter she's been smothering bursts free.
"It's your fault, Bee! You told me I was horrible at it. I'm never horrible at anything!"
"Zzztop. If I laugh any harder, I'm going to rupture something." She swipes at the tears running down her cheeks. "Did it ever occur to you we could juzzzt practice? The walls here are soundproof so no one will bother us."
"Oh." He eases himself back onto the mattress. With a snap, a very wrinkled and slightly stained piece of paper appears next to Beelzebub's leg. "I know you want to do all the things, but The List is rather daunting. There are a couple of these they refused to explain to me. I didn't want to look it up myself because what we can do and what humans can do aren't always the same."
"I think we can cross off thizzz one. Fucking around with yourself has to count as masturbation of a sort. But, this stays here because I didn't get to see you do it. We'll just need to make the bed bigger." She grins. "Which ones are still confusing?"
"Well, forty-two and fifty-three sound fun, but I'm not sure what they are."
Beelzebub moves over to where he's sitting and begins to whisper things in Gabriel's ear while her hand slides along his chest. His wings manifest and she has to dodge in order to avoid being hit in the head. "Judging by the reaction, I'm going to zzzay we're doing that next."
"No, we're going to do that right now."
Her teeth sharpen into fangs as an assortment of toys appear on the bed with a snap. "Thizzz is going to be fun. Assume the position."
"Yes, ma'am."