Chapter Text
Day One
Diluc had the feeling that today was going to be a shitty day. Why? Gut feeling.
Maybe it was the fact that Venti had shown up at his door, in the middle of the night, with no good reason.
"I expect this from anyone but you, bard. Explain yourself," Diluc stated tiredly, not having the energy to deal with any of this bullshit.
"Well, Master Diluc-"
"Just Diluc."
"-Master Diluc," Venti continued smugly, making the redheads right eye twitch slightly, "we have a problem."
"And how does this involve me?"
"It's your brother."
Diluc rubbed a hand down his face. "For fucks sake, Venti. It's Barbatos-knows-what hours in the morning, and you come to me with this."
"Yeah, well, he's stuck in a Domain."
This got him to wake up.
"I'm sorry, what?"
-----
The whole thing made Diluc call up someone who he knew could help them out.
"Diluc, you're my best friend, and I appreciate you a shit ton, but I just got back from another failed attempt of murdering Childe, and i'm not feeling up for this bullshit."
Venti giggled. "How'd he insult you this time?"
"...He called me cute," Xiao grumbled, looking away from the amused expressions of Diluc and Venti.
"Yeah, yeah, fuck you too, Barbatos. This isn't a social call, what the fuck do you want?"
"Wellllll...Kaeya is trapped in a Domain," Venti started.
"Because he's a dumbass," Diluc cut in, earning a glare from the bard. "As I was saying, we need your help, because that place is filled with dumb monsters," Venti finished.
"If they're dumb, then why do you need my help?" Xiao asked suspiciously, getting ready to call it a night and just walk away.
"...Because i'm weak and Master Diluc can't beat everything up by himself?" Venti offered weakly. Diluc facepalmed.
"Fuck it, I need a reason to get my anger out. Let's go," the Yakusha said shortly, already speed-walking towards the Domain doors.
"Is he always that easy to convince?" Venti questioned, looking up at Diluc. The other man sighed.
"You're just lucky we caught him on his bad day. There's the really bad days where he would've murdered both of us on the spot."
"What days are those?"
"The days when he meets Childe in broad daylight."
------
"When you told me he got lost in a Domain, I thought it was one in Mondstadt," Diluc started. Venti rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well, about that..."
"Instead, we had to travel all the way to Liyue, to whatever this Domain is."
"It has two Ruin Guards, and a Ruin Hunter. I'd be surprised if he was still alive," Xiao said bluntly. Venti laughed, but it was weak sounding. Diluc rubbed a hand down his face.
"He's a dumbass, therefore he's probably still alive." The Yakusha raised an eyebrow at that statement. "Mortals are really fucking confusing."
Suddenly, without any form of warning, the Domain doors burst open. The trio whipped around to face it, Xiao's hand hovering next to his Yakusha mask.
Kaeya sprinted out of it, looking no worse for wear, his visible eye blown wide. "Shut the fucking doors!" He screeched. A dull beeping noise was coming from deep inside the doors.
When the beeping started to get louder, and therefore closer, Xiao and Venti both send a violent gust of wind towards the double doors, slamming them shut. The sound of something smacking the door from the inside came about two seconds later.
Kaeya was still trying to regain his breath, leaning heavily onto his sword. "Oh...hey bro," he greeted Diluc weakly. The other mans eyes were narrowed in contempt. Xiao looked at the trio awkwardly. "You remind me of my own trio," he muttered.
"Oh? What's that supposed to mean, dearest Xiao?" Venti asked haughtily, leaning forwards and batting his eyelashes. The Yakusha put a hand over the Gods face, pushing him away. "It means that only one of you have any form of sense. The other two are idiots."
"I guess i'm the smart one?" Kaeya said casually, wincing as he spoke. Diluc actually made a small sound that sounded like the beginning of a laugh.
"No. Diluc is."
The look on Kaeya's face is something both Venti and Diluc would treasure for years.
------
"Thanks for your help," Diluc said to his best friend once he knew Venti would get the idiot of a Calvary Captain back to Mondstadt safely. Xiao huffed. "Don't bother with meaningless thanks. It may have been better if he died down there anyways."
Diluc raised an eyebrow at this. "What do you mean?" He said slowly. Xiao looked up at him knowingly.
"The next time you two meet, or maybe the three of you, I feel like you'd resort to physical violence," he explained. Diluc knew he wasn't wrong, but before he could open his mouth to reply, Xiao carried on with his sentence. "As per normal."
"You're such a little shit," Diluc growled. Xiao's lips quirked upwards in a small smile. "I'm short, but i'm far from a little shit."
The redhead shoved him in the shoulder, which was quickly repaid with a much harder shove.
"Seriously though, thanks. For today."
Xiao's eyes shifted. "Like I said. It's better if he died down there. I don't want to know what'll happen when he pisses you off next time."
"You can have the front row seat," Diluc offered. Xiao looked down to ponder this.
"I hate you and your fucking deals," he grunted eventually. Diluc simply patted him on the head, turning to leave.
"So it's a deal?"
"Fuck you."
"It is. Got it. I'll message you when I get pissed and resort to physical violence."
"Get out."
"Is that a yes?"
"Get out."
------
It was only a day later when Xiao got the message.
I'm slapping the living shit out of these fuckers right now
Xiao shut off his phone, and chucked it off the balcony, putting his face in his hands.
"Mortals are fucking stupid," he said, his words muffled.