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Yeojin stares up at the door, shifting her weight from side to side while she waits. Her stuffed toy, a frog, is held close to her chest. She bends her head to bury her face in it, rubbing her itchy cheek through the mask. The door opens and Yeojin peers up at Yerim’s mom.
“Hello! Thank you so much for stopping by and bringing some tea. Yerim seems to be feeling better than this morning but she’s still pretty miserable,” Yerim’s mom says, looking at Yeojin’s mom. She turns and bends down to address Yeojin. “Hi, Yeojin. Have you come to visit Yerim too?” Yeojin blinks up at her owlishly for a second before her eyes crinkle in a smile and she nods.
Yeojin’s mom lets out a laugh. “I think she might be a little sleepy still. She just woke up from her nap.” Yerim’s mom ushers them inside. They head to the kitchen as Yeojin’s mom lists out what needs to be done with the tea.
Yeojin tunes out the adults as they converse. From her position on a kitchen stool, she peers up at the stairs that she knows lead to Yerim’s room. She wonders if Yerim is awake.
Yerim’s mom follows her gaze. “Go ahead and check on her if you want. Tell her that I'll be up soon with her next dose of medicine.” Yeojin hops off of the stool before hobbling up the steps. She reaches up for the door handle and peaks in as it opens slowly.
“Yerim? Are you awake?” Yerim rolls over towards the sound. Her face is barely visible, completely encased in her blanket. Yeojin can just make out a little black head under Yerim’s chin, Yerim’s stuffed bat toy.
“Yeojin? Stay over there. I’m sick,” Yerim croaks out. Yeojin closes the door and leans back on it.
“Are you okay?” Yeojin scrunches her face in worry.
Yerim seems to nod as the blanketed bundle shakes back and forth. “Don’t worry, I’ll get better soon.” Yeojin abruptly straightens after watching Yerim for a moment.
“Your mom said that she was going to come with your medicine soon,” Yeojin announces. Yerim burrows further under the blanket. Her voice comes out muffled.
“The medicine is yucky.”
“My mom brought tea,” Yeojin offers. Yerim pops back up and Yeojin thinks that she looks brighter at the news. At that moment, they hear knocks on the door. Yerim’s mom enters with Yerim’s medicine.
“It’s time for medicine. Yeojin, can you help me?” Yeojin scampers to her side and hands Yerim the medicine. After drinking it, Yerim eagerly reaches out for the mug of tea that her mom is holding. She swallows down a couple of gulps before setting it on the table next to her. Like a little bunny, Yerim heads back down into her burrow. Yeojin continues to stand next to Yerim’s bed when her mom leaves.
“Do you feel better now?” Hope colors her voice as she tilts her head and attempts to send Yerim some strength and optimism.
“Not yet,” Yerim sighs, “but my mom said that, if I sleep, I’ll wake up feeling better!” Yerim shoots Yeojin one of her signature sunny smiles.
“Are you going to sleep now?”
“I think so, I’m sorry that we can’t keep talking.” Yerim is pouting so Yeojin rushes to reassure her.
“It’s okay! I want you to feel better.” Yerim only hums in response as her eyes fall shut. Her breath evens out fairly quickly, betraying how truly exhausted her body is. Yeojin stands and watches her for a couple more minutes before she decides to head back down to the kitchen. When she reaches the door, she spins back around and tiptoes over to Yerim. She pulls down her mask before planting her hands on the side of the bed and leaning over. Her lips briefly brush Yerim’s forehead.
“Get better soon. I’ll come back and play when you feel better.”
——————————
Yeojin pops into the nurse’s office. One of them is seated at the desk in the front.
“Hello, Yeojin. What are you here for?” Yeojin smiles back at her.
“Hello! Is it true that Yerim is here?” The nurse glances at the adjacent room while nodding.
“Yeah, she is. Since she’s the only one here and she’s just resting, I suppose you can head back there.” Yerim frequently volunteers her time to help many different people in many different parts of the school, including in the nurse’s office. Ever since Yeojin entered the school as a freshman, the nurse has witnessed how those two are basically joined at the hip.
“Yerim? Why are people telling me that you fainted last period?” Yerim tries to quickly mask her shock at Yeojin’s presence but Yeojin is already watching her carefully.
“Isn’t this your free period?” Yerim squints back at her incredulously.
“Why do you think I’m here?”
“You said that you were heading home early today.” Yerim becomes uncharacteristically shy and her voice softens to just above a whisper. “To get ready for our date.” Yeojin’s grin is goofy and bright at the reminder but it only lasts for a second. Her smile is gone just as quickly as it appeared and her face returns to looking stern.
“Chaewon and Hyeju stopped me in the hallway as I was grabbing my stuff.” Yeojin has her hands on her hips and Yerim is torn between feeling terrified and finding her adorable.
“Damn, I should’ve known that they would snitch,” Yerim grumbles under her breath. Hyeju is her chemistry partner.
“So you weren’t going to tell me?” Yerim knows she’s just put herself into deeper trouble by the tone of Yeojin’s voice. She takes a moment to collect herself in order to figure out a way to rectify the situation.
“I woke up feeling a little weird but I didn’t get much sleep so I thought it was just because of that. I asked Jinsoul to bring me a coffee but it didn’t make me feel better like I thought it would. I started feeling dizzy and hot after lunch and it kept getting worse,” Yerim rambles, “I guess my body just gave out in chemistry.”
“Hyeju had to carry you down here.” Yeojin’s eyebrow is raised and Yerim turns away from her lack of sympathy. Yeojin’s disappointment causes an uncomfortable itch in the middle of her chest. At the lack of response, Yeojin continues.
“Why didn’t you tell someone? Better yet, why didn’t you just stay home?” Yeojin’s deep confusion draws lines in her forehead. Yerim traces them to avoid eye contact.
“If my mom found out that I was sick, she wouldn’t let me go out. I’ve wanted to go on a date with you for as long as I can remember. I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited.” Yeojin can’t help but soften at that. The fact that Yerim was just as endeared with her still catches her off guard but she feels the need to chide her for her foolishness.
“I would’ve come over and stayed with you. We could’ve made a date out of that.” Yerim doesn’t look satisfied with that response because her shoulders remain drooped.
“You deserve better than that. Taking care of me while I’m sick is a terrible first date.” Yeojin giggles at the look on her face.
“I’m not going anywhere. We could’ve hung out while you were sick and had our first date after you got better. I wouldn’t have minded either way. Any time with you is time well spent.”
“Please stop being cute and making sense. I’m starting to rethink some of my decisions.” Yeojin outright laughs at her this time, amused by her regret. She opens her mouth to say something but she’s cut off by the bell, signaling the end of the day.
“I need to go. I’m going to try to beat the rush and head back here.” Yeojin takes two quick steps in Yerim’s direction and plants a kiss on her forehead. She spins around, continuing to speak over her shoulder. “I’ll wait for your mom with you so that we can leave together.”
The fog that clouded Yerim’s mind has cleared for a moment and a raging blush covers her cheeks. She sighs happily and expectantly watches the door for Yeojin’s return.
——————————
Yeojin scrambles to unlock the apartment door before everything she’s holding ends up sprawled all over the hallway. She sighs in relief when she is able to set the groceries on the kitchen counter. After placing her bag on the couch, she puts away her shoes and heads to the bedroom. Stumbling into the apartment must’ve made a racket because Yerim is already looking at her when she walks in.
“You’re home already?” Yerim’s voice is softened by drowsiness and pain.
“Of course, you’re sick.” Yeojin is turned away from her so she misses the look that flashes across Yerim’s face.
“I thought your team was in the middle of that really big project.”
“I’m still allowed to take days off.” Yeojin huffs out a laugh, still distracted by changing out of her work clothes.
“Oh, okay.” She doesn’t miss the edge that Yerim’s words adopt but she chooses to ignore it, not wanting to delve into that conversation at the moment.
“I bought medicine and soup on my way. I’ll be back.” Yeojin heads to the kitchen and unpacks the groceries. Despite not having been at work for as long as she usually is, her muscles ache after being in near constant motion for the last few months. She is methodical about restocking the pantry, heating the soup, and preparing Yerim’s medicine. She knows that she won’t be able to avoid the conversation that awaits her back in the room so part of her is buying some time.
Yeojin returns to the room with a tray. She finds Yerim sitting up, waiting for her. After placing the tray on her lap, Yeojin sits on the edge of the bed, avoiding eye contact the entire time. Yerim takes her time, sipping half of the soup before drinking the medicine. She doesn’t speak until she’s cleared the entire bowl. Yeojin waits in silence so the only sounds that fill the room are the scraping of the spoon against the bowl and Yerim’s swallows.
“Thank you for the food and the medicine.” Her back is perfectly straight and her hands are set primly behind the tray.
“How do you feel?” Yeojin’s tone is tentative and searching.
“Better than this morning.” Yerim sounds more clipped than before. Yeojin, recognizing that she can no longer beat around the bush, inhales deeply to steady herself.
“I’m sorry.” Yeojin hopes that Yerim is able to recognize her sincerity but she knows that it’s not enough.
“For what? What is there to be sorry for, Yeojin?” Yeojin flinches. The sarcastic mocking is loud and clear, sounding so foreign from someone like Yerim. “For working overtime every chance that you could? For coming home in the middle of the night? For cancelling on our friends and my parents? Or for being so absorbed in your own world that I barely see you anymore?”
Yerim is immediately on the offensive, launching every grievance that she has kept locked away due to an effort to remain understanding. Anger, frustration, and hurt reach a rolling boil within her and the tray shakes like it's enduring the force of an earthquake. The most frightening part is how her face remains completely impassive. Her emotions hang in the air like smoke but Yeojin can’t tell what she’s thinking.
“How about the fact that we’re only talking about this now? I’ve tried really hard to be patient because I know how important this is to you but I would hope that I’m important to you too.” The evenness, bordering on monotone, steals the words from right under her tongue. This further infuriates Yerim.
“What. Are. You. Sorry. For.” The way she transitions from sarcasm to a demanding tone shocks Yeojin into action.
“All of it. I’m sorry for all of it.” Her shoulders are hunched in submissive acknowledgment of all her shortcomings. All Yerim can do is scoff and turn towards the window on her right because none of it is remotely relieving, too little too late in fact. Silence stands between them like a wall and feels like a foot on Yeojin’s throat.
“Five months, you’ve been working on this project, and all I get is ‘I’m sorry.’”
“It’s all I can give you.” Regret for the actions she can’t reverse simultaneously fills her lungs with water and sets her heart on fire.
“Yeah but, are you even trying? Maybe you’re right, maybe it doesn’t even matter anymore.”
“That’s not what I meant. Your feelings always matter.” The skepticism that shines from her eyes pulls back the cloak and allows Yeojin a clear image of the exact damage that she’s done, driving a sword into her heart. In her vows, she had promised to carry the pain of her lover as if it were her own. To be the perpetrator behind that pain carves a hole in her chest that gapes and bleeds.
Her hands extend on their own, reaching towards Yerim and asking for permission. Yerim can't help but fall into them, seeking comfort and support that has been long overdue. The tray clinks between them so Yeojin shifts around to place it on the nightstand before tucking Yerim's head into the crook of her neck. Tears flood her cheeks and pool on Yeojin's collarbones. Yeojin noses along Yerim's hairline as she rocks them back and forth.
Her lips find the middle of her forehead. She holds them there as she whispers the only words of comfort she can manage, "I told my boss I wouldn't be coming in until you felt better." It only makes Yerim cry harder, aching sobs that rattle the air, and Yeojin's panic seizes their rhythm
She straightens her neck and opens her mouth to apologize before she realizes that Yerim is saying something. Her ears pick up Yerim repeating, "Thank you."
Yeojin tilts her head back and pulls Yerim closer, tears crisscrossing down her temples. Her mouth shapes answering apologies, a continuous stream of "I'm so, so sorry" throughout the night.
——————————
"Hello, Yerim. May I come in?" Yerim, sitting at the window, turns towards the new presence in the room. She tracks their movements as they place a tray on a table in the corner before shuffling around the room, straightening things as they go.
"I have your medicine with me. Would you like to take it now?" They're turned away from her.
"You should eat your dinner, as well. I think you'll like what's been prepared for today. Doesn't it look delicious?" They have a beautiful, kind smile, Yerim notices. She returns it with a beaming one of her own, feeling comfortable in their presence. They set the tray down in front of her, gesturing for her to dig in. Yerim does find the food to be very appetizing so she complies happily.
"Remember to take your medicine while you eat your meal, once you get about halfway through." They take a seat in the chair opposite her. Yerim chews thoughtfully and watches as they lean back with their hands folded over their stomach. Yerim pushes the tray slightly forward, offering some, but she's just met with a simple shake of the head. They instead turn towards the window, serenely watching people pass by below.
"The weather is wonderful today, don't you think?" Yerim stares owlishly down at the same people before nodding in agreement.
"How are you? Was today a good day for you?" Yerim turns forward before nodding once again. The conversation continues like this, with them talking and Yerim motioning in acknowledgment.
When the sun finds its way below the horizon, and diamond stars appear, their attention shifts away from recounting their day. Yerim follows their finger as it reaches up and traces an unknown shape. As she tries to decipher what it is, they turn to her and begin speaking.
"Would you like to hear about my favorite constellation?" Yerim smiles, intrigued.
"You won't find it in any official books because I discovered it myself. When I was younger, I saw a frog and a bat dancing together. Because they were dancing with the stars, they could dance forever. It sounded like a wonderful way to live." Yeojin's eyes shine like diamonds as she watches Yerim sag in her chair, fatigue slowly seeping into her bones. Yerim stretches her hand out, wiggling her fingers around Yeojin's wrist. Yeojin's other hand covers Yerim's, caressing the loose skin covering bony knuckles.
"I think it's time for bed." Yerim raises her hands, seemingly delighted at the idea of rest. Yeojin helps her out of the chair and tucks her into bed.
As she moves back, Yerim reaches for her face. She cradles Yeojin's cheek in her hand, stroking with her thumb. She quietly inquires, "Who are you?"
Yeojin blinks rapidly and brushes her fingers through Yerim's hair. Her response is simple. "Someone that loves you very, very much."
Yerim relaxes into the mattress beneath her, trusting that explanation. She grabs the hand in her hair, holding it to her chest as she falls asleep.
Yeojin taps along with the thumping of Yerim's heart under her palm, counting out the beats until she loses count. She repeats this process until she loses feeling in her fingers. Before untangling herself from Yerim's grasp, she leans forward and softly kisses her forehead.
"Goodnight, Yerim. I'll be back tomorrow."