Chapter Text
The days have stopped passing. Or maybe they haven't, I'm not sure anymore. It might have been hours or it might have been years since he-
No. I vowed to myself not to think of it. Ever. I can't.
Mor, Cass, Az and Amren have spent the past god knows how long downstairs just sitting there. Staring at the wall as if he is going to come sauntering out. Of course he isn't and I so desperately want to scream at them. To tell them to stop hoping. Hope left this world the moment he did.
But I can't. If it stops them hurting so much then I can withstand the hole in my chest. Where the bond used to be. It's as if someone has taken my soul and ripped it apart over and over, scattering the pieces to the farthest points of this universe. Hurling them into an abyss no one has dared explored and no one ever will.
People keep coming, apologising as if saying sorry will fix anything. As if it is their fault but all I can think about is how much I hate him. I hate him for leaving me. I hate him for tricking me. I hate him for sacrificing himself. I hate him for leaving me here, for not taking me with him wherever we go next. I know I shouldn't but I do. I need somewhere to channel my anger, where better than the source of the pain? Nesta and Elain keep coming to sit beside me, trying to get me to eat something. I would be surprised if I wasn't so caught up in the swirling maelstrom of darkness that was slowly eating its way through what little remained of my soul.
Your support means so much to me
Thank you Xx