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The door closes with a soft click, leaving Taylor alone in the suddenly deafening silence of her apartment. Meredith comes trotting into the room, brushing up against Taylor's legs, purring, but Taylor hardly notices. She can still feel the pressure on her lips, still smell the spicy perfume that Karlie wears. Her heart is still racing in her chest, her pulse beating heavy in the veins in her neck. Taylor's fingers are icy cold.
She didn't mean to do it, honestly. It's not the first time she's thought about it, obviously. She's a fairly sexual being and her feelings for Karlie had always included a vague attraction. Taylor used to think that was because she saw Karlie pose so much. She was smoldering at her from so many billboards and ads, it was impossible to be unaware of her appeal. The fact that Taylor sort of wants to kiss Karlie the most when they're just hanging out on the couch clued her in on how that's probably not it. It's really just Karlie. Taylor has a huge old crush on Karlie, and watching her strutt her stuff in Victoria's Secret Angel gear makes that crush neither smaller nor bigger.
But she still never meant to actually kiss Karlie. Not just out of the blue. Not just instead of saying 'hello' like a normal person. Fucking hell, no wonder Karlie turned tail and practically ran back out the door immediately. Way to ruin a great friendship, Taylor. You didn't even need a single word! Amazing, really, when you think about it.
Fuck.
Meredith gives up on getting Taylor to pet her and Taylor makes a conscious effort to unclench her jaw.
Should she call Karlie? Apologise? Explain? Hope that they're both adult enough to awkwardly fumble past this and somehow manage to salvage their friendship? Or does she wait for Karlie to call first? Give her space and time and all that jazz? But what if Karlie thinks Taylor's giving up on her the second it looks like Karlie won't sleep with her? That's not it at all! If Taylor never gets her mouth on Karlie's breasts or ... any other part of her she'll be totally fine! She'd prefer it, yeah, but she just really likes Karlie. She'd rather have her around.
She takes a step forward and leans her head against the cool wood of the front door. They were going to make deep dish pizza and binge watch Grey's Anatomy. It was going to be a good night. Taylor blinks against the sting of tears in her eyes and for reasons that are beyond her decides to stare out at the empty hallway through the peep hole.
Only it's not empty.
Karlie's there. She's pacing and she's messing with her hair the way she does when she's nervous, but her bag's lying on the floor and it looks like she never actually left. She never went further than the other side of the door granted, that's still the other side of the door, markedly the one not in Taylor's apartment, but it's better than running away all together, surely?
Taylor pulls back, heart beating wildly, and chews on her lip for a handful of seconds, contemplating, and then wrenches open the door.
Karlie's got her finger perched above the buzzer like she was just going to ring the bell.
"I'm so sorry," they both blurt.
"Why are you sorry? I kissed you!" Taylor says.
"I ran out!" Karlie says.
"I freaked you out!"
"You didn't!" Karlie insists. "I wasn't thinking."
"Neither was I!"
Karlie wrinkles her brow. Her finger is still up by the door bell but now her hand slowly sinks back to her side.
"So... you didn't actually want to kiss me?"
"I... no, I did," Taylor says. Karlie and she have had so many conversations about how honesty is always the best policy, she figures she should probably take her own advice. "Can you come back inside?"
The whole floor of the building is hers, but suddenly Taylor feels awkward discussing this at her doorstep.
"Yeah, sure, just. You wanted to kiss me? Will you want to keep kissing me?" Karlie asks.
"Yes. I have a crush on you. I'm sorry if that's awkward, but, please, can you...?"
"Sure, sure," Karlie says, sounding distracted. She picks up her bag and drops it right by Taylor's door and then lets the door swing shut behind her.
"I like you too," Karlie says, stepping into Taylor's personal bubble and winding her arms around her neck. "I just didn't..."
She doesn't say what she didn't, leans in and kisses Taylor instead. Taylor makes a soft, surprised sound in the back of her throat, eyes going wide before they fall shut. She brings her hands up slowly, holding on to Karlie's waist for a moment and then pushing her away.
"Wait, wait. You like me back?" she asks, still somehow stuck on that, eyes flitting all over Karlie's face. Karlie nods, but stares at Taylor's lips and not her eyes.
"I do, I do. I want to take you on dates and everything but, just-- can we do this first? Details later," Karlie says and then leans in for another kiss, sweet and languid. Taylor opens her mouth to Karlie's tongue and slips her hands from her waist to her back, pulling them more closely together.
Details later. Taylor can do that.