Chapter Text
“MingJue, sport is not all you have to focus on. Your grade worsens each time.”
MingJue moved on his legs uncomfortably. He knew it was coming. When teacher Lan asked him to stay after the class for a talk, he knew he was in trouble. No, even before that. he knew it ever since he handed his empty exam sheet to teacher Lan. But being ready for it never meant he wouldn’t be uncomfortable.
Lan QiRen sighed. The old man had seen enough students to know when words wouldn’t work.
“I can’t force you to study. But I’m asking you. You’re a smart kid. Don’t waste it. for now, I’ve come up with a solution. You need a tutor.”
MingJue’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth to protest, but Lan QiRen raised a hand to stop him.
“no complaints. I have talked to Jin GuangYao before and he accepted to do it for free. He’s your friend so it’s easier for you to get along with him. From now on he will help you with your study…”
MingJue’s ears refused to hear anything more. Blood pumped harder in his veins and his heart tightened in anger. He scoffed mentally.
So that bastard had accepted to tutor him? huh! He was dying to be beaten up, wasn’t he? Well, MingJue wouldn’t deny him.
His fists clenched beside his body.
“thank you, Mr. Lan. I will try my best.” To kill him. he finished in his head and ignore the man’s concerned eyes.
His shoulder tensed under the warmth of a small hand. The heat of anger was back in his head. He didn’t even need to raise his head to know the owner of the hand. Hatred was a strong bond, after all.
“so you’re here da-ge.” he heard the sickeningly sweet voice of the boy and no one but him could hear the hidden sarcasm behind the endearment. He finally rose his head and pulled himself away from the touch. His eyes moved up to meet the smiling eyes of the boy.
“so you fucking dared to show up,” he whispered angrily. Not able to shout because of the library rules. GuangYao laughed and moved around the long desk to sit across from him. MingJue would die to punch off that sweet smile.
“of course. Mr. Lan begged me to tutor his dumb student. I can’t disappoint him.”
MingJue was sure the pencil between his fingers was a second away from breaking. But he managed to stop himself and scoffed.
“isn’t disappointing what describes you?”
“I’m sure you can find better words to describe me.” He said while bringing out a book from his backpack. Put it on the desk and smiled at MingJue again, as if they were talking about the weather: “but I let your stupid ass think harder. Wait…” his eyes widened in panic and MingJue was taken aback for a second: “might that damage your little brain?”
The pencil successfully broke in his hand: “you mother fucker…” he gritted his teeth and the anger doubled when Jin GuangYao laughed sweetly.
“okay. Enough talking. We need that little brain to work.”
The library wasn’t a good choice for a murder. He needed to remind himself. Later. He would kill that bastard later.
He didn’t stop glaring at GuangYao the whole time which seemed to amuse the boy to no end.
“er-ge texted me to join him for lunch. Meet us in the dining hall.” GuangYao said before leaving. Later he joined them in the dining hall. The two were happily conversing. XiChen waved at him with a wide smile. He smiled back and nodded. during the lunch he and GuangYao didn’t spare each other a glance, nor engaged in a conversation. Lan XiChen was too used to it to comment.
It all started when they were kids. Three neighbors. Lan XiChen who was a sweetheart, a perfect polite kid. Nie MingJue who was always ready to fight for honor and Jin GuangYao, who was a small shy kid who would hide behind MingJue during fights. They became friends easily. MingJue would punch anyone who dared bully his friends. GuangYao would bring delicious foods his mom had cooked and Lan XiChen had always been the one apologizing to elders for their stupid acts. Because no one could be angry at his innocent self. They grew up together. Played hide and seek, learned how to ride a bicycle, ran away from school, sneaked alcohol, talked about the hot girls, fought the bullies, spent nights in each other’s houses, fought each other. They had a stupid small ceremony in which they became sworn brothers. Something GuangYao had seen in a movie and MingJue was stupid enough to urge them to do it.
Everything was fine until the first year of high school. after an exhausting round of basketball, he was the first one to go back to the changing room. He had seen GuangYao leaving during the game, which was unusual when he and XiChen were playing. But he didn’t give it much attention. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he needed to use the bathroom. He probably had a good reason. But when he opened the door of the changing room, GuangYao was there. he grinned: “A-Yao! What ar…” but the words stuck in his mouth and his grin faded. Because GuangYao was standing in front of his teammate’s locker and had a pair of sneakers in his hands MingJue could recognize. They were Jiang WanYin’s. his favorite sneakers. His father had bought them for him and he knew how rare it was for the boy to have a gift from his father. His face was glowing when he first wore them during the practice, swearing he would surely win and make his father proud. He hadn’t even worn them for the game, so they wouldn’t get dirty. But now the shiny white sneakers were drenching in something black and the strong scent of soy sauce was filling the changing room.
“Oh. Hey. How was the game?” GuangYao greeted with a smile and put the ruined sneakers back in the locker before closing it again. as if nothing had happened.
“what are you doing?” MingJue asked in shock. He couldn’t believe what he just witnessed. As far as he knew, Jiang WanYin and GuangYao were good to each other. All nice greetings and easy jokes. There was only one word in his mind. Why?
“you mean the sneakers? That’s for revenge.” His smile didn’t even halter.
“he has bullied you?” he asked. Already angry.
“no. not him.” he laughed a bit: “his best friend called me a son of a whore.” His muscles tensed and the smile seemed forced now. MingJue knew how much GuangYao hated to be called that. he knew. He could understand. but it wasn’t the problem.
“Wei WuXian? Then why are you doing this to WanYin?”
“that arrogant bastard has no weaknesses. The only way to hurt him is through the ones he loves.”
“so WanYin has done nothing and you did that to him?” he yelled. He was angry. Beyond angry. His head was burning with anger. His body was starting to shake. WanYin fucking loved his sneakers. GuangYao wouldn’t hurt him like that because of something his asshole of a best friend has said. Would he? Was he really such a devil?
“Should I stand aside and let others hurt me just because someone will get hurt if I take revenge?” GuangYao answered calmly. But there was a frown on his usual smiley face.
He didn’t know the boy in front of him. he wasn’t his nice childhood friend. The shy boy who hated fights. Who would always run around and steal everyone’s hearts with some nice words.
That day GuangYao ran away when he heard MingJue’s teammates’ footsteps. MingJue stood there and watched WanYin’s shocked face twisting in pain and disbelief upon seeing his sneakers. Later, MingJue cornered GuangYao and ordered him to apologize to WanYin. GuangYao just scoffed: “what’s the point of breaking someone if you’re going to apologize, Da-ge?”
He didn’t stop though. maybe GuangYao was so mad he had lost his sense of judgment. So he tried again, and again, and again. they would fight every time they met. Then GuangYao started avoiding him. Lan XiChen didn’t know what was happening. He was shocked by how his friends couldn’t stand each other’s presence. He tried to make it better, tried to leave them alone together so they could solve their problem. But stopped doing that when one day GuangYao came back with a huge bruise on his face.
That was the end of their friendship.
“Qin Su canceled our date.” GuangYao looked up from his cellphone with a pout: “er-ge, you’re not gonna leave me alone. Will you?”
MingJue scoffed and looked away. They were on their way home. Lan XiChen laughed.
“A-Yao, you know I have to study.” He looked at MingJue from the corner of his eyes: “why don’t you give Da-ge extra lessons?”
MingJue gave him a betrayed look: “I don’t fucking need help from anyone.” He snapped. His eyes moved to GuangYao and his face twisted in disgust: “especially from jerks.”
“da-ge!” XiChen seemed scandalized while GuangYao was just staring at him. MingJue scoffed and looked away.
“da-ge is unnecessarily mean to me. But it’s a good idea. He surely needs to try harder.”
MingJue opened his mouth to say something harsh. But GuangYao quickly added: “Mrs. Nie will be sad to know his son is failing in an exam.” And that successfully shut his mouth. That bastard was threatening him. the worst part was that he was smiling so sweetly right after that no one could get the threat behind his words. His fists clenched and his jaw tightened.
“come to me when I’m alone if you want to get some punches.” He growled angrily and XiChen’s eyes widened.
“Da-ge. you don’t need to be so angry…”
“I will willingly accept Da-ge’s punches if that means he will finally forgive me,” GuangYao answered calmly. That asshole needed an Oscar for his acting. XiChen’s hand on his shoulder was the only thing stopping him from attacking the youngest.
“in your dreams!” He yelled. His anger was out of control again. nothing new when he was around GuangYao.
“Da-ge…” XiChen was forced to stop when MingJue forcefully pushed his hands away, gave GuangYao one last glare and walked forward. he made sure to take large steps so the two couldn’t keep up with him. he didn’t answer their goodbyes when they reached their houses. When finally the door was closed behind his back, he breathed out and let the anger go away with the air. He was about to relax in the safety of the house when his cellphone vibrated with a massage.
See you at seven-thirty for extra lessons.
Dang. The anger was back.
If GuangYao’s face was still un-punched, It was MingJue’s fault. He was willing to make it up. but he couldn’t let GuangYao go back home with a ruined face. Not when everyone knew he was with MingJue before that. he wouldn’t be ashamed to beat the hell out of the boy. But he knew no one would understand and he simply didn’t want to explain.
But he finally found the chance during a game. He was in the field together with XiChen and QiongLin. Doing simple moves to warm-up their bodies. It was only by chance that he had his hand on the basketball when GuangYao appeared, wearing a neat golden suit and having his hair styled up.
“er-ge! give me some advice for my date…”
His words were cut short when a ball crashed into his face. He quickly bowed down and held his bleeding nose. But his suit was already bloodied.
“A-Yao!” XiChen’s eyes widened and he rushed to the boy in panic. QiongLin gave MingJue a look before doing the same.
Though MingJue simply grabbed the ball again and started throwing it into the hoop.
After that he didn’t get to see the boy for a day. XiChen scolded him later. Telling him how dangerous what he had done was and how he could have broken GuangYao’s nose. MingJue regretted. So the nose hasn’t broken. He sighed and noted to throw with more force next time.
They met in an empty classroom. GuangYao was already sitting behind a desk with an open book in front of him when he came in. a kid’s band-aid with bees on it was on his nose. He plopped himself on the chair in front of him. straddling the back of the chair to face GuangYao. GuangYao was staring back at him. MingJue tilted his head: “I have heard about people falling in love harder each time they see their lovers.” He reached his hand out to touch the band-aid. GuangYao dodged his touch. MingJue grinned: “didn’t know that can also be said about hatred.”
“I missed my date because of you,” GuangYao said through gritted teeth.
“good for Qin Su then.” he grinned wider.
He clearly had annoyed GuangYao. The boy clenched his fist on the desk.
“I hate you as much as you hate me.” He watched in amusement as GuangYao’s fist started shaking on the desk: “but we were friends once. you don’t even care about that, do you?”
“I wanna clear the shit on that part of my memory. The shit is you.” His scoff was halfway on his face when GuangYao stood and grabbed the back of his head harshly. His smile froze and his eyes widened.
“you fucked up my date Da-ge. I won’t let you go easily.”
It was either the anger in his voice or the intense hatred in his eyes, MingJue found himself swallowing at the threat. His eyes moved down from GuangYao’s eyes and his terrified ass found out that maybe it wasn’t the anger or hatred, but something completely different. His whole body started burning in shame and anger and he was quick to push the boy away. GuangYao bumped into his own chair and watched with wide eyes as MingJue rushed to run away from the classroom.
MingJue was gone and missed the sight of the smirk on GuangYao’s lips when realization sank in. he tsked.
“Da-ge is in trouble ̴”
MingJue didn’t get enough sleep that night. His brain was busy reviewing every emotion and thought he ever had toward GuangYao to find out if he was ever into him.
But no! no! he had never been. In the past GuangYao was a good friend-reminding that left a trace of bitterness on his tongue-and now he just hated the boy. Totally hated him. with his whole heart. but how! How the fuck could he look at the lips of someone he wanted to kill so badly and think about kissing them? he must have gone mad.
He had avoided the boy for the past week. hadn’t even attended his tutor. But fate had funny ways to bring people to the person they were running away from.
But fate wasn’t the one who brought GuangYao to him. GuangYao came to find him himself. He was changing in the changing room when he heard the sweet voice of his.
“Da-ge!”
His whole body tensed. He wasn’t ready for it.
A hand grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn, with his shirt midway down his torso, he gazed into GuangYao’s smiley face. He was a head shorter than him, but MingJue’s eyes had never found anyone’s lips so quickly.
The bastard was wearing a fucking lip gloss! MingJue truly wanted to scream and crush GuangYao’s head into his locker.
“Take your filthy hands off me.” He managed to growl, and to his surprise GuangYao complied, looking at him innocently.
“Da-ge. will you hurry up? we need to go to our tutor.”
Jiang WanYin gave them a weird look before leaving the changing room. he wanted to beg him to stay. To not leave him alone with this devil. But he couldn’t even look away from GuangYao’s puppy-like eyes. Great. Now he hated puppies.
“Why the fuck are you here?”
Finally, GuangYao’s lips stretched into a wide smile. He stepped back and sat on the bench in the middle of the room: “even a dumbass like you can get the reason. Or are you really that stupid?”
“shut up.” he growled: “How the fuck am I supposed to know what a bitch like you is doing here.”
“How is it that a bitch is calling me a bitch?” GuangYao raised his brows. MingJue tried to stop staring at those shiny lips and growled in disappointment: “Just fuck off.”
GuangYao stood up again and dusted off his uniform: “okay.” He met MingJue’s eyes: “thought you might want a taste. But you don’t deserve it.”
MingJue’s heart started beating crazily: “taste of what?”
GuangYao popped his lips and smirked: “the lip gloss.”
Fuck! Holy fuck! His brain stopped functioning for a good moment. Eyes remained on the glossy plump lips and his mouth started salivating too much.
He slapped himself internally. He hated GuangYao! Why should he want to kiss him? it was all the bastard’s fault. He was playing tricks on him.
“I don’t even want to see your filthy lips. fuck off right now.” He roared and turned to his locker.
“um. Fine. don’t be late for the tutor.” He heard footsteps nearing the door and his heart started thumping. It was alright. He did the right thing. GuangYao was a piece of shit. Why should he want to kiss him? or touch him? or wipe that damned lip gloss off his lips with his tongue? And suck and bit on them until they’re throbbing from pain?
DAMN!
His body moved hurriedly and in a blink of an eye, GuangYao’s small body was shoved into the door. He didn’t seem surprised at all, to be precise a smirk was on his lips. as if he had predicted this. As if MingJue was a fucking horny toy he could easily control with a lips gloss.
The anger rose in his chest and he harshly crashed his lips into GuangYao’s. the sudden pain in their teeth had them both wincing but stopped neither of them.
MingJue sucked the lips in his mouth and grimaced at the bitterness of the lip gloss. That made him even angrier and he sucked harder on the flesh. A hand came up into his hair and pulled them harshly. The other moved to his neck and nails were sinking into his skin. It pushed him to bit hard on the lips. the grasps on his hair and neck tightened and the pain doubled.
It wasn’t a kiss. It was a fight. their closed eyes weren’t because of the affection, but pain. it was weird. MingJue knew it was weird. But he couldn’t stop, not even when GuangYao sucked his tongue in his mouth and bit on it hard enough that the taste of blood overcame the bitterness of the lip gloss.
The lip gloss was not only bitter but sticky. The kiss turned into a tug of war with a mass of saliva and lip gloss spreading around their mouths. The worst kiss of his life without any doubt.
Yet when GuangYao pulled back he became disappointedly angry. GuangYao’s face was a total mess. his lips were blood-red and swollen and around his lips were red and shiny with saliva and lip gloss. MingJue knew his own wasn’t any better.
“What kind of a whore wants to kiss someone they hate?”
His brows twitched and his hand grabbed GuangYao’s arm: “what kind of a whore invites someone they hate to kiss them?” he growled through gritted teeth.
GuangYao laughed. He never wanted to shut a laugh this much. His hand around GuangYao’s arm tightened: “I will die to break some of your bones.”
GuangYao’s face twisted in pain and pulled MingJue’s hair harder: “you better not do it.” he warned. MingJue hated it, but he complied anyway. Letting go of GuangYao’s hand, he stepped back. He hadn’t even noticed how close they were until coldness clothed him. he hated how much he wanted the warmth back.
“if the slut in you is satisfied, you can fuck off.” He growled and turned his back to GuangYao. Moving to his locker again.
“okay. Don’t be late for our tutor session.”
He didn’t look back, not even when the door opened and closed again. his mind was a mess and he could hardly wrap his head around the situation. He just had kissed GuangYao, his ex-best friend and current enemy. and he was willing to kiss him. what the fuck was wrong with him? MingJue hid his face between his palms and growled. He could hardly understand anything. But he knew one thing.
It was all GuangYao’s fault.
If he thought that was a one-time thing, then he was terribly wrong, or too optimistic about GuangYao’s slutty manner.
Okay. That wasn’t the whole truth. Not even a slight part of the truth. GuangYao had nothing to do with their second kiss. MingJue knew he had to start doubting his own judgment. But he still couldn’t believe what his whole body was asking from him. even his brain would shut down when he was looking at the boy’s lips, now as simple as always without the lip gloss.
They were in MingJue’s room. GuangYao was sitting across from him with a deep frown, trying to find out the best way to explain the problem while tapping the end of his pen on the book. MingJue probably had to jerk off each time before having a tutor with GuangYao, because his horny brain wasn’t even trying to focus. So it was only fair to say GuangYao was taken aback when all of a sudden, MingJue leaned forward, cupped his cheeks and started kissing his lips.
GuangYao pushed him back with wide eyes: “what the hell are you doing? We’re at your house.”
MingJue knew what that warning meant. We can’t leave your room and face your family in that fucked-up state. He knew. He had to care. but he simply didn’t. the pages of the books between them wrinkled and tore when this time, MingJue walked forward on his knees and forcefully kissed GuangYao.
He regretted it later though. when his mother gave them a judging look and his brother hid his smirk behind his stupid fan.
“no closed doors next time.” His mother said when GuangYao left and MingJue felt totally helpless.
It never stopped. It was weird how none of them talked about the new situation. Their non-existent conversations turned into some sarcastic remarks and the non-existent eye contacts turned into stolen glances full of promises.
Other than that, nothing changed. XiChen was still always standing between them so there wouldn’t be a bloody fight. MingJue was still willing to break GuangYao’s bones and GuangYao was still addressing him coldly.
Nothing had changed, so he was shocked when one day his brother commented.
“you look happier.”
He was washing the dishes while whistling. His mouth shut and he turned to HuaiSang, raising his brows at his smirking brother.
“only because I accepted to wash the dishes instead of you?”
“no.”
“because I bought you a new hoodie?”
“no.”
“so what? Because I whistle and sing and let you skip classes without mom knowing?”
HuaiSang’s smirk grew wider: “such a long list for someone who isn’t happier.”
That caught him off-guard. A frown curved his brows: “shut up!” he rolled his eyes and turned to the dishes again.
“are you dating GuangYao-Xiong?”
The plate almost fell from his hand: “WHAT?” he turned to his brother in disbelief. HuaiSang was taken aback: “you’re not? But you guys kissed when he was here. And you started acting weird after that!”
That was true. How could he deny that? that made him more frustrated.
“don’t ever say that again.” he growled: “I will sacrifice my right hand to never ever see that jerk.”
HuaiSang looked at him in shock. But didn’t say anything and ran away.
“A-Yao, why are you so happy today?” XiChen asked during lunchtime. Remembering his conversation with HuaiSang, MingJue bit on his straw and looked at GuangYao from the corner of his eyes. Anticipating something he couldn’t recognize.
GuangYao smiled brightly: “Qin Su texted me. She wants to talk.”
The anticipation turned into frustration. he bit hard on his straw it ripped.
“that’s great! I told you she will understand.”
“I’m happy you were right, er-ge. I was sure she wouldn’t want to see me again,” he said dreamily. MingJue scoffed loudly. Face twisted in anger and frustration.
“pathetic. She pushed you back and you’re ready to rush to her.”
XiChen turned to him with wide eyes: “Da-ge! you shouldn’t talk like that. she didn’t mean to make A-Yao sad and that’s what matters.”
“that’s alright er-ge.” GuangYao didn’t look away from MingJue: “I’m used to his harsh words. We both know he doesn’t mean it though.”
“who the fuck said I don’t mean it?” MingJue growled: “I pity that poor girl. She’s gonna have a coward yet vindictive boyfriend. someone who pretends to be the nicest man but doesn’t mind to be a total asshole when no one’s watching.” He was pleased to see GuangYao’s hand fisted on the table, his lips pursed into a thin line: “what is it? is the truth bothering you, GuangYao?”
A long moment of silence followed his words. XiChen seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t know what and GuangYao was glaring at him heatedly. But it didn’t last long. His fist loosened and his smile was back: “Da-ge is right. What can I say?” he turned to XiChen: “I go find Wen Qing. She needed some help with math.”
“A-Yao.” XiChen looked at him sadly, as if he wanted to stop him. but GuangYao packed his things and stood up, gave him a reassuring smile before walking away.
For the first time after a long while, he wasn’t happy with the result of his insults.
He found GuangYao later. He was moving his books from his locker into the backpack with droopy shoulders. He walked up to him.
“I see you’re here.” GuangYao didn’t look up nor stopped what he was doing. MingJue wondered if the boy was waiting for him. he didn’t answer. coughed and stood where he was.
When GuangYao was done, he finally looked at him: “so you want me to be an asshole when people are watching?”
MingJue needed a moment to understand what he was talking about. GuangYao walked up to him and in a blink of an eye, the backpack was thrown into his lower region.
all he could feel was the pain. His upper body bowed to decrease it, which didn’t help at all. He looked up at GuangYao with bloodshot eyes. GuangYao was looking at him with raised brows.
“I was an asshole in front of others.” He pointed to the few students that were looking at them in shock: “hope that satisfies you, da-ge.” he said the endearment in a sarcastic tone again. MingJue could see his smirk.
And then he was gone.