Chapter Text
“God, did this feel like this before? I don’t remember it being this bad!” Viktor groaned as he iced his knees after the Banquet for Worlds. Yuuri just smiled sympathetically, not really knowing what to say. “Don’t worry,” Viktor assures Yuuri, “I wouldn’t have traded the first half of this season for anything, I am just starting to feel like the old man Yurio always calls me.” He laughs afterward, but Yuuri is still feeling like he should do something to cheer him up.
“I know just what you need!” Yuuri says as he jumps up from the chair with a sudden idea. “You need a nice hot bath with me while we drink more champagne, afterward I will give you a massage!” He smiles so big that Viktor melts a little.
“That sounds perfect Moye Solntse (my sunshine) and I will never say no to you wanting to rub me,” He tells Yuuri with a wink. Yuuri blushes but goes to fill the tub, and get out the champagne for their wonderfully relaxing bath.
The next morning Viktor is still grumbling about feeling old and it not being like this before, but luckily it doesn’t affect Yuuri’s anxiety at all. It does give him an idea for a skate he can do for Viktor to a song that sums up what Viktor is talking about that he loved from America. So the whole flight back to St. Petersburg Yuuri is jotting down ideas for this skate, even though it doesn’t need to be a true SP his brain is still coming up with ways to make it a proper skate. He won’t use it but it’s amusing to him while he can’t sleep on the plane. He knows they are going to spend a few days home recuperating before taking their vacation to Hasetsu with Makachin in tow, so he decides to flesh out the routine some, and then he will practice at the Ice Castle since he has a key there.
Yuuri works on it in the evenings when Viktor goes to sleep early or out to drink with Minako, and in the mornings or afternoons that Viktor devotes to spending time with his future in-laws or Makachin. Though he is sure Viktor knows something is happening he is also sure Viktor loves surprises too much to spoil one. By the time their 3 weeks of vacation were up he had that routine down pat and had Phichit help him tweak a couple of things over video messages. He is super excited and asks the Russian skaters to help him pull this off as a total surprise. They play a freestyle game where they will give someone a random song and they have to skate to it till the song stops. So he asks them all to play along and suggest his chosen song, and even though none of them have heard of it they agree.
Mila is super excited when they get to the rink for their first day of practice where everyone is back. She immediately shouts “Time for a freestyle game! I have the perfect songs picked out for Viktor and Yuuri!!!” Viktor seems a little surprised that it’s the first thing she has to say to them upon seeing them, but she also starts to hug them immediately after and he seems to let it go.
“Oh man, fine. I get to pick Georgi’s then.” Yurio huffs and rolls his eyes. “But first everyone needs to warm up or Yakov will fucking kill us!”
“OOH! I get to pick Mila’s then!!! I know just the song!” Georgi enthuses, before finishing his stretches and then putting on his skates.
Everyone does a thorough warm-up and gets ready before they head off the ice to let Viktor start his freestyle. When everyone is on the side Mila smirks at him and says “ I figured you could skate to something that sounds perfect to describe your Yuuri.” To which Viktor beams and Yurio gags. She just smirks and says, “Well, this is more about anxiety than Yuuri himself, but it’s still perfect.” Then before anyone can say anything she hits play.
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
Viktor starts a bit late as he recognizes the song but you can see as he skates that Shawn Mendes is saying something he can understand from watching Yuuri. He skates beautifully for a freestyle, but by the end of “In My Blood” he is in tears and trying to hold on long enough to finish.
Yuuri is too, he didn’t realize that the Russians knew about his anxiety disorder. He also didn’t know if Mila realizes it, but that song was the perfect description of Yuuri’s battle with anxiety. He had heard it a while back when Pitchit sent it to him after he heard it on the radio in Detroit shortly after Viktor showed up to coach him. He had been forced to show Viktor when he came to his room to ask a question and found Yuuri bawling with his earbuds in, shortly after the Cup of China. Viktor had never suffered from severe anxiety so he had no idea how it actually felt, but listening to the song made him have a new appreciation of how strong Yuuri was. He told Yuuri so often after that and wanted Yuuri to consider the song for exhibitions if he wasn’t willing to make it his free program in the coming season.
Yuuri hugged Viktor as they both cried and sniffled after listening to a song that meant so much to them and their relationship. Mila just looked on, a little choked up herself, while Georgi sniffled and Yurio tried to pretend he wasn’t affected by the song either. “Well, I guess I picked right after all.” Mila said and then cleared her throat, “Okay, while you try to pull yourselves together Yurio or I can go.”
“I will go Baba.” Yuri huffs, still blinking just a little too fast but back under control after the emotions of the previous song.
“Okay then,” Yuuri sniffles, then straightens and hooks his phone to the speaker and then smiles at Yuri. “This one always makes me think of you these days.” He hits play once Yuri is at center ice, the song begins, Yuri starts to skate, and the others realize Yuuri listens to a lot of American music, but also a lot of types of music too.
It’s just one of those days.
Where you don’t wanna wake up.
Everything is fucked,
Everybody sucks.
As Yuri skates to Limp Bizkit’s “Break Stuff” the others are having to force themselves to watch Yura because they all want to stare at Yuuri. Viktor because it’s very different from any of the American music that Yuuri has played for him so far. Mila and Georgi are impressed because this is so different from the normal stuff they expected Yuuri to listen to, and it’s very different from the song they know he is about to skate to for Viktor, that he said he has loved since his second year in Detroit when he discovered the genre thanks to a rink mate.
Yura finishes the song and skates directly to Yuuri as everyone claps. “What is this song and how in the Hell did a loser like you have this on his phone?!?”
“I started to listen to punk rock and grunge type stuff at the rink in Detroit because several of the American skaters at the rink introduced us to it. I love that song because even though I don’t like violence there are times when that’s sort of how I feel when dealing with people. Mostly news people.” Yuuri admits with a laugh, while everyone tries to process this news he continues. “Also the song is called ‘Break Stuff’ by Limp Bizkit, which is a weird band name but they make music you might enjoy, even if it isn’t metal.” Yuuri smiles when Yuri just nods and gestures to his phone before handing it to Yuuri with YouTube open so Yuuri can pull the song up for him.
“Well I am not sure that I can top that, but Mila dear I think it’s your turn. And I have been waiting for us to freestyle again so that I can give this to you.” Georgi says in a very mischievous way, and he smiles a nearly sinister grin as Mila skates out to the middle after giving him a dirty look. Mila is expecting Georgi to mess with her, but she wasn’t expecting the song that played.
Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven, sin
Yuuri and Viktor start cracking up as Mila starts to skate, as Yuuri loves this song and plays it often around the house as he cleans, so Viktor is very familiar with it too. By the time the song is finished Mila can barely skate to it as she is laughing so hard and so is everyone else as they listen to the words. They are especially on point since Mila’s last boyfriend has tried to convince anyone who would listen that Mila was crazy since she broke his nose and gave him a black eye. The problem is that most of the rink knew he was cheating with a hockey groupie so no one felt bad for him and had been happy enough to tell anyone who asked them, even reporters, that she was understandably upset at being cheated on but they can’t understand what he thinks exaggerating like this will get him.
Mila collapses on the ice in a laughing fit after she finishes, then once she gets control of herself she skates over and high fives Georgi as that was the perfect song for her and was super fun to skate to. “That was awesome! And I might even see if Yakov will let me skate to that next season as a response to Boris and the scandal he tried to start.” She laughs some more, then turns to Yuri. “Okay, I hope you have something good for Georgi since we are all apparently skating songs that are perfect for us or our significant others.”
Yuri rolls his eyes. “Shut up hag, I have a good song, jeez. Go on Georgi, it won’t be any easier to do this on the rinkside floor.” Yuri huffs in typical indignant teenage fashion while Georgi looks a little apprehensive about what Yuri will pick to describe him, but skates out anyways. “Otabek sent me this song with some others he is using for DJ stuff so you can thank him for this.” Is all Yuri says before he hits play.
Can anybody hear me
Or am I talking to myself
My mind is running empty
In the search for someone else
Yuuri’s eyes get big as he recognizes the song, but no one else but Yuri seems to have heard it before. Georgi starts skating to it, but you can tell that he is listening to the words as he starts to falter and cry as he skates. When he is finished he skates over to applause and then grabs Yuri into a hug before he has a chance to get away. “Thank you, that is exactly how I feel these days. I really appreciate it.” He says while still a little choked up.
“Whatever, I just figured ‘Astronaut’ would work,” Yuri says while he squirms out of the hug, but they all know that he did a nice thing intentionally even if he wants to pretend he didn’t.
“Well, I guess that leaves Yuuri to skate to the song I have,” Mila says to let Yuri off the hook from people looking at him after he did something nice. “Since I gave Viktor a song that was sort of about you, I’m giving you one about him,” Mila says and waves Yuuri out to the ice. Yuuri hugs Viktor real quick then skates out to the center. He nods for Mila to start the music after he gets in his starting position, which is Viktor’s first clue that something is different.
Yuuri starts slightly hunched with his head down and to the side, looking like he is rubbing the back of his neck, with a wince on his face as he rubs his knee with his other hand. He then starts a mini step sequence that makes it look like he is stiff and sore but trying to work out the kinks for about 20 seconds before he sort of crouches till it almost looks like he is sitting and driving as the lyrics start with him sliding forward in that crouch with his arms in front of him.
This ol' highway's getting longer
Seems there ain't no end in sight
To sleep would be best, but I just can't afford to rest
I've got to ride in Denver tomorrow night.
Yuuri cruises in that crouch for a moment during the first line then stands and then pulls a Choctaw turn when the second line plays while he looks around. Then goes directly into a cantilever with arms extended off the ice for the third line, then bouncing up to grab a bit of momentum to do a flying sit spin for the fourth line.
I called the house but no one answered
For the last two weeks no one's been home
I guess she's through with me, to tell the truth I just can't see
What's kept the woman holding on this long
Yuuri comes out of the sit spin after the first line of the next verse to a choreographic sequence for the next few lines. He emotes so spectacularly during this that if they didn’t know him they would have all thought his long-time girlfriend or wife had finally left like he was expecting them to. Viktor could tell this was a routine since no one was this in tune with a random song where every move you make seems like you are leading the song instead of the other way around. However, he still can’t figure out why a routine to this song, as he has never heard Yuuri play it before and it seems rather random for him so far.
And the white line's getting longer and the saddle's getting cold
I'm much too young to feel this damn old
All my cards are on the table with no ace left in the hole
I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Yuuri crouches on one leg with the other trailing behind as he runs his fingers of his right hand over the ice and then pulls his hand up and forward like he is tracing the white line, then stands and rubs his hands for warmth at the second half of the line while gaining speed for the next line. He quickly pulls a triple flip, single toe-loop combo for the second line of the verse. Then gains speed again while checking his sleeves for an ace during the third, only to launch into a triple salchow, single-loop combo for the end of the verse.
By this point, Viktor realizes why this song was picked for him and why Yuuri had been trying to practice without him in Hasetsu. Yuuri was skating this for him, and it was starting to make him misty-eyed as he watched his beautiful fiance skate something to cheer him up that was so planned and thought out.
The competition's getting younger
Tougher broncs, you know I can't recall
The worn out tape of Chris LeDoux, lonely women, and bad booze
Seem to be the only friends I've left at all
Yuuri pulls an Ina Bauer during the melodic moment between verses through the first line of the verse, then shocks the group with a butterfly jump for the second line. This takes a massive amount of muscle to do it just after standing out of an Ina Bauer and near the end of the routine on top of everything, is remarkable enough that even Yuri can’t hide the wonder on his face. For the third line, Yuuri pulls a Biellmann Spin and make it a combo by transitioning to a Layback Spin for the fourth line.
And the white line's getting longer and the saddle's getting cold
I'm much too young to feel this damn old
All my cards are on the table with no ace left in the hole
I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Yuuri went into the chorus repeating the move for the first line of the Chorus but changing the rest to a jump sequence to have a triple flip, double salchow, single toe loop for the middle part then a bit edge play on his blades for the third line of the verse into the final line of the song. Where he ends in a pose similar to his starting pose.
Lord, I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Yuuri puts his hands together in prayer for the word “lord”, then hunches over like an old man and rubs his back before freezing in that position as his final pose. He holds the position for a second after the song ends, but then quickly looks up since the rink is silent aside from his panting. When he looks up he sees looks of awe and admiration on everyone’s face, even Yuri who is looking at him like he just saw a real tiger in the wild.
“Um, so I know you have been upset by how your body hurt lately, and this song really made me think of you while you are sore but competing so…” Yuuri starts to look nervous as Viktor still isn’t saying anything. “I honestly wasn’t making fun of you! I promise! I just thought of this song when you hurt after worlds and wanted to cheer you up” Yuuri was cut off as he had skated closer while talking and Viktor now has him wrapped in the tightest bear hug possible with the barrier between them.
“How are you still standing and talking right now?” Yuri asks with pure awe still evident in his voice. “That was so fast, with so many jumps and spins not to mention all the core strength of the crouches, Ina Bauer, and cantilever…” Viktor still doesn’t let go of Yuuri but he loosens his hold enough for Yuuri to answer.
“Well that was a bit much for me to have to do several times but, well, stamina is my one real advantage in skating so while that was hard and I couldn’t do it again for at least an hour it wasn’t impossible. Mostly you just have to maintain good breathing while you do it or you will collapse from lack of oxygen to your muscles.” Yuuri looks rather sheepish admitting that he knows his stamina is massive. “The real advantage was Viktor letting me find time to skate alone at the Ice Castle so I could figure out the transitions and exactly where I could take big deep breaths. But I knew Viktor was upset about his body rebelling against his return so I just wanted to make him smile.” Everyone, even Yuri, smiles at him for that, though Yuri looks down to try and hide it.
“Love, would you let me use this song as my routine next season? Please?” Viktor asks with reverence in his voice and on his face.
Before Yuuri can reply Yakov cuts in, “If you thought your joints hurt this season trying to do that short program will probably cripple you. I have no idea how the boy is still standing after that display but I don’t think anyone else could pull that off but him.” Yakov both looks and sounds impressed, and then further floors everyone by smiling at Yuuri before saying, “That was fine skating, if you skate like that more often my students won’t be able to catch you. I’m impressed Katsuki.”
“Th-th-thank you, sir. I’m… would it be okay if I help Vitya choreograph a routine that was more geared towards him instead?” Yuuri asks, just skipping over the praise as he doesn’t know what to do with it and isn’t ready to try and wrap his head around it yet.
“I don’t see why not, you are evidently an exceptional choreographer to pull that off in the four weeks since worlds. Though now I see why Mila said I should come to watch the freestyle battle today, all she would say was there was a surprise. I’m glad I saw that.” Yakov just nods at them before heading off to his office to check in after his vacation.
“Speaking of being glad they saw that,” Georgi says before turning to Mila “I managed to record it for Phichit since he was asking to make sure we did. Though I didn’t remember to get any reaction shots to it since I was too busy watching every moment and then too stunned at the end.” Georgi looks a little stunned still but seems to be recovering better than Mila who still seems to be half-frozen as the shock of Yakov complimenting someone knocked her back off-kilter as she tried to recoup from watching Yuuri skate.
“Just make sure you send it to him,” Yuri huffs. “No one that bubbly and cute is to be trusted when crossed, they get crazy.” Yuri shudders thinking about the quiet shovel talk he got from Yuuri’s best friend after Phichit heard about Yuri calling him piggy, it was the final reason to switch to Katsudon instead.
“My love, my sunshine, that was the most amazing thing I have ever seen! If my routine is even a ¼ as good as that I will get my record back for the SP.” Viktor enthuses before kissing his cheek.
“I’m glad you liked it Vitenka,” Yuuri says with a blush. “I just hoped to make you smile, but if you like it this much I will make you an amazing routine for it.” Yuuri hugs him back tightly and smiles big, just as an extremely extra idea pops into his head… He may need Phitchit’s help again.