Work Text:
“Ethan… psst… Ethan.” Ethan grimaced as he heard a whisper right next to his ear, waking him up from his sleep. He sighed, shifting slightly on the bed. He was so tired...but a repetitive poking to his side woke him up quickly. “Ethannnnnnn” Ethan forced his tired eyes open to see Mark, the source of the pokes and the harsh whispers.
“Mark, come on man.” Ethan said, rolling over on the bed so he couldn’t see Mark’s stupid excited face. “I was sleeping.”
“Yeah, and now you’re awake,” Mark retorted before poking Ethan again. “And it’s my turn to be the grown-up.”
Ethan opened his eyes and rolled back over to face Mark. “Your turn to be the grown-up?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. It was too early for Mark’s shenanigans.
“Exactly. You were little with Amy yesterday. So now it’s my turn today.” Mark said, and Ethan started laughing. “What, what’s so funny?” Mark asked, crossing his arms and pouting a bit.
“If only it was that easy, dude. Sorry to disappoint but I’m not in a mood to be little today.” Ethan laughed harder as Mark’s pout deepened. “I’m sorry Big Papa,” Ethan said, reaching out his hand to pat Mark’s arm.
“Don’t touch me.” Mark said, shifting away from Ethan. He purposefully ignored the hurt look in Ethan’s eyes and walked out of the bedroom without another word. After a second, he returned to the doorway to mumble, “I made pancakes. Come get them when you’re ready, dumb butt.”
Ethan smiled at Mark’s name-calling, knowing Mark wasn’t actually upset with him since he offered pancakes. However, he was concerned by how off Mark was acting. He clearly was upset, though Ethan couldn’t think of why. He shrugged. It was too early to have any coherent thoughts about his friend’s mood, especially Mark’s.
*later*
“Ethan!” Mark said, sliding next to Ethan’s desk in their editing room.
Ethan slid his headphones off his head, startled from the sudden entrance. “Yes? Can I help you?” In response, Mark set a bowl of ice cream on the table. “Uh… cookie dough ice cream?” Ethan said, “Yeah, that’s...cool I guess.”
“I brought it up for you.” Mark said, setting down a spoon into the bowl.
“Uh...thanks Mark.” Ethan said, eyeing his friend suspiciously before he took a bite of the ice cream. Honestly, this kind was way better than the one they ate in the Unus Annus video.
“How are you feeling?” Mark responded, choosing to ignore Ethan’s confused face. “Any...smaller?”
“God, really? Are you still on this?” Ethan asked, sighing as he realized Mark’s intentions. “I’m not feeling small today dude, I’m sorry. And it’s not my fault you weren’t around yesterday when I was feeling small, okay?”
Mark pouted, choosing not to respond and instead leaving his friend alone in the editing room.
A few minutes later, as Ethan was taking his last bite of the ice cream, Amy walked in. “Hey.” She said, glancing at the empty bowl and back to her friend. “I heard Mark is pouting and acting weirder than usual.”
Ethan dropped his spoon back in the bowl. “Yes! And I have no idea why.” He said, meeting Amy’s gaze. She raised her eyebrow at him and he ran his hand through his hair, feeling a little anxious. “Okay, I maybe have some idea why. But I don’t know why me being in headspace with you yesterday would piss him off. You both are caregivers for me; we agreed on that a while ago, and he’s never acted like this before.”
Amy hummed thoughtfully before grabbing a rolly chair and sliding next to Ethan. “You’re right, Mark, you, and I have agreed on this shared caregiver-little relationship.”
“We also agreed we’d let each other know if something needed to change, and we have in the past and been able to talk things out civilly.” Ethan said, letting out a frustrated sigh. “And clearly something is wrong now, but he’s not talking about it.”
“Mark is acting very childish for someone who wants to be a grown-up, huh?” Amy said, agreeing with Ethan. “And he should definitely be communicating with us about it. But let me ask you this: how do you feel when it’s been a few weeks since you’ve been in headspace?”
Ethan scrunched up his eyebrows, then said, “I don’t know, usually pretty overwhelmed and sad. I get frustrated with myself and with my friends, which isn’t very fair.” He thought for a second more, then a look of realization came over his face. “Is it the same for you guys?”
Amy laughed at his surprised outburst. “I can only speak for myself, but I can say I enjoy being in a caregiver headspace fairly regularly. And I know it’s been about a month since Mark has been able to take care of you while you’re regressed.” She leaned in, a conspiratory grin on his face. “He won’t admit it, but I’m betting he’s jealous on top of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.”
Ethan smiled, but his grin quickly fell as he remembered Mark’s pouting earlier. “I wish I could just get into headspace for him, but I have so much work to do, and I was just in headspace yesterday. I don’t really feel a need to be little.”
Amy placed her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t force it, Eef. And don’t feel guilty about not feeling up to being little today either. It’s your headspace and it’ll happen when you’re ready for it. I’m just letting you know, the way Mark is acting is not your fault.” She gave him a soft smile. “I’ll go and talk to him, okay? But expect an extra-caring adult when you finally are ready for headspace.”
Ethan thanked Amy, then turned back to his computer, but he didn’t jump back into his work yet. He remembered how sad Mark looked. Maybe...he couldn’t be little today, but maybe he could get extra work done tonight to have time tomorrow. He smiled as a plan formed, and put his headphones back on, more determined to finish his work.
*that night*
Mark looked upstairs, hearing Ethan shout angrily for the third time in a couple minutes. He and Amy were in the middle of the new animated Grinch, cuddling on the couch. Although it wasn’t near as good as Jim Carrey’s, Mark had to admit he was enjoying it. However, he was concerned by the fact that Ethan refused dinner and was now clearly upset about something upstairs.
“Go get him.” Amy said. Mark looked down at her, and she smiled. “I can tell you’re worried, go check on him. See if you can’t talk him into joining us down here.”
Mark sat up and Amy removed her arm from his shoulders and watched him run up the stairs. She hoped he could take care of Ethan; it would help them both.
Mark paused outside the door of the editing room, hesitating, although a quiet groan from Ethan summoned him in. “Hey, how’s it going?” He asked as he walked in. In response, Ethan, sighed, gesturing to the black screen. “Oh, Ethan…”
“I was in the middle of sending my semi-edited videos to Justin to finish editing when Box froze. I tried to restart the program, and the whole computer crashed. When I tried to turn it back on the files were gone.” Ethan’s voice cracked as he said that last word. He was so frustrated and tired. He wanted to finish things early to have a day to spend little and now…
“Ethan, are you with me?” Mark placed his hand on Ethan’s shoulder and his friend abruptly jolted, snapping back into the moment.
“Sorry...I just…” Ethan sighed, rubbing his hand across his eyes. He didn’t need to tear up over this; that would be stupid.
“Hey, bud, it’s alright. That’s really frustrating.” Mark said. Ethan mumbled something, and Mark squeezed his friend’s shoulder, asking, “Could you repeat that?”
“I wanted to surprise you.” Ethan said. “I was getting work done so I could be little for you tomorrow.”
Mark smiled softly. “Now that’s a very nice thing to do Eef, but you don’t have to do that.”
“Yeah I do, Amy said you were pouty earlier ‘cause you needed headspace too.” Ethan said, crossing his arms as if to prove his point.
“Did she now?” Mark said, watching Ethan’s body language. He could tell the boy was close to slipping into headspace as he raised the pitch of his voice.
“Yeah. She told me so, and she’s the smartest.”
Mark laughed as Ethan said that. “That is true. What else did she tell you?”
“That you being pouty earlier wasn’t my fault.” Ethan sighed, meeting Mark’s eyes. “But I wanted to help anyway.”
“Well that is very big of you Eef,” Mark said, crouching down to get on Ethan’s level. “But I think you’ve done more than enough work today. Why don’t you join Amy and I downstairs?”
“But I gotta get this over to Justin,” Ethan whined, fiddling with his sleeves.
Mark hummed, gently grabbing both of Ethan’s hands. “I think Justin already has a couple videos he can put out. You played Among Us a couple nights ago, remember? And I’m sure you have other things you’ve sent him.”
“...yeah.” Ethan admitted.
“Then come join us, little guy. We can get you some food, and you can watch the Grinch with us.” Ethan outright whined at Mark’s words, feeling himself trip right into headspace. Mark grinned, saying, “Come on, bub.”
Ethan watched as Mark stood up and grabbed the hand Mark offered him. He didn’t let go, choosing to hold his hand as they made their way down the stairs into the living room. Amy was sitting on the couch, light from the paused movie screen reflecting on her face. “Hello boys.” She said with a smile.
Ethan mumbled a greeting; he was practically putting his whole weight on Amy’s boyfriend at this point. “This little man is ready for some food and a movie.” Mark said, picking Ethan up now that they reached the bottom of the stairs.
“Mac & Cheese is in the fridge in the blue tupperware.” Amy reminded. “I’ll restart the movie if you want to get him some food.” She heard Mark grunt in reply before he disappeared into the kitchen, a clingy monkey in his arms. After a minute, she yelled, “And don’t forget his blue sippy cup; it should still be in the dishwasher.”
A few minutes later, Ethan was settled on Mark’s lap on the couch, eyes fixed to the TV. He was ignoring his food and milk altogether, too focused on the show to pay attention to eating. He felt Mark nudge him, and he turned to look at him for a second before facing the TV again.
“You need to eat something, Eef.” Mark said softly.
“Wanna watch.” Ethan whined. “Gotta focus.” Ethan heard Mark sigh, and after a minute a spoonful of Mac & Cheese was in front of his mouth. He turned to look at Mark.
“Is this okay?” Mark asked, “I know you want to focus on the movie, so I can feed you. Or, we can pause the movie and you can feed yourself.”
Ethan thought for a second, then nodded. “Feed me, please.” He said. Mark placed the spoon back in front of his mouth again and he took a bite, chewing happily, and focused back on the movie. It was...surprisingly relaxing to not have to worry about feeding himself. He leaned back into Mark’s arms, opening his mouth wide for another spoonful. He grabbed his sippy cup to take a big drink and fell into a rhythm of eating until the food was gone.
“Thanks Papa.” Ethan said. He felt Mark seize up.
“Papa?” Mark asked, making sure he heard his friend right.
“Yeah, you’re my big papa.” Ethan said. Amy laughed at Mark’s astonished face.
“Does that make me your big mama?” Amy asked, and Ethan shook his head.
“No, that’s silly.” He looked at Amy. “You don’t have a big name yet.”
“Oh, okay.” Amy said with a barely concealed laugh. “Let me know when you give me one.”
Ethan nodded distractedly, his focus back on the movie. Amy turned to face her boyfriend, laughing at the still shocked look on his face. “What are you thinking about, big papa?” She asked.
Mark looked suspiciously close to tears and he cleared his throat. “Nothing, nothing, just uh… making sure Bubba is doing okay. Are you alright, Ethan?”
“I’m fine papa.” Ethan said, causing Mark to scrunch his face up again.
“Good, that’s good.” Mark said. He glared at Amy when she snickered at him on the couch. “You’re just jealous I have a cool nickname and you don’t.”
“Shhhh.” Ethan said, reaching up to place his hand over Mark’s mouth. “The reindeer just found his family.” He felt Mark lick his hand and he quickly pulled his hand away. “Grossssssss.” He said. “Amy, tell him he’s gross.”
“Mark, no licking during the movie.” Amy said, “Eef is trying to watch.”
Mark huffed, but settled back down, wrapping his arms around the small boy. “Fine.” He said, pouting yet again, but this time it was a joke.
When the credits rolled on the screen, Ethan looked over to see Amy and Mark fast asleep. “Oh, bedtime.” He said softly, then tried to slip out of Mark’s arms, but he tightened his hold.
“What’s up, big boy?” Mark asked Ethan tiredly.
“Gonna go get jammies.” Ethan responded, sticking a couple fingers in his mouth.
“You want some help?” After a moment, Ethan nodded, and Mark stood up, setting Ethan on his feet and grabbing his hand as they made their way upstairs.
Mark made quick work of getting his little guy some pajamas, grabbing some soft racoon pajama bottoms and one of his Cloak shirts for Ethan to change into. He and Ethan brushed their teeth, and Ethan even remembered to floss his teeth with the dinosaur flossers they had in the drawer.
Ethan held his arms up and Mark picked him up and carried him into his and Amy’s room, setting him on the bed. “Get comfy, little guy, I’m going to go grab Amy.” Mark grabbed Ethan’s pacifier from the nightstand drawer and handed it to Ethan before walking back downstairs.
When Mark got back up with Amy at his side, Ethan was sucking on the binky, lying on his back in the middle of the bed. “Sleepover?” Ethan asked around his paci.
“Yeah bud, we’re doing a sleepover tonight.” Amy said, laying down next to him. Mark joined them on the bed, settling on Ethan’s other side.
“Tired.” Ethan said with a big yawn.
“I can tell,” Mark said softly, and after a moment asked, “Do you want a song before bed?” Ethan nodded vigorously.
He fell asleep with two arms around him and Mark’s deep voice singing “Imagine” in his ear.