Archive of Our Own ^beta

Peter sighed yet again and shifted in his perch atop Iron Man's back, speeding over the city on their way back to base. The fight they had just engaged in had been tough and neither one was unscathed, but it shouldn't have warranted all the fuss Peter was currently making.

"It's nothing," he replied over the comms, and promptly began impatiently tapping his fingers on the back of Tony's shoulders. Tony felt whatever was left of his patience quickly fray with each thunk thunk thunk vibrating through the metal suit and lasted approximately 45 seconds before snapping.

"Out with it, Pete, or I swear I'll dump you here and now and you can swing back yourself."

Peter huffs out another sigh and rolls his eyes.

"It's just that I promised MJ I'd be there for her party tonight." His girlfriend of six years had been talked into going to the Breezeway, a bar close to their college campus, for her 22nd birthday with a bunch of classmates from her Philosophy class. "She never asks me for anything but she asked me to go tonight because she's not really comfortable in bars in the first place and she's been kind of weirded out about all the attention she's getting now that everyone knows she's Spider-Man's girlfriend."

Tony hummed in understanding, knowing full well what all that attention feels like.

"They're not giving her a hard time are they?" Tony asked cautiously.

"What, you mean like threats? No, nothing like that. So far, anyway. No, it's just been people constantly staring at her, talking to her, asking for selfies and invasive questions about me."

"Welcome to my world, kid," Tony deadpanned, banking around a tall office building and over a busy street where several pedestrians caught sight of the thrusters glowing in the night sky and cheered loudly while pointing at the superheroes.

Peter gave them a quick wave that he wasn't entirely sure they could see in the dark from that height.

"Yeah but we're not used to that kind of thing. They keep asking her weird stuff like what I'm like in bed and how big my dick is!" Peter complains awkwardly.

Tony snorts out a surprised laugh, "You say that like you're surprised. Nothing is considered private anymore. Once you're a public figure, people think they're entitled to know everything about you."

"It's weird!" Peter protests stubbornly.

"Yeah, now that you're on the other end of it, it seems weird. Maybe when it was you thinking about celebrities it didn't feel so weird, huh? What about Tony Stark? I know you were always a big fan of him. How many times as a kid did you scour magazines for tidbits of information and look at pap shots of him in his sweat pants getting a cup of coffee?" Tony teases.

Peter blushes, caught out. "Yeah, well, uh, you're interesting-"

"And so are you."

Peter interrupts with a disbelieving snort but Tony talks over him.

"You are. Spider-Man is interesting. He's mysterious, brave, funny, fit. And now that he's also Peter Parker, they know he's intelligent and handsome too."

"Oh God," Peter groans, mortified. He buries his blushing masked face in his gloves for a moment before Tony swerves to avoid a pigeon and he has to latch onto his back once more lest he go flying. "I'm not sure I wanna talk about this anymore."

"And I know the attention and interest is weird to you since you've been essentially invisible most of your life thus far, but it gets easier," Tony continues, as though Peter didn't say anything.

"You sound as though you're totally okay with people breaching your privacy," Peter says cautiously.

"Okay with, no. It's not that. It's more so that I've had a lot of time to deal with it and think about it, and I understand why people do it. It still pisses me off when I'm just trying to have an enjoyable dinner with my wife and keep getting bothered and photographed. But for the most part I've learned to tune it out and go with the flow. To stop caring so much what people think of me. You've gotten good at it too, with all the Daily Bugle articles about you over the years. Apply that skill here."

"Hmm, I guess so."

"Lighten up a bit and have a bit of fun, Pete. There's so little of that in our profession. Grab it where you can."

"I'll try my best," Peter eventually agrees after a thoughtful pause.

"In fact, let's start now," Tony says unexpectedly, veering off course and heading in the direction of the Empire State University campus.

"Wait, what?" Peter stammers nervously.

"Need a quick pit stop," Tony says, patching into the comms to the rest of the team who are trailing somewhere behind them, "You go on ahead and we'll catch up."

"Tony," Steve lectures, sounding exasperated but not at all surprised, "We have mission debrief. Fury's going to be pissed and I think I can speak for everyone when I say none of us want to hear it."

"We're all tired man, I wanna get this shit over with so I can eat my weight in cheesesteak and pass the fuck out," Sam complains.

"Sorry, you guys are breaking up. I'm losing you," Tony says unconvincingly and shuts off the comms to a chorus of groans.

"Tony, what the-" Peter begins, confused.

"We're gonna crash a party," Tony replies, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. And perhaps it is, but Peter is too busy panicking.

"What, like this? We're in our suits! That will attract so much attention! It's bad enough in my civvies but at least then I have a 50/50 chance they won't recognize me if I pull my hat down low-"

"Just like this. This is part of you too, Pete. Embrace it. Shrug off all the eyes and stop caring. Think about Michelle's eyes lighting up when she sees that you made it after all."

"Ugh, that's a low blow," Peter complains, glaring at the back of Tony's helmeted head.

"Actually, I'm saving your ass, Parker. Take it from someone wildly more experienced than you. She may not be mad that you missed the party, but there's nothing worse than a woman telling you she's not mad, just disappointed. That's the kiss of death right there. Trust me on this one."

Peter's glare softens and his mask's eye lenses squint in uncertainty, "I mean I guess. If you say so."

"I do say so. Show me where this bar is."

Minutes later they quietly descend into the adjacent alley without attracting any attention.

Peter hops off Tony's back and lands nimbly before straightening as Iron Man touches down.

"Isn't this just going to take attention away from the birthday girl? I feel like this is counter productive. Maybe we should just go-"

"Michelle doesn't even like attention and only agreed to come tonight because her college friends talked her into it and she thought you'd be here to help buffer the attention." Tony says bluntly.

"Yeah I guess so," Peter admits.

"So your lady love is in need of saving. Go save her, Spider-Man."

"Right," Peter sighs, psyching himself up. "Forget about everyone else and just make sure MJ has a good birthday."

"Atta boy. Let's do this." Tony slaps him on the shoulder in support, momentarily forgetting he's in the suit, and Peter lets out a startled oomph as he staggers slightly before catching himself.

They leave the alley and approach the door where a handful of college seniors are hanging out, smoking. They quickly recognize the suited heroes and cheer loudly. One sticks his head in the door and yells, "Hey, who ordered the strippers? This is hilarious!"

The DJ promptly changes the music and the patrons inside cheer.

"Wait, what?!" Peter squawks.

Hey

If you know what's good (if you know what's good)

A heavy beat filters out the open door and the two Avengers regard each other quietly, Peter's eye lenses wide with sudden panic. Tony tries to smother the sound of his snorting but is unsuccessful. Figures they'd assume stripper rather than real superhero in the flesh.

If you know what's good (if you know what's good) come on

"Dude, gnarly attention to detail!" One of the guys on Peter's left exclaims and pokes him in the shoulder where his suit is ripped and his skin is abraded and bloody.

Peter hisses and jerks away. "Uh, yeah. Thanks. I guess."

Hey, if you know what's good (if you know what's good)

He meets Tony's eyes again, who is waiting for Peter's lead, and shrugs at him with a heavy sigh. "YOLO."

Tony claps his hands and rubs them together with relish. "After you, Spider-Man."

Haters gon' say it's fake

Peter charges through the doors before he can think too hard about it, Tony dutifully following. The vigilante gulps at the sudden attention, almost every pair of eyes now fixed on them and several whip out phone cameras to record or stream to their social media. The crowd cheers and laughs, and parts like the Red Sea to give them a path straight to Michelle, whose mouth parts in shock. She looks beautiful, her curly hair cascading down her shoulders, her glossy, full lips gleaming in the flashing lights.

She sizes them up in a spilt second and Peter can tell from the sudden sharpness in her eyes that she immediately deduces they're the real deal. Her friends giggle and clap and shoot each other questioning looks, trying to figure out which one of them ordered the strippers. Peter sighs, gathering the last of his resolve, and decides if he's going to make a fool of himself he can at least get a smile out of his girl.

I guess I got my swagger back

The vigilante silently thanks his childhood dance lessons as the chorus drops and he begins moving. Nothing too wild, and as far as erotic dances go this is probably the tamest in history, but the crowd whistles and laughs their foolish drunk heads off at the sight of a wholesome superhero gyrating to a sexy song. The light clunking and whirring noises behind him lets him know Tony hasn't wasted any time in joining in and they advance across the room to the birthday girl.

I said, put your filthy hands all over me

And no, this ain't the clean version

And what you gonna do with all that meat?

Cookin' up a mean servin'

MJ's stoic attitude falters as Peter points at her and gives a couple tame hip thrusts. The volume of the room increases with screams and whistles and Peter hears Tony's laughter wheeze out from behind his face plate somewhere behind him. Michelle's lips twitch and she promptly bites the traitorous things and presses them in a firm line to stop the laugh from bubbling over.

No question, I want it

Fire up, everybody smokin'

Your friends, my friends

And they ain't leavin' til six in the morning (six in the morning)

Come, chill, baby, you the coldest

Go far, put 'em on notice

If you know what I want, then yeah

Peter and Tony reach their destination and sandwich MJ between them, though respectfully not touching her, and dance at her to a chorus of cheers and a number of voices telling them to, 'take it off', which Peter ignores. Dancing, he can choke down, but there's no way he's getting naked in here, forever immortalized on the internet. He'll save that for a private show later, he thinks with amusement, providing she doesn't murder him first.

Baby, don't you mind if I do, yeah

Exactly what you like times two, yeah

Got me singin', 'ooh, ooh'

So baby, don't you mind if I do

They jostle her around between them as they dance and she finally breaks and laughs as Peter turns around to bend over and shake his booty at her. She rears her hand back and gives the right cheek a ringing slap, causing him to laugh and spin around to grab her around the waist.

Look

Put your filthy hands all over me

MJ reaches up to grab Peter's mask around the neck, and he doesn't stop her, so she she peels it the rest of the way up and off and narrows her eyes at him. The music and shouting is loud, but Peter still hears the collective breath sucked out of the room when they get a look at Peter's bare face and realize he's the real deal. Peter smiles at her sheepishly.

"Uh oh, busted!" Tony yells, scooting in closer to Michelle's back to grip her by the shoulders warmly as his faceplate pops up to reveal his shit eating grin to the room. Michelle turns her head to pin her glare on him as well and he smacks a noisy kiss to her cheek. "Happy birthday, Scary Spice." Her lips twitch and her eyes crinkle and Tony winks at her and backs up to give them room and sign autographs for the sudden deluge of admirers.

MJ focuses her attention back on her boyfriend and her teasing glare softens in concern as she finally notices the abraded shoulder and the dust and grime clinging to his suit.

"You okay, loser?" She asks, her hand reaching up to gently caress a dark purple bruise along his left eye and cheek, already yellowing at the edges, as her eyes drift to his sweaty curls and bloody nose. He gives her a wide, soppy grin and his teeth are a little bloody, but she doesn't resist when he tugs her closer and plants a tender kiss of his own on her forehead.

"Sorry I'm late, something came up as usual" Peter murmurs quietly, trying to avoid the reach of the nearby cameras but laments to himself that the incredibly drunk girl in the Avengers tank top that was practically on top of them with her phone pointed straight at their faces probably caught it.

He feels more than hears MJ sigh and she looks him in the eye and gives him a soft smile that she only ever reserves for him. "Story of your life, huh?"

He gives her a wry, guilty grin and she shrugs, "I knew what I was getting into. I'm just glad you're okay."

"I'm fine," he says, brushing off her concern, "Nothing a shower, an entire pizza, and a nap can't fix."

MJ laughs, used to Peter's eating habits by now. "I think that can be arranged. Are you here to stay?"

"Yeah, I-" Peter starts to say, only to be interrupted by Tony shouting over the din.

"Pete!"

The arachnid sighs and turns to find Tony looking at him from across the room, ignoring the swarm of college kids surrounding him. With a start, he realizes he has his own swarm of fans crowding him, but he was too mesmerized by MJ to notice.

"We gotta jet," Tony continues, grabbing his attention once more and pointing at his own ear to signal that he had gotten a message on comms. "Cap ratted us out and Fury's on the warpath, so we've gotta get to debrief. But don't tell him we ditched to dirty dance for your girlfriend and a bunch of drunk college kids or he'll have a meltdown so if he asks, we had to make a pitstop because you had diarrhea or something."

Peter barks out a surprised laugh, amidst the laughter of the watching bystanders, and tries his best to frown at the Avenger. "Why me? Why can't you be the one pretend shitting your pants?"

Tony throws up his arms in a shrug as though he can't do anything about it, and responds, "Seniority."

Peter huffs and good-naturedly murmurs, "Senior, alright. You geezer," to another chorus of laughs.

"Hey, no age jokes, pipsqueak!"

"Yeah, yeah." Peter waves him off and turns back to MJ and pouts at her. "Duty calls."

"I know." She pushes closer and wraps her arms around his neck, plastering herself along the front of his body and grins at him enticingly as she plays with the sweaty curls at the nape of his neck. "How about a raincheck? You can give me a private show later tonight." She waggles her eyebrows at him and he smirks back at her, his smile turning a bit filthy at the edges. Looks like she read his mind.

"Are you implying that you want a show with a happy ending, Ms. Jones? Because I'm not that kinda girl," he drawls, twitching his own eyebrows up and pretending to sound scandalized. A couple jocks hoot and whistle at the banter.

She snorts, rolling her eyes, "You're definitely that kinda girl, Mr. Parker. Go on, get out of here." She pecks him on the lips, mindful of the blood still covering his person, and gives him a light shove in Iron Man's direction.

He sets off amidst a chorus of moans and boos, but turns to look at her once more and she smiles and mouths, thank you.

He smiles back and blows her a kiss before forcing himself to turn and leave, but wanting desperately to stay and bask in the warmth of her affection.

At the end of the day, he had made a bit of a fool of himself, but MJ had laughed, and he knew there wasn't much in this world he wouldn't do to put that special smile on her face.