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Pansy wasn't aware of how tight she had wound the ribbon around her fingers until they started to turn blue, and then that was only because Neville had pointed it out and was now carefully but quickly removing it. She hadn't been aware of what she was doing while she was fidgeting, not was she really even aware of where the ribbon had come from in the first place, though it could safely be assumed that it had once held her hair back.
Neville didn't say anything as he unwound the ribbon but once it was off of her fingers he took her hand into his and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. Pansy barely heard him say "you need to be more careful" as her heart skipped a beat. The small gesture was enough to make her think that there was still hope for them and it made what she had come here to tell him just that little bit easier.
"Subconscious thing." Pansy said quietly as she took the ribbon back from him and stuffed it into her pocket once Neville had let go of her hand. She managed to divert her eyes from his hand to meet his gaze and then gave him a small smile. She was lucky that he had agreed to see her, let alone invited her into his grandmother's home, but here she was, sat on a sofa next to him, their knees almost but not quite touching. It was enough to send tingles up and down her spine though.
"How - uh - How's Nott?" Neville asked in a way that suggested to Pansy that he was only asking to be polite, but she took it as her way in anyway. She needed to bite the bullet and now was the time to do just that.
"He's good, thanks for asking." Pansy told him, forcing herself to keep her eyes fixed on his and a small smile staying in place on her lips. "I actually just came from his. We weren't going over the contract that he had drawn up. It means that we can see other people while protecting our legacies." She took a slow breath as she geared herself up to to finally confess all to him. "So I can finally say this - Neville. I love you."
Neville stared at her, unblinking, for a short while. "You - what?"
Pansy wished that she could take back her words in that moment. She had been so sure that Neville returned her feelings, she had been so sure that he would have wanted to hear her confession but now that she had done it, she could see that it was in fact a mistake. He had obviously just been concerned that she was being forced into something that she didn't want to do. She had misread the signs and while she knew that that was bound to happen, she couldn't help but feel hurt that now she had laid her feelings out on the table for him to see, he didn't feel the same way.
"It - it doesn't matter." She stuttered out as she stood up, her eyes now on the door that she was going to run out of, if her legs would cooperate and carry her there. Neville caught her wrist before she could get anywhere though and she froze in place. She could feel the tears burning at the backs of her eyes, threatening to fall thick and fast as she stood there. Her brain was screaming at her to pull away from him and get as far away from this house as possible, but she couldn't seem to move at all.
"Pans." Neville's voice was soft and she was vaguely aware of the fact that his fingers were now entwining with hers and that he was now standing in front of her instead of sitting, but she couldn't seem to make herself understand that. "It does matter." His other hand was on her cheek. She could feel his thumb running along her cheek, but she wouldn't make any assumptions about what that meant.
Eventually she managed to draw in a slow breath and pull herself together a little before she made eye contact with him. She hated that he was being so nice to her; didn't he understand that if he wanted to do this in the kindest manner then he should really rip the plaster off quickly.
"Let me go, Neville. Please." She would get down on her knees and beg if she thought it would help, or at least if she could get her body to listen to her, but it would seem that she didn't have any say.
Neville shook his head gently. "I can't do that. Not until I do this." He whispered before he pressed his lips to hers. He'd kissed her before, sure, but never on the lips.
Pansy had never been kissed on the lips before. She hadn't expected for it to feel like this, for her whole body to feel like it would float away if their lips weren't connected. She wound her arms around his neck, trying to press her body as close to his as possible, desperately trying to look for more ties to him and to the world. She could hear the blood rushing to her cheeks and feel the pounding of her heart in her chest. She felt as though she might explode, but she didn't care.
Slowly Neville did however pull away, a soft smile on his lips and one hand still on her cheek, his fingers still running over her skin gently. "Pans. I've always loved you." He told her.
Pansy's eyes widened, much in the same way that his own had before. That was a lot to take in, even if it was what she had hoped for. She hadn't expected him to use the word 'always', as if he had never looked at anyone else. She knew that she had never looked at anyone but him, but that didn't mean that it was true for everyone.
"Me?" She repeated when she could finally speak and it took a lot of strength that she didn't know that she had to stop herself from looking around to see if there was someone else called Pansy maybe hanging out nearby.
"Yes, Pansy. You." Neville's smile was stretching now as if he found her response amusing but was stopping himself from laughing. Pansy wouldn't have blamed him if he did laugh at her though, it was what she would have done if their roles had been reversed.
"I... wow." She whispered before she cleared her throat and straightened up a little. "Theo and I… we've made an arrangement so that we can see whoever we want. There… there are some other things, but I… I want to be with you, Neville." She wanted to tell him that she wanted to be with him forever, but she thought that that might be just a little too forward, especially considering that it had taken her this long to tell him how she felt in the first place.
Neville just kissed her again. Pansy wasn't sure if that meant that he wanted to be with her too but she decided to take it as such and kissed him back, smiling against his lips. She would never get enough of kissing him, she knew that for sure. She was sure that everything else would eventually fall into place.
She knew, as he pulled back and took her hand back into his own, that this was one thing that she would not let anyone including herself for. She needed for this relationship to unravel naturally and she had a feeling that after everything she had inflicted upon Neville that he wanted the same.
He pulled her down onto the sofa with him now, wrapping his arms around her as she dropped down onto his lap and he pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck as she let out a content sigh. She couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash through her - while today hadn't exactly gone the way that she had thought it would, she had finally told Neville how she truly felt about him and what's more was that she had been right about how he felt about her.
Sure, they still had a long road stretched out in front of them. His friends still didn't like her and she was getting married to someone else, but it was okay because they were together and they had each other. There was nothing that they couldn't do as long as they had each other, or at least that was what Pansy believed.
She closed her eyes as she leaned her head against his shoulder. He had always been there for her; even when he had needed to take some time for himself, he had continued to be there for her. She had thought then that she couldn't love him any more, but it seemed that every single day she was mistaken, and she was hoping that he would continue to take her life and the mess that she was now dragging him into in his stride. It certainly seems that he wanted to anyway as he held her so close to him that she felt like he couldn't have let go even if he had wanted to.
And what's more was that Pansy felt safe. Safe wasn't something that she got to feel all that often, but as she took in deep breaths of him, she knew that she could get used to it.