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iwaizumi's not sure he heard it right the first time.
"what again?" he asks oikawa, steadying himself on his elbows while he lays on his tummy on the floor.
"...i want to try to kiss."
"you want to—" he searches his best friend's face for any hint of a joke, but oikawa is hugging his knees and his eyes are downcast. not shy, but thinking. "—you haven't ever kissed?"
oikawa's eyes snap to him. "you have?"
"no, you idiot. i'm just surprised you haven't."
"just because i'm irresistible, iwa-chan—"
"oh, no," iwaizumi cuts him off, smirking, "you're totally resistible."
"that why you haven't kissed me?" oikawa tries, smirking right back. he's sitting cross-legged now, leaning on his palms on either side of him. iwaizumi struggles with sputtering out an answer—"what the hell, shittykawa!"—before he eventually sits cross-legged too, scowling.
"i'd never kiss you," he says surely.
"uh-huh, sure," oikawa responds flippantly, "keep telling yourself that." and a smile blooms on his lips that half-reaches his eyes. iwaizumi catches it from behind the crests of oikawa's knees in the moment that they watch each other.
they laugh together, feeling ridiculous.
"what!" oikawa giggles brightly.
"what!" iwaizumi shoots back.
"nothing!"
"okay...!?" iwaizumi looks to the side long enough for the giggles to bubble off into wistful sighs.
as wistful as sixteen-year-olds can get, anyway. oikawa has looked away too, iwaizumi finds when his gaze sweeps over to his best friend again. his downcast gaze is hooded, lips pursed.
it's not wrong, but iwaizumi loves oikawa laughing. "oi, shittykawa."
oikawa doesn't look, "hm?"
"kiss me, then."
the squint iwaizumi receives is, he thinks, deserved. already he's eating his words, so solidly stated just moments ago. oikawa at least looks taken aback, but when he tells iwaizumi as much about the word-eating, iwaizumi is quick to retort.
"i said i'd never kiss you. never said i wouldn't let you kiss me."
"my, you're bold," oikawa teases, but the smile playing on his lips now is one he needs to actively stop from crinkling up the corner of his eyes. iwaizumi can't really bring himself to keep staring, this once.
"got it from you," he grouches light-heartedly, before finding an interesting spot on his bedroom wall and watching that instead.
oikawa peers at him, chin resting on his arms that rest on his knees. he's giddy at iwaizumi's suggestion, happy that he'd let oikawa get all over his space like that; not that he didn't already but—like that. that's new. and that's somewhat special.
"sounds like a bad idea," he offers as an out, because oikawa doesn't see any downsides to kissing iwaizumi, his best friend for all life so far, who is also handsome, even if not very much the charmer between them. he's nice, and—oikawa surprises himself—kind, so, theoretically, iwaizumi would be a great catch, for a first kiss. and all oikawa needs is a reason not to, and he won't. because otherwise, by all means, he will.
it's iwaizumi that surprises him this time. "i don't think so," he says, because when he makes a decision he sticks to it. and then, because he can't live knowing oikawa even heard that from him, he adds, "it's a horrible idea," and hopes oikawa gets he didn't mean it.
trust his best friend to do just that. "so can i kiss you, iwaizumi?" he peers.
"what's up with the—" iwaizumi has to catch himself because oikawa has knelt and is moving to him, "—full name, shittykawa?"
oikawa shrugs, seating himself before him. "dunno. sets the mood?" he tries, smiling, and oh, that's rather nice, on him. iwaizumi has only seen oikawa be shy a handful of times, and in that handful it hadn't even been real all the time, mostly to appease some people, and to pretend he didn't absolutely know what he was doing.
iwaizumi wonders for a second if oikawa knows what he's doing now. both with the kiss, and, confusingly, what he's doing to iwaizumi.
like this, they kind of look like they're in the middle of an ancient ritual, something like tradition, even if iwaizumi didn't think either of them knew much about tradition. oikawa did, probably, since he had an older sister, and there's something knowing about the way he always carries himself, something perpetual. but since as a rule, iwaizumi knows everything oikawa does, he dismisses the thought.
the kiss, though. they're going to kiss—he focuses on that.
"how do you want to go about this?" oikawa asks. his two hands are on each of his thighs, elbows jutted out sideways to imitate some modern rendition of an unfamiliar formal gesture, like he's waiting for iwaizumi to lay down some rules.
"i don't know," iwaizumi answers honestly, kind of deflating. "just kiss me, maybe? and we'll see from there?"
oikawa smiles, and when he speaks his voice is a low, conniving whisper. "that sounds so weird, hearing you say kiss so many times, iwa-chan. it doesn't suit you."
iwaizumi makes to retort something smart, but his eyes settle on oikawa's soft features, the way no one part of his face stands out too much and everything just fits together: the curl of his brows and the slope of his nose; the slant of his cheeks and his thick, fluttering lashes. his cupid's bow, and then, his lips—pink and a little parted. shiny and nowhere near parched. they're probably soft, iwaizumi thinks. and then, guess i'm about to find out.
he finds himself leaning in before oikawa even does. and oikawa, true to their agreement, stops him by cupping his face.
"ah-ah," he tuts, grinning beautiful blushing pink, "my kiss, iwa-chan, not yours."
"you're so slow," iwaizumi complains.
oikawa squints. "you're so eager."
"kiss me or don't, shittykawa." his voice is low, dropping into a husky whisper oikawa thinks he shouldn't be capable of at sixteen. iwaizumi's eyes have settled on the curve of oikawa's mouth and he feels conscious, somehow, at the blatant gesture.
"iwa-chan," oikawa matches his pitch to iwaizumi's, so the nickname rolls of his tongue low and breathless. he leans in slowly, just a little, enough to mix his labored, ghostly breath with iwaizumi's. he looks at iwaizumi's lips first, and then his eyes, and he swallows. "i'm going to kiss you now."
"about time..."
it feels almost like this will be his actual official first kiss, with how palpable the tension is in the room. like it wasn't arranged out of the blue and so suddenly; and it feels exactly like it's 9PM, and exactly like oikawa is going to change his life in the next five minutes.
iwaizumi doesn't get the chance to overthink it. in the next moment, oikawa's lips are on his—supple and gentle and soft—and it kind of sends his stomach flipping, and it feels wrong.
he kisses back, and at oikawa's startled sound, there it is: the switch flips, and it's every version of right he's ever known.
iwaizumi physically feels his shoulders sag as he relaxes into the kiss, and for every centimeter he tilts his head to the right, so does oikawa, and their contact deepens.
oikawa's left hand is cradling iwaizumi's jaw and he rubs at his cheek every time iwaizumi leans in a bit too much and a bit too fast, hungry and thirsty at once, drinking oikawa up.
breathing, oikawa mutters for a moment against iwaizumi's lips, "my kiss—" he feels iwaizumi's breathless laugh, "—not yours." oikawa smiles with him as he says it.
forehead still on oikawa's, iwaizumi nips at his best friend's lips one, two times before he pulls away fully and regards him with shy, but pleased eyes.
"good?" oikawa asks, nervous because he hadn't known what he was doing—only that for him, it felt amazing, and he can only hope iwaizumi can say the same. if he didn't oikawa might cry.
as much as possible, iwaizumi doesn't do anything to inflate oikawa's already enormous ego, but he's not a masochist, so he lets himself smile this one out, stoic shell be damned. he and oikawa had just gone and done what was supposedly a huge milestone in anyone's adolescent life.
and that was right—it was a milestone. but things done with your best friend never seem too daunting. big, and wondrous, still, but not the kind that makes your heart thud fearfully or that makes you worry out of your mind.
"it was good," iwaizumi admits after a time.
"i hope that wasn't hesitation, iwa-chan."
"no," iwaizumi says steadily, looking oikawa right in the eye. he's still close. "it was good."
oikawa beams. that's always been a good look on him. iwaizumi contemplates the next course of action, and wonders if anything should change, or if he should ask.
"iwa-chan," oikawa, as always, beats him to it. or at least at first, iwaizumi thinks he does. but oikawa goes right in for the kill. "you're looking at me funny."
he is by no means searching, but iwaizumi finds anyway, that oikawa looks like he should be kissed again. like iwaizumi should kiss him again.
he swallows, mildly panicking. "maybe because you're ugly, idiot." he huffs for show. "idiotkawa."
"iwa-chan," oikawa repeats, more tentative, and his gaze grazes the floor of iwaizumi's room. "i think..."
"kiss me," iwaizumi blurts out, brain-to-mouth filter gone on vacation. but it's oikawa. iwaizumi struggles to make sense of him sometimes, but he's compelling, and right now iwaizumi is compelled to place his lips on oikawa's again.
but surprisingly, oikawa shakes his head. the index finger on his right hand traces patterns on the shiny hardwood floor.
"i can't," he says, "i like you." and he doesn't say much else, knowing iwaizumi understood the rest of what he might have meant. because they were sixteen, but they were smart at sixteen; have always been smart, since before.
but, "kiss me again," iwaizumi presses, like an idiot.
oikawa scowls playfully. "you dork, i have feelings, it's not fair."
"to you or to me?" iwaizumi raises a brow. "because if you think it's unfair to me and that's why, you're wrong."
"i'm not about to take advantage of you, iwa-chan."
for a second, iwaizumi gives his best friend the most deadpan face he's got. and then he asks, also deadpan, "shittykawa. do you want to kiss me."
oikawa bites his lip. "yeah."
"okay," iwaizumi says easily, and even easier he admits, "i want to kiss you too, so... i'm going to. stop me if you don't want it."
startled, oikawa begins to say, "iwa-chan," but iwaizumi already has both his hands on oikawa's jaw; is already hooding his eyes as he leans in and when he tilts his head to the left oikawa closes his eyes, tilts his own head to the right, and braces himself for another kiss.
it is different.
heart racing, oikawa pins the definition of iwaizumi's kissing as thorough. every movement of his lips feels like it was thought out, tailored to make oikawa feel like there was something there that was similar to his own affections. the possibility makes him smile, and then makes him snicker fondly when iwaizumi smiles against him for half a second in response and goes right back to kissing.
"oh my god," oikawa murmurs later, face still sandwiched between iwaizumi's hands. he feels them fidget before he fully opens his eyes.
"good?" iwaizumi asks in a whisper.
oikawa shakes his head, purposely turning the corners of his mouth down. "better."
iwaizumi nods, grinning with his teeth, and lets go of oikawa's jaw slowly, eyes somewhere to the side. he throws a bashful look over at his best friend as oikawa licks his lips—iwaizumi's stomach tumbles—and when they lock eyes it's almost a repeat of a while ago, and they burst out laughing, softly.
"what," oikawa says, the edges of it feathery.
"nothing," iwaizumi counters, just as light. he can't suppress his smile, can't stop looking at oikawa, can't stop the tingling of his palms that almost ask him to do that again.
and he knows he's staring, but it's like a freight train when iwaizumi is reminded that oikawa likes him. oikawa—perfect, powerful, and essentially his better half—likes him. has feelings for him. and he's never thought about the possibility, but the knowledge makes his chest sort of swell; makes tears prickle his eyes.
it's obviously obvious, because oikawa makes a concerned noise. "iwa-chan—?"
"you like me?" iwaizumi asks, incredulous. his shimmering wet marbles for eyes latch onto oikawa's chocolate brown orbs for some sort of purchase.
"you make it sound like a crime," oikawa pouts.
"no. no, i'm happy."
"you're... happy?" oikawa says slowly, furrowing his eyebrows because it's difficult to understand. his laugh is disbelieving, but he rides the wave of the moment to say, "well, i guess i am amazing. and charming, and the best—"
"—and smart. and actually nice when you want to be." iwaizumi surprises the both of them. he's never been good with emotional surges and apparently, he won't be starting now. "you're so lovable, oikawa."
"i'm—"
"oh shit!" iwaizumi exclaims, understanding what he just said. in a hasty mess, he rushes to get up and makes a run for the door.
oikawa's arms are around his torso within seconds, restraining him just by the door handle.
he's never gonna let iwaizumi go, but more importantly, he's never gonna let this go. iwaizumi closes his eyes, defeated.
"i'm so lovable, iwa-chan?" oikawa croons, laughing soundlessly by iwaizumi's right ear. iwaizumi feels oikawa's shoulders shake. he's having too fun a time.
"maybe," iwaizumi grunts, brain-to-mouth filter apparently still on leave.
"does that mean you have feelings for me, iwa-chan?"
iwaizumi turns in oikawa's grip to face him and fix him a look that he hopes communicates how stupid oikawa is. and also, how stupid iwaizumi has been.
"when have i not, i wonder," he muses for the both of them.
oikawa's hands flex around iwaizumi's middle, and his face looks incredulous even as he worries his lower lip trying to conceal an array of emotions that range from giddy to slightly bothered.
"i can't believe this is your confession," he drawls, "and you're not even sure!"
iwaizumi blanches. "hey!" he puts his hands on oikawa's upper arms as if to either hold him back, or keep him there. he looks him in the eye again, "how could i know when i've never felt anything different? you've been with me my literal whole life, you idiot."
oikawa's not convinced. "and you've been with me my whole life! hello? what am i missing?"
"can we not just accept that i love you, shittykawa?" iwaizumi grumps, "and that i like you, alongside it."
"unromantic!"
"actually," iwaizumi taunts, cupping oikawa's left cheek with his hand, "very romantic."
"i hate you," oikawa laments, face fiery red. "i don't believe you," he lies, and iwaizumi knows it. "prove it so i do."
an undignified squawk makes its way past oikawa's throat when iwaizumi unceremoniously pinches both his cheeks. it kind of hurts, honestly, but once oikawa complains he knows iwaizumi will do something about that in a minute.
"you like me," iwaizumi says, pursing his lips and trying to conceal a pleased smile.
"i love you," oikawa amends.