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the colorful artificial sky around jadzia hummed with a certain feeling of peculiar familiarity. of course, it was familiar. the trill sky. but she felt like a different person viewing the same atmosphere. it was always weird for her to look at such comfortingly familiar scenes while feeling as though they were new places entirely, or vice versa.
this was her home, this was where jadzia grew up. but this was also where curzon grew up, where torias grew up, where the next host for dax, wherever they may be, will have grown up.
it was certainly strange to be filled with centuries of memories while only truly feeling a few decades' worth. however, jadzia and dax had both had trouble with that sentiment recently.
lenara khan was on the station. she was conducting a series of scientific tests for her personal theory based on the wormhole that always loomed outside of the windows of jadzia's quarter's windows.
perhaps that was why she was sitting in the holosuite when she should have been sleeping, staring at an unchanging multicolored sky around her to make the ticking of time pass by less painfully. the wormhole had always been a beacon of danger and uncertainty, but the feelings jadzia's chest was flooded with were much more intense than just uncertainty.
every time jadzia laid in bed, every time she turned her head to the window with the bright anomaly just out of reach, her eyes were glazing over with visions of lenara.
jadzia had never met lenara. the women had never never spoken, never looked into each other's eyes, never crossed paths. they met for the first time when lenara stepped off the transport shuttle with her brother. they shook hands, a warm pulse in jadzia's symbiote when the two made eye contact.
why did jadzia feel an aching absence in her abdomen when the two weren't near each other? why did her chest ache and her throat close around her words when she heard lenara was conducting tests without her?
these weren't jadzia's memories to live. that unknown past shouldn't be affecting her as much as it was. she wasn't that timid man anymore, the one who shied away from human contact and refused to listen to his wife only caring for his well-being. she wasn't that man that died because he didn't listen, had he only believed his worrisome wife a little more rather than refusing her help over his carefully-crafted ego. not anymore.
these weren't lenara's memories to live. that unknown past shouldn't be affecting her as much as it was. she wasn't that overly anxious woman anymore, finding her solace in calculations and her husband. she wasn't that woman mourning her husband's death wondering if she had only warned him enough, only helped him with his work a little more rather than burying herself in her own studies. not anymore.
but somehow, it was just like torias and nilani. except better.
jadzia's heart and abdomen pulsed in unison when she pulled lenara into her quarters. the door shut with a whoosh and left the two staring into each other's eyes, their faces inches apart. without hesitation, the taller woman pulled the other into her arms and pressed their lips together. the smaller leaned into the other's frame, her hands desperately clenching at jadzia's shoulders as she pushed into the kiss with a deeper sense of longing.
it had been so long since they did this, and yet it was also their first time.
jadzia's hands traveled down lenara's body as though she had known that figure for centuries. her hands tugged on the other woman's shirt with an unequivocal need and want.
torias and nilani had done things like this before. khan and dax were well-acquainted in their own right. funnily enough, it was the bodies that were new to the experience, only being guided by old knowledge coming from somewhere within them.
it was a weird experience, to have sexual relations with someone while not ever truly being yourself. then again, was this only torias and nilani? or was this jadzia and lenara?
but when lenara left, it felt like it was just jadzia.
just a lonely girl lost in that multicolored sky, the one she'd only seen once, yet she'd known for 8 lives.