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You stand in the middle of Lucifer’s office, awkwardly looking between him, Simeon, Solomon, and Lord Diavolo. It’s quiet, so quiet that you were positive everyone could hear your heart slamming against your chest. You quickly glance down at your get up before looking back up at the small group of people in front of you.
“I knew from the moment that I could hear your every move down the hall,” Lucifer’s pinching the bridge of his nose with a look of complete agony on his face, “that I should have left and stopped you from coming inside. This is on me. This is my fault.”
Literally only six hours earlier…
“I’m back!” The doors to the House of Lamentation swing open as you slide into the main room, your hands sticking out as you stare at the brothers who look at you incredulously. “I said…” You clear your throat, gesturing your hands to yourself and then the brothers who were in the middle of eating lunch, “ I’m back! ”
“We heard you the first time.” Lucifer states plainly as he sips on his coffee at the dining room table. “Has it been three weeks already? It seemed like only a few days.” The eldest sighs, clearly looking bored with your antics already.
“You know, when you say it like that, it sounds like you want me out of the house.” You argue with your hands on your hips, leaning forward to glare at the demon. The last three weeks you had been back home, your actual home. You had been suspended from RAD for three weeks, something about, ‘You can’t just kiss the future Devildom King in front of a group of demons at his own birthday party!’ and ‘That was so incredibly dangerous and reckless of you; not all demons in the Devildom agree with us hosting humans, let alone one cozying up with the crowned prince,’ and all that jazz. You honestly didn’t see what all the buzz was about, especially when you weren’t the one doing the kissing. As far as you were concerned, you were innocent in all of this. Would this stop you from throwing out pick up lines left and right with no consideration of the consequences? Of course not, you wouldn’t be sticking to your brand if that were the case.
“Did you learn your lesson?” Lucifer’s looking at you from where he’s seated at the end of the table.
“If I say yes, will you spare me the lecture?”
“No.”
“Well in that case, no I have not, and I’ll even go as far as to say that this was a waste of everyone’s time.”
🖋🖋🖋
“Idiot.” You let out a sigh for what seems like the millionth time when Mammon calls you an idiot… for the millionth time. “Seriously? What were ya thinkin’? Ya should’ve just told him you learned your lesson, even if you were just lyin’.” Mammon’s done nothing but scold you the second you got out of Lucifer’s office. It was as if he thought you wanted another lecture for the day, and you couldn’t get him to hop off your case. The two of you are hanging out in your bedroom again, and according to Asmodeus’ earlier texts, he would be joining soon too.
“You told me I should never lie to Lucifer.” You say while you watch Mammon spin around in your desk chair.
“Liar!” He comes to a halt, the heels of his feet digging into your carpet, “I said you should always lie to Lucifer! Especially when ya don’t agree with him. Come on, this is basic shit we went over when you first arrived at the Devildom.” You sigh again and roll your eyes, lying stretched out on your bed. Within a few seconds, you hear the door to your room open before closing softly.
“I brought snacks for our first meeting.” Asmodeus’ voice rings out in your room and you can hear the shuffling of plastic from the bags he was carrying. “I brought some drinks too.” You can hear him toss a bottle of water to Mammon and you safely assume that he missed it based on the ‘thud’ and the loud laughter that left Asmodeus shortly after.
“Our meetin’?” You’re sitting up now, gingerly taking the water bottle from Asmodeus when he offers it to you. Asmodeus looks at Mammon as if he’s stupid.
“Duh.” Is all he says before he sits down next to you, laying out the bags of chips on the bed. “We’re a team now. Team Stop Anti-Pick Up Line League.”
“Team what ?” You didn’t even bother to repeat his line. Throughout your stay here, you’ve learned to stop questioning many of the things that would leave the blond’s mouth. If it wasn’t from the inappropriate nature of his comments, it would be the sheer randomness of it. Still, you find yourself questioning what he meant.
“Lucifer is the Anti-Pick Up Line League, so naturally we have to stop him.” The fifth eldest elaborates as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Maybe it was and you were just stupid; it was hard to tell sometimes if that were the case.
“Asmodeus, we don’t have time for your riddles.” Mammon comments from where he sits, and you’re silently thankful that you weren’t the only one confused. “What are ya on about anyway?”
“Lucifer is in a team against us.”
“I didn’t even realize we were on any teams.” You stare at the demon dumbfounded. “When did we get into teams?”
“Who is even on his team? I can’t imagine many people joinin’ forces with Lucifer, except maybe Lord Diavolo and Barbatos, but then again, Lord Diavolo seemed pretty keen on your pick up lines.” Mammon swirls around in the chair again. It’s amazing how he hasn’t gotten dizzy yet.
“I think it’s actually just Lucifer.” Asmodeus states sheepishly. “But!” He claps his hands together enthusiastically. “I strongly believe he is going to try and stop us from meeting up to plot more events.”
“Events?” Was it just you, or were you the only one not following along?
“You know, more pick up lines for you to use on us!” Asmodeus throws his arms in the air, leaning back while doing so. “I think it’s a lot of fun watching you try to lay a pick up line on one of my brothers, although I must admit that I get a tinsy bit jealous at times.”
“And how do you plan on us winnin’ over Lucifer?” Mammon asks with a quirked eyebrow. “And his, uh, Anti-Pick Up Line League.”
“I’m so glad you asked! I actually came up with the most perfect pick up lines that will fit your brand.” He says as he slings an arm around your shoulders. “Just trust me.”
Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have.