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“Mr. Lurian? Tell us a bedtime story."
“I don’t know any good stories.”
“Make one up!”
“I’m not a bard.”
“Pleeeeease?”
“Well… I guess I know one story… If you promise to go to sleep immediately after.”
“We promise!”
“My father told me this one when I was little. Once upon a time, there lived a mushroom farmer and her husband. They had two children: a girl named Gaussreta and a boy named Hanzenel. They were very poor and could barely afford to feed themselves, let alone the children.
So one day, the mother took Gaussreta and Hanzenel deep into the mushroom forest and abandoned them there. Gaussreta and Hanzenel wandered for some time until they stumbled upon a house made entirely of mushroom marzipan and sugared spider eggs. Being hungry, they started eating it.
Suddenly, they were both frozen in place. A hag stood in the doorway, cackling. She dragged the children inside and put them both in cages. She fed them sweets until they grew quite fat.
One day, the hag took Gaussreta out of the cage.
“Build a fire in my oven,” the hag ordered her.
Gaussreta knew that the hag intended to eat her, of course, so she tried to trick her. “But I don’t know how,” said Gaussreta.
“I’ll show you, useless child,” said the hag. She leaned into the oven to build up the fire.
Gaussreta seized her opportunity and pushed the hag into the oven, slamming the door shut.
“Let me out!” cried the hag.
“Not until you promise to teach me your magic,” said Gaussreta.
“One condition: we eat your brother. Then I’ll teach you everything.”
Gaussreta agreed and let the hag out of the oven. Together, they ate Hanzenel. Gaussreta spent many years with the hag, learning all her magical secrets.
When Gaussreta felt that she’d learned everything she could, she tricked the hag into one of the cages.
“This is for what you did to my brother,” Gaussreta said as she burned down the mushroom marzipan house. The hag perished screaming in the flames.
Next, Gaussreta tracked down her parents, who were still living in abject poverty on the edge of the mushroom forest. She enslaved them and walked to the next town to sell them to the highest bidder.
And she lived happily ever after. Good night.”