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Neil Josten listened to Kevin talking about a play he wanted to try with Neil. He showed him the play, ending it by scoring on Andrew who looked completely unaware of the buzzer going off behind him.
Kevin frowned. “Can you please try and block it?” he demanded.
Andrew didn’t react, starring ahead blankly.
“He’s not wearing his hearing aids,” Nicky sighed, lowering his stick.
Hearing aids? Neil thought, squinting at Andrew. Andrew’s head snapped to him.
“Tell him to stop staring,” Andrew said, the words barely loud enough.
Nicky sighed, waving his hand at Andrew to get his attention. Andrew looked over at Nicky who started moving his hands. Sign language? Neil wondered.
Andrew rolled his eyes. He moved his hands in response.
“He didn’t want to deal with your bitching tonight apparently,” Nicky said to Kevin whose head snapped back to Andrew.
Andrew had a wicked grin on his lips.
“He’s deaf?” Neil asked, looking to the others who rolled their eyes.
Nicky turned to Neil and nodded. “Yeah.”
“But he can--He talks,” Neil fumbled for the world.
“Ableism isn’t a good look on you,” Nicky said. “Maybe he’ll tell you about it.” He turned his attention to Kevin. “Can we be done?”
Kevin sighed and nodded.
Neil looked at Andrew, squinting at the blonde who stood halfway across the court until Nicky signed to him. He hadn’t meant to be rude about it, he just didn’t realize Neil was
Neil turned to exit and slammed hard into the plexiglass, missing the opening. He fell onto his ass. He blinked at the world around him, putting a hand on his head where it hit the corner of the glass.
“Holy shit,” Nicky exclaimed.
Kevin held out a hand to help him up. He nearly missed the hand.
“Sorry,” Neil laughs nervously.
“Maybe he has a concussion,” Aaron said behind them, sounding a bit too hopeful.
“Well, if only there was someone who was pre-med that could check that,” Nicky retorted. Aaron huffed in annoyance and ushered them all into the locker room.
Kevin held up Neil, though Neil didn’t feel concussed at all. He frowned as he sat down in the lounge. Aaron broke into Coach’s office and somehow found a flashlight to test pupil reaction.
In the meantime Andrew must have stuck in his hearing aids because he was scolding Nicky who made an inappropriate comment to try and ease the tension.
After a moment Aaron decided he didn’t have a concussion.
“Have you been to an eye doctor lately?” Aaron asked, locking the office back up.
“Uh, no why?”
“You squinted a lot when I asked you to follow the pen,” Aaron shrugged. “You should talk to Abby about it.”
He probably wouldn’t, he decided. He could feel Andrew watching him.
-
Neil asked Wymack about Andrew being deaf the next day.
“He was deaf when he came here, but he wasn’t born deaf. That’s all I know, really. If he can play, then I don’t care,” he said desicivley.
Neil nodded.
Wymack tossed him a folder. “Start thinking about your major and what classes you want to take. The fall practice schedule is in there too.”
Neil stared down at the orange folder. His brows furrowed as he opened it, then he squinted down at it. He couldn’t read it.
He felt tears pricking his eyes.
“Why can’t you just read it? Idiot!” His father's voice echoed in his head. He closed the folder.
“I’ll look at it later. I’m going for a run.”
-
Neil came to a stop as a car stopped besides him. His heart stuttered in his chest. He squinted at the car. He recognized the driver.
Andrew. The Maserati.
Neil stopped, catching his breath. Andrew rolled down the window.
“Get in dumbass,” he called.
Neil sighed, opening up the door. He sat down, fumbling with the seat belt before it clicked into the buckle. He turned to look at Andrew.
“You didn’t tell me you were deaf,” Neil said breathlessly. “I’m sorry if I did something...wrong.”
Andrew snorted a laugh. “Did you not see the hearing aids?”
Neil opened his mouth and snapped it shut. He squinted.
“God, Aaron was right. You need to go see an eye doctor,” he said.
Neil frowned. “I can see fine.”
“How many fingers am I holding up?” Andrew asks.
Neil squinted hard, letting his eyes focus. “Three.”
“My thumb isn’t a finger, idiot. It’s a thumb,” Andrew sighed, then said, “Has it always been this bad?”
Neil shook his head. “I had trouble reading as a kid, but it's gotten worse.”
“I’m calling the eye doctor.”
“I hate doctors.”
-
Two week later Neil found himself in a pair of glasses. His new prescription. When he looked at Andrew next to him, his breath caught in his throat.
He was beautiful.
Neil could clearly see the hearing aids now, his hazel eyes and the blank look there. And most chilling the smile. He hated it instantly, almost ripped the glasses off because of it. It was heartbreaking.
It was clearly fake, and oh the pain it attempted to hide.
It hurt Neil to see it.
Everyone had been furious to learn Neil had nearly worked himself to blindness. A rare condition, but not rare enough for Neil Josten it seemed. Neil Josten, according to Andrew Minayrd, was a damn idiot with a death wish.
A blind man never saw his death coming. Would have been bad for survival. Glasses were a good disguise too, now that he thought about it.
They climbed into the car together. Neil pushed his glasses further up on his nose. He turned to Andrew, taking in those eyes again.
“Stop smiling.”
To his credit, Andrew was surprised. He faltered, unsure what to say.
“You’re meant to smile when you're happy,” Neil said quietly. “Your smile...it’s sad.”
Andrew turned his attention to the wheel. He moved his hands as he spoke-- a habit, necessity? Neil wasn’t sure. He said, “It’s what the world expects of me.”
“For you to be happy?”
Andrew turned to him, frustration momentarily creasing his brows. “Repeat that. Louder.”
“For you to be happy?” Neil repeats, a bit louder this time.
Andrew watched his mouth form the words and nodded. “It’s why they’ve got me on these shitty meds,” he said with a bitter laugh. “They’re treating the wrong things and I just need to give them what they want.”
“That’s not living, is it?”
“No it’s survival. I get the feeling you might understand that Josten,” Andrew said, starting the car.
“I know nothing of survival,” Neil lies.
“Clearly,” Andrew said, pushing Neil’s glasses up. He starts the car and they drive in silence.
Neil looked down at his hands. He could see them clearly now. It was an odd feeling, not realizing how little you could see before this. Now being gifted sight.
He kept sneaking glances at Andrew on the ride to Wymack’s. He could see him. He could see all of Wymack’s house now, too and found that the couch he’d been sleeping on was hideous. He openly said so without meaning to.
Andrew let out a loud laugh that night when they scrimmaged and Neil recounted the story to the others.
Neil looked around the stadium in awe. He could see just how big it was now. It was huge. Neil stayed out at the center of the court after the others went to go change. He looked at the giant fox paw at his feet.
He hated how much he liked it.
His mother would slap him for getting so caught up in the idea of staying here with Kevin fucking Day so close.
He jumped when Andrew knocked on the plexiglass walls to get his attention. He gestured over his shoulder toward the locker room.
Neil pushed his glasses up a bit as he stepped out of the arena.
“You’re going to be just as bad as Kevin, huh?”
Neil rolled his eyes, going to change.
-
Neil sat down next to Nicky in the foxes common area. Nicky looked up from his phone, a bit startled.
“Teach me sign language?” Neil asked.
After Andrew made all the effort to get him glasses so he could see. The least he could do was make communication with Andrew easier.
A truth for a truth could be easier.
Could he ask Andrew? Yes. That would spoil the surprise.
“Oh. Sure!” Nicky said with a smile.
“And do me a favor?” Neil asks. “Don’t tell Andrew.”
Nicky raised an eyebrow but agreed.
-
Neil sat up on the roof with Andrew, a cigarette dangling between his fingers. After all that they’d dealt with this year, learning sign language hadn’t been a priority.
It wasn’t until May that Neil felt comfortable trying to maintain a conversation.
He stubbed out the cigarette. Neil turned to him, waving a hand to get his attention.
“I never thanked you properly for taking me to the eye doctor,” he signed. Andrew’s lips parted, the only indication of surprise. “Thank you, Andrew.”
Andrew’s eyes flickered from Neil’s hands to his face. Met his eyes. He blinked a few times.
“You learned sign language,” Andrew signs back.
Neil smiled, nodding.
“I hate you,” Andrew signed, that surprise still evident on his face.
Neil laughs, shaking his head. “Bullshit.”
“You’re insufferable. You’re an idiot.”
“Your idiot.”
“Stop it.”
Neil’s hands dropped into his lap. He looked down at them with a faint smile. Andrew gently tugged on his sleeve and then turned his hand up for Neil to take it.
The gesture made Neil feel like he was drowning. He took Andrew’s hand. The two sat in silence.
You didn’t always need words to communicate. Andrew was the perfect example of that.