Chapter Text
Remus wrapped the red wool blanket around his shoulders, it was late, nearly midnight. Sirius had rushed out of the house about an hour ago, worried about James and Lily, but left it at that. Remus was sitting on the couch of their small flat, a cup of tea warming his hands, and doing a poor job at calming his mind. He didn’t understand what could’ve gone wrong if Sirius was the secret keeper? Surely everything would be going to plan? But Sirius seemed very adamant all was not well.
He heard a ‘crack’ outside of the apartment, and the next thing he knew Sirius came bursting into the apartment.
“Sirius?! What happened?!” Remus asked. Sirius was standing in the entryway pale and shivering, tears streaming down his face, Harry bundled up in his leather jacket. “Sirius?”
Sirius looked up at him fear swimming in his grey eyes, as tears rolled down his cheeks. “I’m sorry Moony.” He whispered.
“Sorry? Pads, what happened?” Remus asked in a panic. Heart rate picking up, the pieces falling place. There’s only one reason why Sirius would be here with Harry.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Sirius rambled on, leaning forward and crying into Remus’ shoulder. Remus carefully took Harry from his arms and wrapped the arm that wasn’t holding Harry around Sirius. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Sirius kept mumbling into Remus’ shoulder.
“Shhhh, Love, what happened?” Remus asked softly, the words getting caught in his throat. He knew what happened, but he needed to hear the words, or he would never accept it as the truth.
“J-James and-and Lily…” Sirius choked out, sobs wrenching his body. Remus felt his lip quivering and hot tears beginning to stream down his face.
“We-we switched...I-I’m sorry. So so sorry.” Sirius sobbed.
“Pads,” Remus said, “What’re you sorry for?” He asked tentatively.
Sirius looked up at him with pleading, teary eyes, “Please forgive me.” He begged in a small whisper.
“Sirius, my love, tell me what happened?” Remus begged in a choked tone. His knees trembling, tears rolling down his cheeks.
Sirius lip’s trembled then he said, “Me and Peter switched. He was- he was the secret keeper.” Then his lip quivered more and he collapsed to the floor, Remus collapsed down next to him. “I-I thought it was you.” He sobbed. “I didn’t want James and Lily to die. I-I thought I made the right call. I-I’m the reason they’re dead.”
“Love, it’s not your fault. It’s Peter’s. He’s the one that betrayed them.” Remus said softly, the words stung. How could Peter betray them? After everything, they’ve done for him. “You’re here with me now, and we have Harry.”
Sirius looked back up at him, the picture breaking his heart more. Sirius’ grey eyes were big and scared, tears pouring down his cheeks. “I-I thought it was you...aren’t you mad?”
Remus worried his lip between his teeth, he brought his free hand up to cup Sirius’ cheek, using his thumb to wipe away his tears. Harry was still in his other arm, wrapped up in Sirius’ jacket, nestling his face in the crook of Remus’ neck. “I understand Pads...I-I even thought it was you.” He tried to blink away his tears to no avail. “But we can’t hold grudges. We need to be here for each other, for Harry. We both know how bad it gets when we don’t have each other.”
Sirius collapsed into his shoulder sobbing harder, “They’re gone Moons, gone. How are we supposed to carry on without them?”
“I don’t know,” Remus said truthfully. They both sat there for a long time, crying. Eventually, Sirius went quiet and Remus thought he had fallen asleep until he suddenly snapped up and said;
“I’m going to kill that rat!” Sirius spat out catching Remus off guard. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and headed to the door.
“Please stay here love. Stay with me.” Remus pleaded, feeling all the fight drain out of him.
“They’re going to arrest me! Everyone thinks I was the secret keeper!” Sirius sobbed, sounding hysteric.
“There’ll be a trial. I won’t let anything happen to you Pads! Please stay.” Remus pleaded.
“Rem…” Sirius whimpered, his sudden burst of energy gone. He looked lost standing in the middle of the entryway. “What are we going to do?”
“We’re going to stay here, with Harry. We have to.” Remus said, holding his free hand out for Sirius to take. “Please stay. He needs his Padfoot. I need my Padfoot. And you need us too.” Remus pleaded softly, looking into Sirius’ grey eyes.
Sirius bit his lip, considering something, then said. “I’m sorry Moons, but I can’t let him get away with this.” Then turned and went out the door.
“No!” Remus shrieked, surely waking up the neighbours. “Sirius! Padfoot! Come back! Come back!” He sobbed. Holding Harry close to his chest. “Come back,” He whispered. “Come back…”