Chapter Text
I could not live my life like that anymore. That life was not mine, it did not belong to me.
It started from something minute but it grew continuously until my escape seemed nearly impossible. Each day passed the more I would feel surpressed. Each year passed the more I felt defeated. I had nothing to fight for until, one certain day, a young girl appeared in my life...that was when I became alive once again.
I had found her on my way back home after a long day at work in the late evening. The area I lived in was certainly not adapted for a young girl roaming at such an hour. Seeing her clothes tattered and her body swaying side to side, I immediately went up to her.
Shortening the distance between us seemed to make her frightened, her small figure slowly moving backwards. I looked her over and realised that not only her clothes were in a pitiful state but her arms and legs. Multiple scars, old and new, painted her skin. Her face was untouched but her eyes...once I saw them my heart constricted...I knew that gaze, what her thoughts were.
They were lifeless, empty. Not even the light of the nearby lamp post managed to give that glint in her eyes. Dark black, endless. A storm at sea.
I halted in my steps and bent down to reach her height. I smiled gently keeping in my mind to not do any brisk actions which could make her run away. ‘’Dear, why are you out at this time? Mama and Papa must be looking for you. Would you like this uncle to walk you back?’’
Neither of us moved an inch.
‘’I don’t know where my parents are. I don’t have any.’’
Zhan had managed to comprehend such an answer from her present condition. Those scars were not simply caused from getting hurt or punished by your own parents…
‘’Do you know where you are going, dear?’’, in reply she shook her head.
‘’I just want to get away from them. I don’t want to feel pain anymore. I don’t want to feel anything anymore.’’
The girl spoke while staring at Zhan’s face. Her voice was unwavering, almost as if what she was saying did not regard her own being.
‘’You can come with me, I don’t mind the company. Though if you don’t want to, know that you are free to say so. You can do whatever you wish.’’
From that day, I became the parent of Lina.
My job was not good, I did not want to further taint the girl’s young life. I started to plan on how I could leave unnoticed but for months I just could not find the right solution.
I was a doctor who got entangled with the wrong kind of people unintentionally. I had no parents to take care of, as they both left the world of the living slightly after I had initiated my medical studies.
Whilst I studied I was forced to work so I was able to maintain myself. I managed to land a job at a 24/7 grocery store. Taking the night shift, I would walk there everyday from my lectures and remain there until around two in the morning. During the night I was not disturbed much by customers and consumed my time revising the day’s lecture or catching up on a series when my brain would not allow anymore knowledge to enter. Years passed like this. I excelled in my studies and received numerous praises from my professors.
Just when I thought my life was going smoothly with a perfect rhythm, everything turned upside down. One truly must not take anything for granted.
I was cleaning up when I heard a person’s footsteps entering the store. It was already past one in the morning and usually at this time nobody but with ill intentions would come. My heartbeat began to accelerate but nonetheless, I fast-paced back to the counter. The new customer was a man seemingly around my age and he staggered to where the first aid kits were.
I did not put my guard down at all (even though the man seemed harmless). My eyes carefully followed the latter’s actions, in case he was planning on stealing or something else. His movements were almost as if they were put into slow-motion but his heavy breathing could be heard from all the way where I stood. Something was certainly wrong and being a medical student, my doctor mode came on. ‘’Excuse me, Sir? You can tell me what you need and I will get it for you. I am studying medicine so I hope to be of help… I apologise if I am crossing a line.’’
The man stopped his movements and spoke with a wavering, weak voice. ‘’I think I have an infection and I need... some bandages for large areas.’’
Once I heard ‘bandages for large areas’ I instantly got worried, ‘’Sir, what kind of infection? Being more specific will help me get you the necessary things.’’
After that encounter...was when my life went into a different direction and there was no going back.
I had one final exam to take before I could initiate my residency at the nearby hospital but unfortunately, I failed. Yes, all the countless nights of continuous studying were fruitless. My nerves got the best of me, they took control; leaving my exam paper with answers written down randomly as I did not want to stay there for hours doing nothing. Every term I had read in each question did not seem quite foreign to me though my mind just could not connect the dots. I have heard that term before but I don’t know what it is related to or anything else.
To say the least, that day was a pure nightmare.
Leaving with my high spirits almost literally nonexistent, I walked to my second home; the supermarket. Along the way I had bought myself something tooth achingly sweet because what is the best way to make one feel better? Sweets, a lot of them!
I was walking with a bit more vitality in my steps until my eyes came into contact with the same man I had met that night. The sun was setting and it coloured the latter’s silhouette with warm shades. He was leaning against the wall of the store (which was closed as the other worker had called in sick and nobody could have opened besides myself).
As he saw me getting closer, his foot was placed back onto the pavement and quickly stepped towards my direction.
‘’Hello, Sir. If you just give me one moment I will open up and you can come in. I apologise that you found the store closed.’’
I did not make eye contact with him and I grabbed the set of keys from my satchel. I was simply minding my own business when my movements got promptly interrupted. The man’s hold on my wrist tightened till the point I had to swallow down a gasp. He forcefully made me face him and spoke in his wavering voice, “You said that you’re a doctor, right? I need your help.’’
Bewilderment was certainly the first emotion which surged into me. Afterall, why would a man ask an unknown person for medical help?
‘’Sir, I am studying to become one. I’m afraid I don’t have the necessary requirements. If you’d like I could suggest you some trustworthy doctors I am acquaintance with.’’
The former sighed and shook his head lightly.
‘’He told me that you seem like a person who we can trust and I believe him. Are you good with your hands?”
What sort of question is that? Who the fuck is ‘he’, am I being watched?
In a moment of uncertainty one should always appear tranquil outside and control the frequency of one's heartbeat...and that is what Xiao Zhan did.
‘’Sir, I once again stand by what I said before. Please excuse me, I need to open the store. It’s already late enough.’’
The sun had already left its post to the moon. The sky tinged dark, adorned with various splendid stars which could not be apparently seen as city lights did not allow it. My movements were once again disrupted by the same man. Patience was running thin on my mind and it seemed that he was no better.
‘’You should know to never decline such a request. My friend will take care of the store in your absence. Now come on, he has been waiting enough for you, Doc.’’
Just as he finished speaking another man walked up to them, all smiling and waving cheerfully. From Xiao Zhan’s point of view the newcomer seemed reliant on the man who was still clutching his wrist tightly but he seemed certainly more reliable.
Seeing in what situation he was in, Zhan had no choice but to accept; people had already started to gather around. He released a sigh and spoke in a defeated manner, ‘’Alright, take me to him and I’ll see what I can do. If I deem it out of my capabilities I will contact a professional.’’
He left no room for discussion as he technically should not even have been practicing medicine without any supervision.
…
The further they walked the more Zhan regretted his decision. They left behind the busy city streets and welcomed unsettling narrow alleys lit with the bare minimum; mostly provided by the full moon. He hugged his satchel to his chest in the hopes of reassuring himself but the inanimate object could not really manage to do such. Am I going to get fucking killed or abducted here? Fuck no! Why am I such a bloody idiot?!
‘’We are here.’’
The unknown man’s voice resonated clearly in the alley, pulling Zhan out of his inner turmoil and back to his unclear reality. They stopped in front of a rundown mechanic shop. The letters painted onto the sheet of metal, which acted as a sign, had become illegible without any maintenance. It truly looked haunted thanks to the fact that the garage door was slightly pulled up and white light seeped out from the minute gap.
The man did not wait for a response and pulled up the door, not paying any heed to the deafening screeching sound produced. I closed my eyes once the bright light hit my face, waiting until my eyes would automatically adjust.
‘’What the fuck took so long?!’’
From the interior of the garage a brittle voice echoed and I let my eyes wander to the new man who ran up to us in fury. He looked slightly younger than me by a few years but what truly caught my attention was his dainty, unblemished face. It truly seemed out of place if you confronted it with the situation and the setting. Curiosity began to overcome the feeling of anxiety that Zhan had initially. He decided to speak up by mustering all the courage he could summon. He cleared his throat to gain the others’ attention as they were having quite a heated discussion among themselves.
‘’Well, is somebody going to tell me what I am here for? I wish to finish this matter soon and go back to my actual job.’’
It seemed almost as if they had forgotten his presence and both of the men looked at him expressionless. ‘’Right...I’ll save the introductions for later. Let’s get down to business, follow me.’’
Once the newcomer finished speaking, he signaled with his hand to tell Zhan to follow suit.
They walked further in; the innocent looking boy in front and the other man right behind the medical student. Reaching a door at the far back of the store, Zhan was forced to turn around whilst the younger typed in the security code. It is not like I would ever want to come back to this horrid place...