Chapter Text
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“How are you feeling today Jared?”
Her hair is a very irritating shade of brown. Almost dirty blond but not quite. It scratches at Jared’s brain like a taunt. “I’m good.”
She isn’t convinced, made obvious by how she looks pointedly at his greasy hair and unshaved face, a tight smile at her lips. Adjusting the thick black glasses on her nose, she leans on the table more.
“Are you getting enough sleep?”
“Yes.”
“So the sleeping meds are working.”
“Yes, but they don’t work there.” There’s the signature indulging smile making an appearance. Jared knows exactly what she’s gonna say next, so instead of listening to her words, Jared lets his mind take him outside this room, away from white and cement and into memories full of colors and magic. They’re memories, he knows they’re memories; no matter how scared he is of them being just dreams that he’ll forget someday, something tells him that he never will.
He took this appointment voluntarily, takes all the appointments willingly, but that doesn’t mean he likes them. One reason is that they haven’t done anything yet that’ll tell him that he’s crazy, that there’s any other explanation.
“Jared?”
He hums and realizes that she’s expecting an answer from him. “I asked how your paper is going.”
Ahh, the paper. “It’s going good. Should be published on schedule.” It will, and it will be one of the most significant journals on serpent studies that nobody will pay attention to. He doesn’t wanna talk about it.
The therapist, Ms. Blake, tells him very seriously about how he should be careful about his meds, advises some mind games that’ll help him fill the gaps in his memories and tells him “See you next time.”
Jared doesn’t return the sentiment. Who knows what could happen tomorrow, right?
Jared Padalecki’s story is one of those stories that students use to amplify how being too invested in studies can drive you nuts. Not literally, of course; it’s not like he’s a physicist or some other real scientist. He’s just an archeologist, someone that digs dirt and takes pictures of rocks. But still, the few people that do know the story almost always put the blame on taking knowledge too seriously; a grade A student hitting his first few expeditions head on, on a roll one after another until it becomes one too many and the brain snaps from too much pressure. His parents would beg to differ though. They always knew that this would happen, that’s why they always told him to get a grip. He never listened, behaving as if they were his enemies. If only he was more like his brother, they would have both their sons.
They aren’t totally wrong; Jared has to give them that. He did rebel a lot growing up. For instance, he refused to get his first date a pink frilly gift, instead got her a basketball. He also chose a ‘not a subject’ subject in college, and a lot of other instances between these two. But anthropology isn’t just a choice to piss his parents off though; from the minute he entered his history class in elementary school, he’s wanted to touch history, to get his hands on Santa Maria and King Tut.
But when Jared gets the acceptance letter to investigate the origin of snake worship and its influence in modern culture, he can feel his anxiety rush. This is going to be different from his previous projects; searching for Nefertiti in the valley of kings, with tons of theories and circumstantial clues to guide him, is not the same as digging through thousands of years of mythologies worldwide, woven everywhere from medicine to astronomy.
He’s nervous, of course, but he’s also thrilled. This is what he spent years in the library for, getting his hands on the ruins of one history after another. And there are very few other cultures as wide-spread and influential as these symbolic reptiles.
His mom, of course, isn’t as thrilled to know that just after spending months in Egypt’s burning sun; her son is now going to be spending months in jungles searching for various snake entities.
“You do know that snakes are venomous right? They can kill you.”
“I’ll be careful mom. It’s not like I’m gonna be handling actual snakes.” Jared grunts out, balancing a bowl of mac and cheese in one hand and a cartoon of juice in the other, closing the fridge door with his hip. “just sculptures and texts mostly”
His mom bypasses the last sentence in favor of the first one. “Which are in jungles? Jared, is this what you’ll spend your life doing?” her tone changes from accusatory and loud to a soft soothing tone, like she’s about to do him a favor that he won’t like.
“Your father is looking for a CEO.”
The urge to remind her that he has a job, one that pays all his bills and takes him around the world is strong, but Jared refrains. Doing that will only lead to being reminded that his paycheck has less zeros and that he doesn’t have an office. And of course, “These things don’t matter” she says in unison with Jared’s mind.
Obviously his mood is leaning towards very bad when he’s finally done being reminded that he’s the only man in his family that isn’t serious enough about being a man. He’s almost pissed at himself for letting her ruin it for him, for still feeling like a lost child in the face of discipline. The bad mood continues through his nightly process, finally letting up when he burrows under the covers and starts thinking about green mountains and stony sculptures.
His schedule is to gather data from Asia first, because that’s the continent with the largest and arguably the most influential traditions relating to serpents. He spends months in various parts of India and Sri Lanka, gains a lot of data and an even darker tan.
Jared’s partner, Susanne, is a tiny post-graduate student. She looks at Jared like she’s scared that he’ll start yelling at her any moment, and looks at him with something else in her eyes when she thinks he’s not looking. He tries not to think too much about that.
Which doesn’t prove to be too much of a problem. Four days into their travel to Jawi, a remote island in Indonesia, just when they’re getting used to the island set-up enough to start digging around their base a little, things take an unexpected turn. Their main search area is the temple called Candis located on top of a small hill. It’s the most populated part of this area and is often visited by pilgrims and tourists. Which is why when Susanne jerks back from an ancient stone vase she was inspecting, Jared’s head doesn’t immediately ring the danger bells. He puts down the things in his hand and goes to crouch down beside her.
“You ok?”
She’s clutching her gloved thumb in her right hand, a tiny smear of blood staining the tip. “Uhh …yeah. I think I just got stung by something.”
“Lemme see”
“No no!” she says, embarrassed and a little bit panicked. “I’m ok. It was probably just ants or something” Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, she returns her focus to the object before her. So Jared lets it drop and goes back to his work.
A few hours later, Jared’s cursing himself and wishing he could go back in time and tell himself not to drop the matter. Because Susanne’s hand is blue, swollen and a fever is well on its way.
The local “doctor”, who Jared suspects is actually a compounder in the city, tells them that it was probably a venomous spider.
“What?” Susanne goes pale as a paper.
“Spider of the less toxic kind” the doc rushes to assure and proceeds to tell them how the fact that she’s alive after three hours mean that it wasn’t that venomous. Which, yeah, not very reassuring. So Jared doesn’t even think about objecting when Susanne demands to leave as soon as the sun rises. Instead, he makes all the necessary preparations to get her into a hospital ASAP and makes sure that she can go back to the states as soon as she gets clearance from the medics.
“You sure you don’t want me to come with?” he asks as he boards her in the speedboat. “Yes. I’m sorry that I’m leaving. But I’ll send someone else as soon as I can.’
“Don’t worry about it. Take care and keep me updated you hear?”
This is how Jared ends up in the jungle alone, following a map that’s supposed to take him to a Shiva temple that locals believe is natural rather than man-made. It’s two in the afternoon, the sun burning straight over his head. Swiping at droplets of sweat on his forehead, Jared reassesses the map in his hand and his current position. If his calculation is correct, it’ll be at least another hour before he reaches his destination. The grumbling in his stomach is proof that it’s way past lunchtime.
Looking around for a place to wash his face, he crouches down beside a huge tree of some kind and takes his water bottle out. Despite the water being lukewarm, it’s a much appreciated relief for his overheated skin. He’s swallowing down big gulps of water when something catches his eye. Is that…. ?
Jared squints hard as he caps the bottle and puts it in his backpack. He checks his map again, and sure enough, there shouldn’t be any structures within at least 5 miles of this place. But he’s standing in front of one.
Behind a few very old trees, there’s what looks like the ruins of a temple. The huge banyan tree that is hiding the sky from Jared’s view seems to have its roots behind, or rather within, this crumbling structure. Most of the stones and clay bricks are holding their ground though, pillars and slabs jutting out from below ground.
The most surprising feature, the reason why Jared thinks this is a temple, is the statue. Up front and centre and not covered by leaves and dust, is a stony sculpture of a woman. A woman who’s lower body morphs into a snake. Yup, there is a serpent statue here that apparently nobody has seen yet. The possibility that his map might be a faulty one is far more likely than there being a standing temple that might be thousands of years old that is neither underground nor discovered.
Jared takes out his recorder from the thigh holster and does the introduction, meaning where he is and the condition of the unexpected structure. “Most serpent cultures around the world mainly worship male serpent gods, also known as nagas, for their strength, rage and protective or healing powers.” Jared recites the literature. “A female serpent, a nagin, is rare. When worshipped, they’re known as the life givers; the one to give and take life, nourish and protect; an ultimate symbol of prosperity. This has to be pre-medieval.”
He steps on something round and stumbles, almost dropping the little device. Looking down, he finds the object of interference and jerks back when he recognizes it. A bone.
Staring at the thing doesn’t make it disappear. Instead, he notices that there are bones littering the vicinity of the crumbling structure. “At the foot of the nagin, there are what look like human ribs, not sure.” Jared knows there are snakes in this area, especially cobras….and he doesn’t voice out loud what it could mean if these are indeed human remains.
He’s trying to decide whether to get closer and inspect the scenario or to go back and do some research before returning, when a noise catches his attention. It’s a soft hiss, kind of like inhaling through closed teeth. His eyes jerk up towards the top of the temple, over the nagin’s head. Other than tree branches and fallen leaves, there’s nothing. Well…. Almost nothing. Because when his eyes fall on the huge bush just a few feet away from him, his heart just about lurches. The skull of a snake is peeking through leaves and branches, its hollowed eyes staring right at Jared. Even dead and decayed, a cobra’s head will freak you out.
Taking a few deep breaths, Jared tells himself that it’s just a skull. But it doesn’t fool his brain. If there’s a skull, chances aren’t nil of there being a live one. So he takes out a pen, marks the place on his map for good measure, and taking a final encompassing glance, starts on his way to the base. He’ll come back soon.
The creature observing Jared from the roof of the temple is deadly sharp in its attention. It watches Jared’s every move with rapt interest, long sinuous body poised and ready to attack. It doesn’t pounce on Jared though, because no matter how territorial it feels, it’s also weirdly intrigued by the tall, odd smelling human in strange clothing. There’s something poking its memories, some dots waiting to be noticed, but now the human is moving and it’s hard to follow two dots at once.
There’s one moment when the tension on its body suddenly rises, making its tail twitch. It’s when the human first notices the serpent skull among the leaves. But when the skull is left untouched, the moment is broken. It watches in convex vision as the human rubs a stick on some leaves, and then disappears the way it came. If it was a he and not an it at that moment, maybe there’d be a voice, calling the human. What for? Well, that’s a topic for another day. Right now is just for watching a retreating back and not delving into another dimension; a dimension that this creature doesn’t quite know how to walk. His smell lingers in the air for long moments afterwards, and the huge green snake takes hissing breaths, engraving the saline musk in his nostrils and in its neurons.
Later, after the sun has gone down and the world is painted blessedly dark, the green, sleek, giant will come out on the ground and roam the area, reclaim its ground by leaving spiral tracks. It’ll sniff the stone sculpture, butt it’s head on the foot of it. When everything would be deemed okay by its reptilian senses, it will climb the stairs of the temple and disappear within. Through it all, images of a tall, built man would be running through the synapses of its not-quite-normal brain.
It’s not long at all before Jared is standing in front of the nagin statue again, this time with a larger bag on his back and childlike excitement in his eyes. In a few hours, he’s found a fair share of info about two things.
1) There was supposedly a nagin called Candir, the daughter of nagraj, in naga nadu of Sri Lanka. She was brought to an island in the pacific by her father and married to the naga here, where she gave birth to her spawn. She was worshipped as the goddess of fertility and water by the locals. The island later went down into the ocean before rising up and merging with Indonesia. There’s no documentation of the island’s current location, and nothing indicates that this specific place might be where the nagin lived. Which means that Jared may just have discovered a whole new historical site.
2) Maybe, discovered isn’t exactly the right word to use. The very few locals that are native to the area know about this temple. According to local belief, this is the final resting place of Candir, where she gained wisdom and passed on to the further. It is said that her tomb and the temple built on it is guarded by her son Jaffn’an. People say that after her passing, her people were riddled with grief and were lost. So she came back to the mortal world in the form of the great tree and whispered to her son his duties. So he built the temple and spent his time here gaining knowledge of the further from his mother. But in the time that came later, something happened that angered the god and he abandoned his people and went underground. Since then the temple and its history have been left untold, lest Jaffn’an might get angry again and create havoc.
In short, this place has been intentionally ignored to the point where people forgot its actual existence. Jared could tell when the story was being narrated to him that people might’ve forgotten the temple, but the fear of infuriating the nag is still very real. In fact, somebody told him that the few people who tried to look for the tree went missing. So Jared very carefully doesn’t reveal that he might’ve set foot on the grounds or that he might actually know how those people disappeared.
‘It’s nothing that hasn’t been done before.’ He tells himself. He’s not doing anything dangerous. He’ll just do some cleaning, get enough evidence to get this place historic attention, and then he can do proper digging with procedures. Till then, nobody needs to panic in fear of a snake taking revenge. No harm to anybody.
Taking a good look at the statue and noting her posture and appearance, he finally climbs the couple of steps up and into the temple.
“Entering the subject of interest” he says to maintain professionalism, which he supposes doesn’t work very well since the next few seconds of recording is him coughing his lungs out. The sound of it echoes through the structure and makes startled bats scramble. Damn spider webs.
After he’s done coughing and sneezing and prying cobwebs with both hands to make a path, Jared can finally see the whole interior. Clearing his throat for good measure, he starts again.
“The structure itself is built using the tree as base. At the joint of the tree and stone slabs, there is a small platform.” It’s hidden under leaves and mud and dirt, but Jared can tell that there’s a statue of the nagin on the platform. The rest of this place is arguably just rubble and vines and fallen bricks.
He starts by getting the small statue clean. It takes time, but eventually he’s able to see details. It’s the same goddess from the pedestal outside, but here, she’s sitting in a ring made from her snake body. And through the turns of her tail, a small snake is peeking up, mouth wide open, teeth flared. ‘This must be the enraged son’ Jared thinks.
The meaning of Jaffn'an is a lyre, a divine musical instrument in patal lok. In naga lok, Jaffn'an means Jensen, a witness. Jensen likes this meaning better. Because he doesn’t play music that heals anymore. In fact, many a times when he makes a sound, the birds get scared and they run away from him. So he tries to control his teeth and tongue so as to not scare the birds.
But he is a witness. He bears witness to so many things…some of which he’d rather forget. But he knows he can’t. What worries him more is what’ll happen after his time here is up. He needs to pass his memories to someone before he walks. But to whom? Nobody visits this realm anymore. That’s why protecting this temple and mother is so important. Maybe someday, mother will let go of the tree and become herself again, and Jensen will know what to do.
Jensen wishes she’d hurry up, because the stranger is back and he’s inside the temple now. But he’s not like the other humans, isn’t trying to steal. Instead, he’s cleaning the temple and looking at Jensen’s avatar, almost like he wants to worship Jensen. That could work too. If he prayed to Jensen, then Jensen would know not to take his soul. But he won’t, because he doesn’t know how.
He tries to do it, to go limp among the root of the tree and wake up in the body of his little avatar. The man would be so surprised; a shocked noise leaving his mouth open for Jensen to dig his fangs in. But something holds him tight within his scaly skin. He hasn’t felt this ‘something’ in so long that he doesn’t know how to overcome it enough to make the shift. So he doesn’t. He wraps himself tighter around the threads of roots and observes. He can take a soul as soon as the soul gives in to corruption, so until then, Jensen will just watch the man clean the temple.
The first day goes by in a whir. Jared was skeptical about being able to work alone in such a spooky place, but so far so good. He’s only done one thing so far, just looked at the pedestal and the statue on it very carefully. There’s something scribed on the stone, probably names. Jared will need to contact a language expert soon.
Jared does a good job of keeping an eye out for time, and manages to get out of the jungle to safety before it’s too dark. Even then, when Jared enters his meager accommodation, the guy getting him food warns him about being out alone at night. “Snakes” he says. “Venomous ones, they can kill you in minutes.”
Jared tells the man that he’s being careful, and cringes internally at just how careless he’s being. But then he remembers the statue and its story and what this could mean, and he doesn’t feel as guilty for lying to the friendly man. It’s for science after all. For a moment, he thinks about calling his parents and letting them know that he’s working in the forest alone just in case. The variety of different responses that would bring makes him grit his teeth. No need to bother anybody.
The next day, Jared starts for the temple even before the sun is up. And he makes good use of his time, too, cleaning up the pedestal and collecting samples for screening, taking photos to send to the database. There’s lots of scribing on the platform, and Jared makes sure to take clear pictures. He’ll send some of it to his friend back at Stanford, get some insight before getting his department involved. He hasn’t finished that particular thought properly when there’s a sharp pinch on his left shoulder. He sucks in a shocked breath and jerks, twisting a little to get his hand on the burning patch of skin on his shoulder.
When his fingertips come back bloody, he finally puts his magnifying glass down and turns. The sharp burn is spreading from his shoulder already, his entire arm tingling and saliva floods his mouth. He’s about to sit down because his vision is swimming, but freezes midway. The little snake, the one peeking out from the nagin’s body, is looking right at him. Only, it’s not made of stone anymore. Instead, it’s green and blue and its fangs are bloody. Jared gasps but his lungs refuse to expand, a tight ache making his throat close up. The small snake is getting out of its mother’s womb and coming closer to Jared with it's mouth wide open and pupils sharpened like knives, andJared’s world goes dark.