Chapter Text
Luz awoke to the smell of roast chicken. She opened her eyes, greeted by morning sun. It was just yesterday that she left with Amity to head to the resistance, along the way they decided to set up camp at night, agreeing that they were in no rush to reach the place. Besides, being the leader of the exploration coven, Amity was eager to venture forth and discover phenomena she'd never seen before. At the border of the dark forest, a couple miles behind the knee, they set up camp and slept for the night.
Now back to the chicken.
Her nose twitched, very accepting of the delight it was experiencing. She felt her stomach grumble, wanting a part of whatever that delightful smell was. Grunting softly, she lifted her eyelids which felt like heavy-caliber lead and sat up, rubbing her eyes.
"I'm coming Mama," she called out, mind swirling and vision slightly blurry.
Then she froze, her eyes focused on the familiar interior of the tent as her sight became clearer.
Right, I live here now, in the Boiling Iles, Luz hung her head, slightly disappointed. The smell had reminded her of the days her mom woke her up for breakfast. Those bright mornings, her mom threatening her with tickles if she refused to get out of bed, and the delicious meal her mom always had on the table when arrived. Luz smirked, reminiscing days on the human world.
Fortunately, despite that brief flashback, the smell itself wasn't a hallucination, it was real. Something was being cooked outside. Luz could hear the sizzling oil and some sort of boiling pot outside the tent. The smell of chicken permeated through the entrance and went straight for her senses.
The effect it had on Luz was huge, her mouth began watering as she licked her lips. She couldn't remember the last time she's ever eaten anything better than "grub," a tasteless, bland, and plain meal that only served to refill her energy. For the first time in a long time, Luz could feel the craving deep beneath her skin.
But I don't cook
Luz, curious of this miracle, peeked outside. Her eyes widened upon spotting Amity. She was mixing something in a medium-sized pot which was sitting on top of fire. In front of her, a blanket of leaves weaved together like an apron protected her from droplets of stew escaping from the pot. She was humming a mellow tune as her hand swirled the soup with a wooden ladle. Her face looked bright as usual, her mouth sporting a wide grin as she felt the beat of her song.
Amity then turned back, letting go of the ladle and walking to a bunch of ingredients laying on the ground. Luz's heart jumped a bit as the ladle started sinking, but to her surprise the ladle began spinning the contents of the pot on its own, like it had come to life. It spun the pot in a rhythmical motion, programmed to do so by Amity.
Amity can do animation? Luz thought to herself, then she glanced at the small pile of fruits, vegetables, and spices Amity was staring at. We didn't gather any of those before we went to bed. She wondered when Amity found the time to find so many ingredients in such a short notice. There were potatoes, carrots, leeks, and even some pieces of bell pepper, vegetables that were pretty difficult to find in such a despondent forest.
As if on que, Luz heard tiny footsteps approaching Amity's way. Her initial reaction was to prepare for a fight, but she stopped herself once she saw what approached Amity. A couple of pygmy stone golems, each about a foot high, carrying various forage from their trip. They lined up in front of the pile of ingredients and began depositing their haul on the mound. Amity stood beside them, giving them a look of approval as they each took small steps away from the fruits and vegetables.
"Good, good," Amity rubbed her chin, smiling , "Keep up the good work, Luz is going to love this." Amity softly giggled after mentioning Luz's name.
She picked up a bell pepper and turned towards the pot, her smile turning into a frown as she squinted at the boiling stew. "Okay maybe it could be a little more spicier," she trotted to the fire, used a crude stone knife (that she crafted herself), to slice it into multiple pieces and tossed them into the pot. Luz's tummy ached as the smell grew stronger, small volume of saliva dripping from the edge of her mouth.
"Perfect," Amity's smiled once again as she tasted the tip of the Ladle, "should be enough." She looked at a stone golem beside her, "what do you think?" she asked, bringing the wooden spoon close to its mouth, the familiar raised its hand and did a "thumbs up" sign, showing its approval.
...Did she just let a summon taste her food? Luz observed Amity with confusion all over her face.
Amity, seemingly proud of her work, took two stone bowls laying beside the pot and filled them up with the soup, evenly dividing the vegetables and broiled meat between the two bowls. As her ladle dripped with the creamy delight, Luz's nose twitched, catching a whiff of the flavorful aroma the stew was emanating.
*Grrr* Her stomach rumbled again, this time louder than the previous one. Amity turned around after hearing the low growl. She noticed Luz watching her from the distance and waved at her, inviting her over to wooden block she'd prepared as a seat. "Just in time Luz!" she shouted, "I just finished making this chicken soup—" she paused, "—well I say 'chicken' but it really is just a stray fowl my golems hunted." She held out the two bowls, each filled to the brim with stew, "they taste good though!"
Luz eyed the bowls like a tiger stalking its prey, every fiber of her body wanted to jump at the soup and devour it, but she held back the urge to rush. She didn't want Amity thinking she was some sort of savage in the woods. "O-Okay..." Luz answered, an eye twitching from all the restraint. Her arms and legs moved robotically, cranking up and down like unoiled gears. "I-I'm heading, there, slowly, l-like a human."
"Are you okay? you sound kinda...weird." Amity said, "you also move kinda weird." she scratched her chin.
And whose fault is that Luz rolled her eyes, fearing more suspicion from Amity, she stretched a bit, bringing life to her limbs, and went straight for the wooden blocks. "I'm fine, must've been a rough night for me." she smiled uncomfortably, chuckling as she crossed her arms.
"Well, enjoy, I hope this makes you feel more energetic. We have a long road ahead of us. I reckon it'd be a two-day trip to the knee and s four day trip to the resistance" Amity reached out to Luz with the bowl in her hand. "And besides, It's my turn to show-off my skills." She raised her brow and wore a smug face.
Luz smiled, "thanks Amity, for making this."
Amity's cheeks turned red upon hearing Luz's sudden compliment, her smug expression completely wiped from her face. She looked away, mumbling, "you're welcome."
Luz, after enduring so long, finally cast her eyes on the bowl. Steam rose from the stew, the smell of finely roasted meat slathered with all kinds of spices slowly crawling up to her nose. Luz gulped, then thrust her spoon on the bowl, the utensil was slowly enveloped by the creamy soup. Upon pulling the spoon away, thick droplets dripped from the edge, emphasizing just how rich in flavor it was.
Unable to wait a second more, Luz finally took a sip.
Time stopped for a moment as the stew spread across her mouth. The meat just melting atop her tongue as she tasted almost every ingredient she saw in the pile. Every hair in her body stood up, eyes opened wide in delight, and she felt herself drooling more intensely than ever before.
"Mmmgh!" Luz exclaimed, "This is amazing!" she blurted out for a second before taking another spoonful and shoving it her mouth.
Amity looked pleased, but her face quickly transformed into one of doubt, "Are you sure? I mean, you can just say its bad if you don't—"
Luz grabbed both of Amity's shoulder's looking her straight in the eye, "trust me Amity, this is the best meal I've ever had my whole life." Amity jerked a bit in response to Luz's assertiveness, but seeing the sincerity in her eyes, her shoulders relaxed.
"But to call it the best..." Amity paused, a blush forming in her cheeks, "that's kind of a stretch isn't it?" she turned away in embarrassment.
"Amity, I'm not kidding, this is the BEST." Luz affirmed her opinion, taking another spoonful of the soup and bringing it to her mouth.
Amity still didn't seem convinced, "but that's just how I usually make my meals, except adding a bit more flavor for your preferences but, it's the same 'chicken' soup."
Luz paused, savoring the stew in her mouth, then glancing at Amity, "Buh ish gooh— agh!" she spoke, her mouth still full of soup, a piece of carrot escaped her lips and barreled straight to the ground.
Amity chuckled, "Ok NOW I believe you,"
Luz scowled at her, then swallowed again, this time making sure her mouth was empty. "I mean, for us assassins, food was just a source of energy, like oil for a lamp. As long as it had the right 'ingredients' for a stable body, that was enough." Luz reached into her pockets, bringing out a bar of...something. It had no labels, no brands— nothing, it was just a bar wrapped in plastic. She tossed it to Amity, who inspected it closely.
"We call those rations, the assassin's coven is full of them. Every morning, afternoon, and night we take 1 each," Luz took another spoonful of soup, "thewhn carreh owhn wif ourgh mwiffion." Luz spoke, her cheeks inflated as she tried to prevent the stew form spilling out as she explained.
Amity inspected the ration again, taking it out from its wrapper and breaking a piece off. She tossed it to her mouth and chewed for a second, then immediately spit it out, obviously repulsed from the snack. "it tastes like paper." Amity extended her tongue looked down, " wet, soggy, paper."
"It's okay," Luz remarked, obviously having grown used to is bland taste over the years.
"No," Amity shook her head, "it's not," she stood up, walking back to the tent. After a minute she came out, holding the rest of the ration's Luz had in a leather bag. "Is this the rest of it?"
Luz nodded, and a second later the bag was engulfed in purple flames, The ration bars, along with the leather bag, burned to a crisp and fell on the ground as ashes.
Luz's body froze in terror, "my—!"
"You will not be eating that thing while I'm around, not even a bite." Amity, seeing the whole stash now a pile of ash, walked back and sat in front of Luz. "I'll be handling our food from now on, and you don't have to worry about the times I can't cook like this—" she grabbed something from her pocket, a 'ration' bar she wrapped in leaves. She tossed it to Luz. "Taste it." Amity smiled smugly.
Luz set her spoon down on top of the bowl and removed the leafy wrapper on the bar, revealing a dried piece of "chicken" meat laced with pepper, salt and some other spices. She shoved it in her mouth, eyes widening in the process, "Mm!" she exclaimed, it tasted much better than her old rations, but was just as compact and durable and worlds tastier.
Amity grinned in satisfaction, "so no more of those 'rations' Luz, ok?" she held her hand out, knowing full-well that Luz had some in her pocket. "I don't even think they're as nutritional as you say they are, something this bland...just impossible."
Luz shoved her hand in her pockets and dug for the remaining rations. She held them out to Amity who took them and burned them to a crisp.
Luz felt a part of her die inside as she watched the snack she'd been having for six years just disappear, but one look at the chicken soup and the "chicken" jerky and all her doubts were erased.
Amity glanced at Luz with delight , seeing her hungrily devour her food like that. It was as if she'd just had her first meal in ages.
But suddenly, her smile turned into a frown, and a heavy weight descended on her shoulders as she came upon a realization: Luz did just have her first meal, her first meal in six years. For the longest time since her banishment, she'd always been eating that bland piece of...garbage every day her whole life.
Amity winced, Luz never really had the choice to pick otherwise, it was the same bar— breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She stared at the ground, kicking a pebble as she thought, "—and she never had anyone make her anything else... not until now" she mumbled.
"To think you've been eating that all this time," Amity muttered as she glanced back and forth between the half-bitten ration and Luz , letting out a deep breath and resting her cheek on her palm.
What was life at the assassin's coven like? she wondered, realizing that despite all that's happened, she still knew next to nothing about Luz. Doubts began to rise in her heart, giving her the feeling like something was pressing down her chest, suffocating her. Her shoulders felt stiff, and she lurched forward as she began to feel tired.
Luz, noticing Amity's troubled face, paused for a moment and called out, "Amity?"
Amity looked up, her trance being broken by the sound of Luz's voice, seeing Luz's concerned expression, she faked a smile and replied, "It's nothing,"
Luz, oblivious to her thoughts, went back to munching on her meal.
Amity sighed, the more she saw Luz innocently chowing away at the food, the more she feared asking about her past. She remembered Luz talking about how the witch almost... killing her every "training" session they had, and how she had to... kill for her meals. She remembered how hurt Luz had been reliving those memories, and she was afraid asking would only hurt her more.
But for some unknown reason, she felt like she just had to do it— for Luz.
Truth be told Amity cared for Luz. Before meeting her, Amity remembered swearing that the moment she found her, she would be making a world where Luz could live in peacefully, away from the hate of being a human, away from Belos' evil plans, and away from anyone or anything that wanted to hurt her. She remembered swearing to herself that night, and she was not backing down now.
Taking a deep breath, Amity turned towards her, "Hey Luz?" Luz's ears perked up upon hearing Amity call out in a soft voice, Amity looked down, as if she was afraid to ask her question. She raised a finger and opened her mouth slightly, but realized no words were coming out. She tried again, but the fear of making Luz go through her past again terrified her.
Luz eyed her curiously, "Yeah?"
Amity's face crumpled up as she held her breath, her face turning slightly red. "Luz," she said, finally getting the resolve to look Luz straight in the eye, "I know it's only been a short time since we saw each other again, but I'm still confused and If you don't want to its okay but—" Amity started babbling, raising her shoulders and making all these weird gestures with her hand. She was cut off however, when Luz panted a hand on her shoulder.
"Amity, it's okay," Luz reassured her, she looked like she was just as worried for Amity as she was to Luz. "I don't mind sharing if its with you."
Amity sighed, then nodded, clenching her fists and looking at Luz once more.
"I want to know about your past, what happened after the Emperor banished you to the Dark Forest." Amity spoke directly, not choosing to mince any words after Luz's encouragement. Her eyes were serious, "please."
Silence surrounded the two as Luz sat still, the stone bowl still on her hands. She gently laid it down beside her, spoon and all, and proceeded to rest her hands on her knees. Her face looked pained as she reminisced events in her past: Eye's shut, mouth curled downwards, hands clutching her pants tightly, and her arms visibly shaking. Amity saw sweat forming on her temples, emphasizing just how hard it was for Luz to recall her time in the wilderness and the assassin's coven.
At the sight of Luz struggling to respond, Amity quickly looked up, quickly regretting her decision, "never mind what I said—!" she panicked, but Luz gripped her shoulder tight, as if to say "it's okay."
Luz finally having found a place to start, tilted her head upwards to meet Amity's eyes. Amity froze for a second, Luz's eyes were filled with a mix of anger, sadness, confusion, but most of all, apathy. She must have been reliving all those emotions to give Amity a proper narrative. Luz's grip got tighter, but Amity ignored the slight pain, this was the best she could do for Luz, after all, it was her who asked for it.
"These memories..." Luz started, her tone as heavy as her dark expressions, "I remember them perfectly, the curse of good memory is funny isn't it?" her words implied she was joking, but everything about her spelled otherwise, her head was hung down and her mouth was smiling uncomfortably.
"Luz wait—" Amity interjected, but again, Luz looked at her, this time, pleading for her to listen.
Amity froze, after seeing the conviction in Luz's eyes, she knew nothing she said would stop Luz from talking.
"The day I was banished... " Luz's face fell, her eyes staring at the billowing grass, "it was the worst day of my life."
Amity's heart sank as she looked at Luz, eyes filled with sympathy. Luz wasn't looking at her, but she hoped her feelings reached her.
"I remember it like it was just yesterday," Luz grimaced, "Being separated from Eda, King, everyone who ever cared for me. Banishment didn't just mean being prohibited in any city, it meant being thrown in a dangerous place with nothing but your magic to help you survive." Luz looked down, clutching her hand tight, Amity could see a little blood escaping from her palms, "I was fourteen Amity, I'd just learned my fire spell. And they threw me into that horrid place filled with creatures far more dangerous than Grometheus."
"I found myself stuck there, with only a handful of glyphs to survive." Luz continued, "at that time my head was filled with all these fantasies about witches and magic," Luz chuckled, "I thought I could make it. I believed I was one of those princesses that were thrown in the forests to die but came back stronger." she paused, then raised up the sleeve in her right arm, revealing a very nasty scar over three inches long and an inch wide, "this wound here proved I couldn't have been more wrong."
Luz covered her arm again, letting her sleeves down, "By the time the first day was over, all my glyphs were used up, and I stood on a pile of dead wolves, bruised and beaten but alive. I barely lived during their attack, but I did. I remember thinking to myself 'I bought myself another day."
Luz's eyes fell, "I had hope, like in the fairytales, that Eda, King— even Lilith would come for me. I just had to survive for a week, at most a month." her voiced became deeper, "I believed."
"The second day wasn't any easier, creature after creature came after me, thinking I was easy prey. If I didn't discover that I could use my blood to write my glyphs I would have been clawed to death by a bunch of harpies." From the blood in her palm, she dipped a finger and drew a simple light glyph on a leaf, turning it into a ball of light. "Again hope sprang in my chest, I thought everything was ok, i had unlimited magic, meat from the monsters that tried to kill me, and water from streams." Luz looked up, facing Amity, "all I had to do was survive."
"A couple of weeks passed and I realized my body getting weaker, my arms were giving out and my cheekbones palpable under my eyes." She touched her cheek, massaging them carefully, "turns out, the way I used my blood to draw glyphs was taking a big toll on me. Every glyph I made, every spell I cast, drained both my physical and magical reserves." Luz then lifted the finger she used to draw on the leaf, revealing beaten up fingertips. "to make matters worse, the wounds I sustained trying to make glyphs became infected, festering wounds with no cure lying around— relying on my own body's strength was my only hope."
"My magic was weaker, much weaker," Luz dropped her hand and sighed, "but the worst had yet to come, as I lay there, sick and tired, a ferocious creature had found me."
Luz took a stick and began drawing on the ground, "a dire wolf."
Amity's hair stood up, Dire wolves were one of the fiercest species of canines in the forest area. They had a thick hide, fur which could repel even the strongest magics, and teeth that could turn boulders to dust. To have one chasing Luz down, she couldn't imagine the hardship Luz had faced in the past.
"I didn't know what it was at that time," Luz explained, "so using my last bit of strength, I thought about taking it down, but after exhausting my blood to the bare minimum, and seeing it lunge at me unscathed, I realized, this was a fight I could not win."
Luz spun the twig in her hand, "but from my experience in the human world, I knew wolves couldn't climb tress, and so using up the last portion of my strength, I climbed the nearest tree and prayed, hoping it couldn't reach me— and it couldn't" Luz tossed the stick away, "but then it waited, sitting below me, patiently waiting and waiting for me to come down, It was intelligent, it knew I had no food, I was forced to make choice between dying of hunger or becoming his meal."
Luz then grabbed another stick and drew a bunch of trees all lined up.
"Thankfully the tree I climbed belonged to an ecosystem, those who bore edible fruit, those who had a fresh water running in their trunks, and those who had..." Luz paused, her stomach shaking in anxiety, "a diverse group of bugs—" she placed a hand on her stomach, "—edible bugs."
"And so with that, the treetops became my home." Luz said, "with the wolf still lurking around below, I traveled tree by tree gathering insects, fruits, and storing water in a wooden jug I carved." she reached out to her arm and ran her hand though it, "of course, I suffered many insect bites, many stings— I once woke up with a centipede crawling in my face, It bit me so hard I had to bite it back to kill it." She sighed, "but it was better than dying."
"Months passed, and after tons of insect bites, feverish days, days where I felt paralyzed from the neck downwards, I finally became accustomed to life on the trees."
Luz's face crumpled up, "but there was still no Eda." Luz faced downwards, her face scrunching up, "hundreds of days had passed, but there was still no sign of rescue."
Luz then returned to the drawing of the wolf and drew multiple arrows around it, "during that time the wolf would disappear for couple minutes, bringing back prey it would feast on as it waited," Amity saw Luz fiddling with the sand beneath her, "it was smart, at most it took less than ten minutes to hunt prey and come back." She erased her current drawing of the wolf, "I don't know why, but it never left for good, even after months of waiting."
"One day, as usual, it left to hunt, I waited a couple of minutes for it to return, but those minutes turned into hours, and those hours into days, it never came back." Luz grabbed a twig and struck it on the ground, "whatever it was the wolf hunted that day...it killed the wolf."
"I waited a whole week just to be sure before I set foot on the ground." Luz stomped on the earth, sending a small dust clouds scattering across her seat. "Planting my feet on the ground after months of stepping on twigs and broken branches felt the best. I remembered feeling free at that time despite still being trapped within the forest. The smell of the soil, touching the small shrubs that grew below, it was refreshing."
"The feeling didn't last however, I soon found myself face to face with the killer of the dire wolf, a thunder boar." Luz said, and seeing Amity's confused face, she explained, "it was a huge boar, about as tall as a house, its tusks were as thick as a witch's leg, sharp as as a wolf's teeth, and hide much thicker than the dire wolf's."
Amity flinched, slightly shaken up by Luz's description.
Luz continued, "I gave it my all that day, every last ounce of magic I had within me I exhausted just to fight the beast. I learned alot in my time up in the trees, I had to use what I'd learned to keep myself alive. Fire spells were ineffective, plant spells would just be ripped apart, and venom just bounced off its hide." Luz paused, drawing each glyph she used, "it seemed hopeless at first, but I realized like every beast it had a weakness— its eyes. Beneath those lay its brain, and without the brain, the boar was as good as dead."
Luz drew an eye on the ground, "but to get close, I had to risk everything." Luz raised a her shirt up to her belly button, revealing yet another scar, this one much larger than the previous one. It pierced straight through the side of her stomach and continued to her back. "I stood near a tree— standing still as it got close, and right before it hit me I dodged to the side, but I wasn't fast enough, the tip of its tusk went straight through me, crossing my abdomen and going straight out of my back." Luz winced, remembering the pain and torture she went through as the boar's barbed tusks cut her flesh.
"In the heat of the moment, the adrenaline allowed me to focus and finally stick an ice glyph onto both of its eyes, activating them and jabbing two sharp icicles straight into its core. In a matter of seconds, the boar fell flat on the ground, blood dripping from its sockets." Luz stabbed the eye she drew.
She then felt her scar, tracing its edges with her fingers, "but the wound the boar had given me was too much, I couldn't help but lay beside it, bleeding out from the sheer volume lost in the first minute. I was at my deathbed, my skin was growing paler every second that passed. I could tell death was close the minute I brought my hand to my face and saw only red."
Luz paused, then turned away, "then the worst monster of them all showed up," she grit her teeth, anger overpowering the sadness she once displayed.
"The Leader found me," Luz spit out her words, obvious hate in her eyes. "As I lay there, back flat on the ground, she walked up to me with the most disgusting smile I've ever seen. She only said five words, no more, no less."
"Do you want to live?" Luz covered her face with her hands, her voice turning deep and serious, "at that moment all I could think about was surviving, I didn't bother thinking about the consequences of my answer. I lived through monsters, dehydration, hunger, countless illnesses, insect bites, and even hallucinations, I wasn't going to die now." Luz shook her head, "I just wouldn't allow myself to."
"I told her 'yes'," Amity saw her face grow stiff with frustration, "If only I knew what she had in store for me, I would've just said no and died on the spot."
"The Leader smiled maliciously at me, and before I knew it, I'd passed out." Luz said, "I remember having a dream that day, of my life in the past: Eda selling worthless items, King being cute and adorable, and..." Luz paused, eyes full of nostalgia as she looked at Amity, You. Our dance at the grom, me helping you to the healer's station, that stupid smile you wore as I carried you. Luz chuckled, feeling warm from her memories of Amity.
"The Leader healed all my injuries, restored my blood, and detoxified my whole body during my sleep." Luz shut her eyes, a small tear escaping the corner, "I thought...I thought everything would be different, or at least better."
"Next thing I know, I opened my eyes and found myself in a cage— no, an Arena." Luz shifted uncomfortably, caressing multiple areas of her body like she was hurt. "At the corner of the arena was a thunder boar, tusks aimed straight at me. I glanced upwards and saw the Leader on a podium, 'show me your resolve!' she shouted, and commanded the boar to kill me."
She erased the eye on the ground and drew a circle, "that was it, no instructions, no explanation, nothing. She simply sent a bloodthirsty boar in my direction and let me figure out the rest."
Luz breathed deeply, "that day, I got a new scar, new concussions—" her eyes suddenly became dark, " —and a new spell that could kill beasts from the inside out, crushing their heart without leaving a trace." She drew a glyph on the ground (presumably the spell she'd mentioned) but didn't complete it, "it was a dark spell, something that should have been forbidden, I felt the same pain the boar felt as I crushed its heart— the only difference was I didn't die, bu everything else felt the same." Luz clutched her chest, "the pain, the suffering, the shock, I went through it all...to survive."
Luz dropped her hands, "I was fifteen that day, I was just a little girl..." A stream of tears started falling from Luz's eyes, "I looked into the boar's eyes as I killed it and saw myself in them, sad, trapped, alone, but I had no choice, it was either me or him."
Amity felt the world drop on her shoulders as Luz told her story. Her face scrunched up as she could only dream of sharing Luz's burden, her hands shook in anger of her own naivety, and her heart dove into her stomach as she tried to hold a hand out to Luz, but felt like she couldn't reach her. Luz was just too far away.
"After killing the boar, she took me back to a small house and gave me three ration bars, she told me I could only leave the arena if I killed whatever was inside it. Once it was over, I'd be brought here and fed, only to be thrown in again the day after." Luz continued, "I had no choice but to comply. Disagreeing with her would only lead to my death."
"And so the next day, she pit me against two thunder boars, then three in the day after." Luz raised her fingers and began counting, "Then there were four, five, seven, ten, until after a month, I found a basilisk instead."
Luz drew the different monsters on the sand, "griffins, dragons, giant snakes, manticores, and even... ancient wyverns. Whatever I found myself with in that cage, only one of us was leaving alive." Luz then swiped the drawings off with her hand, breathing deeply.
"Three years, three years I had to fight monsters every day— and I had to win. As my life got more and more dangerous, I learned more and more skills to help me survive. As the beasts grew stronger, so did my magic, and it fell into a never-ending loop of me adapting to stronger creatures until even the strongest monster the leader could find died within the first few seconds of encountering me." She said, "By that time I was already broken. Life or death didn't matter. I went in the arena, killed whatever was there, and left, waiting for the next day to appear."
"It was only when I fought my first 'witch' did I realize how far gone I was," Luz muttered, eyes staring up in the sky at nothing in particular,
"There was an assassin that tried to leave the coven, I couldn't remember his name, but he had red hair and blue eyes. The Leader told me he was one of the elite assassins in the coven, one of the best, but like always, it was either him or me that walked out of the arena alive."
Luz grasped at nothing in the air, "He was dead in seconds." her hand was shaped like it was holding onto something, a beating heart, only to crush it with force, "I didn't feel remorse, guilt, or anything even. It was just a normal day. I ignored his pleas for help, his claims of having a family, I ignored it all and killed him on the spot."
"Finally the Leader looked at me, she seemed very pleased at the abomination she'd created. 'You're finally ready' she told me, after three years of torture and abuse under the hands of monsters and her, she finally told me 'training' was complete." Luz glanced down, eyes bloodshot from her past memories, her hands were shaking, trying to restrain herself from exploding in rage. "I was finally ready to become an assassin."
Luz waved her hands, and a small knife popped out of thin air, "I was given a small knife and thrown with the other new recruits. They gave me a target and a deadline, and just like my time in the arena, finishing the mission meant another meal and a night alive at the coven." She threw the at a tree, impaling it halfway through the blade on its trunk. "At that time I thought every assassin had gone through the same 'trials' I'd gone through, living every day like it was your last." Luz sighed, "turns out new assassins were sent to training grounds to spar, practice different styles of weapons, and were given another day despite failing."
"I was an outlier, a monster the Leader had created for her own selfish purpose. But none of that mattered," Luz looked up, facing Amity with blank eyes, "I was nothing but a mere pet. I'd forgotten everything from my past, the time I spent with Eda, the moments I spent with King, all of those memories disappeared from my heart as my body count increased. I didn't remember every person I've killed, not even what they looked like, I simply followed a routine."
Luz leaned back and looked up at the sky, "wake up, find my target right beside me as I did, go through the details, then head out for the kill. I return by night and by then, my fatigue would take over and force me to fall on my bed asleep, only to wake up the next morning to a new target."
Luz closed her eyes, deep in thought, "after a year of living in the wild, and three years surviving as a caged creature, I was finally granted access to civilization once again as an assassin." She rubbed her temples, "I was eighteen at that time, it was only four years ago I was drawing light glyphs, attending classes in Hexide and making silly challenges with Boscha," She stopped, then shook her head, "then next thing I know I was cutting off heads of war criminals and corrupt authorities like it was the most normal thing to do."
Luz glanced at Amity, "the day I'd gotten you as a target was just like any normal day for me, it was going to be a quick mission." She took Amity's hand as gently as she could, caressing her fingers like they were the most valuable thing in the world. "You can see how that ended," she clasped Amity's palm, holding her tight.
Amity didn't resist, not even one bit. Instead she put more strength on her hand, returning Luz's touch, telling her she was there. She turned towards Luz, and with a weak voice, Amity asked, "why didn't you kill me?"
Luz could only shake her head, "I—I couldn't, everything was there, my position, the weapon, the reason... but my hand wouldn't move." Luz chuckled, "turns out, I still had some heart in me." She fiddled with her fingers, nervously choosing her next words, "when I saw you, I remembered. I remembered when you first called me out as an abomination, when we fought that snow monster in the Knee, our trip to Willow's mind, grom night, and the time you helped me out with Boscha."
Luz sighed, "with all those memories resurfacing in a split second, I just felt...lost."
"I was just supposed to leave but—" Luz paused, looking straight into Amity's eyes.
"—I woke up— and I called you." Amity finished Luz's words. She nodded, affirming Amity's claim. "and the reason you looked so resistant when I ran towards you was because—" Amity cut herself off, remembering the time Luz tried to push her away, saying she wasn't the same Luz she was finding.
Luz nodded again, then looked away, shame clouding her eyes, "I was not the same human you danced with at grom six years ago. I was a depraved pet,: she hugged herself tight, "at that time, I couldn't imagine someone like me, being so close to you, who lived your life with a purpose, a goal. I was corrupt, far from saving, I could never have lived with myself if I'd involved you with—" she motioned to all of herself, "this."
Amity stared at her, "but you didn't leave, you could've just torn yourself away from me, tossed me aside and left. Instead you held on, protecting me from the Juggernaut, protecting me from your allies, and even your leader." Amity pushed her face closer to Luz, demanding an answer, "what made you stay?"
Luz, unable to take the pressure of Amity's gaze, turned her head, Her hand, still within Amity's hold shook as she dug her brain for an answer. Why did she stay? Why didn't she run off and die somewhere else? Luz racked her head, closing her eyes and thinking.
But she already knew the answer from the start.
"You, Amity," Luz finally answered, "you were the reason I stayed." Luz faced her and edged closer, "You told me it didn't matter what I was, what I did, none of it mattered to you." she smiled, eyelids slowly falling down and her cheeks becoming a bit red, "I know you haven't heard of my past then, but I just knew whatever it was, I saw it in your eyes, it was okay."
Amity blushed, remembering her bold declaration of to Luz that night.
She noticed a tear falling from Luz's eye, "That was the moment I realized, I'd been given my second chance." Luz held her hand tight, "you."
Amity, unable to hold herself back, pressed her head forward, closing the distance between their foreheads. She began crying profusely, just like how she cried back at her house. She sobbed, screamed, wailed at nothing in particular, but she had to do it, she had to let her feelings out. She closed her eyes and cried more and more, letting go of Luz's hand and wrapping her arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace.
She gripped Luz's back with her fingers, clawing them as strong as she could until Luz flinched in pain, But she didn't care, Amity wanted Luz to know that despite everything she'd said, what she'd gone through, she was still willing to be with her— no matter what. The tears that fell from Amity's face dampened Luz's knees, the dark patch only growing and growing as a waterfall had formed on top of Amity's cheek.
Luz reached up to her cheek, and upon feeling a wet sensation, she realized that she too, had been crying non stop for the past minute. She extended her arms and returned Amity's hug, not in the same fashion she did— with so much force and yearning— no, Luz held Amity to reassure her that she wasn't going anywhere. She gently closed her eyes and lets the tears fall silently as Amity cried her heart out,
"I'm sorry Luz! I'm sorry!" Amity shouted as loud as she could, gripping Luz tighter, "I should've been there with you. I should have been exiled with you," Amity pounded lightly on Luz's back, "I can't forgive myself for not being there when you needed me the most." She whimpered, toning down her voice. She was finally giving the reaction she wanted to give the whole time Luz was telling her story. Amity thumped her again, "things coul've been different if we were together."
Luz smiled compassionately at Amity's offer, "No Amity," she whispered, gently running her hand through Amity's back, "then it would've been me who couldn't forgive myself for dragging you along with my problems." Luz patted her head, "You're fine just where you are, here by my side, now." Luz emphasized the last words, trying to absolve Amity of any guilt she felt.
Amity only sobbed louder, pushing her head against Luz's, "then that's where I'll be, forever!" She swore, pulling Luz into an even tighter hug, "I'll always be here, I'll cook for you, I'll treat your wounds, I—I'll make sure you never have to suffer again." Amity began making all these promises, promises Luz had always wanted to hear. Promises that showed someone cared.
Luz let out small cry, barely able to stop herself from becoming a loud mess, she sniffled, leaning closer into Amity, bringing her lips close to her ears. "No more takebacks okay?" she said, burying her head on Amity's shoulder, hiding her tears, "even if you want to," she said in a shaky voice.
Amity shook her head as strong as she could, rubbing her cheeks on Luz's, her tears clashing with Luz's face, "never." She declared with every fiber in her body. Then she slowly lightened her hug, pulling back and looking Luz straight in the eye, "never," Amity said once more, putting her hands behind Luz's head and pulling her forehead close, planting her lips on them like she was comforting a child.
"never."
***