Work Text:
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters and I don't own any music by Avril Lavigne.
Song Link: Let Me Go
Let Me Go
Naruto stared one last time at the apartment he had called home for the past eleven years of his life. Two years ago it had finally begun feeling like home with the unexpected appearance of Uchiha Itachi, the man who had at one time pursued him for Kumara who dwelled within him and somehow had become his lover instead. His ebony haired lover had somehow made the apartment into a home and it used to mean something for Naruto to reminisce happily between visits, but now it meant nothing. Because Itachi was dead.
The blonde took a deep breath, trying to catch even a whisper of Itachi’s lingering scent, but it had been months now since the elder Uchiha’s death and even longer since Itachi had been in his apartment. There wasn’t even the faintest whiff of forest, musk or death, except for the death that clung to Naruto since his lover’s passing.
Despite the memories that persisted, everything was only a reminder of Itachi’s death in the end and the pain of that December eclipsed everything else. The blonde took a shuddering breath, his fragile heart barely held together by the promise he had made to Itachi to bring the bastard home. Of course, now Sasuke had declared war on Konoha because despite everything Itachi had done to protect his brother, Sasuke had discovered the truth about his elder brother.
Thinking of the younger Uchiha brought a mix of anger and compassion. He had fought with himself and trained to no longer feel hatred towards Sasuke for killing Itachi. Fighting Nagato had helped him find those paths and while the hatred was gone, he was still angry with the bastard. Really angry.
A knock at the door pulled the young shinobi from his dark thoughts as he looked up at his teacher and friend. “Kakashi-sensei.” Naruto said, his tone somber and quiet.
The silver haired jounin placed a hand on Naruto’s shoulder as he watched the blonde try to control his emotions. “Don’t give up your apartment, Naruto.” He glanced around to check whether anyone was eavesdropping before whispering, “It’s the only place Itachi probably called home since the massacre.”
Naruto shook his head, swallowing harshly as the agonizing sorrow threatened to swallow him whole. It helped that there was at least one person who didn’t judge him for his choice in lovers. Of course, Kakashi was one of the few people who knew the truth, though he hadn’t at the time Itachi and he had become lovers. Naruto wasn’t certain when the silver haired jounin discovered their relationship, but he would be forever grateful that Kakashi hadn’t interfered. “It’s too late, I already gave my notice. I’m…gonna stay with Sakura until I find another place once our mission is complete.”
Kakashi sighed, scratching the back of his head briefly before reaching into the pouch at his hip and pulling out a hitaiate. The forehead protector was beaten and scuffed, blood soaked into the fabric in some spots and a deep slash across the middle. “I found this at the Uchiha Hideout.” He murmurs, forcing it into trembling tan hands.
Itachi’s…Tears collect at the corners of Naruto’s eyes before slowly falling down his cheeks and pinging quietly as they drip onto the metal hitaiate. He’d pushed back Itachi’s bangs as he lay dying and it had pushed the forehead protector up and off his forehead. It must have fallen off when his body had been taken. But instead of hugging it to his chest as Kakashi expected, Naruto roughly shoved it into the jounin’s chest. “I can’t do it, sensei.” His voice rough and desperate. “I have to break free from these memories. I gotta let it go, j-just let it go before it kills me. I’ve said goodbye, I…”
Kakashi holds the hitaiate as he watches Naruto try not to fall apart in front of him. Glancing inside, he sees Naruto only took a few clothes and probably some scrolls, but has left everything else behind. “What about your things here? Certainly you’ll need some of it.”
“Set it all on fire.” Naruto said so quietly Kakashi thought he might have imagined it, but as the blonde straightened his back and wiped his tears away, he locked his cerulean eyes with him and said, “I gotta let it go.”
Kakashi could only stand there dumbfounded as his student walked away, leaving the door to his old apartment open. Naruto had always done a good job of putting up a happy front and he still did in front of his friends, but he dropped it around Kakashi when they were alone. He saw how deep the hurt Naruto carried went, the agonizing sorrow the blonde carried within his soul and he didn’t know how to help. The jounin gently locked and then shut the door before deciding to talk to the landlord.
Itachi wrapped his arm more tightly around Nagato, holding the frail man up as they continued towards the strange chakra they had both felt. Being brought back to life certainly wasn’t something the Uchiha prodigy had expected to happen and he felt ill at ease uncertain of why he had been brought back. Is Sasuke still alive? Is Naruto okay? Did he succeed in getting Sasuke home?
“We’ve been forced to cover a great deal of ground before sunrise. I supposed the time to fight is coming.” Itachi murmured to Nagato.
“Who could they be?”
Itachi was silent, his thoughts wondering as they walked beside the lake. How much time has past? He thought, glancing around for any clues that would tell him whether they were brought back to life only months or years since their deaths, or even centuries. Thinking about his little blonde lover having to return home to an empty apartment squeezed at the hole where his heart had once beat. That there was nothing there that would ever give proof to their love, he had never given Naruto anything to keep from him and while it had been sound reasoning at the time, Itachi regretted it. Because now that apartment where Itachi shared so many good memories would be barren of any proof of their love, like they were nothing at all instead of everything to each other.
The Uchiha glanced up from his reminiscing, feeling a familiar chakra signature, but it felt impossible that he would be here! “Surely not…” He muttered out loud, trying to convince himself that there was no way it was Naruto.
“Are they near? It feels almost nostalgic.” Nagato smirked.
Itachi swallowed as he looked at the two approaching figures, his dead heart constricting painfully as he stared at his orange glowing love. Naruto had grown, losing the last vestiges of baby fat, and had transformed into a powerful shinobi.
Naruto’s eyes widened, those blue eyes he loved now a bright golden color as flames licked from his body. “I-Itachi…?” He stuttered, “and Nagato?!”
The other figure, a large blonde haired man dressed in white and wearing goggles over his eyes, blue tattoos on his face. “You know these two?”
“Yeah,” Naruto whispered as he tried to sense what cruel trick was being played, “both of them.”
“Of all the people I could possibly fight…right, Naruto?” Nagato chuckled. “I’m sure time must have passed since our last meeting, but it feels like I’ve only just died. You’ve changed a little.”
“Oh, you mean this?” Naruto asked, dragging his eyes away from Itachi to look down at his clenched fists. “It’s called Chakra Mode—it’s a thing I got for learning to control the Kyuubi’s chakra.”
Itachi looked up surprised, “What?”
“So that’s why you look different.” Nagato smiled, “It’s in your eyes.”
“You are saying you can control the Kyuubi’s chakra?” Itachi asked, feelings of pride and admiration that his little lover had accomplished something so difficult swelling in his chest. He yearned to reach out and touch him, but kept his distance as there were too many unknown variables. If Naruto died at his hands, he wasn’t certain what he would do, but he certainly didn’t want to find out even if it did hurt to keep himself distanced. “You have grown more than I could have imagined.”
Itachi tightened his hold on Nagato as his eyes roamed over his little lover, missing the continued conversation as he took in Naruto’s lithe form. It felt like only hours ago he had died with Naruto holding him, but it was obvious that time had passed and Naruto had grown. Had he found someone else? Jealously flared within him at the thought of his kareshi finding someone else, even though he knew he was dead and he had no claim on Naruto anymore.
“Naruto,” the raven murmured, wishing he could see those cerulean eyes he loved so much, “there is something I want to ask you.”
The golden orange blonde straightened, his attention going completely to Itachi. “I wanted to talk to you too.” Itachi…how is it you’re back? I thought I left you in my past, but now with you standing in front of me, I know I was only fooling myself. There’s no way you can be anything except my everything.
Before Itachi could respond, he felt his body moving on his own, fear and anger gripping him as he realized he was being forced to fight his own lover.
Itachi stared at Naruto standing on the water, steam billowing around his flaming chakra. He could help but be proud at how well Naruto fought, his young lover had kept up well against himself and it made him regret never having the chance to spar with Naruto in the past. He knew Naruto wouldn’t let himself be defeated, he had to realize that while he was Itachi, he also wasn’t. “I will leave you to deal with Sasuke.” I trust you more than anyone else, kareshi.
Naruto smirked, heart aching as he wished he could just wrap his arms once more around the raven. “He always was mine to deal with.” I won’t let you down again, Itachi.
A small smile flickered across Itachi’s lips as he said so lowly Naruto almost didn’t hear it. “I knew I was right to entrust it to you.” I love you.
It? Naruto thought, staring at his former lover, what is it? But before he can truly ponder what Itachi meant, Nagato is yelling at him to lead him away as he summons two large beasts on the shore. Once more, the fight begins and Naruto is left wondering how he is going to defeat Itachi, never mind whether Itachi is stronger or not, but he knows there’s no way he can kill the raven. It doesn’t matter that he knew Itachi was already dead, that this reanimated version was nothing more than a puppet because despite being a puppet, it still was Itachi. And he couldn’t kill his own lover, he couldn’t!
Naruto stood before Itachi, biting his lip to stop himself from grabbing the man and kissing him. He might be free of the control of the puppeteer, but they were still in front of Bee and he knew it would be dangerous to let anyone know about their relationship. Not everyone would be understanding of it like Kakashi and the majority of the shinobi world only knew Itachi as being one of the top criminals in the bingo book. But it physically hurt him to not be able to touch him, kiss him once more, even if it wouldn’t be the same because the body inhabited by Itachi’s soul wasn’t Itachi’s. But it was his soul that Naruto loved and it felt like he was going to break being so close to him and not being able to touch him.
“I will put a stop to the Reanimation Jutsu. I will leave Madara to you two.” Itachi suddenly said, staring straight at Naruto, his eyes flicking down to Naruto’s lips before meeting his eyes again. The tension in the air increasing as the two lovers yearning for each other became palatable.
“We fought with a Reanimation Ninja on the way here.” Bee suddenly said, breaking the lovers’ gaze. "The Sand shinobi sealed him, but it seems he can’t be killed, okay? This is a perfect jutsu that has no weakness, okay?”
Itachi looked from Bee to Naruto again. “I told you earlier. There is a weakness in every jutsu.” We will have to part once again, kareshi…I have to let you go.
Naruto frowned, the idea of Itachi leaving his sight made his heart hurt. The thought of Itachi being gone again, not being able to talk with him again or hold him again filled him with sorrow. But I have to let you go! I have to break free of you because otherwise I’ll fall apart. Yet the thought of separating from Itachi after just finding him made him tremble. “No, I’ll stop him! Leave the rest to me!” Making a clone, Naruto takes a step forward to go with Itachi before suddenly the flamed chakra surrounding him and his clone died out. Staring down at his tanned hands, Naruto clenched his teeth together, knowing he couldn’t leave his clone with Bee and go with Itachi to find the puppeteer with his power split like this.
“You’ve used Nine Tails Chakra Mode too much.” Bee said, stating the obvious. “No more clones right now, Naruto.”
Itachi was silently elated to be able to see Naruto once more as he had always known him. Seeing his sun-kissed blonde hair and tanned skin made him ache to reach out and caress a whiskered cheek softly. Those azure eyes he loved were looking at him with such love and fervor that it took all of his control to not grab the blonde and plunder those soft lips, but he didn’t want their last kiss to be in this body that wasn’t even his. Not from his undead self. “Don’t try to do everything yourself.” He ordered, knowing better than anyone how impossible it is to take it all on himself. “I am the best one to put an end to the Reanimation Jutsu. I also have an idea.”
The clone disappeared with a puff of smoke as Naruto glared at Itachi, knowing how stubborn his lover is. “I’ll put an end to this war. It’s my responsibility!” I failed you, saiai, I won’t fail anyone else ever again. Naruto looked away, blinking back tears as exhaustion set in and let his emotions show clearly on his face. Seeing Itachi, even if it wasn’t Itachi, hurt so much. The pain he thought he had buried had come back tenfold and he took a shuddering breath as he willed himself to not crumble before Itachi and Bee.
Kareshi… Itachi tamped down his desire to wrap his arms around his blonde lover. “I’ll admit that you’re stronger than before. But because of that, you seem to have lost sight of what is really important.” Not our love, kareshi, though that will always be most important to me. But our lives as shinobi demand our village always comes first. “Now listen carefully. The people of the village have begun to admire you. They think of you as a comrade because you fought hard for their acceptance. You once said it was everyone who helped you to get to where you are now, if you forget others because of your power and become arrogant and egotistical you’ll eventually become just like Madara.” And I could not bear that thought.
Naruto’s eyes widened in shock at the insinuation.
“No matter how powerful you become, do not try to shoulder everything yourself. If you do you will surely fail. Your father, Minato, was able to fulfill his duty as Hokage because he had your mother, Kushina, and his comrades at his side. You share your father’s dream. Do not forget: Becoming Hokage doesn’t mean the people will acknowledge you. But when people acknowledge you, you can become Hokage. Never forget your friends!” Itachi commanded him before silently adding, never forget me, kareshi.
Naruto looked away, ashamed at how he had allowed his pain and suffering to cut off everyone who had become important to him. “You’re right.” He whispered, glancing contritely at Itachi. “I forgot. I thought I had to do it all alone.” Because I lost you and I couldn’t bear the thought of having someone cause me that much pain ever again.
Itachi smiled, doing his best to convey his feelings to his little lover wordlessly. Looking at the raven on his arm, Itachi set the bird on fire with the black flames of Amaterasu. The possibility of the raven falling into the hands of someone who would use Shisui’s eyes for evil was something he couldn’t leave behind.
Naruto gasped as the bird was engulfed in black flames. “W-why?!”
“Shisui’s eyes won’t work for another decade or so. You won’t be able to use it against Sasuke.” Itachi looked at Naruto, admiring how much the blonde had grown and matured since their first time together. “But you possess something far greater than Shisui’s eyes.”
“Me?” He whispered, eyes widening.
“You have the same soul as Shisui.” The raven man said, smiling briefly at Naruto as thoughts of his dearest cousin and best friend filled his mind. Naruto’s soul was just as bright as Shisui’s and Itachi would do everything possible to make sure that his lover’s soul wasn’t crushed as Shisui’s had been. “That is really what Shisui wanted to pass on. You don’t need his eye anymore, as you are now, you can stop Sasuke without something like this.”
Naruto gasped, stepping towards Itachi, but stopping himself from grabbing his lover. He knew if he touched him, he’d never let go again. “You can stand before Sasuke too! This time, you can—”
“No.” Itachi interrupted, shaking his head. “I tried to do everything myself once. This time, I will leave it to my comrades.” To my kareshi. Looking to the eight tailed jinchuriki, Itachi pushed chakra into his legs and said, “Killer Bee, take care of Naruto,” before pushing away and leaping into the air. He couldn’t look back, if he did, he might not find the will to leave Naruto behind again. And he had to. He had to put an end to this forbidden jutsu, for the sake of his village, his brother and his lover.
“ITACHI!” Naruto yelled, taking a step forward as if to follow, but he knew he couldn’t. Tears threatened to fall, collecting at the corners of his eyes and he knew he couldn’t let them fall because if they started, he wouldn’t be able to stop. And they were in the middle of a war. Swallowing the lump in his throat and ignoring his breaking heart, he reactivated Chakra mode, the orange chakra engulfing him and burning away the tears that began to fall. I love you, saiai! You can rest after this, you can go back to your death with no regrets, but…I thought I let you go, but I was only fooling myself. So this time I won’t run away from the memories, I won’t let you go.
Itachi turned his back to his otouto, staring at Kabuto who was stuck in his Izanami Jutsu. Sasuke wasn’t supposed to follow him, but of course his foolish little brother had. Yet he couldn’t deny that it felt good to fight with Sasuke instead of against him. “I’ll stop the reanimation Jutsu now. And…all the reanimated dead will fade away. That should end the war.”
Sasuke frowned, “But…you’ll be gone too, aniki.”
“I’ll have protected my village as Itachi Uchiha of the Leaf again. I have no more regrets.”
“Why?” Sasuke demanded, anger coloring his words. “Why help the very village that put you where you are now? You may be able to forgive, but I cannot! You have no more regrets? What about what you’ve made me become?!”
“I’m not the one who can change you, Sasuke.” Itachi said gently, cerulean depths flashing before his mind as he approached Kabuto. “But I can stop this jutsu. That will fulfill my promise to Naruto, at least. I will stop the Reanimation Jutsu. Tell me the signs. Tsukuyomi!” Itachi listened as Kabuto told him the signs before forcing the snake man to make them. I kept my promise; I leave the rest up to you…Naruto. I have to let you go so you can find happiness elsewhere. You have to break free of me and live, let me go. It's never too late to love.
Rat, Ox, Monkey, Tiger, Dragon, Boar…
Sasuke glanced away, hurt and confused. “I guess…it won’t matter what I say, will it? When I saw you I followed you in order to confirm whether or not Tobi spoke the truth. But that’s not all I confirmed.” He looked back up at his brother, staring at the man he had admired and wished to become. “When I’m with you, the past floods back. The feelings I had as a child, of adoration for my big brother. That’s why the closer I get to you and how we used to be back then, the more I understand you.” Sasuke’s expression turned to one of anger and hate. “And the more I hate the Leaf Village for causing you so much pain! I hate it more than ever! I know what you want me to do. And because you’re my big brother, you’ll disapprove. It’s because I’m your brother that, no matter what you say, you’re not going to stop me! Even if you protect the village now…I will still destroy it someday.”
Itachi paused, warring with his emotions of protecting his village and remaining infinitely in this jutsu, but he knew he couldn’t do that. Not for Sasuke. Not for Naruto. “Tiger, Dragon…”
“Goodbye.” Sasuke whispered, sorrow welling up within him in having to watch his brother die again.
“Boar. Reanimation Jutsu, release!” Immediately a soft white light surrounded him, the jutsu beginning to break down. Itachi slowly stood, swaying slightly as he tried to hold on. “There’s still time…I feel like my consciousness is slowly fading…” he whispered, moving towards Sasuke sedately. “I need to tell you everything before we part. There’s no need to lie anymore. The night I left you, I did do everything Danzo and Tobi told you. I’ll show you…the whole truth.”
Naruto watched as the reanimated shinobi began to glow, their movements stopping. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically, and seeing the sudden change made him gasp with understanding. “No…” he whispered, his heart clenching painfully as he knew he was now too late to stop it. “No! Don’t let me go!” He cried, Itachi…Don’t do this! “Don’t let me go, please don’t let me go! Don’t do it.”
But as the reanimated shinobi began to crumble, Naruto knew it was too late and once more all he would have were the memories of their time together. There would be nothing left of Itachi.
“I regret now, not telling you everything before it came to this. There’s nothing more to say. I have told you the whole truth. I won’t have to ever again.” Itachi felt the jutsu failing, parts of his ‘skin’ flaking off. “I always lied to you and asked you to forgive me. I deliberately kept you at a distance by my own hand. All because I didn’t want you to get caught up in any of this. But now...I believe that perhaps you could have changed Father, Mother and the rest of the Uchiha clan if I had just been open with you from the start…” He reached out, his fingers almost touching Sasuke, “and looked you straight in the eyes and told you the truth, then I wouldn’t have had to stand before you, from above, as a failure, telling you all of this. So this time, I want to impart this truth to you…You don’t ever have to forgive me.” Itachi reached behind and cradled Sasuke’s head in his hand, leaning forward so their foreheads would touch. “And no matter what you do from here on out, know this…I will always love you.”
Itachi felt the jutsu slough off him as his soul became freed once more. “I have one final request, otouto.” He whispered, smiling at his little brother. “Take care of Naruto.”
Naruto unlocked the door to his apartment. The war was over, they were finally finished with the fighting and death, Madara was finally defeated and he had finally been released from the hospital. He was completely exhausted and his heart felt so heavy as he stepped into the apartment he had said goodbye to. Kakashi had ordered the landlord not to get rid of the apartment yet and had even paid the rent for six months. His sensei knew him better than he knew himself. How could he have thought he could leave here and all the memories attached to it?
He dropped his pack, his hand clasped around his most precious item as he stumbled to the bed, curling up on the soft comforter. “I kept my promise, Itachi.” He whispered to the empty room, Sasuke had returned to the village, though as a prisoner for now, but Kakashi had promised Naruto that Sasuke wouldn’t be put to death due to the extenuating circumstances that led to his defect as well as his eventual help in defeating Kaguya.
No one else knew of the discussion between he and Sasuke, how Sasuke had still been planning to keep everyone united through destruction and Naruto wasn't going to tell that conversation to anyone unless absolutely necessary. Their final fight had bared open all truths between them and they were drawn inexplicably closer by their dual love for Itachi. The irony of how Naruto had planned to leave Itachi in his past and then convincing Sasuke to do just the opposite wasn't lost on him, but Naruto had learned that lesson well too. He wouldn't push away the memories because it only led to more pain, more anger and more hatred. No, Naruto would embrace Sasuke as his brother and together they would find a brand new life down this road without Itachi.
Thinking on his raven haired lover, Naruto pulled the item clasped in his hand to his chest, holding tight to Itachi’s hitaiate. Kakashi had given it to him once again when he came to the hospital to visit him. He didn’t have the will to turn it away again and had cried his anguish over the forehead protector when no one was in the room to see. Holding it now, Naruto could almost feel Itachi’s arms slipping around his waist and pulling him back into a warm chest as soft lips ghosted over his skin. Kareshi…
Naruto whimpered as he took a shuddering breath, “I won’t let you go, saiai,” he said harshly and firmly, “so don’t let me go.”
Dhampir
Page 9
11/16/20
Note: So...I rewrote this one twice too. I originally had thought to have a clone stay with Killer Bee and Naruto follows Itachi, but of course the series busted that for me, haha.
I was going to have them maybe go off together to talk alone, but in the flurry activity and a WAR, going off together just didn't seem like it would work.
So this ended up a bit choppy since it's multiple scenes/episodes, but I was NOT about to write out 20+ episodes!
Fun note too, I found a timeline of events and it has Itachi's death set as happening in December, ha! I didn't even know that when I had this song in mind, but talk about perfection ^_^
ALSO, I KNOW I SAID THIS WAS THE LAST CHAPTER, BUT THERE WILL BE ONE MORE!
This will be kind of an alternate happy ending...It'll still be based off a song by Avril Lavigne. ^_^