Work Text:
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Kuroo's voice echoes loudly in the empty church. There is no one nearby - the time is long past midnight, but the doors of the Lord are always open, so Tetsuro enters the church confidently, almost by opening the door with his feet.
He smiles too contently, seeing the surprise on the face of the clergyman.
"The priest isn't here now. Do you want to left him a message?"
"Yes, tell him that I've come to repent for the first time in eleven years, and this devil isn't here. So, who should save my sinful soul?", - Kuroo thinks, but doesn't say neither of those things out loud.
"And you then?"
"Preacher."
"This will do." Kuroo slams the door behind him, goes inside the church and sits down on one of the distant benches.
“Forgive me, Mr. Preacher man, for I have sinned."
Tetsuro can swear that a smile almost appeared on the face of the clergyman, but the church is dark, only rare candles are burning. Kuroo could imagined this.
The preacher gazes intently at the nocturnal visitor, roughly throwing his feet on the bench in front of him. The visitor's grin reminds Tsukishima of a cat.
Kei always wanted to have a cat.
"What is your sin, my son?"
Kuroo smiles contentedly.
What should he start with?
"Let's start with the fact that I have committed adultery. A lot and very often." Tetsuro laughs, but stops abruptly, noticing the preacher's cold gaze. "I played with other people's hearts, broke them, crushed them, threw them out. Although more often I played them like a violin, do you understand? Can you play the violin?"
Tsukishima shakes his head. Kuroo sighs heavily.
“Well, it's for the best. You won't need it anyway."
Kei understands that the conversation will drag on for a long time, so he also sits down on one of the benches. They sit at opposite ends of the church, but it's so small that the distance to each other can be reduced in twenty seconds.
If it will need to be, of course.
(It will).
"I've been stumbling through the door after 6 AM, shouting under the windows, writing indecent words on the walls and pissing people off. I don't know, really, what exactly this sin is."
"Dickness."
Kuroo rolls his eyes and laughs out loud again. He came across an amazing preacher, he was delighted.
"Let's think about what's next on the list. Alcohol? I used it almost every day. Cigarettes? I've been smoking since fifteen. Drugs? I quit, but back then I had a memorable year."
Tsukishima looks at his wristwatch. 12:47 AM. His replacement will come only by five in the morning, he needs to hold out.
It might even be interesting.
"Okay, lust noted. Gluttony?", - says Kei, crossing his arms and leaning back against the back of the bench.
The saints don't behave like Tsukishima.
"I love to overeat in McDonalds - I always take myself three chickenburgers, nuggets, fries and a small fanta to puke in different colors."
However, the Lord probably sleeps at night like a decent boy, so Kei can have a little fun.
"Envy?"
"I fucking envy Chris Hemsworth, have you seen his body? I would sell my soul to the devil to look the same."
Tsukishima raises his eyebrow and stares at Kuroo with a sneer. Only the most lost can talk about selling soul in the church - Kei isn"t sure if he should waste time on this rogue at all.
"Shall we continue?" Tetsuro licks his lips.
On the other hand, he has nowhere to rush.
"Pride?"
"I am one of the most beautiful people that others have ever met in their life. Unless, of course, the most beautiful. But this isn't pride, this is a statement of fact."
"What about sloth and wrath?"
Kuroo wants to answer, but stops himself at the last second. He lowers his head down, puts his feet on the ground and stays silent for several minutes.
Tsukishima realizes that he has found a sore point - the reason why the stranger even showed up here.
"Is it allowed to smoke in the church?"
Kuroo accelerates the bike to 100 miles per hour and only increases speed every second. Somewhere far behind there were high-rise buildings, neon lights, all of his friends and relatives. Somewhere ahead she is waiting, and Tetsuro is fucking afraid of not making it in time.
Just two hours ago, his conscience was screaming that he should return. But his demons screamed louder. They shouted that she deserved it, that it was time for her to rot alone and find out what it was like to live like before. Without Tetsuro. No attachment. Without love. Kuroo drove further and further into the night, somewhere ahead, not seeing the road. He listened to the demons, he didn't listen to himself, and let the wind blow away his tears, without taking his hands off the bike.
But that was two hours ago.
Now he's pushing 120 mph in the opposite direction. His mouth is too damn dry to utter out a prayer, so Tetsuro hopes the Lord can read his mind. Can help her. Kuroo needs to return before it's too late.
So he doesn't have to break down the fucking door.
So that he doesn't have to see the absence of life in her eyes.
"So you ended up here because you've ran out of gas?" Tsukishima takes a deep puff and looks up at the night sky. Kei smiles slightly when he manages to find the great bear.
"I don't wanna return to my city, so I'm traveling around the country." Kuroo smokes the third cigarette in a row. It's not enough for him.
Or maybe he just doesn't feel anymore?
"Do you believe in God?"
Kuroo laughs softly and looks up at the night sky after Kei. He doesn't know the names of the constellations, he was never interested or tried to learn them. Kuroo doesn't believe that somewhere there is a huge guy with a beard in a white coat, who is watching them now. He doesn't believe that there's someone who created a rainbow and guinea pigs, and after that decided to create a fucking cancer and let the poor children of Africa starve to death.
Kuroo really wants to say no, because saying that to a preacher after you've confessed your sins seems like a fucking funny story that he can tell to his new friends, that he plans to make.
"I really want to believe." Tetsuro says finally. "But I don't think that I can. I wanna be stupid and naive and believe that if I behave well, after I crash on my bike, I will definitely go somewhere to beautiful angels who will suck my dick and fulfill any of my whims, simply because once a month, I donated old clothes to shelters and fed stray dogs. But it seems to me like a fucking bullshit, in which I physically cannot bring myself to believe."
Kuroo drops the cigarette on the ground. He looks at Kei with a desire to see the reaction - for example, how he say "go fuck yourself, sinner" and lock the doors of the church right in front of his nose.
But Tsukishima keeps looking at the sky, trying to find something there. Just a little more, and the cigarette will burn his fingers. But that's okay.
Kei doesn't feel anything either.
"There is no god."
Tsukishima lowers his head and looks back. His brown eyes shine piercingly in the darkness and eerily reminiscent of the ones Kuroo is so desperate to remember.
For the last month he has been doing it disgustingly badly.
"Do you wanna leave the church?" Tetsuro asks. "I have a bike and two hundred dollars in cash. And I can also give you my helmet, and you can sit behind me, hug me by the stomach, and we will be like a couple of the most romantic films."
"You have no gasoline."
Kuroo laughs out loud and comes closer.
"Is that the only thing that stops you?"
Tsukishima stares at the hand outstretched to him for a few moments and finally drops his cigarette on the ground towards the pile of Kuroo's.
Tetsuro has his own devils drowning in his eyes. Kei thinks that there is very little left for him - a year or two and everything will end - he will go into that endless black void, into which Tsukishima looks himself.
"Can you help get away from this life of sin?", Kuroo asks quietly. "I'm ashamed of the dark places I've been and where I pulled others with me. Fix my soul, Mr. Preacher Man, so I don't lose a love again."
Kei may not believe in God, but he came to church to help people and return them to the true path of grace. Tsukishima sees in front of him a desperate sinner whose only and last refuge may be a small lonely church somewhere on the outskirts.
Kuroo Tetsuro needs to be saved.
"First thing we need to is gasoline."
Kuroo smiles.