Work Text:
Bruce walked into his apartment in Stark Tower, intent on taking a nap. The other Avengers all seemed to be thinking “nap” too, and had all gone their separate ways. It had been a long, tiring mission that had included a “Code Green,” as the team had started calling it. Bruce was mostly just happy that his pants had survived this time.
It wasn’t long before Bruce had taken a shower, put on some clean clothes, and crashed on the bed.
When he got up roughly five hours later to get something to eat, he noticed something on his desk next to his Stark-Tech laptop. He stopped and stared at it.
This had to be someone’s idea of a joke. It was a bottle of “stress-relief” lotion.
And the bottle was green .
Bruce picked it up and scoffed. This was probably Tony poking fun at him. He didn’t mind, really, because it was nicer than having people tiptoeing around him, acting like he’d turn into the Other Guy and smash them if they so much as breathed wrong. But stress relief lotion?
“Wow, Stark,” Bruce muttered. “ Thanks. ”
He put the bottle back on his desk and walked away, shaking his head.
He didn’t think much of it for several days afterward, beyond wondering when Tony had dropped the bottle off.
And then came a day when he’d been washing his hands a bit too much. He was a bit more of a germaphobe these days (he guessed that it was to compensate for everyone else in the Tower not being a germaphobe, especially Tony, Clint, and Thor), and he had been working with a lot of chemicals in the lab lately. Handwashing was basic laboratory protocol, but Bruce had always been just a bit overly cautious, even before (but especially after) becoming the Hulk.
Regardless of the reason, his hands hurt from how dry they had become, and that stupid stress relief lotion was the easiest thing to find that would help. Tony was expecting him in the workshop, and Bruce was actually eager to work on a new project. So, he applied the smallest effective amount of the lotion, tried not to think about how much he actually liked the smell of it (because he would never hear the end of it from Tony), and hurried down to Tony’s workshop.
Tony grinned when he came in.
“Hey, look who finally decided to show up! I was wondering when you’d get here, Jolly Green!”
Bruce rolled his eyes, but smiled at the nickname. As annoying as it could get, he liked that Tony didn’t dance around details that other people seemed scared of. It was something Bruce had gotten used to with surprising ease after moving into the Tower.
Tony immediately launched into an explanation of some upgrades he wanted to make to one of his suits and led Bruce over to where he had a partially-dismantled suit set up. He was gesturing animatedly with a screwdriver as he spoke. Bruce put on his glasses and quickly became absorbed in working and talking with the billionaire.
After a few minutes, Bruce pointed at something and Tony leaned in a bit closer for a better look.
Then Tony paused. His nose twitched just slightly.
“Are you using that stress relief lotion now?”
Bruce froze. He considered lying (but he knew Tony would know he was lying), and finally settled on telling the truth and hoping Tony would drop it (but Bruce knew he wouldn’t).
“Yeah, my hands have been dry.”
Tony shrugged and straightened up. “Glad you like it, Big Man.”
Bruce blinked.
“...That’s it?”
Tony looked at him, the picture of innocence.
“Is what it?”
“No snide remarks, no teasing? You’re just gonna leave it? ...I’m wearing Bath and Body Works lotion and you’re just gonna leave it?”
Tony shrugged again, the beginnings of an infuriating smile creeping onto his face. “Well, now that you mention it…”
Bruce nearly facepalmed. Walked right into that one, Banner. Nice.
And then he smiled. He hated to admit it, but he actually enjoyed Tony’s teasing at times. It made him feel normal, or as close to normal as he could get. It felt good to be treated like a person and not a threat, or a lab specimen, or government property.
Bruce gave a huff of laughter. “So, what, was it supposed to be a joke? Green bottle labeled ‘stress relief’?”
“Well, about 25% of it was a joke,” Tony said, his infuriating smile now firmly in place. “Saw it at the store, couldn’t resist. ...Okay, maybe 38% of it was a joke...”
Bruce shook his head, still smiling. “What were you doing in a Bath and Body Works anyway? Didn’t you already get Pepper an anniversary gift or whatever you’re always buying for her?”
Tony pointed at Bruce with the screwdriver he had been messing with. “Okay, first off, I’ll have you know that it takes a real man to go into that store and buy his girlfriend something she’ll like.”
Bruce gave another huff of laughter.
“And second, no, it wasn’t for Pepper,” Tony continued.
“Then what? Isn’t that store a little—”
“Girly?”
“Actually, I was gonna say cheap. By your standards, anyway.”
“Hey, expensive doesn’t always mean good. I would know, I used to make some seriously expensive s—”
“Language,” Bruce warned.
“Stuff. I was gonna say stuff.” Tony’s expression was one of mock indignation.
“Uh-huh, yeah.” Bruce rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses before turning most of his attention back to the armor. He heard Tony wander off and a few seconds later, there was a plastic bag of blueberries in front of his face.
Bruce straightened up and took a few berries.
“Anyway, as I was saying, no, I wasn’t there for Pepper,” Tony said. “I bought that lotion for you.”
Bruce frowned as he chewed.
“...You went into a Bath and Body Works just to make a joke?”
“Partially, yes.”
“Yeah, you said 38% of it was a joke. What was the other 62%?”
Tony took a deep breath.
“Pepper bought me some of that lotion after I started having anxiety attacks,” he said. He was completely serious now, which was unusual.
“It doesn’t really do anything,” Tony continued, gesturing with the screwdriver. “I mean, heck, it’s just a bottle of lotion that smells good. But we figured out that a little self-care actually works really well to help me relax. Y’know, just taking a few seconds to chill out and breathe. ...And I happen to really like that scent because it’s not girly. And Rhodey likes it too, so he can’t make fun of me.”
Tony met Bruce’s eyes, and Bruce could see nothing but sincerity.
“And, y’know, if it makes you feel any better, you’re not the only one I bought that stuff for,” Tony said. “I mean, the idea came from you, but I got it for everyone, the whole team. Even Goldilocks. Figured we could all use a little more self-care.”
Bruce swallowed. More than just a blueberry seemed stuck in his throat.
“...thanks,” he said.
Tony smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. Then he was gesturing at the suit with the screwdriver and talking again.
“Okay, so for this next hardware upgrade, I was thinking…”
Tony didn’t mention the lotion again until the next time they had a Code Green.
And when Bruce was back to himself, Tony smugly mentioned that Hulk had seemed to like the scent of the lotion too.