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“Jiang Cheng,” a soft voice calls from next to him.
Jiang Cheng tears his eyes away from the manga and looks up, meeting with a familiar pair of gold eyes.
“XiChen,” Jiang Cheng greets right back with a small smile.
“I’ve told you to call me by my birth name, Jiang Cheng,” XiChen playfully pouts as he slips into the empty seat in front of Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes but doesn’t make a comment on that request. After all, only family and very, very close friends call each other by their birth names.
“I call you by your birth name,” XiChen continues, as though he heard Jiang Cheng’s thoughts.
“That’s because you’re older than me, XiChen,” Jiang Cheng scoffs. “Of course, you can call me by my birth name.”
XiChen continues to pout but Jiang Cheng ignores it in favour of going back to his manga. XiChen takes the time to observe the youth in front of him. It hasn’t been long since they’ve first met and become acquainted with each other. They already knew one another through their brothers and the occasional family dinners though they’ve never taken the time to be properly acquainted then. XiChen had gone to the neighbourhood library for WangJi to return an overdue book since his brother was occupied by one named Wei.
XiChen had gone to pay the overdue fees when he saw Jiang Cheng. It wasn’t particularly romantic or “love at first sight” or anything. But he couldn’t help but be enamoured at how Jiang Cheng’s face would change every so often to reflect how he’s reacting to the passage he’s reading. Curious, XiChen had approached Jiang Cheng on a whim and asked what he was reading. From there, he’d been dragged into the world of romance books and movies and other media.
“What are you looking at?” Jiang Cheng’s brash voice jolts XiChen into reality.
“I was just thinking how your smile is shining brighter than the light from the window behind you,” XiChen says with a smile.
Jiang Cheng hums and nods.
“You’re getting better but you’re not there yet,” he says while putting down the manga he was reading.
“Not even a flutter?”
“Nope,” Jiang Cheng ruthlessly shuts down the hope in XiChen’s heart as he turns away to search within the pile of books he has next to him.
Before long, he’s found what he needs and passes it to XiChen.
“This is?”
“This, XiChen,” Jiang Cheng taps on the book. “Is one of the best mangas out there. I started getting into it by reading this one and a few others.”
“‘Tell Me You Love Me’,” XiChen reads the title. “Sounds cute.”
“It is, by far, one of the more realistic romance mangas,” Jiang Cheng explains proudly. “It has quite subtle dark themes hidden here and there but it doesn’t have the overly cute and overflowing flowery theme to it that other mangas do.”
“And this will help me with my flirting?”
Jiang Cheng snorts.
“It’ll teach you how to have better taste in romantic expectations at least.”
XiChen can’t bring it in himself to feel offended. Not with that beautiful smile of Jiang Cheng’s.
xox o xox
“Brother?”
XiChen blinks up, staring blankly into a pair of mirrored eyes.
“WangJi,” XiChen greets him.
“What is brother doing here?” WangJi asks.
XiChen automatically glances down at the manga Jiang Cheng has given to him just a few days before looking up at WangJi.
“Romance?” WangJi frowns.
XiChen blinks at him, unsure of how to reply.
“When has brother started reading romance?” WangJi continues to frown. “Brother said that romance was a mere fantasy, an impossibility that the human mind creates an illusion to the ideals people hold for love.”
XiChen’s gaze falls back onto the manga, his hands automatically slotting a bookmark into the page before closing the book.
“Has brother taken a liking to romance?”
“WangJi…” XiChen sighs. “I… I don’t think my view of romance has changed. I still think it’s a mere illusion, one the makes a person delusional, blinded by the web of lies one’s ideals create.”
“Brother…”
XiChen shakes his head.
“I’ve learnt to appreciate these books though. They are quite amusing to read. It’s quite a wonder how people have perceived romance as in contrast to real life, though.”
“Brother.”
“I know, WangJi. I think I’ll stay here awhile if you want to go home first.”
“Brother!”
WangJi’s frustrated voice finally snaps XiChen out of his trance. The anguish on WangJi’s face makes XiChen’s gut churn.
“WangJi? Is something wrong?”
“WanYin,” WangJi says while pointing behind XiChen.
XiChen looks behind him and only then, does he understand the pained expression on WangJi’s face.
“Jiang Cheng…”
Jiang Cheng stands next to the bookcases, knuckles white from the tight hold he has on the book in his hands. The scowl on his face is one XiChen has yet to experience. One of anguish and betrayal. But what hurts more than the distrust on Jiang Cheng’s face, the betrayed expression in those beautiful grey eyes, is the streaming tears that continue to run, ignored, never-ending, permanent.
Jiang Cheng drops the book and turns away, shoulders drooped in resignation, lonely back.
“Jiang Cheng—”
“Don’t,” Jiang Cheng’s cold voice cuts him off. “Just—... Just leave me alone, Lan XiChen.”
“Jiang Cheng, I—”
“I appreciate your company for the past few days, Lan XiChen. But if that is all, I will be on my way,” Jiang Cheng coldly shuts him off before leaving the library.
“Wait! Jiang Cheng—!”
The last thing XiChen sees before his whole world turns dull and dark is Jiang Cheng’s shaking shoulders as he forces himself to cry soundlessly. And that breaks XiChen’s heart more than he’d like to admit.
xox o xox
“Brother.”
WangJi’s concerned voice flits over to where XiChen hides under the thick bundle of blankets on the centre of the bed. XiChen doesn’t move when he hears WangJi step closer to the bed, a few seconds of rustling clothes signalling WangJi kneeling by the side of the bed.
“Brother,” WangJi repeats again, now with more urgency.
“WangJi,” comes the muffled reply deep under the blankets. “Is there something you require, WangJi?”
“When is brother apologising to WanYin?” WangJi asks with a petulant pout that XiChen can undoubtedly envision on his brother’s face.
“I apologise, WangJi, but I hope our fallout hasn’t impacted your friendship with Jiang WanYin,” XiChen says as pokes his head out the roll of blankets he’s buried in.
WangJi’s frown deepens.
“Misunderstanding.”
“Hmm?”
WangJi doesn’t explain further but stands to exit XiChen’s room. XiChen sighs as WangJi exits his line of vision and contemplates of various ways how to meet Jiang Cheng long enough to negotiate on WangJi’s friendships. He’s startled out of his thoughts when WangJi storms back into his room and kneels by the same spot with a heavy thud.
“WangJi?”
Said Lan doesn’t say anything and instead heaves a number of books right by XiChen’s face, precariously close to his nose.
“Apologise.”
XiChen sits up, shedding the layers of blankets off as he stares between WangJi and the books he’d brought.
“I apologise… for desecrating romance books?” XiChen says hesitantly.
“No,” WangJi’s frown deepens. “To WanYin.”
XiChen looks back at the books and then again at WangJi.
“You… want me… to apologise to Jiang WanYin… by using these books?” XiChen asks slowly.
WangJi’s face brightens slightly when XiChen finally gets his intentions and nods enthusiastically. He slides the books closer to XiChen before standing.
“Tomorrow. Apologise to WanYin, brother,” WangJi says with a departing smile before he walks—skips?—out of XiChen’s room, shutting the door to give XiChen some privacy.
XiChen stares dumbfoundedly at the door for a while longer and looks down at the books. He sighs and readjusts his position on the bed so he’s sitting more comfortably before taking the first book from the pile and reading it.
xox o xox
“Jiang Cheng.”
Jiang Cheng turns away from the impressive collection on the bookshelves to be met with XiChen. He can’t help but check XiChen out with how formal the other is dressed. XiChen dons an immaculate white suit with a pale blue vest under and a matching tie. His short hair has been slicked back and even his shoes have been polished and shined from dirt.
“What’s the occasion?” Jiang Cheng can’t help but ask.
XiChen clears his throat.
“For you, my love, a bouquet in greeting and to apologise for when we met previously,” XiChen says, producing a bouquet of white orchids from behind him. “Though I must say, these white orchids pale in comparison to the beauty of which you bewitch me so.”
Jiang Cheng can’t help but take a step back in shock. What is XiChen going off about? First, he dresses like he’s about to the most important business meeting of his life and then, he starts talking about Jiang Cheng’s beauty?
“Lan XiChen, what are you harping off about?” Jiang Cheng scowls at him.
XiChen takes no offence to that and merely steps closer to Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng takes a step back, feeling intimidated.
“XiChen?”
“The words, overflowing with admirable passion, does not fail to capture my attention whenever you speak,” XiChen continues without care. “Your honest expressions are like a breath of fresh air in this world spun of lies and illusions.”
“XiChen, what the fuck?” Jiang Cheng interrupts with a scowl. “Can you fucking stop that?”
“Jiang Cheng, if you ask me to stop, I can only abide because you strongly wish for it so,” XiChen merely says, taking another step forward and Jiang Cheng mirrors that for another backwards. “Do you wish for me to stop because you do not like it, my love?”
Jiang Cheng can feel himself turning impatient.
“The fuck is wrong with you?!”
“Nothing is wrong, Jiang Cheng,” XiChen tilts his head. “Can’t I appreciate your beauty?”
Jiang Cheng reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose in an effort to ease the growing headache.
“XiChen, you said that romanticising is a delusion, one created by a person for a reality that suits their ideals,” Jiang Cheng grits out. “What has changed since then? Weeks of hanging out never changed your views about romance. I doubt a few days of staying at home can do anything.”
XiChen sighs.
“Is it so hard to believe in my intentions, Jiang Cheng?” XiChen asks, looking pleadingly into Jiang Cheng’s defiant eyes.
“It is when you’ve clearly stated where you stood about romance,” Jiang Cheng snaps. “You’ve made clear of your opinions. And clearly, even if your intentions towards me are real, they could never triumph over what you really thought.”
XiChen sighs and steps away from Jiang Cheng.
“You’re right, and I do apologise for my misconduct then, Jiang Cheng,” XiChen says. “But please, believe me when I say I do love you.”
Jiang Cheng can’t help but laugh at that.
“Do you? Lan XiChen, the man who says that romance is delusional, says that he loves me?” he dramatically gasps. “What are you going to say next? That you fell in love with me at first sight? That the world suddenly turned brighter and colourful? That somehow you have a new purpose in life? Hmm?”
“Jiang Cheng…”
“If the reason why you’ve invited me over is to mock me of my hobbies and interests, I will ask that I be allowed to leave.”
“No, Jiang Cheng, please listen to me,” XiChen grabs onto Jiang CHeng’s wrist in desperation. “I sincerely apologise for my offending remarks and you’re not obligated to believe me. But I ask that you at least allow me to explain.”
“You’re going to say some shit that something happened to someone you care about and then you have a bad opinion about love and romance, won’t you?” Jiang Cheng sneers. “Save me your typical explanations because I won’t feel any pity for you.”
“What will you have me do to earn for forgiveness then, Jiang Cheng?” XiChen asks in a soft voice, resignation heavy in his words.
“Time will only tell, XiChen,” Jiang Cheng says just as softly, anger and impatience leaving him tired and weary. “This isn’t like a manga or a movie where forgiveness can be earned with just a word or a simple action. Time will heal wounds, if you allow it to.”
“Are you speaking from experience?” XiChen can’t help but ask.
Jiang Cheng shoots him a grin, small and hesitant, but sincere nonetheless.
“That’s for you to find out. Anyway, you haven’t answered my question.”
“About?”
“What changed your mind.”
“Ah…” XiChen sheepishly rubs his neck. “WangJi came into my room and offloaded a number of his books on my bed and said to apologise to you. I thought I’d apologise for my insincerity my apologising as the character would have in the story.”
Jiang Cheng chuckles.
“Not everything can be as exciting as it is in a book, XiChen. It is no wonder the tricks you learnt weren’t effective, hmm?” Jiang Cheng teases. “As you’ve said, the romance in books are overexaggerated and dramatic for the purpose of our enjoyment. It’s purely fantastical.”
“And yet, you would’ve desired it to be real, wouldn’t you?” XiChen inquires as steps back to give Jiang Cheng some space.
“XiChen,” Jiang Cheng calls softly, tugging on his wrist to come closer. “Fantasies and ideals are meant to be out of reach. It doesn’t matter if I would’ve liked it to be real or not because it’ll never happen. That’s just how ridiculous they are.”
“And if I could make them real?”
Jiang Cheng looks up at him in confusion.
“Why would you do that?”
“Jiang Cheng, my love. Even if it’ll take me shooting down the sun or bringing the moon to earth, I’d do anything to make you happy. Even if it includes making your fantasies into reality,” XiChen declares firmly as he stares resolutely into Jiang Cheng’s surprised eyes. “I don’t doubt that I can show you some tips I’ve learnt from the books WangJi gave me if it’ll fulfil some of those desires right now.”
“What else have you learnt from your binge-reading on romance tips? Other than your shameless flirting,” Jiang Cheng says breathlessly.
XiChen doesn’t say anything but only steps forward, prompting Jiang Cheng to step back. That is, until he feels the bookshelf digging into his back and he has all, but been cornered in by XiChen. Not like he can complain about it. XiChen props an arm right next to Jiang Cheng’s head on the bookshelf and Jiang Cheng can’t help but note how his heart has sped up in anticipation.
“Is staring at me the only trick you’ve learnt?” Jiang Cheng taunts, no longer a confident and snarky tone, but one filled with anticipation and wonder that this is actually happening. “If you don’t do anything, I’m—”
He’s immediately cut off when XIChen’s lips meet his in a desperate dance of dominance. Jiang Cheng’s mouth hands open from being cut-off mid-sentence and he barely holds onto a moan when he feels XiChen’s tongue licking and tasting every crevice of his mouth.
“Xi-XiChen,” Jiang Cheng breathlessly says, dazed, when they finally pull apart.
“I’ve learnt to shut you up, my love. Isn’t that something?” XiChen says with a chuckle.
“You asshole,” Jiang Cheng’s mouth twitches into a small smile. “You hate hearing me talk that much?”
“On the contrary, my love. Your voice puts even the chorus of heaven’s angels to shame,” XiChen shamelessly proclaims as he leans in again, though his lips stop short of contact.
“Oh? And how will kissing help?” Jiang Cheng licks his lips, noting how XiChen’s eyes follow the motion.
“The symphony of noises that you will produce as you come undone for me, my Jiang Cheng.”
“Will you show me how?”
“Gladly.”
XiChen leans in the small distance and they lock lips again. And true to XiChen’s words, he does bring out a myriad of embarrassing noises from Jiang Cheng as they engage in a never-ending dance between their lips and tongue. If they stayed in the library for too long just for kissing, no one has to know of the beautiful waltz they have fallen into rhythm with one another.
After all, romance is but a passionate dance between two delusional people, addicted to the illusion of reality that will stop once it breaks, shattered beyond fixing. But neither Jiang Cheng nor XiChen is opposed with that. Not when their whole world rests right in their arms, just where they want it to be.