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" Kids don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are." － Jim Henson
When he was young, before his mother left him with Frank, before Tarsus IV and before he spent his teens gallivanting about the 'verse, James T. Kirk, then affectionately called Jimmy, had wanted to be a starship captain, just like his father. Minus the dying part.
As he got older, and started to look more and more like his father, his mother pulled away. They didn't sit under the stars anymore, her pointing out constellations and him asking about the adventures she had had with his father. When she left, he hadn't known what to think. Sam told him it wasn't his fault but Jimmy still wondered.
" Jimmy, Mom misses the stars. She knows that we're big boys and that we can take care of ourselves, besides Uncle Frank is here for us."
Jimmy believed his brother and swore that one day he would captain a ship and go out to find their mother.
The first time Frank hit him he came to the conclusion that Sam had been lying and he was, as Frank loved to point out, a worthless brat whose mother had left because she couldn't stand the sight of him. When Sam ran away it only cemented the belief. Now at age twenty seven he knows only one of those is true.
About two years after his mom left him he drove his father's red corvette off a cliff (in his defense Frank was going to sell it) and two weeks later he was sent to Tarsus. At first young Jimmy had been happy to escape from the "crap farm in the middle of nowhere", and at age thirteen, soon to be fourteen, he had learned that when adults are mad it was best to put your head down and take it. When Starfleet finally came, Jimmy Kirk was no longer Jimmy; he was Jim. Kodos had called him Jimmy and the last thing he needed was more reminders of the pain, hunger and horror. Children were sent to Tarsus IV and didn't remain so for long.
Tarsus was the last time for a very long while that he wanted to have anything to do with Starfleet. They had failed, Kodos had been a Federation appointed official and Starfleet had covered it up, they had been too late to save all of his kids and he hated them for it. He had arrived at the Tarsus IV colony a thirteen year old child who would rather lay down and take a beating and he left a fourteen year old man perfectly willing to kill to protect those he loved. At age twenty seven he knows he still would.
After Tarsus he spent his teens doing odd jobs for anyone willing to pay. He was a genius and pretty well known in both aboveground and underground circles. As soon as he had turned sixteen and became an emancipated minor, he had left the earth and spent the next four and a half years riding around the universe and doing whatever he could to buy passage. He had been everywhere from Orion pirate ships, Klingon prison planets (not a fun two months) and stowaway on federation vessels. He had made friends, enemies… and more enemies.
By the time he was twenty one Jim Kirk could fly a ship, fix a warp core, and speak three different Orion dialects (and one Klingon). He had seen everything, heard everything and was ready to go back to earth. The Klingon General had nothing to do with it.
It took about two weeks before they incarcerated him under assault charges of all things. One year. He could have easily escaped, no prison could hold James T. Kirk, hell he had escaped a Klingon prison planet, but he chose to stay. He couldn't be wanted by the federation; he had too many enemies and not enough friends for that.
Two weeks on parole and he joined Starfleet of all things. He blames the alcohol. Now he is probably the only Starfleet captain with such a colorful criminal record. At least officially.
Jim is anything but stupid, when he ran into Christopher Pike at the bar even through his alcohol clouded mind he had recognized the opportunity that he was being handed. He made jokes and acted stupid but as soon as the words of invitation had left the older man's mouth he knew he would take him up on the offer.
Jim isn't proud of his past (most of the time he tries to pretend it hadn't happened) but there is nothing he can do about it. He thinks of Ambassador Spock, there's an idea. He wonders how the old Vulcan felt seeing them. Echoes of his past, people he had seen die. The same but so very different. He shivers, now that he had it he would do anything to keep it: family, people that he loves.
When Jim is feeling particularly lonely he likes to sit in the captain's chair and let the sights and sounds of the bridge wash over him. Chekov's "Keptin on ze bridge!" Uhura's wry smile, Spock's calm logic and, when he visits, Bones's rough caring reminds him that he is not alone. The sound of them going about their work, talking in quiet voices; these are the small things that remind him he has a family and a home.
It's not a white picket fence, but that wouldn't be nearly interesting enough anyways.
Some kids played house or cowboy but little Jimmy had played explorer, where he was a Starfleet captain who discovered unknown worlds with his mother and brother by his side. He found new alien races and saved the world from Klingons. When he was young he had loved the stars; the idea that there were other worlds, creatures, languages, and technology out there amazed him, and that hasn't changed.