Chapter Text
“Look over there, Dromeda”
“What am I supposed to be looking at?’
“See those first years? She’s a muggleborn and he’s in Slytherin. You’re not the only Slytherin in a relationship with a muggleborn. Times are changing, and soon no one will even know who’s muggleborn or pure blood.”
“Ted,” Andromeda sighed. “The Dark Lord is making sure that everyone knows who is muggleborn and who is pure blood,” she said, cupping his cheek. “I’ve told you, this is a school romance. You know I can’t see you after this year.”
Ted grinned all the same. “I’ll win your heart this year. And you’ll see how these things change. It won’t make a difference at all in a few years.”
Later that evening, while reading her books for the next day, Andromeda noticed the boy walk through the door to the Slytherin common room. “Hey, come join us,” she called. He looked around to see if it was actually he who was being called and she beckoned him over.
“Hi,” he hesitantly greeted.
“Hi,” she smiled back. “I’m Andromeda Black, and this,” she gestured beside her, “is my sister Narcissa and beside her is Lucius Malfoy. Why don’t you join us?” Narcissa smiled at the boy and Lucius looked at Andromeda trying to figure out why she was asking a poor first year to join them. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Severus Snape. My mother is Eileen Prince.”
“Who was captain of the gobstones club! I love playing gobstones. Still requires strategy, but doesn’t take quite as long as wizard’s chess.”
“Um, yeah.” Severus took out a book to read through. “She taught me to play a bit, but I’m not very good.”
“We’ll play then, and you’ll get better. And let any of us know if you need help with any of your school work. We can definitely point you in the right direction.”
The school term continued and the Sisters Black completely adopted Severus as their young mentee. He never knew why, but they asked him questions about his classes and his day and learned that he grew up with Lily and she was his friend from home, but that he really wouldn’t say anything else about his home life. He got better at gobstones and wizard’s chess and Lucius would give him pointers as he played against one of the sisters. In early December, Andromeda, who was one of the seventh year prefects, came around asking who was staying at Hogwarts over Christmas and was surprised to hear that Severus would be one of the students who did.
“You aren’t going home?”
“No, um, it’ll be better if I stay.”
“Oh.” She considered how to respond. “Well, I’ll put you down then. In that case, you’ll need to send me owls to let me know how things are celebrated around here. What they serve for Christmas breakfast and whatnot. I’ve never gotten to stay.” She winked at him conspiratorially.
“Okay.”
On Christmas morning, Severus awoke and found that he had not just one small gift, but a large one too! He felt a little guilty putting the gift from his mother aside, but found himself excited to open the mystery large one in the gleaming silver paper with the green velvet bow. Inside was the softest sweater he had ever touched, in Slytherin colors with the crest on the side. A winter hat and scarf in the same soft yarn, and real leather gloves! He dug down to find the card. “Happy Christmas! Go play in the snow. Yours, Andromeda and Narcissa.”
Severus froze. He couldn’t keep them. They’d have to be returned. Growing up in Spinner’s End, at three, you could ignorantly accept gifts, but by seven, you knew that you could only accept gifts that you could return in kind later. No one in Spinner’s End had any money to speak of, so you couldn’t possibly accept something that would cause a hardship for someone else. If they offered you a drink, then you happily accepted water or tea, not juice. You could accept a small birthday gift only if you would be giving one of similar value on their birthday. He would never be able to reciprocate these gifts.
He turned them over in his hands and his heart fell when he saw the monogrammed embroidery. Unreturnable. He spent the rest of the morning trying to think of a way he could repay the gifts through service. Eventually, he settled on helping to prepare their potion ingredients. He had helped his mother with hers and was good at many of the preparations. That was a good way for a first year to help a seventh and a fourth year. It had to be; it was the only one he could think of.
Luckily for Severus, the girls accepted his offer, although they thought that he was just such a nice boy and had likely wanted to learn more advanced potions from them. Lucius saw through his offer and esteemed him the more for it. He saw in Severus a true Slytherin who used his ambition the way it was meant and didn’t just take others’ riches for his own. Lucius started to teach Severus dueling and proper pure blood etiquette, even though he still hung out with the little muggleborn. Well, he was a first year and hadn’t really made many other friends, so it could be overlooked.
June brought Andromeda’s graduation and Severus couldn’t help but hold her hand through the festivities afterward. “I’ll miss seeing you next year. You’d better write!” she told him.
“I will! I’ll tell you about my gobstones games and who wins at quidditch.”
“Speaking of, I’m getting a new traveling broom that’s built for comfort not speed. I’m getting rid of my quidditch broom and thought I’d offer it to you before I tossed it.”
“Um …” Severus hesitated. A quidditch broom was never something he’d even considered, it being so far out of his mother’s budget.
“Here,” Andromeda pressed. “You take it and if you decide that you don’t want it, you can bin it.”
Severus couldn’t help but feel that it was probably charity, but was elated all the same. On the train home, he happily told Lily that next year they could take turns learning to fly on a good broom.
Second year started and while Andromeda was sorely missed, Regulus Black was Sorted into Slytherin and took her place at their table in the common room. Regulus was good at wizard’s chess (“I played all the time with my brother until he was Sorted into Gryffindor last year and forgot about me.”) but hadn’t learned gobstones. Severus spent some time with him each evening going over what would be covered in his classes the next day and they became fast friends. He’d written Andromeda right away to let her know how he was getting along without her and how much he enjoyed Regulus’s company. He and Regulus and Lily quickly bonded and played games and enjoyed the sun and flying on Andromeda’s old broom in their free time.
A few weeks into the term, they ran into Sirius in the hall coming back from the pitch. “How’d you get a Nimbus 200?” he challenged, having noticed his second hand robes.
“It was a gift.”
“Nice to see you too, brother,” Regulus interrupted.
Sirius turned and noticed him. “Oh. Hi, Reg.”
“Andromeda gave him that broom. Said she’d be proud if he would fly it in her honor,” Regulus boasted.
“She did not. What would Andromeda ever have to do with him?”
“Andromeda adores him,” Regulus exaggerated. “Sends him letters and chocolates.”
“Oh, is that where the box of Honeydukes came from?” Lily asked, completely unaware of the tension between the boys. “Those chocolates were heavenly!”
“Um, yeah,” Severus replied to her. “She sent it with her reply from my letter after the Sorting.”
Sirius’s mouth hung open, clearly hurt that Andromeda would be sending chocolates and letters to Severus, but none to him. Not that he had written her either, but still, it was Severus!
“Catching flies, Sirius?” Regulus smirked.
Sirius turned without another word and stalked back to his common room.
Sirius and Regulus might have only had little skirmishes for the six years they’d be at Hogwarts together, but Lily’s careless comment unknowingly set off the war between the Marauders and Regulus and Severus. And never would anyone have thought that the sacrifices of the losing side would be the salvation of the winners.
A month into the term, Severus asked Professor Sprout if he could grow some potions plants in a corner of one of the greenhouses. She was very proud of the second year showing his understanding of how her class material influenced his other subjects. He found some old glass bottles in an unused classroom and Professor Slughorn allowed him to keep them. On Christmas Eve, he carefully washed his bottles, packaged the best of his grown plants, wrapped them in brown packing paper and sent them off. One each for Andromeda, Narcissa, Lucius, Regulus and Lily. Lily probably wouldn’t have needed them as she and Severus were potions partners and Severus always made sure he had good ingredients, but he wanted her to have a gift from him to unwrap on Christmas.
He was relieved and happy to see that he had guessed right in sending gifts to Lucius and Regulus in addition to the Sisters Black, because there were four gifts waiting for him! Never in his life had there been such a fine Christmas! A luxurious new wool coat from the sisters, rather large, but he’d be able to wear it for years. A new cauldron from Lucius and a book on dueling from Regulus. His mother had sent him her old wizard's chess pieces, so he could now play with his own men instead of borrowing some. Christmas breakfast was wonderful and he played chess that afternoon with a fourth year who had also stayed and then read his new book well into the night.
The break was wonderful and he spent time practicing the spells in the dueling book, training his men, and playing in the snow in the warm coat. He received notes of thanks for most of his gifts, but the letter from Andromeda didn’t arrive until the day before the rest of the students returned.
Dear Severus,
I’m not sure if you’ve heard yet, but I married on Christmas Day. Ted is the most fiercely loyal gentleman I’ve ever met and we’re extremely happy together. You may remember Ted as a student from my year. He was in Hufflepuff House. We eloped as my parents would never have approved of an engagement as Ted is muggleborn. Unfortunately, this has also caused problems in my family. Please take care of Narcissa for me and be a good friend to Regulus. I’m sure they can use your friendship and good sense. Thank you for the beautiful herb collection! They are perfectly preserved and attractive as well. Your thoughtfulness is truly appreciated.
Yours most sincerely,
Andromeda
The letter was a bit confusing. He remembered seeing Andromeda with a Hufflepuff, but Narcissa had said that it was just a school thing and not to mention it to anyone as there’d be problems if their parents found out. Well, apparently there are problems. But, Andromeda was a Black and if she could marry a muggleborn, then maybe they could accept Lily. No one had really complained about Lily. Lucius and Narcissa ignored her, but Regulus seemed to like her well enough.
Everyone returned the following day, Narcissa looking perfect, unless you noticed her puffy eyes. Regulus was happy to regale Severus with stories of his Christmas and how Sirius tried to ruin everyone’s good mood and was sent to his room for the family dinner. It wasn’t until the following evening that Andromeda’s marriage was broached.
“Andromeda sent me a note a couple days ago,” he cautiously mentioned. “She said that she got married.”
Lucius looked displeased. “To a mudblood. Bloody fool looks like a blood traitor now.”
“Yeah,” added Regulus. “Father was most displeased. And Mother burned her off the tapestry.”
“Tapestry?” Severus asked.
“We have a tapestry in the drawing room. It shows the entire family tree. Well, since it was charmed anyway. It doesn’t go all the way back. When someone is born in the family, the tapestry adds them, but there isn’t a way to remove someone. Of course, no one has ever married a mudblood before. Toujours pur.”
“Toujours pur,” Narcissa echoed softly, although she was pointedly staring at her book.
Severus didn’t need to ask what a mudblood was.
Severus’s third year continued as the first two. He and Lily were always tops in potions. He was constantly on the lookout for the Marauders, who took every opportunity to hex and curse him. He used a number of the spells in the dueling book and was able to best them at least a third of the time, which he thought was pretty good as he was outnumbered four-to-one more often than not. When he was with Regulus, though, the pair could win at least two thirds of the skirmishes.
Andromeda sent him letters with pictures of the baby daughter she named Nymphadora. He always waited until he was alone with Narcissa to read the letters. He’d leave them open on the table while he wrote his response, so she could read them without appearing to have taken an interest in her now estranged sister. He’d understood from Regulus’s reaction the previous year that the sisters were no longer permitted to converse.
He continued growing plants for Christmas gifts and received several new books and a new set of robes and sweaters. Lucius worked with both him and Regulus on their dueling, dancing (needed for both balls and for improving footwork while dueling), and teaching them more advanced and arcane magic. Narcissa learned that he could perform a bit of Occlumency (a skill prodigiously taught to the Black children) and worked with both boys on the skill. Andromeda continued their correspondence, asking how his flying was and whether he might try out for the team the following year. He and Lily partnered in as many classes as Slytherin had with Gryffindor, and met in the library often to study together and hung out by the lake whenever Lily had the time. He and Lily enjoyed Hogsmeade together and perused all the shops until her other friends dragged her off. He started a small potions business selling prepared plants to older students in order to earn a few galleons with which he could treat Lily to a butterbeer when they went.
It was really a very good year for Severus, in no small part due to the fact that Lucius was Head Boy, and the whole school understood that Severus was part of his cadre and not to be messed with. As Lucius graduated in the spring, he took Severus and Regulus aside and told them to be sure to take care of Narcissa the following year. The boys both promised.
Fourth year was when problems not involving the Marauders started for Severus. The other fourth years with whom he roomed included Mulciber, Avery and Rosier, and they were relentless in their torment without Lucius there in the background. They started requiring Severus to hang out with them and would throw hexes any time he didn’t laugh at their jokes or said the wrong word, such as “muggleborn.”
“Where you’ve been, Snape? Hanging out with your mudblood?”
Severus ignored them and focused on gathering his things for the shower. He’d started using a bar of soap for his hair as one of them had taken to adding malicious potions into his shampoo.
“Ignore him, Rosier. He’s just growing up to be a Blood Traitor.”
“Yo, Snape,” Rosier called. “You’re with us next Hogsmeade, and don’t forget it. Or, you know what’ll happen. Maybe it’ll be to your mudblood next time. Your real friends won’t let you become a Blood Traitor.”
Severus walked dejectedly into the shower room.
Narcissa was the bright point in that year. She was Head Girl, of course, as her mother wouldn’t have accepted anything else, and was taking seven NEWTs. She made time for dueling and Occlumency with the two of them, and Severus continued helping her with potions, learning the seventh year curriculum as they went. In early November, she informed both Severus and Regulus that they would both be accompanying her to Gladrags for formal robes at the next Hogsmeade visit.
The two boys followed her into the shop.
“All three of us will need outfitted for formal robes,” she announced to the clerk.
Narcissa looked around to make sure it was just the three of them in the store. She turned and smiled conspiratorially at the boys. “Lucius has proposed and I’m to give my answer at the Christmas Ball. Regulus will be there with his family as a matter of course, but Severus, I’d like you to escort me.”
Severus took a moment to process what she had just said. “But, won’t you be with Lucius?”
“If Lucius were my escort, then he’d already have his answer now, wouldn’t he?”
“Oh.”
“How will you let him know?” Regulus asked, excitedly. He hadn’t been allowed at the Christmas Balls before and was greatly anticipating his first.
“If I accept his proposal, I’ll be wearing a corsage of four red roses. If I reject him, then I’ll be wearing narcissas.”
“Wicked!” Regulus exclaimed as Severus looked around for what might be nice, but cheaper ready to wear dress robes.
Narcissa, however, went to a rack and pulled out some thick black damask and dark green velvet, holding it up to see the results against his figure. “I think these will do, don’t you?” she asked.
“Whatever you think is best,” he replied.
That Christmas break, he went home with Regulus. Thankfully, Sirius had already made arrangements to be with the Potters, so for the first time that school year, he didn’t have to worry about his safety. 12 Grimmauld Place was everything Severus had hoped for. His mother had told him stories of her parents’ home and he had dreamed of seeing a real wizard’s house since he could remember. 12 Grimmauld Place did not disappoint. There were elf heads mounted on the wall, a giant library that even held grimoires, more guest rooms than he could imagine, and a ballroom on the top floor where he and Regulus could duel. Elves cooked his food and he could even see them. The bath held wonderful soaps and his hair hadn’t felt so nice since the school year had started.
The night of the Malfoy Christmas Ball came, and the boys flooed to Malfoy Manor. A house elf took their traveling cloaks and showed them to an upstairs room reserved for the Blacks, where Narcissa would meet them. She arrived, followed by a house elf carrying both corsages.
‘You have both!” Severus exclaimed.
“Of course,” Narcissa smirked. “Can’t have the florist spreading gossip about what my answer might be. We have to be cunning.”
After chatting for a bit, a stunning (in many more ways than one) witch threw open the doors to the room. “Cissy!” she called.
“Bella. Enjoying the evening?”
Regulus gently nudged Severus into a back corner and gave him a warning look. Severus gave a slight nod to indicate that he understood who she was.
“Well enough to eat the Malfoy food and drink their wine cellar. So, will you accept?”
“I’m still considering.” Narcissa held herself straight with a blank face, so completely in contrast to the witch Severus knew to be the eldest sister. Bellatrix exuded complete confidence that she was the most powerful witch or wizard in any room she might be in, or would be at any rate, and conducted herself as such. Narcissa’s prowess at dueling had convinced Severus that she was formidable, but now he understood why. The Blacks, he had learned, took care of their own, and Narcissa was the youngest of the Sisters Black.
Bellatrix turned to peruse the room. “Where’s that boy you brought as escort? Ah, there he is! Here, boy. Where are your manners? You should know to greet a witch when she enters.”
Regulus gave Severus a slight nod and Severus walked into the center of the room to greet Bellatrix.
“Madame LeStrange,” he greeted, slightly bowing. “I’m Severus Snape and am honored to make your acquaintance. I have heard many good things about you.”
She grabbed his chin and pulled his face up to look into his eyes. Severus immediately began to Occlude and showed good scenes of the three of them doing school work and proper duels.
“Hmph. He’s boring, Cissy. You must be accepting. Here, I’ll fix your corsage.”
Bellatrix picked up the four red roses and began to affix it to Narcissa’s gown. “Regulus will accompany me back and I’ll send him up when everyone will be watching. It shouldn’t be too long.”
After the door closed, Narcissa turned to Severus and gave a small laugh. “Well, now you’ve met Bella.”
“She wasn’t as bad as I thought she would be.”
“As was her aim. Never, and I mean never, let your guard down with her. She is not your friend. Not now, not ever. She will never respect you even if you were able to best her in many duels, which won’t happen. Her husband has never won, Father hasn’t in years and even Mother loses more often than she wins now.” Her gaze softened and then she gave a small smile. “You did well Occluding her. She didn’t even suspect. She knows my mind is blank, but didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary with you. So, good job.”
“Thanks.” Severus gave a small smile. “I was ready, just like you said to be.”
That summer Narcissa Black was bonded to Lucius Malfoy in a wedding in the Malfoy gardens. White peafowl nipped at the pots of narcissas on a sunny Solstice. Severus had inquired into bringing Lily, but Narcissa had steered him away due to her family being in attendance. But, he brought back a piece of cake for her and told her all about it.
Fifth year started. Lily, who had spent most of the summer with him, was now off with her friends. Severus tried scheduling study sessions in the library, but most of the time she was busy with her girlfriends. Severus could overhear them chatting sometimes about which boys they fancied. He was relieved that he never heard her naming any Gryffindors, but knew that she wouldn’t blow off his invitations as often as she did if she fancied him.
He debated trying out for the quidditch team with Regulus, but decided that if he were to make Head Boy, he’d be better off using the time for studying.
Severus asked Lily to the first Hogsmeade trip, but she said she had a date with some Ravenclaw. The hexes that night in the Slytherin fifth year room came fast and furious. As Severus pulled closed his bed curtains, Rosier announced that Severus would be accompanying them the entire Hogsmeade trip. There was nothing Severus could do when his classmates hexed Mary MacDonald while there.
Severus got better at dueling. Much better. He had to.
Severus also got better at creating spells. His adversaries could easily defend against known spells. New spells were the only way he could win three-on-one attacks. Severus was very creative. He had to be.
Severus got better at pretending to fit in with his roommates. He got better at using their vocabulary without any tells. He got better at laughing at all the right places. He got better at Occluding his thoughts and hiding his convictions. He had to.
Then the worst day of his school career happened. He tried to explain, but she kept cutting him off. Every time he tried to tell her what he really thought and truly believed, she interrupted him. She closed the door on him without even giving him the chance to apologize.
He wrote more frequently to Andromeda. In his bed. With the curtains pulled.
He wrote frequently to Narcissa too. In the library. Where others could see her name and remember that he still had a friend who was both a Black and a Malfoy.
He took to following the Marauders, hoping that he’d be able to find something to convince Lily to give him another chance. He missed his best friend so dearly. Instead, he found imminent death, and while he was sworn to secrecy, Potter made sure the entire school knew that Severus had needed James to save his life. For the first time in his life, he looked forward to returning to Spinner’s End.
He tried to see Lily the entire first month back. He left notes and flowers on her doorstep. He waited for her by their tree by the river. One day he found all his letters unopened with a note that said:
Leave me alone.
Signed, Mudblood
He wrote Regulus and was invited over for the rest of the summer. They were able to floo to Malfoy Manor and meet up with Narcissa and with Lucius when he was available. Abraxas was teaching Lucius everything about politics and their businesses so it was only weekends when they could see him, but Narcissa was usually available for games or flying or dueling.
It turned out that there were a lot of social gatherings at Malfoy Manor, and Regulus and Severus were included. The most influential of wizarding society was there, as was a most important guest who seemed to be doted upon by Abraxas. Narcissa told the boys in a whisper in a far room, “His name is Lord Voldemort, but only ever refer to him as the Dark Lord. You call him ‘My Lord’ whenever you address him.” And so it was that Severus was introduced to wizarding high society. Regulus’s mother, Walburga, told him that he was like a second son to her and Severus joined them when they went shopping before the coming term. Severus understood from the scorch marks in the drawing room that Sirius had joined Andromeda in being “burned off the tapestry,” but rather felt that Sirius had deserved it.
Sixth year had Severus arriving with Regulus in bespoke robes ordered by Walburga. She’d had the Prince crest embroidered onto them as that seemed to play well with her contemporaries during the summer social season. Severus walked into his bedroom with new confidence, determined that if he were as good as Walburga Black’s second son, then he would comport himself as such.
He tutored the younger students in all the main subjects, having scored nine Outstandings on his OWLs. He and Regulus organized a dueling club for Slytherin students. He offered assistance to the new Defense professor and was allowed to grade the younger students’ work and assist with lesson preparations. He studied, created, improved, devised and assisted at every opportunity. He wanted to ensure that the Head Boy next year would be him.
He brought a date to the Malfoy Christmas Ball from Hufflepuff House, who was completely smitten by the end of the evening. Severus wasn’t the most handsome, but he was certainly dashing in his new black velvet robes and danced better than any but perhaps the Sacred 28. Narcissa threw him an early birthday party before his return to school in January. Seventeen. That summer he’d be an adult and life would be different. He’d be able to visit with Andromeda and maybe get a job.
Easter break held more social gatherings at the Malfoys, and always the Dark Lord was in attendance. For the first time, he and Regulus were permitted to join Lucius in a small strategy meeting, where Lord Voldemort outlined his next plans in the separation of the wizarding and muggle worlds. Legislation. Strict penalties for relationships with muggles. All things that a rational witch or wizard would want. Merlin knows how his life was so much more difficult because his mother had married a Muggle. He and Regulus sat in seats near the back and said nothing until the Dark Lord specifically asked for his opinion.
“Yes, My Lord. Muggles simply aren’t able to comprehend the realities of the Magical. They can’t even understand other Muggles. They divide themselves based on trivialities such as skin pigment, and then their specious groups do their best to murder each other. Their ignorance has no place among those of greater ability.”
Lord Voldemort smiled genially to the assembled Lords. “See how the future of Magical Britain already possesses an innate understanding of what makes a man and what makes an animal.”
Bellatrix laughed.
Summer came and Severus had a job at an apothecary in Ipswich. True, his job was only ingredient preparation and he was not given any brewing assignments, but it was a good job and earned him something for the coming year. He was first able to visit with Andromenda and her husband Ted on a Sunday in mid-June.
“This is my daughter, Nymphadora.”
“Hi! What’s your name?” Nymphadora asked Severus.
“You may call him Mr. Snape.”
Nymphadora ignored her mother. “Friends call each other by their given names! We’re friends, right?! I’m Nymphadora.”
“Hi, I’m Severus.” Severus looked questioningly at Andromeda, who just shook her head.
In the future, Nymphadora always ran to greet Severus whenever he apparated into their yard yelling off to her parents, “My friend Severus is here!” More often than not, she tripped before she reached him.
Severus received his Seventh Year Hogwarts letter. He was not Head Boy.
A week after the Hogwarts Graduation (where Severus learned he had earned eight NEWTS: Os in Defense, Potions (with an unheard of perfect score!), Charms, Herbology, Runes, Arithmancy and Astronomy and an E in Transfiguration), the Malfoys held their Solstice Ball. It was there that Potions Master Charles Ashworth, one of the three most highly accomplished Potions Masters in Europe, made his very public offer to apprentice Severus. His acceptance was met with a round of applause by all of Britain's elite, and Walburga didn’t hesitate to walk him around the room making endless introductions to everyone of note.
Severus applied himself to his studies with Master Ashworth and became one of the youngest potions masters in history. The Dark Lord then wished him to replace Professor Slughorn, which he successfully did. His heart broke when his oldest best friend married without even a note to him. Maybe she could move on with her life, but he thought of her and their fraternal love at his darkest points, and missed her more sorely than ever. She had enriched his life in ways that not even Narcissa and Andromeda had. And he missed it.
Of course, we all know how the story ends. He loved her because the happiest, most poetic of his memories were all with her, and he sold his soul to keep hers her own. Regulus went missing. Walburga went crazy. And then the beacon from his memories was killed by his unwitting Dark Lord, leaving the families of the younger Sisters Black all that he had left.