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"Where's your girlfriend?" sneers a voice from behind Hardison.
Hardison gulps his orange soda without looking up from his keyboard. "Probably in the vents already," he says cheerfully. "Why?"
"Because that means there's nobody around to hear you scream."
Hardison swivels his chair, slouching a bit, to look at the ominous figure approaching him.
"Oh noooo," he says, voice high-pitched with false distress. "You've got me. Except," and here he begins to grin, "you forgot one thing."
The thug's eyes widen at the distant sound of a door being kicked off its hinges.
Hardison says, "I also have a boyfriend."