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Nagisa can tell that Rei has absolutely no intention of discussing how his exam went the second he walks in the door to their apartment. He slowly removes his shoes while his dead eyes and pale face remain fixed on nothing in particular, and then slips away into his room, gently closing the door behind him. Nagisa was too busy analyzing Rei’s actions that he’d forgotten to welcome him home, but something told him Rei probably hadn’t even noticed him peeking around from the living room. He sighs, shuts off the T.V., and tentatively walks to the door of Rei’s room before knocking lightly.
“Rei-chan? …Can I come in?” He hears a slight rustle of sheets, but no verbal response. After waiting for a few more moments, he cracks the door open and lets himself in before silently shutting it again. Even in the dark, he can see Rei’s back tense. Nagisa slowly walks to the edge of the bed and kneels down to stroke the back of the other’s hair to test his reaction. When the advances of his hand aren’t rejected, he climbs in beside the taller boy and loosely wraps his arms around the slightly shaking body.
He says nothing.
They were both 3rd-year University students and had lived together since year one in an apartment equidistant to their separate schools. Normally, Nagisa’s constant, meaningless chatter had a somewhat soothing effect on Rei’s rather constipated demeanor, but Nagisa had lived with him long enough to decipher when silence was preferred.
Like now, for instance.
This term had beaten Rei to the bone, and even though Rei tried to hide it as best as he could, Nagisa could easily tell that he’d been slowly falling apart for months.
His advanced-quantum-mechanics-whatever-theory class (that Nagisa thought was Persian or some Alien language the first time he’d seen Rei’s homework) was apparently so difficult that Rei, Rei-chan, Ryugazaki Rei, had actually failed his first quiz. And the second. And the first exam. And the second…
Eventually, Rei had stopped discussing his class results altogether, but Nagisa knew that didn’t mean anything good.
And now the final exam was over and done with and poor Rei, despite the overwhelming frustration and disappointment he’d pushed himself through all semester, had worked so, so hard, and left this morning with his visibly tired complexion facing the sun, knowing this was his last chance to redeem himself.
If the silent sobs that shook his tired body meant anything, it was that Nagisa didn’t have to ask how it went.
And he also knew that nothing he could say to try and console the man would be relevant to how Rei was feeling. It didn’t even matter if he ended up with the top score in the class after some bullshit bell curve was statistically calculated; Rei had poured every last ounce of his fighting power into succeeding in this course, and the fact that he could still get pegged with a failing mark ripped his fragile, overworked heart to bits.
It made Nagisa want to storm into Rei’s department’s building and punch this professor in his smug, overbearing face. The fact that Rei-chan, the smartest person he knew, was having such a hard time meant that the material being tested on was either not taught correctly, or was far from undergraduate level.
But Nagisa knew that even if either of those facts were true, it still wouldn’t make Rei feel any better.
Even if he let him know that, no matter the outcome, his family would still love him, his friends would still love him, Nagisa would most definitely still love him… none of that meant anything right now because Rei hadn’t let any of them down in the first place. He had failed himself, in his mind, and Rei was the one who had to forgive himself- accept himself.
Nagisa wasn’t going to argue how amazing he thought the other was, and that Rei was the only reason his sorry butt was able to pass the general chemistry class required for all fields of study.
He wasn’t going to bring up the point that the exams haven’t even been graded yet.
And he certainly wasn’t going to say that one bad mark would hardly affect his 3-year-dense, near-perfect GPA.
No, he just lies there on the bed, nuzzling softly into Rei’s broad, quivering back, and keeps lightly running his fingers up and down the expanse of his bicep, over the curve of his shoulder, up to the short tufts of indigo behind his ears until, at last, the past nights of rigorous studying begin to take their toll. The shaking comes to a slow stop, and Rei relaxes into Nagisa’s gentle embrace as sleep finally takes him.
*
The next morning Nagisa opens his eyes to find Rei rolled over and facing him wearing a blank expression; his eyes still bloodshot from a combination of fatigue and tears.
“Good morning, Rei-chan!” Nagisa chirps, smiling softly as he presses a long, slow, kiss to Rei’s forehead.
He pulls back and Rei simply blinks at him a few times before opening his mouth.
“That exam was not beautiful.”
Nagisa stares for a few seconds before he feels his lips twitch into a smile, which bubbles into a giggling mess that erupts into fit of belly-shaking hilarity.
Rei tries hard not to crack, but Nagisa can see the smile he’s trying to hide, and holds him close, wonderfully close, sighing with relief through his laughter because Rei-chan is going to be okay.
Everything is going to be okay.