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It had been at least twenty years since they’d properly celebrated Christmas. Sam paused. He thought that sentence over again and pinpointed everything that was wrong with it.
They had done what Dean considered celebrating, sure. A half forced ‘Merry Christmas brother’ at three in the afternoon, a pat on the back as a gift. One year they’d even gotten it together to get a pie to add to the festivity, but it wasn’t what Sam wanted from the holiday. A tree and decorations and presents and taking the time out of their lives to relax and reflect. Proper. And as for it being twenty years, well, Sam had a hard go of keeping track of the time once he’d hit fifty.
That was three years ago. That he was sure of. Few things nowadays he was sure of. Sam had made his share of mistakes over the years. Not looking for Dean when he promised he wouldn’t. Taking risks bigger than he knew he should. Drinking the demon blood. Ruby in general.
He’d never regretted a decision in his life the way he had now.
“Sam.”
Castiel, still young and uninhibited about appearing beside Sam in the car as he drove it, put a hand on the moose man’s shoulder.
“Cas.” Sam acknowledged simply, keeping his focus on the road.
“You don’t need to worry, he’s going to love it.”
It, of course, referred to the Impala. It had been some years since Dean had seen it.
“Eight years.”
Eight years, Cas reminded him. It had been eight years since they were hunting a ghoul in North Dakota. Eight years since it had been totaled. The two truck driver refused to believe it had been the boat it once was. The transport had reduced it to a golf cart.
Dean, edging on fifty and angrier at the world than ever before, decided in a fit of rage that it wasn’t worth repairing. He argued with Sam that they didn’t have the time, that it would cost too much, that in the end it wouldn’t be worth the effort. He complained that he was too old to be under the hood and rebuilding things from scratch. He talked at length about how they only kept the car because it was their father’s and how they should retire the car and themselves to a lifestyle that wasn’t going to kill them.
While Sam couldn’t totally deny any of Dean’s accusations, he didn’t completely agree with him either. The car had been in the family since Dean had convinced their father to buy it, and he had maintained the vehicle to his impeccable standards up until the truck had totaled it. They had rebuilt it together more than once and Dean had never complained before this time about it being too costly or them being too old. But Sam still felt the car was a part of their family. One of the only connections to their parents that was still alive and with them. Yeah, it was a pain on gas and it did need more maintenance and care than a newer car would. But it had been their home for such a long time. It had been their constant even when nothing else was. Even when they were without each other, they still had baby. And her blemishes? Sam insisted to this day it was all part of her beauty.
So when Dean had said he’d had enough and walked away from her, Sam took over. They’d had the impala brought to Bobby’s old junk yard, where Garth had taken the helm, and set for scrap. Sam had waited for Dean to drink himself to sleep before swearing Garth and Charlie to his side. With their help, Sam rebuilt her once more. Slowly seeking out original parts when he could, making sure it still smelled faintly of Scandinavian plastics when the heat was cranked. He took his time, showing the car the love and patience she had showed him as a child. Giving her the attention and care she had provided him when Dean carted him away from law school. The car had kept them safe for their entire lives. Sam wasn’t just going to turn his back on her.
But while Sam secretly worked away on it, Dean transformed. He quit battling monsters full time and settled in Kansas. He opened a garage and started fixing cars for a living. He met a lady, Melissa, and helped her raise her two year old daughter. Felicia was seven now. And Dean and Melissa were expecting a baby of their own.
It had been a few years since Sam had seen his brother. He couldn’t quit the lifestyle the way Dean had. So he still travelled. Going where Garth sent him, eradicating whichever monster was causing trouble this week and hanging out at the junk yard. Garth had a pretty good set up going, running the network or hunters that had been looking for a more stable life while still doing the job they felt destined for. And Charlie was around a lot too, taking care of the financial aspects of the business. No one dared ask her how.
But it was nearing Christmas and Sam wanted to get Dean his present before the baby arrived. He’d make it into Lawrence just after the sun went down. He would need Cas to help him once it rose again.
Sam waited until morning to pull off his surprise. Castiel had pushed the car into the empty spot in the driveway next to the Toyota Highlander Dean and Melissa shared. He locked Baby up and patted her on the hood as he placed the keys on it.
“You’re home now.”
Sam walked across the street and lingered a few doors down behind a tree. There were a lot of things left unsaid between the brothers, but he knew that Dean wouldn’t want to rehash them now. He’d left a note in the glove box. Dean would call him when he was ready.
He passed the time in silence as a few of the neighbors awoke and left for their jobs. It wasn’t much time until Dean’s front door opened. A little girl ran out the front door and stopped at the front of the Impala. She looked at it with caution but still poked at it with her finger. She didn’t notice the keys when she peered into the back seat window. Sam heard her shout Daddy Daddy at the open front door.
Then he appeared. Tired and grey haired, wearing a shirt with his name on it. His voice was low and gruff when he called out to the girl not to yell and wake the neighbors. Jessica was her name.
He stopped when he looked up. Something inside the house had him distracted. But it was obvious he had seen the car. His car. The car that had always belonged to him even before he was born. The Impala was just as much Dean’s baby and Dean was its. And the look on his face was enough to prove to Sam that Cas had been right. He did love it.
Dean took a few small steps forward with a hand on his chest as if the wind had been taken from him. Jessica was still a ball full of energy, running around and looking in windows, shouting how it was a mystery car. Dean’s voice had turned to a whisper Sam couldn’t hear, but he saw a glint in his eye when he read the word ‘baby’ on his brother’s lips. Jessica had found the keys as Dean put his free hand on the hood. She was more excited about the ribbon attached to the ring than the keys.
“Look Daddy, it says Merry Christmas on it.”
There was a small breeze at Sam’s back as Castiel appeared. Though Sam was sure he entered the street unseen, Dean’s head shot up as he was handed the keys. He seemed to know exactly where to look.
“Now Cas.”
The angel placed a hand on the moose man’s shoulder and he felt them move through space, away from the street, the city, the state, but not before hearing his brother call his name one more time.
Sam would never be able to repair all the mistake he’d made, he knew that. But he could be a part of his brother’s life again, when he was ready. Then maybe they could have the Christmas they’ve both always wanted.