Work Text:
As a warrior, Lumine feared nothing. Her love for adventure, a trait she got from her brother during their travels, was one of the few reasons she had wanted to see Teyvat before. At least, before it became the calamity that it was when they arrived.
However, much like her run-in at the vault in Mt. Qingce, she had to admit the times when her curiosity and exploration turned into moments of recklessness. Even as Paimon scolded her while tending to her wounds like an overprotective mother, Lumine could never quite fully grasp the gravity of her mortality until after the cuts and bruises had become visible.
No matter how long she stayed in this world, a once disastrous hellscape however many years ago, the feeling of not having her powers fully restored - feeling more vulnerable than she liked - would never be familiar to her.
And while, surely, she was physically stronger now compared to when she first awoke in this world, her own mortality still meant that there would always be something - or someone - more powerful than her.
Perhaps that's when she began to understand that, while she feared no one in battle before, her more human self now had many.
(Never getting to see her Aether again, of course, would always be her worst fear no matter how many powerful forces she had to face.)
The moment she had entered the Golden House with the knowledge of who it was she'd have to fight, she always found it confusing how the unnerving feeling in her chest didn't seem to ease. And as they both raised their weapons against each other - the eleventh Fatui Harbinger against the Hero of Mondstadt - Lumine, despite her steadfast determination and confidence in her strength, couldn't help but notice the way her hand had trembled slightly that day.
She failed to understand it then, having been caught up in the whirlwind of chaos that followed, but she realizes now that what she had felt wasn't the usual exhilaration she felt when she fought Stormterror, nor was it irritation at her inability to defeat Lupus Boreas. Back then, the prospect of fighting someone with the same level of power was something she found exciting, yet she felt none of that.
Instead, what she had felt was fear. The type of fear that felt all too similar. The worst kind.
A fear that had been carved into her bones the moment she was separated from her brother.
Not a fear of dying, but a fear of loss.
She knew it had been inevitable, fighting Childe like this. While they had been on relatively good terms the entire time, both knew that their relationship is not simply one of happenstance. Fittingly enough, it is in Liyue that they meet and establish this friendship of theirs; an unspoken mutual benefit formed in the land of contracts.
(Maybe not all his acts were done to deceive and gain her favor, because surely there were some things he's said, and things he's done, that wouldn't benefit him at all in the slightest.
She could only wish for this to be true.)
And yet, while the distrust remained, part of Lumine genuinely hoped that the seed of hatred between them never grew. That, perhaps, one day he would join her in her journey to find her brother, the two of them fighting side by side as equals.
Since when had she become so hopeful like this, she wondered. Was it because of the hope she held onto in her search for her brother? Was it something that she had learned from her friends in Mondstadt? In Liyue?
She wasn't quite sure, nor would she ever be.
The day she had seen the cheerful, teasing Childe don his Fatui mask and transform into something much more destructive than anything she had encountered thus far, the fear inside her had become difficult to ignore. Like water filling up in a glass, so too did the dread - the feeling of apprehension at losing someone she didn't quite expect to be so important to her - began to rise.
She could only hope that it wouldn't eventually overflow.
The next time she sees Childe, she strains to keep herself composed.
With Teucer's admiration and respect for his brother at stake, Lumine knew she had to be amicable. Even without the Harbinger reminding her, she knows how important family is; sometimes there are some things to be done to protect the people you love, no matter what it takes.
(For a brief second she thinks about Aether, how he would react upon seeing her - telling her how much and how little she's changed at the same time. She wonders if Aether even remembers her at all, but pushes the thought deep into the back of her mind.
Instead, she follows Childe's requests and takes the little boy around Liyue, asking nothing in return.)
When they're confronted by a horde of Ruin Guards, it doesn't escape Lumine that her grip on her sword is tighter than usual when Childe - no, Tartaglia transforms once more to defeat the robotic monsters in one swoop.
Even as she finds his exhausted form at the corner of the chamber, her hands tremble too much that she hides them behind her back as he talks to her.
(For a split second, she recalls Diluc's story that one night in the tavern when he had uncharacteristically had too much to drink. He tells her what he knew about Delusions; how it controlled his father and killed him. He tells her that maybe it was him who killed his father in the end, but the details didn't matter anyway.)
She doesn't miss the way Paimon subtly takes one of her shaking hands in her tiny ones to soothe her.
She also doesn't miss the expression on Childe's face when he notices.
He smiles at her remark about defeating him right then and there, and perhaps - in a different time - there would be a spark of excitement in his eyes at her words, a confident smirk at the invitation for a challenge. This time, however, there is only grief.
Maybe, then, he was just as afraid to lose her too.
In a not-so-distant memory, when times were much simpler, she would find her face heating up at the way he'd gaze at her a tad too long, or tease her about the perfect difference in their height. Whenever he'd put an arm around her, she wishes that her clothes didn't expose so much the way her skin flushed at his touch.
(He tells her one autumn night, after having included himself as a temporary companion. "I'm not sure if I should feel fortunate to have met you, ojou-chan."
The feel of the grass beneath them is cool as they lay in their make-shift campsite, Paimon snoring softly as the two of them are huddled near the campfire. In search of company rather than warmth. His words catch Lumine off guard that she almost places her hand in the flame. She scolds him for the potential burn, but says nothing else in response.
He apologizes and laughs softly, the red of the flame a stark contrast as they reflect into the blue of his eyes.
Then, "If we had met earlier, would things have been different?" There's a tinge of sadness to his tone. He doesn't hide the fact that his words bother him just as much as it does with her; as if he had also thought about this before, time and time again.
There's a silence that follows, neither stiffening nor comfortable. She knows he doesn't expect an answer; the pointlessness of wanting to change the past is something they had learned to accept long ago.
When he touches her hand hesitantly, her breath hitches. As he laces their fingers together, Lumine doesn't think of anything. She doesn't think about how perfectly their hands fit, nor the heat that's slowly spreading from her chest, keeping her warmer than any fire could.
She doesn't think. Instead, she keeps her grasp firm, thinking she would lose him like this if she let him go.
But no matter how tightly she holds on, they already know how this will end.)
Now, she steps back apprehensively as he places a hand on his head, the sound of his labored breathing ringing her ears.
It is then that she thinks that this world is such a cruel one. Maybe the cruelest world she's ever come to explore.
What kind of world brings two souls together, only to make them oppose in the end? What purpose does it serve other than to cause discord and pain?
Lumine doesn't believe in praying to the gods, but just this one time she prays. She prays to the gods of the other worlds, to Zhongli and Venti and all the Archons she knows, that the next time they do meet, they will no longer have to fight to the brink of death.
For the first time, Lumine regrets being a warrior.
On nights where her sleep is filled with dreams of her brother, Lumine always finds herself wishing she wouldn't have to wake up.
She forgets the details most of the time, but when sleep takes over her once more there are snippets of memories of her twin. In each of them, she recalls Aether's goofy smile, laughing with her over something stupid that almost cost them their lives.
Sometimes, on days when she misses her brother more than usual, her dreams are about finding him after all the clues tell her where to go. She dreams of him standing in a field of flowers she doesn't recognize, bright and warm like the sun. In some instances, he turns to face her at the sound of her voice calling his name; in others, it's him who calls out to her.
In a matter of seconds, she finds herself carried by the wind as her feet run faster than she thought she could. She embraces him tightly, tears streaming on her face as her twin comforts her, the echo of his laughter filling her heart with content as she finally, finally has found her only family once more.
But some days, her dreams are not kind.
Lumine finds herself in that same large chamber, the floor glistening as piles of gold are scattered throughout. She remembers the golden statue of a dragon, majestic and dignified, a looming figure that seems to guard the possessions within this hollow room.
It's that same fight again, but it never ends the way she knows it did. Sometimes, he takes it a step too far, the thrill and amusement rushing into his veins, and his blades pierce through her. She succumbs to the darkness, his horrified voice the last thing that fills her ears as realization strikes him in turn.
Sometimes, she's the one who makes a mistake, her sword slicing him just enough to make him drop onto his knees, blood seeping through his clothes. She rushes up to him, her face stricken with tears. She tries to press against his wound as she cradles his head, trying to stop the bleeding.
But she can't, not because she doesn't know how, but because it's far too late. In the end, Childe embraces her, the irony of the slain comforting the slayer not lost on them.
"Nice fight, ojou-chan."
Every time she dreams of him she wakes up with a start, the night's dream already forgotten as she wonders why she had been crying in the first place.
Today she dreams of nothing but darkness.
Lumine struggles to open her eyes, a sharp contrast from her usual alert self when camped out in the fields of Mondstadt. Her entire body is sore and heavy, as if she had been trampled by a thousand geo slimes. When her vision clears, she finds herself in a dimly lit room, completely unfamiliar to her. There are faint hints of something sweet, like one of the essential oils Ying'er had taught her how to make.
It's a comforting scent, but it does nothing to quell the panic rising from the unfamiliarity of her situation.
A sharp sting on her stomach causes her to yelp in pain after attempting to heave herself up too quickly. Her abdomen, she realizes, had been wrapped, and her clothes had been swapped for something looser.
What the hell happened?
Almost immediately she finds her answer when a groan to her side snaps her from her thoughts, initial confusion quickly turning to shock as she spots a familiar mop of ginger hair by the bedside, fast asleep.
"Childe," she says, stiffening when her voice comes out so hoarsely that it sounds like a strained whisper.
Her mind is then flooded with memories of what had happened. She had found information on Aether's possible whereabouts leading to Snezhnaya. After having spent so long in the land of freedom and the land of contracts, two places that are lax in their respective rights, she had underestimated just how harsh the cold nation was.
It was reckless, stupid even, for her to not have realized it soon enough, that the Fatui she had encountered back then in the two cities were only cordial because they knew they had no power there. In Snezhnaya, the Fatui did not take too kindly to the traveler whose reputation included defeating a handful of their people. But she couldn't have given up at that moment, not when she was one step closer to finding Aether at last. It wasn't until she had found her feet frozen to the ground and barely being able to withstand Signora's attacks, that she had realized that she fell into a trap.
She hadn't felt fear then - not when she had almost found herself on the brink of then, nor when Signora had attempted to kill her. But the moment a familiar back had stood in front of her, his bow transforming into a sword with the power of hydro, she paled.
"No!" She cried, her knees buckling together as she forced herself to stand, clutching tightly the bleeding wound on her stomach. "Get away from here, Childe! You're going to die!"
At the sound of his name, he turns to her, a soft smile on his lips. "Didn't I already tell you, ojou-chan, that I'm always getting stronger every day?
"Let me take care of the rest," He pulls his mask to his face, his voice becoming distorted, "I can't lose you now, Lumine."
Had it been a different situation, she would have found his stubbornness admirable, albeit slightly annoying. She would've been horrified at how happy she was that he's taking her side, fighting for her - until she realizes what his actions mean as a traitor to the Fatui.
But she can't stop him any longer; her vision had gone hazy and she's far too tired to fight anymore.
So she ignores that ache in her chest, pushes her fear all the way down until it has crumbled and turned to dust. Let the winds carry her burdens for now.
This time she will trust him, she decides. He will win. He will come out alive.
Just as a bright purple light emits from his form, Lumine collapses, her vision fading to black as the last thing she hears is Paimon calling her name.
The sudden pain snaps her from her thoughts, almost making her want to scream. She slowly, gingerly pushes herself up so that her upper body is at least slightly elevated, ignoring the ache it brings to her muscles.
She watches the sleeping boy beside her.
It's... odd, seeing him like this - seeing him so vulnerable, almost peaceful even. Almost as if their fight in the Golden House never occurred, like he was still just Childe - the strange, cheery boy who saved her from the hands of the Millelith. Childe, who didn't know how to use chopsticks despite eating Liyue cuisine every day, and collected starconch shells whenever he passed by Yaoguang Shoal as the sea would remind him of how far he was from home.
It's funny how he looks so much more like his age now. No mask, his stiff-looking clothes replaced by a plain white shirt. Admittedly, he's always been an attractive face, but the him that's in front of her now looks more handsome than she's ever seen him.
She places her hand on his head, running her fingers through his disheveled hair.
"Childe," her voice is barely above a whisper but it's just enough to rouse him from his sleep. Childe grumbles in response as he lefts his head up, the beginning of a yawn forming on his face -
Until his blue eyes lock with her golden ones, and the initial shock causes him to cough instead.
A pause.
"You're awake," he says.
Lumine nods slowly.
"You're awake," he realizes, his expression softening. "I was afraid you never would."
"Of course," her voice is hoarse but she pays it no mind. Almost as if she hadn't just been at the brink of death, she tells him, "Something like that wouldn't kill me."
Childe is stunned at her words for a second, but in the end, he laughs, his voice full of such mirth and relief that it makes her wish she could just listen to him laugh forever.
"You'll be the death of me one day, ojou-chan," he shakes his head at her stubbornness, feigning an exasperated sigh.
His expression turns somber as he gazes at the wounds and scratches, a memory of the battle that had taken place. "I know you like to face things head-on, but I really hope you don't put yourself in danger next time."
He places a hand on her cheek, his touch so gentle as if he's holding something so fragile in his hands. His voice was so quiet that Lumine almost didn't hear him. "I - We thought you wouldn't come back anymore."
"I'm here," she tells him earnestly, placing her hand above his own and leaning into his touch. "I'm alive."
"There was a moment you weren't," he exhales shakily, closing his eyes briefly to collect himself. "You were gone for a few seconds while I was fighting Signora and I..."
When Paimon had called for her name over and over again, sobbing as no response came, Childe had never felt such rage before. He didn't know if it was because of the mask that magnified his emotions, but he knew that any moment longer and he would have been consumed by the darkness that day.
It was terrifying, realizing just how dangerous he had become when he donned the mask. While he couldn't remember what had gone through his mind as he landed blow after blow, he knew that he was fighting with the intent to kill.
It was only thanks to Paimon calling out for him, telling him that the traveler was still breathing, that he had stopped himself before he could do something he would regret.
"How long have I been asleep?" She changes the subject as she notices his silence.
"Almost a month," is what he tells her. That certainly takes her by surprise. "You weren't breathing for a long time, and even when we tried to heal you it wouldn't work. But then one day you did. You were alive again, and we thought that maybe it was because you were slowly gaining your powers back. Or because you're not from this world."
Childe runs a shaky hand through his hair, "I don't care whether it was the gods' doing or some otherwordly force. I'm just-" he chokes, "I'm just happy you're alive, Lumine."
Maybe it's the way he says her name, so endearing and desperate like she's the tether that's keeping him from breaking down. Or maybe it's the way he looks at her, so full of emotion and relief, a contrast to the amicable yet intimidating facade he kept up for the longest time. But the moment her name escapes his lips, she suddenly finds herself crying.
She couldn't remember how long she'd been in this world, but day after day had always been in an endless cycle of fighting, getting wounded, and having to live through another day without any sliver of knowledge on her brother's whereabouts, or if he was even still alive.
It was difficult to admit, but some days she felt too tired. Lonely.
And yet here he was, risking his life for her sake. Just so she could live another day.
(Maybe it wouldn't hurt her as much anymore to admit that the fear she felt from losing him was because she loved him after all this time.)
"I'm sorry," she sobs, "I'm sorry."
"What for?" He chuckles softly, wiping her tears with his thumb. "You risked your life trying to find your brother this whole time. You've done nothing wrong."
"Your Delusion-" she hiccups, "You risked your life." She wants to tell him so much - about the Delusion, about what Diluc had told her - but she knows that he, of all people, knew the price for that power.
"Hey," with his free hand, Childe intertwines his own with Lumine's. "I told you, I'll do anything for the people I care about. And I'm still alive too, right?"
There's a heavy silence that fills the air as the weight of his words dawn on them both. In the end, she nods, having calmed down. "We're enemies, Childe," she mutters, "you know that as well as I do. So why?" Why did you save me? Why did you betray the people who gave you your power?
"Ever since I met you, I've always wanted to quit the Fatui. Now was just as good a time as any," he tells her, a small smile forming on his lips. "The letter I wrote, the one Teucer told you, I meant what I had said."
He leans into her, their foreheads touching now. If Lumine hadn't felt the flush on her face before, she could surely feel the heat on her cheeks rising.
"When I first arrived in Liyue, I knew I had to fulfill my duties by deceiving the so-called Hero of Mondstadt," he admits, "But I didn't expect that the pretty ojou-chan I met that day practically ruined all my plans, and I had never felt so happy for it. "
In the seconds between his words and him closing the gap to kiss her, all of Lumine's thoughts had melted away. She can hear, rather than feel, the rapid thrumming of her heart as his lips touched hers, hesitant but gentle, like he was giving her an opportunity to push him away.
But she doesn't, nor does she want to. She lets go of his hand to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him in deeper as she desperately chases after his warmth. She hadn't even realized that he was already practically on top of her, arms settled on either side as he tries to keep himself up, until she had pulled away to breathe.
She looks up at Childe, and she feels as if a fire had been lit inside of her when she notices the way his ocean blue eyes seemed to sparkle, his look all too endearing and boyish with his goofy grin.
Lumine couldn't help but giggle, and the sound of her voice filling the room was more than a delight to Childe's ears.
"You'll seriously be the death of me," Child muses, his expression anything but upset.
"Is that a challenge?" Lumine teases, and just as he was about to lean in to kiss her once more, a loud cough causes them to break apart, Lumine wincing as the pain in her abdomen makes itself apparent again. Childe, who seemed to be more startled than her, stumbles backward, almost causing him to fall to the floor.
Paimon stood - or rather floated - by the door, arms crossed and expression stern. Beside her stood a young girl with a similar set of braided ginger hair and blue eyes, hands covering her mouth in surprise.
"H-hey," Childe stuttered nervously, "T-Tonia, I thought you guys were still asleep."
"We just finished preparing breakfast, Paimon taught me how to cook some dishes from Mondstadt," the girl replied, looking between her brother and the traveler with a gleeful smile, "I'll bring in the food later." She turns to leave before Childe could stop her and say anything else.
At that he sighs, knowing that his sister would most likely tell their older siblings about what just happened. "I'm so screwed."
"You're already in trouble, mister!" Paimon yells as she rushes up to him, punching his arm repeatedly to no effect. "Taking advantage of Lumine when she finally woke up!" The fairy huffed, "And I wasn't even the one who got to see her first."
"Sorry," Childe raised his hands in defeat, sounding unapologetic. Lumine couldn't help but laugh silently at the exchange.
"You'll be hearing a lot from me later, you... you former Fatui!" Paimon exclaimed lamely before turning to her companion and hugging her. "I'm just glad you're awake now Lumine! You've missed out on so much and it's been boring here since Mr. Moneybags here became all sulky and gloomy."
"Hey!" Childe's face turns a light pink, and it makes Lumine's heart flutter.
"I have so many stories to tell you, though! And Tonia's taught me a lot of Snezhnayan dishes to make too!" She floats around excitedly, wiggling her tiny legs. "Once you're all better we'll teach you how so we can make them all!"
Lumine giggles at the fairy's comical expressions. "Of course, Paimon."
A little while later, as Paimon retells the events of what had gone down with Signora up until Childe's attempts to save her, much to the boy's chagrin, Tonia arrives once more, a tray of food in hand.
"Onee-san?" From behind the young girl peeked out a little boy.
"Teucer!"
The boy practically beams upon seeing her, running up to hug her before Tonia catches him by the shoulder.
"Careful, Teucer," Childe tells his younger brother, "Onee-san's still wounded so she might get hurt."
Teucer frowns, "Sorry," he says earnestly. "But that means you'll be staying with us still right?"
Well, it's not as if she could move much right now, and given how long she'd been asleep she's probably too weak to even stand.
The prospect of having to train again once she's recovered is dreadful, but she knows it'll be easy.
She is, of course, a warrior at heart. A warrior with flaws, but a warrior nonetheless.
"Of course," is what she tells the little boy, a small smile painting her face as she turns to Childe, "Only if your brother is fine with it."
Teucer looks at his brother expectantly, clearly making an attempt to get him to agree with his sad expression, "We can't kick them out when onee-san is hurt!"
Childe ruffles his hair, grinning widely, "Don't worry, Teucer, onee-san can stay with us. Besides, I'll be there to protect her even after she's recovered, even if she doesn't want me to."
Lumine's heart almost stops, "You mean..."
"Well who's going to watch over you so you don't dive right into danger again," he reaches for her hand, squeezing it lightly, "But I guess I won't be of help since I'd probably do the same thing."
There's a glint to his eyes that Lumine's never seen before. A look that's akin to the way her eyes light up when her adventure takes her somewhere breathtaking; a desire to explore the unknown world. Even as the promise remains unsaid, she doesn't need him to say it for her to understand.
No matter where in Teyvat you end up, I'll be there with you.
From beside her, Paimon grumbles about something along the lines of not being informed of his plans to join them, but doesn't same to make any objection to the idea anyway. Almost as if she had expected this to happen.
But Lumine, well - it makes her ecstatic. "As long as you're not afraid to get your butt kicked by slimes every now and then."
At that, he smirks. "I told you, ojou-chan, I'm stronger than you think. Stronger than when we last fought."
And of course, of course he is. She knows that better than anyone. She used to fear it before - that form of his that made him too powerful for his own good, hoping that one day he wouldn't end up the same way others did before him.
And while part of her is still afraid of many, many things, she knows now that he's here again, he's safe, and he's still the same person she had met that fateful day in Liyue.
She imagines for a moment how Aether would react at her having reached this far in her adventure to find him. It's still a long way to go, she thinks. But she swears upon herself that she will see brother even if it takes her exploring all of Teyvat, and when the twins finally meet everything will be right in the world once more.
But for now, between watching Paimon's relief over her recovery, Teucer's excited face, Tonia's kind smile -
And the warmth of Childe's hand keeping her firm, it's more than enough.