Work Text:
“You know, I was thinking.”
Ahsoka knew that tone. The tone that meant Anakin was about to bring up some random thing that was inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. That he was going to nag her about until she saw things his way or convinced him why her view was just as valid. Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was annoying.
Right now, as she was trying to catch up on all the comic and webtoon updates she’d missed over the last month of working with the Clone Relief Movement and cleanup for the war, it was annoying. But she rather Anakin be like this, potentially annoying her about nothing, than how he’d been a little over half a standard year ago. When he’d been so broken that if she hadn’t gotten to him in just the nick of time, she would have lost him.
She hummed absently in response, continuing to idly run her hand through the soft curls on his head as he laid in her lap.
“We don’t have any photos of us together.”
“You were the poster boy for the war. They always wanted pictures of you for propaganda. And since I was always there, I got dragged into them,” Ahsoka grumbled. Force, she hated those stupid propaganda photos when journalists and their teams came through where they’d set up camp or the aftermath of a mission. “There are plenty of pictures of us together.”
“No. Not like that,” Anakin said with an impatient roll of his eyes. “I mean pictures of us. Together. As a couple. Other couples do.”
“Other couples aren’t part of a religious order that bans attachments, particularly romantic ones,” Ahsoka replied dryly.
“Exactly. That’s the point.”
“What’s the point?”
“It doesn’t bother you that even though our names are probably going to go down in history books, no one is ever going to know about us. People will know we fought together and won a war together and went on to become renowned Jedi masters in the future, but not about us.”
“I always thought that was the point. For no one to ever find out.”
“Come on. You’ve really never thought about it?”
“No, Skyguy.”
“Why not?”
Because this was already more than she could have ever wanted. More than she should have ever wanted. Something that by all rules of propriety should have never happened. She didn’t dare hope for or even contemplate the idea of more. Not if they wanted to maintain this charade and stay Jedi. These private moments were all they could have. But she wasn’t sure how exactly to put that into words to Anakin. It would never sound or feel the way it sounded in her head.
“Because we’re Jedi,” Ahsoka said simply. “We both knew what that meant when we decided to pursue this.”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t dream sometimes, Snips.”
Ahsoka looked away from her datapad, having long been distracted from her reading.
“Maybe. But seems like a nice way to have evidence around to get caught.”
“Not if we let Artoo safe-keep them. He does it for me and Padmé.”
It was reckless, if you asked Ahsoka. Him and Padmé also had less to lose if their relationship was found out than if Anakin and Ahsoka’s relationship were found out. Not as bad as it would have been if they’d been found out during the war and her apprenticeship to Anakin. That would have been a Republic scandal. But there would definitely be a lot of questions from the Council. If worse came to worst, Anakin had somewhere to go. A life he could build. A life separate from the Jedi and separate from her. Ahsoka didn’t have that luxury. Life as a Jedi was the only life she knew.
“No,” Ahsoka answered with what she hoped was a final tone. Not that Anakin Skywalker understood that.
“Just one. And think? One day, centuries from now, when we’re gone, and Artoo’s still here, his next companion could find it, and people could know when it doesn’t matter.”
Ahsoka returned back to her reading as she said, “Anakin, you’ve been watching way too many of those early Republic dramas.”