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When Dave wakes up, the other side of the bed is empty and cold.
He fumbles for a moment, eyes heavy with sleep and half-tempted to just roll over and fall back to sleep before it really registers in his head. He frowns, rubs his eyes and sits up. The bedside lamp is still on and he can quite clearly see that Klaus is not in the room, let alone even in the bed.
He sits up, shuffles out of bed and grabs his robe to pull on against the chill in the air - it’s late in the year and without the heating on, the apartment is always cold. It’s harder to notice when he can wake up and linger beneath the bed covers with Klaus’ warm body against his.
“Klaus?” He calls, exiting the bedroom and creeping out into the living room, but he has a sinking feeling in his gut and he knows that he isn’t going to find Klaus in the living room. Sure enough; he isn’t there. He isn’t in the bathroom, either. Dave doesn’t need to check the front door to confirm what he already knows.
Klaus has been struggling again, these past few days. Dave can tell. His nightmares and the ghosts have been bothering him and he can see it wearing down on him, and Dave has done his best to be there for him, but in the end, Klaus is the only one who can accept his help or reject it.
And if he rejects it, Dave has a pretty good idea of what he’s going to do instead.
He’s not disappointed in Klaus, of course. He isn’t mad at him, or anything of the sort. He just hopes that he’s okay, and that he’ll come home soon, and Dave will be here for him when he does, whenever that might be.
So, he showers, makes himself an early breakfast and some coffee, and he keeps himself busy and awake. He cleans up a bit, remakes the bed, and he debates going out and looking for Klaus, but he thinks that would be a waste of time. He still isn’t overly sure of this area - let alone this time - and if Klaus doesn’t want to be found, then Dave isn’t going to be the one to find him. He doesn’t even know where he’d start looking. Plus; he doesn’t want Klaus to come back to an empty house. He knows that would only make things worse.
Instead of looking for him, then, he stays. He tries to pass time by watching television, but he’s too nervous and wound up to do so. He thinks of what he can do to help Klaus when he gets back, and so he sets out some comfortable pyjamas for him, sets up some candles around the bathroom, around their bedroom, and then he pulls out the scented bubble mix for their bath and sets it on the side. He cooks enough food for two, though he’s not sure Klaus will have much of an appetite, but he’d rather have something ready for him just in case.
The hours tick by slowly with no sign of him, and then the sun sinks on the horizon and Dave pours himself more coffee and sets up camp in the living room. It’s been a while, and he just hopes that Klaus hasn’t gotten himself into any danger.
Since Klaus had gotten sober, he’s always partially prepared himself for a relapse. He knows Klaus can get sober and stay sober, but he knows that it can’t be easy, either, and he isn’t going to make it any harder on him. Klaus is strong and he can get and stay sober, and he isn’t going to shame or judge him for any relapses that happen.
It’s two in the morning of the next day, and Dave is forcing his eyes open at some random christmas show on the television, another cup of coffee in his hands, when he hears someone fiddling with the lock of the front door. A key scratches around it before slipping in - slipping out - then back in and twisting. The door gets all but thrown open and a skinny hand catches it just before it hits the wall.
Klaus looks like a deer in headlights as he stands in the doorway, staring at Dave, who he obviously didn’t expect to be awake and waiting for him.
Dave takes a moment to quickly look him over. He doesn’t look hurt, but he does look dishevelled; his hair a mess, skin pale, heavy bags under his eyes.
“Dave,” he says, and then his expression crumples.
Dave sets aside his coffee and stands up quickly. “Klaus,” he says, and he’s just relieved to see him back here in one piece. “Are you okay?” He asks, stepping closer but giving him space. Klaus scratches at his neck, and Dave wonders if he’s going to run out the front door.
Klaus doesn’t respond. He bites at his lip - already bitten and chapped. “I’m sorry,” he finally says, voice quiet. Dave sighs and closes the distance between them, gently taking Klaus’ hand off the door.
“Don’t be,” he says, coaxing him towards the couch.
“I’m high,” he says.
“I know,” Dave tells him, sitting him down on the couch and sitting next to him.
“I - I can get my stuff and just-”
“No, nope, no need for that,” he dismisses, shaking his head. “I’m not mad at you, Klaus.”
Klaus blinks at him with wide eyes, then looks down at their hands. “You’re not?”
Dave shakes his head; squeezes his hands. “Not at all. I’m just glad you made it home safe.”
“Oh,” says Klaus. He blinks, head drooping a little before he picks it up again.
“Can you tell me what you took?” Dave asks. Klaus purses his lips and then giggles airily before biting his lip again.
“A - a couple things,” he admits. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you on just now, then?” Dave asks instead. He can’t quite tell just by looking at him, but he’d like to know what he is on so he could keep an eye on him. Klaus scrubs his free hand down his cheek, eyes flicking to the side before back to Dave. He moves his hand from his face to his pocket and Dave hears the crinkle of plastic.
“I, uh - xanax,” says Klaus. “Like, a few, a while ago.”
“Anything else?” He asks.
The question takes several seconds to register in his head, and then Klaus flaps a hand dismissively, shaking his head. “No, no - not now. Well - there was a bit of coke, but that was like - a while ago.”
Dave quirks an eyebrow, watching Klaus deflate and slump against the back of the couch, eyes fluttering closed. “‘M sorry, Dave,” he moans, one hand raising to cover his eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why - I just needed it - and I’m sorry and I can go and you deserve better, and-”
The longer he speaks, the more slurred his words get, until Dave squeezes his shoulder and interrupts him. “Hey, hey, Klaus - none of that, okay? I’m glad you’re back. Nothing’s happened that we can’t fix, yeah?”
Dropping his hand from his face, Klaus meets his gaze again and then nods shakily, but he doesn’t look all that confident in it.
“Can I hug you?” Dave asks, and after a moment, Klaus nods again, so Dave shuffles closer and opens his arms and lets him fall against his chest. Like this, he can feel the tremors running through his body, hear the heaviness to his breathing as if he’s out of breath, so he just holds him a little tighter and presses a kiss to the side of his head.
“Thank you for coming back and talking to me,” he says. He’s not sure how much talking he and Klaus will get done tonight but so far they’ve made a start, and they can talk more once Klaus has sobered up a little more.
“Do you think a bath would help?” Dave asks. He had intended to run one for him with the intention of helping him relax, and maybe it might have helped sober him up a bit, but now he’s not so sure.
After a moment, Klaus shakes his head. “Too tired,” he says. Dave nods, nudges him a bit.
“We can go to bed, and we can talk in the morning,” he tells him. Klaus sighs shakily but nods, and he sits up and lets Dave coax him up onto his feet, and then helps hold him upright when he sways. They head into the bedroom and Dave helps him change into the clothes he left out for him. As he does so, Klaus hesitates at his pants.
“Can you give me the rest of them?” Dave asks, watching his fingers hesitate on the waistband of his pants. He looks at Dave with wide eyes as if caught red handed, trying to gauge what Dave’s motives are. Dave sets a hand over one of Klaus’ and says, “you don’t need them, baby. I know it’s hard, but I’d appreciate it if you gave them to me.”
“Okay,” whispers Klaus, but it takes him several moments before he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little baggie of pills. His hand trembles as he hands it over, and Dave lets him do so at his own pace; only taking them once Klaus has let them go in his hand and moved his own away.
“Thank you,” Dave tells him, putting them in his own pocket. He’ll get rid of them once he can, but his priority is on Klaus at the moment. He helps him into the rest of his pyjamas and then makes an excuse to put his clothes in the washing machine, and he hides the pills. He doesn’t know if throwing them out right now will push Klaus too fast, but he doesn’t want Klaus to easily be able to take more.
When he goes back into the bedroom, Klaus is lying twisted on the bed, all sharp, awkward angles, but he opens his eyes when Dave sits on the bed.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. Dave smiles sadly, watching how it takes effort for him to sit up and shuffle closer to him.
“It’s okay,” he tells him, wrapping an arm around his back.
“I can - I can make it up to you-”
Dave catches his hand before it touches him, and something in his stomach twists. “You don’t have to do anything, Klaus,” he tells him. “And nothing like that, either.” As much as he wishes he could talk to Klaus about that - it’s certainly not the first time Klaus has offered him sex after an argument or if he feels bad or guilty, and he doubts it will be the last - but he knows that now isn’t the time for that. He just holds his hand in his own and shakes his head, and watches Klaus’ eyelids flutter as his head thumps down on Dave’s shoulder.
It pains him to see Klaus like this. He watches him struggle to stay conscious, feels his body shake and twitch next to his, jerk in aborted, uncoordinated movements, his fingers flexing in Dave’s.
“It’ll wear off soon,” Klaus tells him, voice quiet and words slurred.
“It’s okay,” says Dave. “Just take it easy. I’ll help you, and we can talk more once you’re sober and once you’ve slept.”
“Mmm,” hums Klaus, tightening his fingers around Dave’s. “Okay. I’m - uh, you can-”
He slips his other hand between them, patting his own thighs. “You can take them, I don’t - uh-”
Dave reaches out and catches his other hand gently. “You’ve already given me the pills,” he says. “We’ll flush them together in the morning, okay?”
Klaus blinks at him, eyes slightly narrowed as if he can’t quite make him out, and then his eyes slip closed and he sighs, a shiver seizing his body. “Okay, okay.”
“Get some rest,” Dave tells him, but he lets go off his hands, much to Klaus’ displeasure; he has to pry his fingers off one of his hands. “Can you turn over for me?” He asks.
Klaus opens his eyes to blink at him, expression scared for a moment. “But I love you,” he says.
“I love you too, Klaus,” Dave tells him, reaching up a hand to cup his cheek, brushing his thumb over his face. “But if you’re going to fall asleep, I’d be more comfortable if you slept on your side. Please?”
His eyes burn into him for several moments before he says, “promise?”
“Promise what, darling?”
“That you still love me.”
Dave smiles, but it feels sad on his face. “Of course I do,” he says, leaning forwards enough to press a kiss to his forehead. “I love you very much. I always will.”
A ghost of a smile crosses Klaus’ face and he leans into his touch, lingering for several moments until Dave reminds him to turn around so he could sleep on his side, Dave’s chest against his back supporting him. It seems that’s all it takes before he falls asleep.
Despite the late hour and his own lack of sleep, Dave can’t see himself getting any more tonight. He doesn’t think Klaus would get up and leave again, and he doesn’t think he’d find where he hid the drugs if he got up and looked for them either, but Dave doesn’t feel entirely comfortable with the risk. Plus, he’s not sure just exactly how much he took over the past day, and if things go south while he sleeps, he needs to be awake to be able to help him.
So, while Klaus sleeps like the dead (although he doesn’t think that’s a good saying, from what Klaus has told him about the ghosts) Dave just lays there and holds him close. He’s relieved to just have him back and know he’s not hurt, and he’s glad that Klaus handed the drugs over easily - and of his own accord once, even if he’d already handed them over - and they can talk more in the morning. Nothing has happened that can’t be fixed so far, and he’ll do his best to help Klaus.
The sun is just beginning to rise, pale rays of light slipping through the gap in the curtains, only a few hours later when Dave is finding it harder to keep his eyes open, when a sound from Klaus catches his attention. Beneath his arm, Klaus trembles and tenses, gasping a couple of times before he retches and throws up.
Luckily, being on his side, he doesn’t choke on any of it, but between that and the motion of Dave sitting up and pulling him upright as well, he wakes up, moaning and confused and distressed.
“Hey, hey,” Dave says, brushing his hair back from his face as he retches again, and he keeps murmuring reassurances in his ears until he melts against his chest, trembling and gasping for breath.
“Dave,” he moans, reaching up to grab onto his arm.
“Right here,” he says. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”
“I just threw up,” he moans. Dave rubs his arm.
“Are you okay?”
Klaus moans again, dropping his head against his chest. “I’m sorry,” he breathes. “S on the sheets. And me.”
“Nothing that can’t be cleaned,” Dave reassures. “I can run a bath if you’re feeling up to it.”
After a moment, Klaus bobs his head in a nod. “Yeah, yeah, please.”
He helps Klaus up onto his feet, shuffling through to the bathroom with him where Klaus perches on the closed lid of the toilet and Dave starts to run a bath. As he does so, he catches sight of the candles he set around the place earlier, and while Klaus looks utterly miserable at the moment, he doesn’t think it would hurt to light them, so he does. He finds a lighter from the kitchen, at the same time pouring a glass of water to give to Klaus, and then lights them all and helps Klaus out of his clothes and into the bath.
Klaus moans as he sinks into the water, arms wrapped around himself and tension slowly bleeding out of his body. His glass of water sits on the floor by the tub in his reach, and Dave presses a kiss to his head before hurrying out to throw his clothes in the washing machine. He hurries to strip their bed too, putting the dirty sheets in with the clothes and quickly throwing a new cover on. He feels much more awake now than he did twenty minutes ago, and he takes a moment to breathe before going back to Klaus in the bathroom.
“Hey,” he says, sitting down beside the bathtub. Klaus cracks open his eyes to peer at him, expression fragile.
“Hi,” he croaks. As an invitation, Dave sets his hand on the side of the tub, palm up, and Klaus slips his fingers through his, and they both fall into a delicate silence for several minutes before Dave decides to break it again.
He sits up, perching on the edge of the bathtub just behind Klaus, and he reaches for the plastic cup balanced on the side. He scoops up water from the bath, gently tips Klaus’ head back, and then begins to pour it over his head, one hand by his hairline stopping water from dripping into his eyes.
Klaus shivers, leaning into his touch, and Dave just focuses on washing his hair for a while, occasionally pausing to try to coax Klaus into drinking some water. When he’s done, Klaus leans back against his side, and Dave doesn’t mind the water soaking into his clothes. He runs his fingers through Klaus’ hair, and when the water runs cold, he gets him out of the bath and wraps him in a towel before fetching new clothes for him to wear.
They settle in the living room next, and Dave wonders where to start. Gently, he reaches out and takes Klaus’ hand.
“Can I ask why you relapsed?” Dave asks, running his thumb over his knuckles. Klaus tenses a little at the question, head tipping towards him, and he gnaws absently at his lip. For a moment Dave thinks that he isn’t going to answer him, that he’s going to close up again and make a joke or just dismiss it, but Klaus heaves a sigh and avoids his eyes and speaks.
“It’s just, it’s - a lot. Being sober, I mean. And the ghosts, and I’ve, you know. I’ve not been this sober in years , Dave. It’s just - a lot. It’s a lot, and I - I don’t know how to handle it.”
Dave squeezes his hand and Klaus squeezes it back, but he still doesn’t look at him. He shuffles a little closer, pressing their shoulders and knees against one another.
“I know,” he says gently. “I know it’s hard, and you’re doing so well despite that. You know I’m so proud of you-”
“I can’t stay sober for longer than a month, Dave,” Klaus scoffs, bitterness lacing his words. A twisted smile hooks his lips and he shakes his head, glaring at his own lap. Dave reaches his free hand forwards, curling a finger beneath his chin and coaxing his head up.
“That’s still a whole month, Klaus,” he tells him. “You said it yourself; you’ve not been this sober in years. You can stay sober for a whole month. That’s good, Klaus. It’s damn amazing, and I am so proud of you. And I’ll be proud of you if you stay sober for another month - or just another week, or another day. I'll always be proud of you for doing something great.”
Klaus’ face falters, and Dave looks back down at their hands. He is proud of Klaus, and he wishes Klaus could see just how good he is doing. Dave will just have to keep reminding him until he can see it for himself.
“And,” he says, “you came home. You told me what you took, and you gave me what you had, and you’re talking to me now. You could have stayed out, but you came back. You did that yourself, and that’s great, too. I know it’s hard, but I also know you, Klaus, and I know that you’re strong. You can get sober, and whether that’s for a week or a month or a year, I’ll be proud of you.”
Klaus’ chin pushes at his hand in an attempt to look away. Dave can see the wet glisten in his eyes, can see the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. It takes him a moment before he finds his voice and when he does speak, it’s quiet. “I want to be better for you,” he whispers.
Dave moves his hand from his chin to his cheek and smiles. “You’re already perfect to me, Klaus,” he tells him. He lets go of his hand and shifts a little, opening his arms, and Klaus surges forwards to wrap his arms around his chest, head hiding beneath his chin.
He hears Klaus sniffle, and in response he tightens his arms around him and presses a kiss to the top of his head. He doesn’t think about letting go until Klaus does.
“I love you,” Klaus croaks and Dave smiles.
“I love you too, Klaus,” he says, and presses a kiss to his forehead. “I always will.” He pauses and, after a moment, he says, “Klaus?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want me to flush the rest of the drugs, or do you want to?”
Klaus freezes, staring at Dave’s chest for a moment and fiddling with his shirt. “I - uh.” He bites his lip, twists his shirt, looks up. “Can - you do it with me?”
“Of course,” says Dave. He stands up when Klaus does, moving at his own pace, and then fishes the drugs out from where he hid them in the kitchen, and Klaus eyes them as if they might explode in his hand. In his other, he holds one of Klaus’, and they go back to the bathroom and flip up the lid to the toilet. Dave offers them to Klaus but adds, “if you don’t want to, I can.”
Klaus looks between him and the drugs for several moments, but then he shuffles closer to press himself against Dave’s side and takes them from him. He pries open the little bag, runs his thumbs over the little pills and looks around the room. He inhales, and then he turns the bag upside down and watches the pills tumble into the toilet. Once the bag is empty, he reaches forwards and flushes it and hands the bag back to Dave. Dave knows the drill for that, and he tucks it back into his pocket to throw out later.
He wraps his arm around Klaus’ side and smiles. “You did great, darling. Come on, I’ll make us a drink.”
He guides him back out the bathroom and then to the kitchen. Klaus sits on one of the chairs at their small dining table, and Dave begins to make up a hot chocolate with him, though he debates on adding whipped cream or not, unsure if his stomach wouldn’t handle that just yet. He leaves it, and makes himself a tea, and then sits back down beside him.
“Thank you,” Klaus murmurs, wiping at his nose and sipping his hot chocolate.
“It’s okay,” says Dave, offering him another smile as he nurses his tea. He risks a glance at the clock hung up on the wall. “We can stay in today if you want. Watch that movie you’ve been talking about, order takeout, if you’d like?”
Klaus hums into his hot chocolate, curling his toes on the edge of his seat. “I could go back to sleep,” he admits. Dave bobs his head in an easy nod.
“We can do that too,” he agrees, and Klaus lets out a small laugh. He finishes his hot chocolate and Dave finishes his tea, and after setting the dishes in the sink, they head back to their bedroom. Klaus cringes a little at the sight of the new sheets on the bed, but he doesn’t comment, which Dave is glad for - he didn’t mean to be sick and Dave doesn’t mind changing the bed sheets because of something he couldn’t control.
He fixes the curtains to block out the light from the rising sun, and Klaus turns on the lamp on his side of the bed before crossing to Dave’s. He’s still a little hesitant, so Dave envelopes him in his arms and holds him close to his chest. He runs his fingers through his damp hair and stares up at the ceiling and murmurs, “I love you.”
Klaus tucks his head beneath his chin and his arms squeeze his torso. His voice is muffled when he echoes what Dave said. One of his legs tangles in between his, and his hair smells like raspberries from the bath. For a long while, Dave just lays there, feeling Klaus’ ribs expand against his with each breath and running his fingers through his hair until he knows Klaus is asleep and he can feel his fatigue pulling at his own eyes. Then he tilts his head down, ghosting the top of Klaus’ with a kiss and whispers into his hair; “I’m so proud of you, Klaus.”
He isn’t afraid of falling asleep only to wake up to an empty and cold bed again, and with Klaus pressed against him and fast asleep, Dave quickly follows after him.
(Klaus is still there when he wakes up, of course, and the day is spent lazing together inside before night falls again and they retire to bed, and it’s another day Klaus spent sober, and Dave feels just as proud as he’s always felt for him.)