Work Text:
I.
“How stressful...” Zheng Xuan made a tactical retreat from a heated discussion about the lack of women in Blue Rain and which female pro they should invite.
Shifting his chair to the wall, he leaned against it, shutting his eyes. He seemed fully prepared to take a nap on the spot. He would do it, too. Zheng Xuan tended to take the chance to steal a nap whenever someone started a long conversation. According to him, it was to save energy. Yu Feng had laughed when he’d first heard that reasoning. It was truly Zheng Xuan’s style of logic.
As stressed as Zheng Xuan claimed to be all the time, he never seemed to have trouble falling asleep at any time, no matter where he was. Yu Feng kind of envied that ability of his. It would be useful, on nights where he was gripped with anxiety at the thought of never being good enough, on nights where the pressure he gave to himself felt too hard to bear.
Though, Zheng Xuan wasn’t one to experience something like that.
Sometimes, Yu Feng felt like Zheng Xuan didn’t care about anything. Victory and loss were but a passing moment to him. On a battlefield where winning was everything, Zheng Xuan was a rare breed. In fact, he was probably the only person like this in the entire alliance.
Yu Feng draped his jacket over the napping Zheng Xuan, turning back to the conversation at hand- the disappointing lack of girls was truly depressing, yes, he thought that the current female pros were too attached to bait over, and Blue Rain needed to find promising trainees in the game.
Zheng Xuan slept beside him, dead to the world.
II.
There were often comments on how close Yu Feng and Zheng Xuan seemed. Ambitious, aggressive Yu Feng and quiet, unmotivated Zheng Xuan made an unlikely pair. In fact, most people expected them to be at odds with one another, with how different they were. Though, if one thought more about it, it made sense. If Zheng Xuan had been anything like Yu Feng, they’d probably find it difficult to avoid clashing, let alone get along.
Still, it didn’t stop people from doing a double take when they saw Yu Feng and Zheng Xuan together, especially when Zheng Xuan had fallen asleep on him. Yu Feng had always looked uncharacteristically tender at times like that, though he’d die before he would admit it.
“Yu Feng?” Zheng Xuan huddled close, lying on Yu Feng’s shoulder. All of Blue Rain knew that Zheng Xuan grew more cuddly in winter, and most of them knew that Zheng Xuan preferred to cuddle up to Yu Feng above anyone else. Well, that was, everyone besides Yu Feng himself. “You’re warm.”
“I’m...what?” Yu Feng furrowed his brow, attempting to look at Zheng Xuan, but stopped moving when Zheng Xuan poked him in the stomach. “Hey!”
“Don’t move.”
“Huh? Why?” Yu Feng received only silence as a reply. “Napping again, this guy...”
III.
“You’re going.” It was a statement. Yu Feng had told Zheng Xuan about Hundred Blossom’s offer first. Zheng Xuan looked a little subdued at the news, but Yu Feng didn’t mind it that much. Zheng Xuan wasn’t exactly known for having tons of energy, after all.
“Yeah. I’ll let the rest know soon.” Yu Feng paused, then chuckled. “Well, they’ve probably already told captain, and if he knows, then Huang Shao also knows. Well, it’ll save me some trouble with him spreading the news for me.”
“They’ll understand. Don’t worry.” Zheng Xuan patted the spot beside him on the bed, motioning for Yu Feng to sit. When Yu Feng sat down, Zheng Xuan rested his head on Yu Feng again.
“You... really? I thought you were going to comfort me, but this is what you’re after?” Yu Feng rolled his eyes, but shifted Zheng Xuan so he was laying in his lap. “I wish I could sleep as soundly as you.”
“You don’t need it.” Zheng Xuan mumbled sleepily. “Just bear with it, we won’t see each other for a while.”
“You know, I could always come visit.” Yu Feng would miss the easy conversation of Blue Rain, and Zheng Xuan’s quiet warmth. It had been home for years, more than anywhere else had been. Even if he was in Hundred Blossoms, Blue Rain was his home.
“Yeah.” Zheng Xuan agreed easily. “Come back often. But for now...”
Zheng Xuan didn’t finish.
IV.
Zheng Xuan sat in the emptied bleachers after a match with Hundred Blossoms. It had been a home game, in Blue Rain’s stadium. Zheng Xuan often chose to unwind like this after a game, since Yu Feng had left. He faintly heard footsteps approaching, but he didn’t move.
“Captain said you’d be here.” Yu Feng grinned when Zheng Xuan finally looked up, taking a seat beside him.
“Captain Yu.” Zheng Xuan teased, a trace of mischief playing at his lips. “Don’t you need to take care of your team?”
“Don’t start. Huang Shao already bullied me enough.” Yu Feng groaned, burying his head in his hands. “It’s good to see you again.”
“You never came to visit.” Zheng Xuan continued, smiling faintly now. He understood, though. Getting used to leading a team took time. Yu Feng had probably worked through countless nights just to make things work. “But it’s good to see you too.”
“I’ll go to the club before we leave again.” Yu Feng promised, placing his arm around Zheng Xuan, who leaned closer in response. Yu Feng huffed helplessly. “Still doing this?”
“Yeah.”
V.
“I’m thinking of retiring.” Zheng Xuan suddenly interjected while they were sitting in his room at the club. It had been years since Yu Feng had left to lead Hundred Blossoms, and he had made good on his promise to visit often. “Maybe after this season.”
“Why?” Yu Feng furrowed his brow heavily. “Is Blue Rain asking you to step down?”
“No. It’s my own decision.” Zheng Xuan stated calmly, as if he wasn’t talking about his own life. Zheng Xuan had always easily separated emotion and rationality, always cool and logical.
Yu Feng was the opposite.
“Why?” He didn’t understand. Zheng Xuan could obviously still play for a few years, even if he was starting to slip.
“It’s too stressful.” Zheng Xuan muttered, more forcefully than Yu Feng had ever seen him. Zheng Xuan... didn’t want to retire either. He loved playing Glory, playing with the team. Still, for someone like him, prolonging his stay would only make him suffer more. “I wouldn’t be able to bear it.”
“If you’re sure.” Yu Feng’s gaze swept downwards, settling on Zheng Xuan’s faintly trembling hands. Sighing, Yu Feng covered Zheng Xuan’s hands with his own, giving them a supportive squeeze. Leaning close, Yu Feng landed a light peck on Zheng Xuan’s cheek. “Don’t think so hard, it doesn’t suit you.”
Zheng Xuan’s lips parted into a smile, a light flush creeping up his neck. In revenge, he pressed close to Yu Feng, kissing him on the sensitive spot on his neck.
“Hey, you...” Yu Feng laughed, taking Zheng Xuan into his arms. “Save that for another time.”
“Mm.” Tightly held in a warm embrace, Zheng Xuan let himself drift off again.
+ I.
“It’s getting so hard to managed the team these days.” Yu Feng grumbled to Zheng Xuan upon getting home- Zheng Xuan had moved in after his retirement, now working in Hundred Blossom’s guild. “The kids don’t listen anymore.”
“You’re not exactly great at pep talks.” Zheng Xuan snorted, grinning at him.
“Hey, I’m serious!”
“Hm, why don’t you just do what you always do?” Zheng Xuan asked, sobering up. “You’re not Yu Wenzhou, after all. Something like leading by example may suit you more.”
“Is it that obvious?” Groaning, Yu Feng shook himself. He needed time to think things through. “I’ll go shower first.”
“It’s all a mess.” Yu Feng admitted when he returned from the shower only wearing boxers, a towel slung over his shoulder. Slumping onto their bed, he rolled onto his side to look at Zheng Xuan. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I don’t.” Zheng Xuan didn’t feel any annoyance at that statement. It was the truth. He’d never been captain, and he’d never wanted to be, nor entertained the thought of it. “You should rest. You won’t be able to figure things out stressing like this.”
“Come here?” Yu Feng shifted over to make room for Zheng Xuan, smiling when Zheng Xuan joined him, cuddling up close. Even though he thrived under pressure, it was hard to say if he would’ve been able to face the various pressures of his job without him around. Maybe it was the relaxed aura that Zheng Xuan had, but it was so easy to let go of things briefly and catch his breath when he was around.
Yu Feng awoke to Zheng Xuan mumbling something inaudible in his sleep, clutching at Yu Feng’s chest. Yu Feng couldn’t stop himself from smiling, fondly brushing stray hairs out of Zheng Xuan’s face- he would inevitably have to spend some time sorting out his bedhead later, as always. Yu Feng thought it was cute, despite Zheng Xuan’s complaints.
“Yu Feng? You’re staring...”
“It’s nothing, go back to sleep.” With a light laugh, Yu Feng held Zheng Xuan in his arms, enjoying the spreading warmth when Zheng Xuan similarly wrapped his arms around Yu Feng.
It was nice, to be loved.