Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

--theoxalade created the group chat You'll Never Whine Alone

theoxalade added taa66, iamrobbo, alisson1, thiago6, fabflaco, virg, joegomez, jbhenderson, nabylaaad, joelmatip, sadiomane10, tsimikas21, mosalah11, bigshaq23 to the group

theoxalade: Ok boys. Did I miss anyone?

taa66: um yea?

mosalah11: there are only 15 of us here

theoxalade: ONLY???

taa66: there's gini, origi, jota, milly, bobby, minamino...Anyone else?

joegomez: I think that's kind of the point.

virg: guys. read the group name.

theoxalade: we barely have a 1st team left!!!

iamrobbo: we barely have HALF a first team left

--jbhenderson changed the group name to Come back stronger

taa66: yes dad. ok dad.

theoxalade: wait if I'm the moderator for the group how come you get to change it?

theoxalade: nvm

--theoxalade changed the group name to We Got Hurt All Over Europe

alisson1: not just europe though

alisson1: also south america

mosalah11: and africa?

sadiomane10: good job with the nt naby lad

iamrobbo: NABY LAD

nabylaaad: Merci Sadio

nabylaaad: Yes Robbo

jbhenderson: Anyway what's the point of this group? We have a team group chat, and another first team group chat.

jbhenderson: Shouldn't we focus more on football?

alisson1: or on recovering so we can actually play football

taa66: ok dad

iamrobbo: good point. 

iamrobbo: the new hydrotherapy pool looks sick btw

virg: I call dibs on the two underwater tracks when I get back

taa66: fair enough

taa66: i mean virg's got the worse injury rn

theoxalade: why u need 2? 

virg: for my boy joe of course

theoxalade: of course

theoxalade: anyway

theoxalade: since it was revealed the Boss had a secret account, instagram just wasn't safe anymore 

theoxalade: also we can comment on the boys who played while we watch from home

iamrobbo: team remote watch party!

theoxalade: that's why

sadiomane10: i see

thiago6: hi lads. just got back from physio.

iamrobbo: ThiAgo! ThIAgo alcanTA-RA~

virg: why do I have the song playing in my head even from reading this

fabflaco: what happens to this chat when we recover from injury?

bigshaq23: or covid

thiago6: or both

tsimikas21: or both

theoxalade: too much trouble to update the list

theoxalade: ur all welcome to stay i guess

theoxalade: and watch the still-injured whine and suffer

iamrobbo: and watch us comment on your playing during games

taa66: also see what we think about the kids

theoxalade: what kids??

joegomez: chill. u know, like neco and rhys

theoxalade: ahh, the kids

iamrobbo: don't worry ox. skipper said he won't ask about when ur getting married again

jbhenderson: Did I?

alisson1: u know, with trent calling neco and rhys kids

alisson1: there's something in English for that, I think. Something about a...teapot?

nabylaaad: je ne sais pas

tsimikas21: what? I don't understand

mosalah11: it's just a saying, tsimi

mosalah11: Ali's not actually asking for a teapot

bigshaq23: although the brits do love their tea

mosalah11: sure do

mosalah11: it's coffee for me

bigshaq23: same

tsimikas21: me too

theoxalade: ...a minute of silence for dejan

mosalah11: I'm sorry?

taa66: mo's already found new coffee mates!

iamrobbo: Betrayal!! 

mosalah11: ???

taa66: but about those kids

joelmatip: would u like to hear some interesting facts about the coffee bean?

jbhenderson: Not now, Joel. Thank you.

jbhenderson: What about them, Trent?

taa66: I mean, how many have we got?

theoxalade: um

bigshaq23: neco, rhys, nat, billy, umm...

taa66: billy has no 1st team caps, nat can't play the champions league

iamrobbo: ...Oh.

taa66: Do we have enough to last through Christmas?

theoxalade: uhhh

iamrobbo: well at least we still have milly

taa66: right

taa66: fittest guy in liverpool

taa66: imagine if he still played for City

iamrobbo: then we're doomed!!

mosalah11: Hey, robbo. Smile, relax, we'll be fine :)

iamrobbo: we're doomed :) 

theoxalade: ok that's it then boys! training&recovery time

jbhenderson: That's what I like to see.

--jbhenderson changed the group name to  If I aint got you

TBC?

---

(Maybe) Coming up next time: Is Milner a robot?

New chants?

Chapter Text

--theoxalade added adzllana14, dejlovren6 to the group You'll Never Whine Alone (17)

dejlovren6: what's this?

theoxalade: Adz! Dej! We missed you!

adzllana14: hi guys! I missed you too ❤️😊

jbhenderson: Great choice of kit number Adz 😍

adzllana14: Thx Jord 💕😍

dejlovren6: UGH. Not again.

dejlovren6: hello? Can someone explain to me what this group is about

dejlovren6: im in a fuckin different time zone here, almost bedtime

virg: go to sleep then old man

dejlovren6: shut up I'm just 2 yrs older than you!

joegomez: chill, dej

joegomez: ox made this group for us injured players to support each other

alisson1: and to watch lfc games together

theoxalade: And now it also includes former players!!!

dejlovren6: you should get ingsy then. im not even fuckin injured

theoxalade: ah good point

joegomez: we just thought maybe you could cheer mo up

joegomez: with jota scoring most of the goals in these past few games and all

theoxalade: ofc we miss ingsy too

theoxalade: and i know you're just cranky today because you guys lost to Dortmund yesterday

dejlovren6: 😭😭😭

dejlovren6: AND Mo ignored my messages

alisson1: I don't understand

alisson1: Isn't that what he always does?

bigshaq23: oh shit ali ur right

alisson1: so what's the problem

--dejlovren6 has left the chat

theoxalade: no! wait! mo is starting today!

theoxalade: ...we could watch the game together

virg: he'll be fine. besides, doesn't mo have someone new now? @tsimikas21

joegomez: He does?? O_o

iamrobbo: joey my boy

iamrobbo: you've been focusing more on your fam even before your injury

iamrobbo: hence missing out on all the good team GOSSIP!

adzllana14: Ooooh what gossip? 0w0

adzllana14: hold on I need a cuppa ready. Kettles boiling now

adzllana14: @jbhenderson are you watching this?

jbhenderson: sorry luv, need to get ready for the match soon

--iamrobbo shared a folder

joegomez: !!!

alisson1: !!!

bigshaq23: !!!

theoxalade: !!! wait where is everyone else

theoxalade: they ALL need to see this

alisson1: yeah it does seem a bit quiet today

virg: to be fair, i thought joel was gonna pop up to share some injury stats among former lfc players or something

iamrobbo: quite a few of us recovered to make it into the subs list today! Sorry lads!

theoxalade: 😩 Now I'm not only the lowest-fifa-rated person on the team, but also the longest-injured...

theoxalade: oh no wait there's still @thiago6 who I've barely met

iamrobbo: Tsimi you're starting tonight! wanna explain ur self to the lads before or after the game?

iamrobbo: @tsimikas21 @tsimikas21 @tsimikas21

joegomez: ...I guess he already put his phone away and went to warm up

joegomez: But I didn't expect this at all!!

joegomez: Tsimi flirting with both Mo AND Trent?

virg: I guess someone had to inherit robbo's role of the flirty left back

bigshaq23: We are quite close too 😉

iamrobbo: training-buddy close or heart-emoji close?

virg: ooh someone's jealous 

virg: fucks sake robbo. you and trent made a whole tv show together, remember

theoxalade: At all of our expenses! AND you boys fuckin hung up on me!

theoxalade: On camera!

virg: so i'm sure you won this robbo, whatever "this" is

--theoxalade added james(boring)milner to the group

iamrobbo: JIMMY!!! JAMES!

iamrobbo: MI-LE-NER! to the rescue of your favourite scot!

james(boring)milner: Hi boys

theoxalade: milly u don't have to emphasize the "boring" bit u know

joegomez: yeah I thought it was just for the fans?

alisson1: Was it?

iamrobbo: this is a safe space for banter 

iamrobbo: we support each other in bants

iamrobbo: we support each other with pants?

iamrobbo: is it in or with?

iamrobbo: arghfuck autocorrect

theoxalade: it's ok milly. u don't have to pretend to be boring anymore

virg: what the fuck robbo

iamrobbo: it wasn't meee

alisson1: i'm confused

virg: it's okay ali.

virg: foreign language skills is both a blessing and a curse

virg: trust me, i know

james(boring)milner: Ah sorry for the wait

james(boring)milner: I was just measuring the temperature of me tea

james(boring)milner: Thanks guys. Keeping a consistent online persona helps me stay in character on the socials though.

theoxalade: if you say so...

theoxalade: speaking of language skills...

theoxalade: how great is the Irish kid?? @alisson1

theoxalade: And how do you say this name???

alisson1: Very impressive. clean sheets in both CL and PL debut

joegomez: Calm and composed, good with his feet

joegomez: Great ball distribution even when pressed, unlike someone we know...

virg: wait which one do you mean?

joegomez: *facepalm* good point virg

joegomez: anyway, none of them are in this chat so we're ok

theoxalade: don't you dare leak to ur national teammate @thiago6!

theoxalade: or I will play the same Little Mix song on repeat when we are in rehab together

theoxalade: back to my question

theoxalade: how do you say the kids name? Ka-o-min?

alisson1: I heard it once but forgot how to say it

virg: chio-minh?

virg: must be hard for you Ali, since goalies train together

alisson1: it's ok we don't talk much in training

james(boring)milner: I pronounce it chow-mien

bigshaq23: 😂wut

theoxalade: stop it milly

bigshaq23: I feel sorry for the kid. I can relate though 

theoxalade: yea mate, with a name like yours

alisson1: It's not like you have the easiest name either?

iamrobbo: GUYS! It's Quee-vin! Or KWee-vin!

iamrobbo: It's Irish for Kevin!

iamrobbo: seriously it's not that hard

james(boring)milner: Ah I see

james(boring)milner: I'll call him Kev then

iamrobbo: ...

virg: ...

theoxalade: oh milly

theoxalade: So who are we missing in the chat today? 

theoxalade: I mean whos recovered?

iamrobbo: trent, fab, baby, joel,

iamrobbo: hendo and i are currently on the bench and will probably get subbed on

iamrobbo: same with sadio

iamrobbo: mo and tsimi are also starting!

iamrobbo: A round of virtual applause for our boy trent!

iamrobbo: first time wearing the captain's armband!

iamrobbo: leading our youngest CL squad too

iamrobbo: @adzllana14 you and hendo must be so proud💖

adzllana14: 😍our boy

adzllana14: and this one's from hendo 😍

theoxalade: Yay Treeent!

virg: Also billy the kid making his debut!

alisson1: Rhys and nat played brilliantly on their debuts too

alisson1: @virg @joegomez are you worried about your starting position when you come back?

joegomez: ...May i politely decline to answer?

virg: I could as you the same thing ali

alisson1: Fair enough, sorry boys

joegomez: but the kids are doing really well

virg: which means we need to work harder

theoxalade: somehow it feels wrong to hear joey say this

iamrobbo: Joey, young Padawan

iamrobbo: the hardships you faced at a young age have made you wise

iamrobbo: i meant the injuries ofc

iamrobbo: luv u joey❤️

virg: robbo thats not a real SW quote is it

iamrobbo: no? does it sound like one? +w+

virg: nah

joegomez: thx mate

joegomez: but seriously, youngest squad? did not see that coming tbh

joegomez: and it's only december

alisson1: And only the start of December

virg: ugh don't remind me

virg: still months of rehab ahead

james(boring)milner: Cheer up big man

james(boring)milner: Do you know what's better than running on the treadmill?

virg: ...I can think of many things

virg: sleeping, eating, playing FIFA, training drills, even the painful yoga classes

james(boring)milner: Running on the brand new underwater treadmill at Kirkby!

virg: ...

virg: ok

virg: thank you Milly

james(boring)milner: Anytime

iamrobbo: anyway

iamrobbo: our kids are older than dortmund's kids so we're safe

iamrobbo: no accusations of child labour anytime soon!

theoxalade: 😂 fair enough

theoxalade: though depending on new brexit rules

theoxalade: gini's probably way overworked as a foreign national

iamrobbo: great point!

iamrobbo: Get the man a bigger contract!

--theoxalade added diogoalJ to the group

iamrobbo: NOOOO!!! not dioGOAL also!!

iamrobbo: 😭😭😭

joegomez: That sucks man

joegomez: how long u out for @diogoalJ

diogoalJ: 2 months max?

iamrobbo:😖😖😖  

diogoalJ: could be worse i guess

diogoalJ: thankfully we still have more options in attack

iamrobbo: but the fans made you a chant!

iamrobbo: Diogo Jota! My my, Wolves are gonna miss ya!

iamrobbo: It goes like Mamma Mia

iamrobbo: The boss will love it 😆

TBC?